


Intuitive Connection

by ALiteraryLady



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Adorkable Sonny, Budding intimacy, F/M, Fluffy stuff to soothe your broken heart, Holiday fluffs, Later on it gets a bit less fluffy, M/M, Multi, Romance, Serious SVU stuff, The new new guy, The new new guy is all shy and stuffs, also some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 03:44:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 105,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5232674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALiteraryLady/pseuds/ALiteraryLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new ADA returns to SVU a year after a harrowing abduction. While trying to get back into her role, she finds an unexpected admirer who doesn't seem to be the man the rest of his co-workers see him as. Naturally, her friend, Sonny Carisi has to intervene and make sure that cupid's arrow doesn't miss them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Holiday decorations

**Author's Note:**

> This is a thing I wrote during a blackout at my store a while back, it's kinda become a thing.
> 
> I'm open to constructive criticism and help, but don't be a dick about it.
> 
> Thanks for checking this thing out!

“You got it?” Detective Carisi asked as she reached up on her tiptoes and grabbed the tinsel around the tree.  
“Yes” she replied. Quin didn't realize earlier in the day she'd be decorating a tree, yet somehow Carisi got her involved with the process. She had to admit, she wasn't able to resist his genuine need for her help; he had been in her office for a good twenty minutes making a case that she help out and she found his arguments to be valid. He had mentioned something about Lieutenant Benson trying to bring the holiday spirit to SVU, and it tugged at her heart strings. She tucked a stray strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear and adjusted her glasses. The seven foot tall tree had an ethereal quality that brought out her reflective nature more, and reminded her that once more she'd be alone for the holidays.  
“Looks good” Carisi flashed his trademark smile at her, she felt her face flush. “You don't get too many compliments, do ya?” he joked as his hand patted her on the back.  
“Not really, however, my tree decorating skills usually don't come into play in the courtroom, so..” she trailed off as Finn handed her a box of ornaments, “Enjoy that” Finn smiled and returned to his desk, and began to read the sport section of the newspaper.  
“So who's idea was it to put a tree in the bullpen this year?” Rollins asked Carisi, with two large cups of coffee, one in each hand. Carisi reached for one, but Rollins pulled it back away from him, “ladies first Carisi, and so far Quin has been doing all of the work...” She raised an eyebrow at him.  
“Oh, he can have mine, I got a tea a few minutes ago.” Quin took the cup from Rollins, and handed it to Carisi.  
“See Rollins, Quin gets my work ethic. I'm a supportive detective in the harsh, cruel world of holiday decorating.” Carisi took a sip of coffee, a satisfied expression spread over his face. Rollins rolled her eyes and handed Quin a few ornaments to put on the tree.  
“Thanks” Quin took them and started to put them randomly on the tree as Benson walked by, and stopped to gander at their progress.  
“Looks good Montgomery, please tell me that at least one of them has been useful?” She playfully asked as faux expressions of hurt crossed over Rollins and Carisi's faces.  
“Both of them have, Lieutenant” Quin replied. Carisi and Rollins began to actually help as Benson turned her attention towards Finn.  
“What has Finn been doing to help?” Benson added.  
Finn looked up and looked her in the eyes, “Tech support” he calmly stated.  
Rollins and Carisi let out sighs; Rollins threw a bit of tinsel at Finn, which landed on his head.  
“I'd love to stay and see this impressive tech support you've got going on Finn, but I have a meeting with Chief Dodds,” Benson turned back towards Quin, “But keep going, it looks good. Sergeant Dodds should be back to finish helping you guys out any time now.”  
“So he doesn't get out of this since he's the chief's son?” Finn sassed with a raised eyebrow.  
“No Finn, he doesn't, and he's kinda excited to help, in fact as soon as I mentioned Quin was helping, he pretty much volunteered.” Benson tapped Quin on the shoulder.  
“I'm sure it wasn't because of me... I mean...” Quin trailed off as Benson headed to her meeting.  
Rollins and Carisi looked at each other, then Rollins said, “ I think Mini Dodds has a thing for you, it's cute.”  
“Yeah,” Carisi chimed in, “He's been working some serious overtime on pretty much every case you have had this month.” He reached past Quin's shoulder and hung a bulb on the tree, smiling at her.  
“He's hardworking, it's his thing, and his job...” Quin replied as she finished putting up the handful of ornaments in her arms, and turned around, promptly bumping into Sgt Dodds.  
“Sorry, I didn't see you there!” she exclaimed, taking a step back to regain her balance.  
“It's my fault, I shouldn't been so close...” Dodds replied, while looking at Carisi, whose arm was wrapped around Quin's waist, helping her regain balance.  
Finn looked over his newspaper,” I see the prodigal son has returned home at last.” he sassed.  
Dodds stood with both his hands on his hips, “Shouldn't you be helping us, from the Lieutenant's request she did make it clear that everyone should participate.”  
“He's tech support.” Carisi snarked. Dodds looked at him, then Finn, “It would mean a lot to Lieutenant Benson if everyone helped.”  
Finn folded his newspaper and reluctantly joined them. “Here Amanda, take this” Finn pulled the tinsel off of this head and put it on her nose.  
“Gah, Finn!” she groaned. Carisi let out a laugh and let go of Quin's waist.  
“I gotta take a picture of this!” Carisi's face lit up as he took out his phone and quickly snapped several semi candid shots of a grumpy faced Rollins, whose eyes clearly indicated she was secretly having a good time.  
Quin smiled and went back to decorating the tree as Carisi, Rollins, and Finn continued goofing around. She untangled the lights, while trying not to look at Dodds, who over the last few weeks took more interest in spending time with her. Normally, he'd come in immediately after Barba had scoffed at one of her ideas for a case, and need to have her catch him up to speed on a case fact, that both knew he could easily get from the case file. He's not interested in me, he's just diligent about the case. I mean, you can't become a sergeant and not keep up with case facts, even if your dad is the chief of sex crimes... she thought to herself.  
Dodds's voice broke through her thoughts, “ I guess tree decorating is not a job for the everyday SVU detective, huh?”  
Quin nodded. She plugged in the lights, checking each bulb to ensure they were well lit. “True, but is isn't in my jurisdiction either, yet, thanks to Carisi, here I am.”  
“You couldn't say no to that puppy dog face thing he does? It's okay, he has a flirty face, works for him, you're here after all...”  
“It wasn't his face, which is nice and all, but rather the sincere plea he made in my office this morning at 8am. He brought cannoli, I'm not wonder-woman, Sergeant.” Quin joked. She was thankful they weren't being forced to bring up a case to have any kind of conversation. Anymore.  
“Funny, Carisi said you really didn't celebrate the holidays much, yet you seem to have a solid grasp on intermediate to advanced tree decorating.” A smile formed on his lips.  
“Oh, I didn't when I was a kid, but when I was in uni- sorry- college, um, I worked part time in a grocery that held annual Christmas tree decorating contests. Naturally, since I was the one woman, they chucked a box of decorations at me, and told me to have at it.”  
An awkward expression played out on his face, the subtle look that conveyed, Why did I ask that? I brought up a lousy memory that she didn't want to share...  
“It's fine, really sergeant-” she began.  
“-I shouldn't have pried.” he crossed his arms over his chest, clear he was still uncomfortable with his comment.  
“It wasn't prying, honest. I'm fine. I'm not as delicate as I look.” She joked back. His eyes grew larger, then he looked away.  
“You? Delicate, after saving Barba from those thugs outside your office a couple of nights ago? Ha, you're a lawyer slash barrister slash ninja, Montgomery, not really delicate-” Carisi hopped between them and looked at Dodds, who was poorly concealing a blush, “Wha? I'm not interrupting anything, am I?” his blue eyes dancing as he looked at both of them, and winked at Quin.  
“NO!” she blurted out.  
“No...” Dodds followed in suit.  
Carisi's smile was beaming, his dimples perfectly displayed, “Holy crap, you two, if you two ever dated, Barba would have an actual cow, from his own body, figuratively or literally, which ever one fits better, but,” he swung his arm around Quin's shoulders, Dodds gave him look, “like that's not going on here, right?”  
“Um...” Quin paused and gave Dodds an SOS look. HELP  
“No, I mean, with work and everything, along with Montgomery's schedule, and the fact that it would...really not be appropriate...” Dodds trailed off, shifting his feet.  
“It would never, ever get a sign off from well...anyone.” Quin replied as she went back to decorating the tree.  
“Hey guys, I'm starving” Carisi emphasized the last word, while giving Rollins and Finn a cheeky look, the glimmer in his baby blue eyes flickering in amusement.  
“Yeah, me too. Still eating for two...a kid on the way will do that to you.” Rollins gave a knowing look to Carisi as she gave her bump a pat.  
“I hate trees” Finn said as the three of them left the station, but not without Carisi giving Dodds a very expressive thumbs up, “You two are the experts here, we're just getting in the way, 'night Quin!”  
“Goodnight” Rollins and Finn tacked on as the elevator door closed in front of them.  
Dodds looked at Quin, “Did they just leave us with this?”  
“Yes, yes they did...”  
Both of them let out a sigh. Quin reached for the string of lights and began to slowly wrap it around the tree, as Dodds went over to the other side to take them from her.  
“Thank you”  
“No problem” his hand momentarily grazed hers and she pulled back, knocking down part of the lights.  
“Gah, sorry” she replied as she bent down and picked up the lights, and began to string them up again. She walked around the tree until she bumped into him.  
He let out a chuckle, “You don't have the best hand eye coordination, do you?” he teased. Her face gave a tell all expression as she held her hands up in mock defense, “It has been nuts with Barba in recovery from the attack, and with taking on his case load in addition to mine, I'm exhausted. Don't worry, he'll be back in a couple of days, but my sense of duty has brought me here, next to you, while we are the only two people here on a Saturday evening decorating a tree he won't notice.”  
“Does he really take you for granted like that?” Dodds' tone rung with genuine concern.  
“No, he's not focused on a tree, but his job. It's the person he is and I have tons of respect for him, even if he thinks my Yale law degree is worthless...”  
“Harvard man I take it?”  
“In the worst way.” Quin chuckled, “So thanks for giving up another Saturday night to do...this...” she held up the last bit of the lights.  
“I really didn't have anything going on, I mean..”  
“Besides a couple of dates with stunning women, or men, or both?” she cajoled him.  
“Hardly, and women.” he gave her a look.  
“Good to know, although, someone with your...”  
“-my what?” he inquired. He handed her tea to her and watched her take a sip.  
“-physical stature, well, I mean, um...” she stammered.  
He moved closer towards her, she fought the instinct to step back, his nose was almost touching hers.  
“With this job, and even before in anti-crime, there aren't really a lot of women, like, you, who understands how it can wear on a person.”  
“I respectfully doubt that, but, Benson has been kind to you, and with what your father does, you could date whoever you wished.”  
“I guess, I could, or I can wait for the right person to come along, really take my time to get to know them, respect them for who they are, what they believe, that kind of a thing. I prefer it that way.”  
“So you're taking the medieval courtship route, without the rampant misogyny then?”  
Both of them laughed, the air between them less tense.  
“Not courtship, but a substantial relationship, long term.” He looked into her eyes again and noticed the small gold ring in each of her blue irises.  
“That sounds, ideal.” she softly said, his right arm wrapped around her waist with caution. She felt herself flinch, this intimacy taking her back to last year, around this time, still in England, still alone and diving deeper into work, licking away the wounds of rejection. He started to pull his arm back, but she held it in place with her left hand.  
“Look, I've kinda had a piss poor dating life, it's been pretty non traditional, that happens when you graduate uni at 16, but um...” she closed her eyes, “I want to get to know you better.” she squished the last bit of the sentence together out of nerves. Releasing his arm from her grip, she felt him pull her closer, her chest against his, practically so close they could share the same breath.  
“I know I said that we'd really never be able to date when Carisi was heckling us, but I do want to get to know you better too.” he reached up and brushed away a stray strand of her hair.  
“Well, we're in agreement about that...” his kiss interrupting her statement. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. He presented as a stereotypical alpha cop, the strong, dominant sergeant that took charge in every moment, but a certain gentleness radiated from him. He had a delicate touch that she was sure few women had experienced, and found it refreshing and inviting. He felt safe, and she wanted that in her life.  
Quin pulled away from the kiss, “yup, definitely in agreement on that one.” Again, they both laughed.  
“So, a friend of mine got tickets to an art exhibit, and while I'm not completely lost in the art world, I can't tell a Rembrandt from a...”  
“I'd love to go, when is it?”  
“Tomorrow actually, I know, last minute, but the tickets are good for tomorrow only.”  
“I don't have to be in the office tomorrow, so tomorrow works for me. It's one of the few plus sides to not having Barba randomly barging into my office, but I have to ask, what took you so long to work up the courage to ask me out?”  
Dodds face blushed, “Huh, that obvious, huh?”  
“It did take you five months to talk to me about anything non work related, I just thought you were dedicated to the job, which isn't a bad thing...”  
He sighed, “I thought that Carisi was more your type, and I didn't want to cause any issues, in case he was.” he wrapped both arms around her.  
Quin blushed, “Carisi's more friend material, he's lovely and I enjoy spending time with him, but he's never hit on me. I think the fact that I'm as tall as him seems to be a deterrent, that and the one time he did attempt to hit on me, Barba stared daggers into his soul.”  
“So, I should be extra cautious around Barba then?”  
“As your council, I would advise it.”  
“Duly noted,” he looked away from her, his eyes fixed in a somber look.  
“Something wrong?” she rested her hands on his shoulders.  
“No, no um...honestly?”  
“It is the best policy.” she quipped.  
“I genuinely thought you were gonna say no.”  
“What?!”  
“I, I mean it.” he stammered as he let her go and turned away.  
“Okay, I don't mean to diminish your concern, but you do own a mirror, right?”  
“Yes” he turned back around, “but your the smartest woman I've ever asked out. I've wanted to date intelligent women in the past, but they only ever see the exterior.” he pointed at his body.  
“What's the point of a nice home if the lights aren't on upstairs?” Quin grabbed the star and handed it to him, “I don't care what you look like, that doesn't matter to me, but I am sorry that other women have assumed things about you because of it. However, due to their shallow perceptions of you, in the grand scheme of things, it does work in my favor.” She smiled, “Lets get this tree finished, then maybe grab something for dinner?”  
“I could do that, but that's our first date then, right?”  
“I wasn't keeping count, but, sure.”  
He put the star on the top of the tree and they both gathered their things, walking hand in hand towards the elevator.  
“I think we can give ourselves a pat on the back, right?” he asked her.  
“Or another kiss?” she replied, leaning against him.  
“That's a very smart idea.” he put his arm around her waist and kissed her.  
The elevator door closed with a ding.


	2. Art Exhibition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's first date time as Quin Montgomery and Sgt. Dodds navigate through the harsh world of art galleries and their respective date jitters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna keep making this thing go...

Quin stood in front of her bedroom mirror-and had been for the last twenty minutes- glancing at the various clothing combinations she created. One made her look frumpy, the second one, pregnant, Rollins would love to see me in that she mused, and the other five she conceptually thought were acceptable, were duds in their execution. Worry and regret intermingled in her mind as she pulled off the over sized tunic that her colleague Alisha had swore up and down was cute on her. Why did she accept his invitation? The kiss he planted on her last night played in her mind, along with the lovely time they had together during dinner shortly after decorating. That's why.  
While she wanted to blame her physical stature, she was tall but fuller built, she knew her internal crisis sprung from her thrifty nature. I really could have splurged on one knockout outfit, gah, now I'm proving Barba right...ugh she chided herself as she put together one last outfit combination that seemed acceptable to her: a pair of skinny black pants, a semi sheer button down blouse with a tie neck, a black open front cardigan she had knitted for herself, and a pair of black ankle boots, with flat heels. I look like I got beat up by a discount bin sale, if he doesn't run away seeing me in this, well...that's gotta be a good sign, right? She thought as she caught a glimpse of Lou's urn sitting on her dresser. Lou, her late and beloved ragdoll had been shot over a year ago, and his memory still was tender to her heart. She blinked away a tear and walked over to it.  
“Hey, so um...I hope everything is amazing in cat heaven,” she took a deep breath, “this is my first date since coming back to the states, so if you want to work any kind of 'he'll totally love you for you even though you are so, so weird' kinda magic, I'd appreciate it.” In the earring dish next to it, she pulled out pair of silver star earrings and put them on, and heard the apartment door buzz.  
“In a moment!” she called out from her bedroom to the door. She walked briskly to the front door, but took a moment to take in her apartment. She thanked herself for cleaning up a couple of days ago, before Barba's attack and being thrusted into his role while he recovered. He wouldn't be seeing the inside of it for more than a few moments, but the manner he carried himself with implied someone who valued order and control.  
Her hand gripped the door handle and twisted it, opening the door.  
Seeing him standing there, with a genuine smile on his face was seductive in a new way for her. His eyes were bright, and showed his interest in being there, at that moment, spending time with her.  
“You look amazing...” he greeted her, still standing in her doorway.  
No, actually, you look amazing she thought as she saw his outfit. He wasn't wearing his usual suit and tie combination, this outfit was slightly more low key but still polished. The navy dress shirt he had on made his eyes pop, and his slacks, a deep charcoal color were well tailored to his figure. She realized they were exactly the same height and felt worried he'd find it unacceptable. Other men in the past, the two or three she had dated, always felt unnerved by her stature, but the Sergeant wasn't paying attention to it, so she brushed it out of her mind.  
“Um, so do you...I mean it, blue is a very good color on you.” Quin replied as she fetched her bag and her coat. She sat her back down on the ground between her feet, but saw him step forward and help her put her coat on. It was a small and intimate gesture that spoke volumes about him as a person, at least to her. “Thanks”  
“No problem, don't want you catching cold, you should grab a scarf too. I forgot mine at home.”  
She smiled and pulled two scarves off her chair, a gray one and a tan one, and found herself tying the tan one around his neck, and contemplating kissing him again, feeling his chest close to hers; a small part just wanting to pull him into her apartment, forget about the exhibit and release every inhibition dating forced on her, yet she looked at him and finished tying the scarf.  
His hands found hers and rested on them, for a moment. “Thanks for the scarf.”  
She pulled her hands out from under his, “Thanks for the weather update.” she smiled and put her purse on, over her body and began to walk down the hallway.  
She felt Dodds gently hold on to her arm and she slowed her pace, “Sorry, I forget that I walk kinda fast sometimes...it helps me keep up with Barba when he's in a frantic state at work.” she explained.  
“So, pretty much everyday you work with the guy? How does he walk faster than you, you have the longer legs?” Dodds teased.  
“I didn't realize you were taking inventory of my legs...” she joked back.  
His eyes widened, “It, it wasn't like that...”  
She patted his right arm, “I'm teasing, so where is this exhibit at?”  
“Midtown, don't worry, I'll drive.”  
“Works for me, and thank you for the invite. I don't really have anyone to take to an art show here. Back home, I could have roped Alisha into it, or Ronnie, but its been hard for me to really make friends with the hours I work.”  
“Ronnie, huh, ex-boyfriend?”  
“Oh no, no no no, Ronnie is a detective in the London police that I used to work with...” she saw the Sergeant's concern in his eyes, “...he's 65 and practically like a father figure to me. He's not my type, and I'm not his...old friend, I promise.”  
“Alisha on the hand?”  
“She's a CP, sorry, crown prosecutor, and she's one of my good friends. If they could ever get out here to visit me, chances are they would think I'm paying you to date me.”  
Dodd's eyebrows furrowed, “Don't sound like good friends to me...” he opened the door to her apartment complex and let her walk out first, then took her hand in his.  
“No, it's not that, they just never saw me date, and assuming how I look and whom society thinks I should date based off of that, you're pretty much out of my league.”  
“No I'm not.” he opened the car door for her and let her get in, then walked around to the driver's side and got in. Her body language reflected being uncomfortable and he picked up on it, “How about we just continue to get to know each other better, that's what we want right?”  
“Of course, it's just one of those things I think about way too often. It's me.”  
He looked at her and started the car, “I won't tell you to stop thinking about it, since from personal experience that does the exact opposite, but I will say, when I first saw you walk into SVU, you were pretty, but what really drew me to you, was how intelligent you were, and not like Carisi who can rattle off facts like no one's business, but how emotionally intelligent you are. You and the Lieutenant are both very emotionally smart. I'm kinda jealous to be fair.” a smile crossed over his lips and Quin reached over and patted his thigh.  
“Thank you.”  
“No problem.” he put the car into drive and they were off.

 

Both of them entered the gallery, each surrendering their ticket to the front doorman. Dodds took their coats and got them situated as Quin glanced at her phone. There was a text message from Carisi, which was comprised of 23 emojis; 17 of which were various kinds of smiley faces and the rest a question about a case he was studying in law school. The other six were emojis pleading for her help, aka prayer hands, and at the end, a firecracker.  
I'll get back to you later detective, this is my time now. She thought as she blacked the screen on her phone. She had only taken Barba's job for three days now, but it was illuminating to see why he didn't have much of a social life. The job clung to him like a mistress that refused to see the end of an affair. Quin pondered if Barba consoled himself like she did when it came to dating; thinking that the solitude lead to greater self awareness about her place in humanity, that no one would really ever understand her like she did.  
The sergeant returned to her side, “Everything good, you look lost in thought?” his left arm gently resting against her lower back, making her feel warm and fuzzy like last night.  
“Uh, yeah, just...nothing” she trailed off and looked away from his eyes.  
He leaned into her ear, “I do recall from last night that honesty is the best policy...” he whispered, his breath warm on her earlobe.  
She blushed and looked at him, “I was just thinking about how I'd tell myself that it was okay to be alone, not to have anyone interested in me, but here I am, with you, very much so not alone.” her heart skipped a beat as he pulled her a bit closer.  
“I used to do the same thing, but now I don't have to.” he answered, and they walked over to a Picasso that another couple was staring at. They each took several moments to individually contemplate it, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw worry in his eyes. Her right arm gently interlocked with his left and she took a moment to indulge in resting her head on his shoulder.  
“Blue period huh? I really should have paid more attention in college, during my art appreciation class.” he softly spoke to her, his tone telling her he was okay with her head on his shoulder.  
“It reflected a profound period of loss and solitude for the artist,” she began, speaking equally as soft as he had a moment ago, “he was melancholic about where his life was at, who he was, what he was attempting to express. He had a major bout of depression, this piece was meant to express not only his depression, but his sorrow with the world he saw around him.”  
The other couple glared at her and left, their expressions indicating they were not happy with her summation.  
“I think you hit a nerve with those two...”he trailed off.  
“Sometimes hearing that loss is acceptable and that a person has to struggle in life is upsetting to people, but without loss and feeling despair, the euphoria on the other end has no meaning, it has nothing to compare it too. Picasso did overcome his depression, and his later works reflect his evolution as an artist, an evolution that we all make in our own ways in our separate lives.”  
“See, that's the intelligence I love about you.” he added, as his head rested on hers.  
I love about you his words danced in her head, her heart elated they came out of his mouth.  
“Thank you for noticing, we should let someone else get a view of this one.” she lifted her head off of his shoulder and they made their way over to another grouping of paintings.  
“I haven't caught sight of Ethan and Shane yet...” Dodds announced.  
“Ethan and shane?” Quin asked.  
“My friend and his partner, they own this gallery and gave me the tickets. I'm pretty sure they have a bet going on right now if I'd even show up...” His sentence was cut off by two men, a short and stout red head and a tall well built blonde walking up to them,  
“Well I'm out five bucks, how are you Doddsy?” the redhead asked him.  
“Hey, hey Ethan!” Dodds happily said, while giving Ethan a hug. Quin found it refreshing he was relaxed with his friends.  
“Glad you could actually make it, and who is this?” the blonde man inquired while looking at Quin.  
“This is ADA Quin Montgomery, she works with Manhattan SVU.” Dodds' face wore a certain kind of pride that she hadn't seen before on anyone who dated her.   
“Oh, well look at you, bringing in the big guns, nice to meet you!” Ethan's sincerity was welcomed as they shook hands.  
“So tell me, did you have to drag him in here, kicking in screaming?” Shane joked.  
“Hardly, Sgt Dodds has been looking forward to the event.”  
“Good, good, oh!” Shane spotted an interested buyer, “duty calls, see you both later!” he bolted over towards the man.  
“I have to say, I'm surprised you came, normally work takes you away from these kinds of things.” Ethan tacked on.  
“I've been busy, so has Montgomery, but its been good to get out there.” Dodds said as Ethan patted him on the back.  
“Well, I've got to mingle,” Ethan looked at Quin, “but I totally wanna pick your brain about this guy!”  
“Of course.” Quin eyed Dodds, whose cheeks were flushed.  
“See you guys later” Ethan walked off and mixed into the crowd.  
“He always tease you like that?” Quin asked, linking her arm with his once more.  
“I've know Ethan since my days in anti-crime. I respect him for being out and owning it, but also for really doing what he wants, and with who he really wants.”  
“He's happy and it shows.” Quin commented as they were about to turn around.  
“Well, hello there!” an all too familiar voice called out. Both of them faced towards the direction of the voice and her heart sank.  
Hank Abraham, deputy commissioner of Public Information had a smug, neat smile on his face. Dodds stepped away from Quin, breaking their linked arms and nodded as the shorter, older man walked towards them.  
“ADA Montgomery, I see Barba let you out of your gilded cage, wonder what you had to do to get that?” Abraham asked as his head tilted to the side.  
“Excuse you?” Dodds stern tone caught both Quin and Abraham off guard.  
“Sgt Dodds, good to see you as well, does your dad know your here with ADA Montgomery? I wonder how he'd feel to find out?”  
“It's a treat to see you too, Abraham.” Quin calmly replied as her heart began to beat out of her chest. This was a worst case scenario; other couples in the NYPD had been exposed by Abraham and it usually meant they called it off, but she was determined to keep her cool, if only Dodds could reign his in, his body language was screaming rage, whether he knew it or not.  
“Of course it is, tell me, for the press release that 1PP wants me to do, how many guys jumped Barba?”  
Quin took in a cleansing breath, “Barba fought off two of the five guys,” she looked at Dodds who was wearing a steely expression, “before I got there and fought off the other three, by myself. Thankfully the Sgt here was able to arrest them before it got out of hand.” She looked at Dodds, whose eyes began to soften.  
“Oh yes, your amazonian strength, a couple of those guys had bad black eyes,” he chuckled, “watch out Mikey, she got a mean right hook!” his laughter began to overpower the intimate conversations that the other gallery guests were having. Quin felt dozens of eyes glaring at her and Dodds, making her feel uncomfortable and she sensed that Dodds was struggling to keep his anger in check.  
“Barba could have been seriously hurt if Quin- ADA Montgomery- hadn't intervened and bravely defended him.” Dodds spoke in a calm voice with a eerie like tone to it.  
Abraham's eyes lit up as he took in their expressions.  
“Oh, I see, well I'll let you kids get back to the art, but I'll tell your dad you were having a great time with Montgomery, oh, and that you two make a cute little duo.” He winked at them and turned back around, ignoring them.  
Quin glanced at Dodds hands, both of which were bunched into fists with white knuckles. She stood before him, her hand touching his chest reflexively, “Hey, how about we get some fresh air?” her soft voice asked, trying to soothe him.  
He nodded and they gathered their coats and left the gallery. As they walked down the street, she could feel his seething anger vibrating in the space around him, and took his hand in hers. The chilly winter air hit her face hard, so hard it felt like a knife nicking her on the cheek, but she kept up with his pace, which was quicker than Barba's.  
“How about we head inside there for a moment?” she asked as she pointed at a hole in the wall looking coffee shop.  
“Yeah.” Dodds replied, looking at her with softened eyes.  
Both of them made their way inside and found a small wooden table to sit at. She pulled out a chair for him, he looked at her, and she gestured for him to sit down, which he did.  
“I'm gonna grab a coffee, want anything?” she asked, setting her purse down and pulling out her wallet.  
“No, Quin, I can get my own...” he trailed off, reaching for his wallet.  
“Too late, my wallet is out, its on me.” She waved off his attempt to pay and walked over to the counter, ordered two cups of coffee and brought them over, along with every combination needed to sweeten them. He looked up at her as she sat the coffee down and smiled at her.  
“Here, drink” she commanded, feeling his anger dissipating and finding relief from it.  
He took a long sip and sat it down, a kind expression painted itself on his face.  
“You okay?” Quin asked, her hand resting on his forearm.  
He sighed, “Yeah, Abraham and I don't get along...”  
“I see, if it makes you feel better, I don't like the guy either...”  
“I shouldn't have been short with him, with my tone, now he's gonna give you and Barba grief, along with running his mouth about us to my dad.” His eyes widened and he took another sip.  
Quin stroked his forearm, “Barba can handle Abraham, and so can I, so don't worry about us. He's just a short little lonely man who probably was jealous you had a date to exhibit.”  
Dodds eyes lit up, “You really think so? I'm just a sergeant, I mean, the guy is way more successful than I am.”  
“Sergeants aren't that common, and he was jealous that you're happy and he isn't, I sensed it from him. That, and he tried to make a pass at me during last year's holiday party, and I may not have gently shut him down. That, and Carisi then proceeded to spill egg nog on the guy...in front of everyone.”  
Dodds laughed,“So me being with you set him off?”   
Quin laughed, “Maybe, he was giving me creeper eyes...” she shuddered as he held on to her free hand, “...and he's the kind of guy that needs constant praise to feel secure, you don't. You recognize where you are, where you're going, and maybe even who you are going there with?” she smiled at him.  
“Thanks, again, for everything, sorry about getting...”  
“You weren't wrong to be mad, but I knew you needed to get out of there, so let's just sit here for a while and get to know each other better, that's the game plan, right?”  
“Yes, it is.” He leaned over the table and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.  
“What's that for?”  
“For being a good person, and for putting up with Abraham.”  
“Well, I'm gonna need like several dozen more of those...or can I cash them in for a larger prize?” she coyly asked as his face turned into a deep shade of crimson, “Not here of course, but maybe later on down the line?”  
“Yes, yes you can.” he replied, looking down at his tie. “assuming my old man doesn't loose it once he knows I'm dating an ADA...”  
“Well, he'll just have to never find out.”  
Dodds groaned, “That's the thing, he will eventually, I'm not good at hiding things from him, I am the dutiful son you know.”  
“Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there, but in the mean time,” she paused as she struggled to find the words to express her thoughts, “ I am worried about the extra workload you've been taking on, I know you were doing it to help me, and I am appreciative of it, but I don't want you getting burnt out. Carisi and Benson were worried so much about it that they told me you didn't socialize with them after the last case, the one with that 15 year old girl. You shouldn't be working more hours than me, just saying.” a shy smile crossed over her face.  
“I just needed to be alone, work through it, you know what I mean. Great work on prosecuting that guy though, Barba said you got the max sentence, and Carisi said your case was great.”  
“Sonny Carisi is my legal fanboy, well, when he isn't worshiping Barba that is. I think we just enjoys seeing me prosecute since most of my experience isn't with US law.”  
Dodds brows wore a confused expression, “What do you mean?” he took another sip of his coffee.  
“Well I suppose this is where I give you my entire life story, isn't it?”  
He glanced at his watch, “I've got time and excellent company.”  
“Well, I am American, I was born here, but my parents put me up for adoption when I was two, then I was adopted by a British couple when I was 3, but they died in a car accident seven months after adopting me, so technically I was a ward of the British state, and lived in an orphanage until I was able to legally fight to be emancipated at 16.”  
“You became a legal adult at 16, and you said that's also when you graduated college?” his voice reflected his disbelief.  
“Yeah, I know, I sound ridiculous, but I had to...it made it possible for me to leave England and try to find my birth parents.”  
“Oh, I see...”  
“Well, I was a barrister for about a decade before I came back the first time, I was a CP like my friend Alisha I mentioned earlier. But something about needing to find them, it dug at me until I couldn't take it any more...” her eyes began to glisten with held back tears, she wiped them away, “sorry, every time I bring them up, I just get emotional. So, I came here, tested into law school and found myself working for a DA in New York as a student clerk, and he thought it would be funny to have me take the bar exam on as a bet he made with some judges on a drunken whim.”  
“You can't be serious, he just made you take the test?”  
“I wasn't forced, like with a gun at my head or anything, but rather, I really wanted to prove that as a woman, my abilities weren't a joke. I took it, and I passed, and he paid my test fee and shut up about it. Eventually, Barba heard about it and the rest is history.”  
“So what took you back to England?”  
She felt herself freeze as she thought back to getting the letter from the British government; they requested her services due to her past and experience, and that the crown wouldn't settle for anything other than a yes. But also, she flashed to her abduction, to Lt. Declan Murphy kidnapping her, her shoulder hurt thinking about the bullet he had lodged into it, and into Lou, killing him. All of those, also reasons for her to leave.  
“Hey, what is it?” Dodds moved over next to her, feeling a need to be closer to her. “I don't mean to pry, but you've been spacing out, staring at nothing.”  
I must be giving away too much, he's reading me like an open book Quin mused as she pulled herself out of her mental history and looked at him.  
“I need you to keep what I'm about to tell you to yourself. No one else knows about it, clear?”  
“Yeah, of course.” his voice replied in a gentle tone, his arm around her.  
“I went back to England for a year, a year ago, to prosecute a man in charge of one of the largest child prostitution rings...” her voice cracked, “...because I lived there during it.”  
“Did he, you?”  
She shook her head, “No, I wasn't, because during its duration I was either too old for his clientele or it was after my time there...but,” again she flashed back, to a very early memory, feeling the man's hands on her thighs, his ragged breath breathing into her ear, her younger body fighting to get away from him, but unable to, “...but I had to go back, I was the only person that could be sent in to get him to talk, I wore a wire, went in there, and was able to get a confession out of him. I put him away for life. He'll never hurt any children, ever again.”  
He pulled her into a warm, gentle embrace, and just held her. It was like nothing she had experienced before. Other men she had dated would have brought up their own struggles, trying to outshine hers, but instead, the Sgt just wanted to comfort her.  
“Hey, anything you don't want to tell me, you don't have too.” His soft voice curled into her ears, making her feel safe and wanted.  
“T-thank you...I still haven't found a way to tell them either, they thought I went back to take a year off from prosecuting. I see it in their faces, they don't completely trust me again...I...I took their trust from them and smashed it...” She felt a sob building in her throat, and swallowed hard to suppress it.  
“Well, if they give you any crap about it, I'll make it clear they need to stop...you okay?”  
She looked at him, and his hands found his way to her face, gently caressing her cheeks.   
“Yeah...yes, um...I'm alright. I just didn't think we were going to get into the intense stuff right away, um, I mean, here I am just crushing this good mood with my horrid childhood...” she let out a small, nervous laugh.  
“Mine isn't as bad, but...” both of them jumped up as their individual phones chimed. Soon Quin was listening to Carisi freak out over a case, and the fact that Barba was back from the hospital, against doctor's orders, while Dodds was hearing Benson brief him on the situation with SVU.  
“I'll be there, as soon as possible Carisi.” Quin urgently answered as she picked up her bag and coat.  
“I'm on my way Lieutenant.” Dodds replied in his even tone. They hung up from their respective calls and looked at each other.  
“I guess my childhood will have to wait...” he trailed off.  
“Thank you, for listening.”  
His nose touched hers as he hugged her, “No, thank you, again, for this, date.”  
“You're welcome.” she kissed him on the cheek and they both left the cafe to take care of business.


	3. Fragments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SVU's cases cut into Quin and Mike's date, but both are pulled into their roles, while trying to hide their relationship from their peers.

Carisi, Rollins, Finn and Benson trickled into Barba's office. The shorter Cuban man was back from leave even with the faint outline of a black eye lingering on his face, pacing about behind his desk, one hand holding on to a file and the other running through his short brown hair.  
“Where's Dodds, Montgomery, I asked that everyone be here.” his voice curtly shot out.  
“I called Quin, she says she's on her way wi-”  
“-Dodds just answered my call too, he'll be here soon.” Benson interjected into the younger detective's sentence. The expression she shot at him was a kind warning not to give away the fact that everyone had an inkling that Dodds and Montgomery were out together. Finn and Rollins had filled her in on the three of them bailing last night and leaving them alone to figure things out. Carisi's eyes answered her expression, communicating that he understood her.  
“Good, I've called you all in because the case at hand involves one of the men who,” he sighed, “attacked me earlier this week-”  
Dodds and Montgomery walked into his office mid sentence, both wearing semi formal attire and respectively looking out of character.  
“Sorry I'm late.” Dodds offered up as he shut the door behind Quin, who raised her hand in a small wave to everyone.  
“Yes, me too, I was working on case law to help a barrister over seas, my phone was on airplane mode.”  
Barba raised an eyebrow in suspision, “Always get dressed up when you skype your friends back home, Montgomery?”  
Quin glanced down at her attire, not realizing that to them, she looked nearly as polished as she did for work. “I was at an art show in midtown earlier this morning, I didn't have time to change before my skype chat.”  
Barba smirked at her, then Dodds, and went back to his earlier statement, “Now that we are all actually here, one of the men who attacked me last week was found murdered in his jail cell.”  
“Could it be gang related?” Dodds inquired. Barba was able to mentally look down on the taller sergeant, yet physically look up at him.  
“It isn't, he was found with a note on him addressed to me.”  
“What does the note say?” Carisi's concern for Barba apparent to Quin.  
“It was written as a confession for other crimes, but the supposed dates of these crimes, he was in jail.”  
“So why call us? This sounds like something for major crimes, not SVU.” Fin tacked on.  
“Here, “ Barba held out the note sealed in an evidence bag and Benson took it. “Do those look they are outside your line of work?” The rest of them gathered around her.  
“On december 4th, I sexually assaulted two small girls because they wanted me to.”  
“Disgusting, Dodds looked away, “who writes this crap?”  
“Some sick freak, that's who.” Benson answered his question, “was there anything else we could get from it?”  
“Nothing else was found with it. That list of crimes is the only clue.” Barba sighed, crossing his arms.  
“These could have happened anywhere, I mean, nationally or internationally. We can't rule out a single crime that fits these descriptions.” Rollins added.  
“Rollins is right,” Quin gently said, “We can't rule out the criminals being outside of the states. I'll try to get in touch with my contacts back home, I know it'll only be the kingdom, but its better than nothing.” She took out her phone and took a photo of the list, then grabbed her bag and headed down the hall towards her office.  
“Dodds, you should stay here, keep an eye on Barba and Montgomery.” Benson looked at Barba, whose face illustrated his dislike of the her suggestion.  
“I should be out on the field, with you and the others-” he started to protest, but her face stayed firm. He may have only been with SVU for a few months, but his ability to read her was honed well enough he knew she meant business.  
“The rest of us can hold down the investigation, and you have the most experience with security detail, it's the best thing to do now.” Benson added on, with a small smile on her face.  
“Understood.” Dodds replied, checking the time on his phone. 3:45pm, him and Quin should have been having drinks with Ethan and Shane, but he took a small bit of comfort knowing that Benson thought him best to watch over Barba and Montgomery.  
“ The rest of you, with me, we need to start filling out inter-state requests for crimes fitting the description of those on this note, for all 49 other states.” her voice hung with weariness  
“Wait, all 49 states?!” the three detectives cried out in unison.  
“Guys, I don't want to hear it, ok? We're going to figure this out and keep everyone as safe as possible.”  
“Yes.” the three replied as they began to leave Barba's office.  
“Funny how Dodds gets out of-” Fin began, but Benson's look stopped his thought dead in its tracks.  
“We'll keep in touch.” She looked at Barba with her trademark caring eyes, and saw him nod his head as she left. Once the door shut behind her, Barba turned his attention to Dodds, who felt completely out of place and looked like it.  
“Sergeant, please take this over to Montgomery, it has a linguistic breakdown of the letter. I recall her having experience with linguistics in uni, I want her to glance over it, see if there is something else beyond what the interns in 1PP can get from it.”  
“Sure thing.” Dodds took the notes and left Barba's office. He walked down the hallway and saw Quin in her office, sitting at her desk, talking to someone via skype. He carefully entered her office as to not make any noise and heard her worried tone.  
“Yes, Ronnie, I need you to check Interpol and anything else the British secret service may have on it, yes, the whole list. I know I'm being an arse, but this was given to my boss, his safety is in danger. Yes, I know I've been working too hard, but someone had to take over while he was on leave. Yes, Ronnie, I was the best candidate.” She softly smiled, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.  
“ Alright love, I'll get on with it. When are you gonna come back and visit us, it's been almost a year. Alisha's convinced you've up and gotten married off to the first fella or lass you've met, but I think you're too swamped to make time for us...” Ronnie's tone had a mock sense of hurt in it.  
Dodds raised an eyebrow, almost wanting to walk up behind Quin and introduce himself as her boyfriend, but he fought the urge to do so. He didn't want to come off as a domineering jerk, which he knew he could do to people who didn't know him. Usually, it worked in his favor out in the field, but in her office, with her friend, not so much.  
Are we even boyfriend and girlfriend? He asked himself as he heard her reply,  
“In due time, I've got to go Ronnie.”  
“Bye love, keep safe.”  
“I will.” Quin ended the chat and looked up from her tablet. Her face wore a tired looked, like talking to Ronnie mentally drained her. He really is like her dad, no reason to be worried about him.  
“How about this for a first date?” he said, as he handed her the note.  
“I thought we weren't keeping track of dates, and in the event that we were, technically dinner last night was our first, right?” she teased as she took the note from him, “what's this?”  
“Its a linguistic breakdown of the letter, apparently he thought you should have it.”  
Quin sighed, “he's really not a fan of trusting any work the 1PP interns do. Normally he'd have to trust it, but since his girl genius lawyer with training wheels also happens to have a CV with linguistics coursework, he wants me to double check it.”  
“He does want you to look at it, sorry, I'm just the messenger.” Dodds raised his hands up in defense.  
Quin took in a breath, “Sorry, I didn't mean to be mean, sometimes I feel like I'm his walking encyclopedia, and other times I feel like a crystal ball he shakes until he gets the answer he wants. It kinda makes me wish I was a little bit dumber.” Her eyes began to skim over it, as Dodds sat down in one of the empty chairs on the other side of her desk, leaning close to her and taking in how her eyes expanded, the gold ring taking in the words as the blue sea of her irises moved about. He found it mesmerizing in a way he couldn't even begin to articulate, and felt a slight sadness for a moment.  
“Intriguing...” she trailed off, barely saying it loud enough for him to hear.  
“What is?” he asked, getting up and walking over to her side of the desk, leaning over her chair and resting his strong hands on her shoulders.  
Quin felt how warm they were and fought the urge to ask him for a shoulder massage, even though she needed it after the week she had.  
“Look at how these words carry the same local syntax, but this part is vastly different. Even the cadences of these sentences is greatly different than those above it.”  
“Meaning it could have been written by two different people?” He took a guess at it, praying he didn't sound idiotic to her.  
“Perhaps, but the handwriting is the same, those interns picked up on that in the handwriting analysis on the back, but, the list of crimes could have been dictated to the scribe by another person. Also, the way these crimes are dated, it seems like a record versus someone boasting about it.”  
“Good eye, I'll let the Lieutenant know, It could be a record that other members of his gang committed.” his hands left her shoulders, the cool air in the room causing her to shiver a bit.  
“You okay?” he asked as he began to text Benson.  
“Yes, it's just chilly in here. I'm fine.” she pulled her cardigan tighter around herself.  
“I knew I should have worn a sport coat...” he trailed off as his text sent to Benson.  
“...I'm okay, honest. Usually Barba has the offices roasting hot, so I don't need a heavier sweater, but since I've been calling the shots, I dropped the heat. He was on to something, these windows do not retain heat well, I just thought he hated winter.”  
“He does, from what Carisi has told me about him, every morning he comes in muttering about how awful the weather is.” Dodds chuckled.  
“I'm sorry I had a bad cover story, usually I don't have to think of one.” she began, but he patted her shoulder,  
“Don't worry, I got the feeling that the Lieutenant and Carisi were playing defense for us...I kinda don't know how to feel about it.”  
“Agreed, and honestly, I don't see Carisi giving us grief about inter office relationships since he's been pining over Barba since he got here.”  
“Carisi has a thing for Barba? I would not have guessed that one...”  
“He more or less came out as bi a while back. It's his spot on the spectrum and I'm not going to criticize. We all deserve the right to love who we love. However, with Abraham and what happened at the exhibit earlier, I think it would be safe to keep us, well...just to us.” She looked up at him from her seat.  
“Of course, so far, you're my best kept secret.” He leaned down and wrapped a big hug around her, just as Carisi walked into her office. Both of them flinched and unscrambled their arms as Carisi gave them a look, then smiled like a child getting everything they wanted on Christmas morning.  
He held his arms up, “I won't say a word, scout's honor...”  
“Is that sailor scout honor or boy scout honor?” Quin inquired.  
“Can't it be both? Don't limit me, Montgomery!” Carisi huffed in mock hurt.  
Quin let out a sigh, “Well the one day jig of no one finding out is up.”  
“You are going to keep quiet about this, right detective?” Dodds sternly questioned Carisi.  
“Yeah, of course!” he nervously tacked on, then continued his initial thought, “so...the Lieutenant sent me here to tell you that Dodds is going to be your temporary escort, so I don't think you'll have an issues with that, right?” his grin growing as Quin and Dodds both blushed from embarrassment.  
Well, I'm never going to live this down... Quin thought as she composed herself.  
“Carisi, I'll be fine, the sergeant should be getting back to helping you.” she looked at Dodds whose face agreed her sentiment.  
“No can do, I can't change her mind, and I think it's pretty generous for her to lend him to you for the evening- I didn't mean it like that!” Carisi tacked on the end, his face now turning red.  
“I didn't realize I was property.” Dodds teased, sneaking a tell all glance at Quin, who bit her cheek to contain her laughter.  
“Well apparently you are, so get used to it? At least I'm well organized, so I won't loose you when I have to give you back to Benson tomorrow, right?”  
Carisi's eyes shined as he watched them continue their flirty banter back and forth.  
“I would deeply regret getting lost at your place. The lieutenant would never allow me to be borrowed again.” Dodds eyes flickered as he started into Quin's eyes.  
“Is that assuming that you'd drop off Barba first, then take me home?”  
Carisi let out a small squeal of delight, “I knew it, I knew it! The Carisi cupid strikes again!” Neither one of them broke their gaze at the other, and continued.  
“We could be rather generous and take Barba to Carisi's, I wouldn't want the perfect cover to go to waste. Carisi has been very accepting of our budding relationship-”  
The banter was crushed by the sound of a window shattering.  
“GET DOWN!” Carisi shouted. Quin ducked behind her desk as Dodds quickly made sure she was safe and ran out of her office with Carisi, both men with their guns out.  
She heard their footsteps in the tense silence, waiting to hear Barba's voice to know that he's okay, but the silence loomed around her. The seconds ticked by, but then she heard another glass pane break, and Dodds call out in pain. She grabbed her bag, ready to utilize it as a weapon, when Dodds came back in, and shut the door behind him.  
“Everything's okay, I promise.” he calmly said, putting his gun away.  
Quin walked over to him and rested her forehead on his, “What happened?” she whispered.  
“Someone threw a couple of bricks into Barba's office windows to scare him, no one's hurt.”  
She glanced down at his right hand and saw several small cuts on it. “You'll have to reevaluate that statement, you're hand is nicked up pretty bad.” She grabbed her scarf and began to apply pressure to it, small bits of blood coloring the grey scarf red.  
“It's just a few small cuts, its fine.” he pleaded as he saw her worried filled eyes.  
“Lets get you checked out at a hospital, some of them look rather deep. You must have gotten cut protecting Barba from the second brick.”  
“I did, and its nothing...its the job.” he lifted his head up, as Carisi came bolting into the room with shaken up Barba following him.  
“Hey! You guys alright?!” Carisi walked over to them, and looked at Dodds hand. “Holy crap, that looks like it hurts!”  
Dodds held back a groan, but Quin saw the blossoming pain in his eyes.  
“Lets get him to hospital, now please!” she was unable to check her tone and she didn't care.  
“Yes, “Barba softly said, looking at a worried Carisi, “let me take Dodds and Carisi can stay here with you, that way we aren't making Liv angry,” he looked at Quin, “You alright?”  
“Yes.” she felt his sincerity, the first time in a while, and wished it came from something other than being scared half to death in his office.  
“Sergeant, let's go.” Barba's commanding tone making a return as Dodds followed him out of the office.  
Carisi took inventory of Quin's face, “It's just a couple of cuts, he'll be fine.”  
“He wouldn't have gotten hurt if...” she stopped herself from loosing it; blaming Carisi and Benson for leaving Dodds here wouldn't take away the cuts on his hand.  
“Hey, he'll be fine. Boy scout promise, huh?” Carisi smiled at her.  
Quin felt her frustration melting away, “Thank you. For keeping him and I quiet.”  
“It's not really all that quiet, Rollins won a home cooked meal from me because of the pool we had going-”  
“-isn't she in gambler's anonymous?”  
“Yeah, but its food, not money?”  
“So it is that obvious we have a thing for each other? I'm the worst at hiding my feelings.”  
“Only because they run so deep.” Carisi gave her a side hug, “besides, maybe you'll mellow him out. I had to remind him that civil liberties are still a thing the other day. You'll be good for him, he's already happier than I've seen him since he started.”  
“Well,” she looked at him, “good.”  
“How about we get out of here, it's almost four pm and I haven't have a single cannoli all day.” Carisi grabbed at his tummy.  
“I don't know how you do this job, detective...” Quin vexed him.  
“Neither do I, neither do I.” He replied, equally in jest as they both left her office to find a diner.


	4. Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The internal and external aftermath of chapter three.
> 
> Yeah, I'm still making this thing go...for reals...

Dodds sat in Barba's very nice, high end car and wondered if he should have wiped his feet before getting in. Barba didn't seem to have that affect, so he dropped the thought.  
“How are you enjoying SVU so far?” Barba questioned him, attempting make conversation with a man he was 97% sure he had nothing in common with.  
Dodds looked at him, “Its been good so far, I'm learning a lot from the lieutenant and everyone else.”  
“I'm sure you are, we're almost there.” Barba updated him as they got off the highway and turned on to a busy street.  
“Thanks for driving me, even after all of this” Dodds held up his hand.  
“It wouldn't be a good idea to let you drive yourself, since you are bleeding through Quin's scarf. Also, I thought it would show my appreciation for you shielding me from the shards of glass.” Dodds saw the older man's eyes soften around the edges.  
“S-sorry...” he trailed off, trying to rest the scarf on his chest, as to not get blood anywhere on Barba's car.  
“-it's fine. She was concerned for you, its touching. Usually she isn't that expressive with her feelings.” Barba calmly stated, his eyes focused on the road.  
“Montgomery is a kind person, sometimes I wonder why she became a lawyer, it doesn't seem like it would fit her temperament well.”  
Barba chuckled, “I wondered the same thing when she came back from England, but this is what she wants, so let her have at it.”  
“You know, she did hold down the fort well while you were recovering, she pretty much ran the place.” Dodds gushed about her, he couldn't help himself. Speaking positively about her made him feel almost giddy, like a certain delight he hadn't experienced in so long.  
“Are you insinuating that I shouldn't have returned, sergeant?” Barba raised an eyebrow, while keeping his eyes forward.  
“No, absolutely not...I just think its hard for her to speak up about her own accomplishments. I think its fair to put in a good word for her.” Dodds looked at the window as they pulled into the hospital's parking. Barba parked the car, got out and opened the door for Dodds.  
“Thank you.”  
“No problem, sergeant.” Barba replied as both men walked into the hospital's reception area and got situated.  
In only a few moments, a very slender blonde nurse made her way over towards them, showing complete concern for Dodd's cut hand.  
“Oh, a police officer?! I'll get you a room stat!” she said in a flirty tone. Barba watched Dodds's face get hot and smiled.  
If he's gay, this is gonna be awesome Barba thought as Dodds tried to collect his thoughts.  
“Not your type, huh?” Barba questioned him as the nurse strutted away from them.  
“I'm not on the market, and she's not my type...not really.”  
“I don't see a ring, seeing someone new?” Barba's eyes raised as he glanced at Dodd's left hand and saw a bare ring finger.  
“Yes, we're still new to dating, but so far, it's been pleasant.” Dodds gushed in the same tone he used a few moments ago talking about Quin in the car.  
Barba poorly held back a little smirk, “So what does he do?”  
“Oh, um...I'm straight, and she works a pretty demanding job.” Dodds looked down at his hand.  
“Finance, sales? C'mon sergeant, out with it...” Barba teased.  
Dodds shifted in his seat, his body language speaking to being confined and uncomfortable. “Law, actually...” he closed his eyes as the adrenaline that previously diminished the pain had dissipated, leaving behind the now raw throbbing pain in his hand.  
“Of course...why date outside of your career pool, so to speak. I bet she loves coming home to you...” Barba tacked on as Dodds continued to shift in his seat.  
“To be fair, that hasn't happened yet...” He fought thinking about what it would be like when it would happen, on her terms of course, but thinking about seeing Quin in something smaller, shorter, and silkier was a turn on, and helping to dampen the pain. It was however, causing other parts of him to rise, and at the worst possible time.  
“Wow, that's new,” Barba snickered, “it isn't like you set it up this afternoon or anything, right?”  
Dodds saw the stabby eyes that Quin had mentioned earlier that day. He did his best to avoid them as a different nurse came in and examined him.  
“Sergeant Dodds, let's see what's going on.” the nurse said as she unwrapped the scarf. Most of the cuts were shallow and already beginning to scab over, but there was one between his forefinger and his thumb that was deep.  
“Well just disinfect your hand, and give this big cut a couple of stitches. You'll be fine in a day or two, as long as you keep it clean. You'll be discharged in no time.” She smiled at him, so he smiled back as she began working on cleaning his hand.  
“Quin will be relieved to know that you'll be fine.” Barba chimed in.  
“She will be, I'll have to clean her scarf before I give it back to her.” Dodds looked at her scarf, now sitting on the examination desk next to the nurse's tools.  
“Ever the gentleman you are Dodds.”  
“Thanks?” Dodds looked up at him, feeling a bit confused.  
“That way you can go back to SVU and keeping your distance.”  
“What?” he asked, wincing as the anti-septic fizzed in the smaller cuts. “Keep my distance, why?”  
“You are the worst at lying, it's kinda cute.” Barba tersely shot back at him.  
“Thank you?”  
“But, seriously, stay in your bullpen and leave Quin alone. She's had a very long year and is still getting back into her peak form, with work that is.”  
Dodds let a breath pass through his nose, trying not to tell off Barba. Quin was an adult, who could make any decisions she wanted with her private life.  
“You may be the chief's son and all, and that's adorable, but my law office doesn't need the added entanglement of your romance, clear?”  
“Yes, but again,” he groaned as the nurse began stitching him up, “I'm not seeing her, romantically.”  
“You Dodds sure do stick to your lies, huh?” Barba trailed off as he left the room.  
Well, he knows... Dodds thought, trying not to feel like a complete failure.

 

Carisi and Quin sat at a nearby diner, having a quiet start to their lunch. She saw the way his eyes were darting around the place, scanning for anyone unusual. His face wore concern; his mind was tinkering around with various thoughts and one of those had to be about Barba.  
“You are worried about something, or should I say someone?” she hinted as their waitress came over and began to pour them coffee.  
Carisi gave the waitress a smile, using the social nicety to forgo answering her question. His blue eyes flashed at the waitress, causing her to smile and blush.  
“I'll be right back to take care of you.” the waitress giggled as she sashayed away with the coffee carafe moving with her.  
“It's Barba, isn't it?” Quin pressed him as she looked him right in the eyes.  
He wasn't able to look away and he sighed, “Yes it is, but not like you think.”  
“Sonny, you have a massive sized crush on the guy...it's epic in form and scale. Also, its pretty obvious, just like Dodds and I.” she added, taking a sip of her coffee.  
“He was almost hit with some of the glass from the window, but Dodds blocked it from getting at him. Someone wants Barba gone, and we're not supposed to be concerned? I can't just let him be open to getting hurt, I respect him too much as a person.” Carisi leaned back in his booth, smoothing down his tie.  
“Dodds will be there to keep watch over us, and I'm sure that Benson will be asking you to run over and check up on us. It's like she knows our respective crushes and respects it.” Quin smiled at the thought of having Dodds around even more so.  
“I gotta buy that guy some cannolis...does he eat cannolis?”  
“I don't know, we went on one date, but the moment I get the intel for you, I'll let you cannoli bomb him into next week.” Quin winked at him.  
“So, how was that date?” a smile washed over the lanky detective's face.  
Quin blushed, “Wonderful, perfect, sublime...until we ran into Hank Abraham...”  
Carisi groaned, “That ass, gah, you know chief Dodds will eventually be on to you two...”  
“I know, but I don't want to think about that...its still fresh and new.”  
“So you're welcome that I roped you into tree decorating...” Carisi motioned a curtsy in his seat.  
“Yes, Sonny Carisi, without your stellar Carisi cupid skills, I'd still be wondering why Mike Dodds was in my office at least twice a day.”  
“Please tell me you weren't that oblivious to why the sarge was visiting you that much...” Carisi raised an eyebrow.  
“You know my dating experience is little to none, but my woman's intuition hinted towards something else...don't tell Barba I was using my woman's intuition near his office, I'll never hear the end of it.” She rolled her eyes.  
Carisi let out a hearty laugh, “Sailor scout honor Montgomery, sailor scout honor!”  
The waitress returned, now with blood red lipstick on and leaned over towards Carisi, hanging on his every word as he placed an order, her eyes skimming over his chest, and below his belt. Quin felt herself physically recoil back into her booth, until the waitress stopped eye humping Carisi and coldly asked her for her order. Once the bare bone amount of work had been done, she walked away, but not without blowing Carisi a kiss.  
“How are you not neck deep in-” she started to ask.  
“-Hey so did you get my text?”  
“The one with 23 emojis in it? Yes I did, why are you bringing up that case?”  
“Because it isn't for class but for the case. Let me ask you this, did your contacts back in the UK kick up anything?”  
“Not yet, but it's only been an hour, and that list was exhaustive. Ronnie's looking into it and the moment I find anything out from him, I will bring it to SVU personally, with our without the sergeant escorting me. But I have to say, it's funny the case you were inquiring about was a child prostitution case from the UK last year.” she took a sip of her coffee.  
Carisi leaned forward, “ I know that you left after what happened with Declan, but you were an assisting CP on that case, even though you weren't practicing law at the time.”  
“Carisi, I did work on that case, but I can't elaborate on it, my legal hands are tied.” She looked out the window and felt the heavy weight of secrecy weighing down on her chest.  
“Look,” he reached out for her hand, “When you left, I missed you. You didn't even call once to say goodbye, no one except for Barba even knew you were missing. I looked into it, and the UK allows a couple of days for its citizens to get their lives in order, but you vanished into nothingness. Barba kept whatever you held him to, but...it hurt, not having you here Quin. You're my friend, and you still are, but the way you left, I had to know why...” his blue eyes pleading for his friend to tell him the truth.   
Sonny, you just can't know... Quin thought as she stood up, “Carisi, even with your genuine worry, I can't tell you why. I'm sorry.” She put a couple of dollar bills on the table and left him there.  
She walked down the street, heading towards her office when the slim detective ran up to her, a single strand of his gel locked hair free and blowing in the cold wind.  
“Why am I not good enough to know, but Barba can?!” his voice strangled with anger.  
Damnit, you can't know, no one besides Barba can! Her thoughts chided him as she continued walking.  
Sonny Carisi couldn't possibly find out that the man she assisted prosecuting wasn't only the head of one of England's largest child prostitution rings, but was also the man who hurt her so deeply and profoundly as a child. He forced her to feel things no child should, used her imagination and intellect to harm other kids like herself. Her thoughts created their living, physical hells and the idea of opening up the closet of self hatred after cleaning it out was emotionally impossible to her.  
You'll never be able to understand. I can't put that on you... She closed her eyes and quickened her pace.  
“Hey, Hey!” he reached out and grabbed her arm. She flashed back Declan grabbing her one night, trying to keep her from escaping, and her muscle memory took over her whole being. She twisted the detective's arm behind his back and shoved him in to a wall.  
Carisi let out a pained groan and she snapped out of her trance. Her hands trembled as she stepped away from him and bolted down the street. He got up and ran after her.  
“STOP!” he screamed as she continued running into a nearby courthouse. She ran up the front steps and went into the closest corridor. Her hands held on to the wall to her right as she ran down the stairs and found a familiar janitor's closet. Barba's intense workload her first year here had caused her to find solace in this place, when she wasn't able to cry in her office from his sniping comments and demands. She locked the door and attempted to collect herself, her heart beating so fast she was sure it was plotting its own escape. She fell to her knees and quietly sobbed as she saw a trail of light shine over the door.  
“Quin?! Quin, for the love of God if you are in there, I'm not gonna hurt you,” his voice softened, “I just wanna know who hurt you...” the light moved closer to her door and his feet were visible through the small crack under the door. She heard him kneel down, and his head rested on the door.  
“I know you're in there Montgomery, please, open the door...please” his voice begged, the pain in it physically weighing him down to the floor.  
“N, No, just leave me be, please...” She forced out through her sobs.  
“Quin, c'mon, this is scaring me, it's just a case you worked on...” he trailed off. He stuck his fingers under the door, touching hers.  
“You'll despise me, you'll-”  
“-No, I won't, you've never been like this, I'm worried...please open the door.”  
She stood up and unlocked the door. It was a blur to her, her fresh tears distorting the view as she slowly opened the door, and made out his frame. Her body violently shook as she finally began to speak through her sobs.  
“He, he, he...” she got out as Carisi pulled her close to him, hugging her.  
“Quin.” he couldn't finish the sentence. There weren't words to express her sadness, her shame and for him to explain that he knew.  
Arthur Cutlass, the defendant in the case, had molested Quin when she was little. He only knew beyond that his friend tucked it away for so long and that her abduction triggered the beastly memories to resurface.  
“...I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. I went back to help prosecute him, the crown was convinced that my previous interactions with him were the best way to get him to confess...I had to go back Sonny, I had to go back to the orphanage and talk to him, keep it together while he sat there and reminisced about touching me, how I felt...I had to, his influence in the child pornography movement was growing, I saw those kids, like two hundred of them, all their eyes had no light to them...” she was bawling loudly into his shoulder as his hand rubbed her back, up and down, trying to soothe her, but she continued to cry.  
“You...you did nothing wrong...” his own emotions caught in his throat- he blamed himself for not seeing through her mask, assuming she was fine, yet never really asking if she was. She always presented as being emotionally strong, even in other child rape cases. She cloaked it so well, it was terrifying.  
“He's in jail, he'll never hurt anyone again, but the harm is done...” she wailed, holding on to him tighter, “...I'm a coward, a giant fucking coward, I should have said something when I was little, but, but it wouldn't have done any good. Sonny, I didn't even want to believe me...”  
“Why didn't you say something to us, to me?” he whispered in her ear, “I would have believed you.”  
“Because i'm disgusting, I'm filthy..I'm-”  
He took her head in his hands and looked her square in the eyes, “You are none of those things, you hear me? You put that guy away, you did it by the book so he'll have no way to worm himself out. You saved those kids-” he stopped to collect himself, but a tear betrayed him, rolling down the side of his face, “-you aren't ruined, you aren't damaged, you're a hero, you hear me?”  
“No, they can't know. You know more than Barba. I just showed him the papers the crown sent me, that's all he knows...he can't find out, please, the file, burn it...Mike can't know.” she whimpered.  
“I'll burn it, I promise, but you gotta talk to someone about this, it can't linger in you anymore, I've seen it eat away at people...”  
She nodded and wiped her eyes, “I will, everything with coming back, the anniversary of being saved from Declan, it just pulled everything up again. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I slammed you into the wall, I'm a shit friend...”  
“You aren't, I missed you, and I knew that Declan screwed you up, but no one should have to bury that in themselves. And as for the wall thing, I thought the sarge showed you that, seemed to be his style.” Carisi gently teased her.  
“Promise me he won't find out, he can't know what happened to me, he won't get it...”  
“Give the guy some credit Quin, he's been killing himself to help you, he loves you.”  
She smiled, “One of these days, you're gonna finally gonna ask Barba out...once you work up the courage.”  
“You aren't trying to put a timeline on that, cause I've got to be disappointing you in that case.”  
The two of them shared a laugh. Quin shifted her weight from one leg to the other, the moment of laughter dissipating.  
She looked him solemnly in the eyes,“How long did you know, that I'd been molested as a kid?”  
“The case came up in my child welfare class, we're covering international child cases and it listed you as assisting CP and as a witness. Somehow my teacher got a hold of the transcript, and I read it without thinking that had happened to you. Swear to God, I wasn't looking for that.”  
“And you're sure that Barba hasn't seen it...?”  
“No, I read it a couple of days ago, and it made sense with how you were acting, the anniversary of Declan taking you, and the sarge finally worked up the courage to actually flirt with you, and I didn't know how else to bring it up. My mind wouldn't even let me think it was real, to be honest.”  
“I appreciate your concern, I do Sonny, you're an amazing man...I mean it.”  
Carisi's face lit up and became rosy from blushing too hard as they hugged again. Quin imagined that if she ever had a brother, Carisi's brotherly embrace is what hugging an actual sibling would feel like.  
“Love you, like a sister...that I like, not like Gina...” he joked.  
“So, now that everyone knows that Dodds and I are dating, what am I going to do about it?”  
“I dunno, but don't have him wear navy blue, he looks like a buff peacock...”  
“Seriously?!” she replied, gently smacking him on the arm.  
“Wha?! He does...a buff peacock in total love with you! That's a complement and you know it!” Carisi defended.  
“ I know, but we should get something to actually eat...” Quin's stomach growled as they started making their way up the stairs.  
“So, is this the Carisi cupid blessing to get to know Dodds better?”  
“Yeah, it is, but please talk to someone about what happened to you, that kind of stuff can wreck relationships, and he wants that with you. It's the real deal, its in his eyes whenever you come up in conversation.”  
“I will...thanks Sonny.”  
“No problem.”  
“Hey, if we can get Barba on board, we could do double dates!”  
“You stay out of my head, Quin Montgomery! With your crystal ball powers!”  
The both of them walked out of the court house and back to her office.


	5. Thriving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long Sunday working the case cultivates a turning point for ADA Montgomery and Sgt. Mike Dodds.
> 
> Still going with this thing, thanks for the support. :D

Quin sat at her desk; after her lunch and emotional detox she felt profoundly better than she had an hour ago. She saw an email from Ronnie, showing over 450 cases that fit the ones on the list. Her soul sighed, but she knew that SVU would have a larger pile to sort through. The redness from crying was untraceable on her face, and her swollen eyes no longer ached. The manner she had released all of it onto Carisi, it embarrassed her, but the way he handled it and still saw her as a person made her admire him in a whole new way. It wasn't a romantic emotion, but rather a deeper sensation where only the examination of her soul could even begin to scratch the surface of understanding it. If Barba ever took up Carisi's desire to date, and crushed the slim detective's heart, her and Dodds would have to take up residence in England, because she would eviscerate the petite ADA into a pile of disconnected limbs hidden all over the world.  
Her mind was vividly aware of a traumatic event it buried out of survival. Or shame.  
I've helped dozens of children, prosecuted their attackers, why now... she broke out of her thought as Dodds and Barba came into her office. Barba was bringing several boxes with him as Dodds was weighed down by Barba's briefcase in his left hand. She saw his bandaged right hand and breathed a sigh of relief that flew under their respective radars.  
“Given the current state of my office, I'm commandeering yours, hope you don't mind.” Barba stated as he pulled her coffee table closer to the small sofa she had in her tiny sitting area. Barba's office was significantly bigger than hers, and while she didn't care about the size difference when they were separated, it became obvious to her that he was under the impression that her office was able to break laws of space. Once he crammed the coffee table close to the sofa, using it as a desk, he began to pull out various case files out of one of the boxes and spread them about.  
Quin got up and walked over to Dodds who was still standing and gently took Barba's massive briefcase from him and sat it next to Barba, who didn't acknowledge the kind gesture, but took it and began piling even more documents on top of her coffee table.  
“Did someone make coffee?” Barba asked while continuing to avoid eye contact, due to being completely engrossed in organizing his new office space.  
Dodds looked at Quin, then asked, “This is going to be temporary,right?” on Quin's behalf, which made her shake her head quickly, 'no'.  
“And that bothers you why exactly?” Barba coldly shot back, as his face contorted into an annoyed expression.  
Dodds crossed his arms, “For security reasons, it may be better for one of you to take another office space, and seeing how you're the one who was targeted, perhaps utilizing another spot would work for you.”  
Barba glared at Dodds, then looked at Quin, “Coffee? Now.” his eyes saying 'could this beefcake not insult me during these trying times?'  
“I'm on it.” Quin softly spoke and left her office hastily, without looking at either one of them.  
Once the door shut, Barba gave Dodds a steely look, “Until CSU and maintenance have my office back to new, this is where I'll be. Quin doesn't have an problem with it, so why do you?”  
“I just think that a perfectly good office space upstairs could be used, and would still allow you two to have your privacy...”  
“Or allow you and her to have some privacy...clearly our chat at the hospital didn't sink in to your skull. Good to know for future reference...”  
Dodds fought the urge to visualize beating up Barba, and instead countered with, “Fine, if you're going to invade her space, at least treat her with respect. She's an accomplished lawyer and you just barked at her like she was an intern.”  
Barba snorted, “Sure, whatever you say, sergeant...”  
Dodds walked over to him, looming before him, “I'm not sure that you understand me, counselor, she's not yours to boss around. Treating her with respect may be a novel idea to you, but maybe now is the time to practice it?”  
Barba stepped closer to him, “I do respect Montgomery, it's you I don't care for. I think I'll ask Benson to rotate you out with another detective, someone who can actually listen to orders...” the words spat out of him, nearly cutting Dodds with their razor sharp edges.  
Dodds sighed, “I'm going to help Quin with that coffee...” he sternly replied, using his larger frame to intimidate Barba, which wasn't going over too well. How does she work with this ass? Dodds thought as he walked away and left the office. He moved down the hallway and saw her in the tiny kitchette area, staring at the coffee slowly percolating into the pot, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes lost in thought.  
“How's the coffee going?” he softly asked from the doorway, promptly causing her to jump a bit. “Sorry, didn't mean to scare you...” he walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her.  
She signed, “This is going to be a long week, isn't it?” her blue eyes skimming over his face to read what he needed.  
“We'll get through it, I promise.” He gave her a side hug, and felt her hug back.  
“That we will, but with having Barba in my office, it's going to be challenging, spending any time together..”  
“Well, well just have to sneak a few moments here and there.” Dodds smiled, leaning in for a quick kiss when both of them heard a loud thud come from her office.  
“Barba!” they shouted in unison, and ran to her office, to see Barba huffing and puffing while re-arranging her furniture.  
“Where's the coffee?” he asked, wiping away a few beads of sweat off his forehead.  
Quin closed her eyes, trying to contain her anger, along with Dodd's rage but wasn't able to shut it off completely. She looked at Barba, “I will be taking a few personal items and leaving you my office. You're my boss and its been a rough homecoming for you, so to speak, so my office will be yours and I'll be going home for the day.”  
Barba's face looked perplexed, but then reflected being hit with an epiphany of sorts.  
“There's no need for that-”  
“-oh, but there is.” Quin quickly shot back. She let out a sigh and grabbed her bag, laptop, and coat.  
“Quin, please...stay” Barba expression changed into one of remorse.  
Dodds looked at them both, and found himself impressed with her ability to illicit that kind of empathy from him.  
“...again, if something comes up, I'll come back in, but you need your space and I need mine.” she matter of a factly stated as she locked eyes with him, “Goodnight”  
“Quin, I just needed things to be familiar to me...your set up is odd..” he trailed off, trying to look away from her.  
“Glad to hear that I'm odd...” she was about to leave when Dodds spoke up.  
“I've got to escort you home, the lieutenant would be livid if I let you leave by yourself.”  
Barba glanced over at his pile of cases, “ Well then that means I'll pack up for the day too.” he softly added and began to pick up a chunk of the case files on her table.  
“Sergeant, could I have a moment with Barba alone please?” she asked him.  
“I'll be outside.” he replied, leaving them alone in the office together. Quin's empathy began to kick into overdrive. Barba's well cloaked anxiety and fear were dancing around his aura, almost mocking her for being receptive of them, but holding back on addressing them outright.  
“Please just take my office, it will work for everyone well in the long term, you'll have your office space and I'll have mine. I don't mind having to make mine up again, you are my boss.”  
“No, I'll get it. I've been having-”  
“-a hard time coming back? I gathered that, I know, ok, I sensed that you're still recovering from the fight last week, but I'll excuse dumping your life in here if you'd just admit that you're worried about this letter?” Her eyes pleading for him to be honest with his emotions, just once.  
Barba crossed his arms, and his face showed some hints of blush on it. Quin knew he hated her ability to read him, and that he was both irate and grateful that she had, but if he wouldn't snipe and snark when he was stressed, he'd do a much better job of hiding it.  
“It's been that clear to you, huh?”  
“Gods, yes it has been. You've been either mindless to anyone else, thank you coffee example, or you're short and tart with the sergeant for no good reason. I can tell you, the sergeant isn't dying to be here, I sense that he'd rather be back in the precinct actually helping SVU versus babysitting us.”  
“I think you aren't completely right about that last one. He spent a fair chunk of time gushing about you during our drive to the hospital. He's got his eye on you Quin.”  
She knew her face was blushing, but she pressed on though his distraction, “Even if he was, he's far more useful to SVU than us.”  
“Why didn't you become a therapist, you've once again succinctly read this entire situation correctly.”  
“Because they can only do so much, with prosecution, I have a larger impact on shaping lives, making them better.” she confessed.  
Barba saw the outline of Dodds silhouette, “How about we actually call it a day and see where they are with my office in a day or two?” the light returning to his eyes.  
“Alright, but the sergeant should take you home first, since you are the man of the hour.”  
“I'll get Carisi to take me home, it'll make his week...”  
“It will,” she smiled, “Let's just figure this case out with the others and make the best of this situation, ok?”  
“Another solid strategy from the Montgomery camp..” a subtle smile came on to his face as he texted Carisi to get to his office ASAP.   
“I can stay until Carisi gets here-” she began to say.  
“-no need, this place does have security and they do a decent job of keeping us safe, it'll be three minutes tops, I know Carisi is practically sprinting here as we speak.”  
“If you're sure of it...”  
“I am, let Dodds get you home, and rest, because the next few weeks are going to be hectic.” his eyes hid something.  
“So you're perfectly fine with Dodds escorting me home?”  
Barba looked at her, whatever tiny thought was bouncing around his head, was trying its damnest to reflect in his eyes, and momentarily it did, I know there is something going on with you and him, it isn't my business, but I want it to be because I can't loose you again  
He looked at her, “Why wouldn't I be?” he calmly played the escaped thought off.  
She put on her coat and left her office.  
Dodds face lit up when he saw her. “Everything okay?”  
“Yes, but Barba's on to us and he thinks he keeping his cards to his chest. She replied as Dodds tossed on his own coat.  
“so...?”  
“...keep it professional at work and try not to speak up for my honor again. Painting Barba as some machismo jerk isn't going to work out well, I know that isn't what you were trying to do, but that's how he received it.”  
His cheeks flushed, “I know I spoke out of turn, but he was being the biggest jerk to you, and I couldn't let it happen twice in one day.”  
“He was, but that's how he is when he gets obsessed with a case, I've learned to adapt to it. Him and I are good.”  
“Who's good?” Carisi inquired as he stopped to talk to them. His hair was breaking away from its gel encasement more and more, demanding to be free for at least a little while.  
“Nothing, Barba has commandeered my office.”  
Carisi rolled his eyes, “Jesus, that guy and now I have to get him home. Pray for me.”  
“Quin laughed, “Its alright, Dodds and I are going to get me home, have a nice evening.”  
Carisi looked at them and grinned.  
“Detective...” Dodds began, trying to not get flustered by Carisi's megawatt smile.  
“Yeah, Sarge?” Carisi continued to smile at them.  
“Get Barba home, safely.”  
Carisi lifted his right hand to his temple in a faux salute, “Yes, sir” and walked past them into Quin's office.  
“Shall we?” Dodds asked, linking arms with her.   
She blushed, “Yes, we shall.”

 

Quin held the door open for him as Dodds made his way into her apartment. Instinctively, she took her bad from him and sat it down next to the catch all chair, and then shut the door behind them. She watched his eyes take in every part of her apartment and her heart beat quickened. To her, he was analyzing every part of her being, and she worried she wouldn't continue to impress him. What if he thought she lived meagerly, unable to take care of herself, but with knowledge that he had spoken of her defending Barba from the attack last week to Abraham of all people, that didn't seem correct. What if instead, he just thought she had no sense of style, but once more, that didn't seem to fit either.  
“Your place is nice, it has a cozy intimate feel to it.” he complimented her as he continued to stand, unsure of where to sit down at not out of confusion, but out of fear of making a wrong move.  
“Take a seat, wherever you wish. It's been a long Sunday for both of us.” Quin answered him.  
“Anywhere?” he asked, giving her a knowing smile.  
“Well, yes?” she countered as she walked behind the kitchen wall, which divided the living room and the kitchenette she had, and put a kettle on for tea.  
“Well, what about your bed?”  
Quin nearly dropped the two mugs in her hand, but recovered from his bold remark and rested them on the counter top, her legs feeling weak. “E-excuse me?” she stammered as she felt her face go red hot. Me plus you plus my bed?! Her mind screamed out of a combination of desire and stunned awe, as he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close like he did last night.  
“Quin,” he looked her in the eyes, “I'm teasing. I know we aren't ready for that...yet...right?” His eyes pleaded for an answer, but she wasn't sure what the answer should be.  
“I mean, I'm not a prude, not that it would matter, but, culturally speaking, such an intimate event-”  
“-bed sitting?” he raised his eyebrows, attempting to minimize the significance of what he was asking.,  
“-yes, seems to come later on in the relationship process, however-”  
“-yes?”  
“-however, resigning one from a traditional stance in an ever changing cultural environment does allow someone to grow in a new way, which sticking to those cultural norms would have inhibited...” She rattled off, her nerves growing, but also her desire rising as well.   
He looked lovingly at her, “I won't do anything you don't want me to-”  
She matched the intensity of his gaze, “-I want you to, but I want your respect afterwards-”  
“-you've got it.” he pulled her into a passionate kiss, and they started to move away from the kitchenette, and she pulled away.  
“I can stop, if you need me to.” he let got of her with one arm, holding his non wounded hand up to show he understood.  
“Yes, but only because the kettle's on!” she turned off the stove, put the kettle on a cool burner, and sank back into his intensity.  
The two of them, a jumble of limbs and lips made their way to her bedroom, shutting the door. She looked at him and took off her sweater, and felt at a loss what she should be doing. So do I strip and then strip him? She mused as she recalled it had been a few years since she had been physical with anyone, and her body began to freeze.  
He chuckled, “It's been a while for me too.” allowing a glimpse of vulnerability to show in his eyes, then looked away from her.  
She gently grabbed his tie and began to untie it, his eyes looking at her again as a new surge of confidence bolstered in her mind, her hands reaching out to him, to grab and hold on to him, praying she wouldn't have to let go.  
His hands went to her necktie on her blouse and slowly pulled it open as they sank into a steamy kiss. She pulled the tie off and tossed it on to the bed, then felt her way down his chest to his shirt buttons. Slowly she unbuttoned his shirt as his hands drifted down her back and stopped right on the small of her back. The last of his buttons were undone and she began to pull it off his shoulders and down his arms, which caused his arms to leave her body briefly. Looking at him in a muscle tank and slacked, with the outline of an erection visible to her, a wave of insecurity smacked her across the face.  
While he was physically fit, she was feeling every minute inadequacy of her form displayed before him, and she crossed her arms.  
“Hey, I don't want you to hide yourself, not now.” his hands moved to her waist, “not ever.”  
“It's just you're...very, fit” her voice tightened at the end, her nerves getting to her.  
“I don't need you, or want you to be a shape that you can't be, you're gorgeous the way you are, tall, curvy, strong. Honestly, I've been with slender women, and its been nice, but they don't excite me the way you do, I get mentally and physically turned on by you.”  
A large smile came over her face and she unbuttoned her shirt, and pulled it off, letting it fall to the floor. It felt liberating to really know how he felt about her body, and the realization that she didn't have to possess an ideal physique was the last chain to be cast off her mind. She kissed him hard and took off his tank, then felt his hands reach behind her and unfasten a bra clasp. She wore a peach colored lace bra, which shaped and cradled her fuller chest nicely. The final clasp came undone and she shivered as the straps slowly slid down her shoulders and arms, making them equally topless.  
Both of them fell back on to her bed, and he carefully got on top of her, continuing to kiss her and feel every inch of her skin, caressing away and last lingering doubts. She spread her legs a bit, allowing him to align their waists just right so she could feel his now fully aroused member. Her hips pressed against his, and his hands cupped her bottom, effortlessly lifting her closer to him. Feeling for his belt, she began to unbuckle it as they continued to press against each other. Her lower half was quivering, she needed to feel him inside of her, moving in and out, nothing else would suffice. She undid the belt buckle and unzipped his pants, then unbuttoned them and felt his hands guide hers as the slacks slowly fell down around his ankles. He kicked them off and felt for her pants zipper. Quickly her pants were stripped off her long legs, leaving behind a pair of navy colored panties with a visible spot of moisture. She pulled back from their kiss and looked up at him.  
“Top drawer, nightstand, there's a box.”  
He turned his head towards it, “right” and went over to it, grabbed a condom and quietly got it situated on his person, letting his boxers fall to the floor. Walking back to the bed, he locked eyes with her, and slowly worked the panties off her body, while kissing and licking her neck.  
“I...I...” she moaned into his ear, as he tossed her panties aside.  
“Ready?”  
She pulled his chest on top of hers, her legs wrapping around him as he thrust into her. She couldn't believe how aroused she was, it was one thing in her fantasies, thinking about him before falling asleep, soothing her aches with her own fingers, but feeling his actual member, stretching her in length and girth was the pinnacle she spent too many evenings attempting to duplicate.  
“Quin...I...” he moaned as his hands held on to her hips, diving deeper into her, “...I love you.” his lips crashed against hers. His love radiated around her, every pore lapping it up as she began to buck her hips against his. It encapsulated her, her chest heaving as she felt him come up from their kiss for air.  
“Mike, I love you to...” she felt herself merging with his emotions, the sheer joy each of them felt as the other completely buried themselves into one another. “Please tell me this isn't an extremely vivid dream I'm having- right?” her voice whispered as he continued to match her pace, each of them savoring every movement.  
“No, it isn't...its real...” his right hand cupping her face, the bandage caressing her cheek, “...it'll stay that way.”  
She nodded and closed her eyes as his thrusts went deeper and she matched them with her own movements, her clitoris grinding on the base of his penis.   
“I know...I know that it is...” she looked at him, a few strands of chestnut brown hair falling down over his face. She reached up and brushed them away, a smile appearing on his face.  
“Good,” he rested his head on hers, “I don't want you thinking its anything other than real, I've waited so long for this...”  
She smiled back, “me too...”  
They kissed and felt a wave of orgasmic bliss take hold of them. She felt herself clamp down on him, her muscles contracting, squeezing him as one last thrust sent him over the edge.  
He moaned into her ear as he came, “God, yes!” and collapsed on her, his arms pulling her as close as physically possible as she climaxed. It was a million shivers dancing in her neurons, each one lighting up and applauding the moment.  
“OH!” she moaned, her back arching up then crashing down on to the mattress. He passionately kissed her in their mutual afterglow and she felt herself tearing up. A tear from her eye slid down on to his thumb, which brushed it away.  
“What's wrong?” his voice trembled as he looked at her.  
“Nothing, I swear nothing...I” she let out a small laugh, “...I've waited my whole life for that level of intimacy, that kind of connection to someone, and its here and I...”  
His eyes misted over, “I know the feeling, but I'm not your first, am I?”  
“No, you aren't, just the first to really get me, I know it shouldn't be a big thing, but people die without ever experiencing it and I thought I was destined to be one of those people...but, I'm not.”  
He rested his head on hers and they held each other, turning out the rest of the world, his grey blue eyes gazing into hers.  
“I love you Mike, I mean it.”  
“I love you too Quin, I can't go back to not knowing this.”  
“Same here.”  
Both of them fell asleep, as the world kept thriving around them.


	6. Lovingly Withheld

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new turn in events brings out Barba's snarky nature, and Quin's concern for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little shorter than the last chapter, but longer chapters are coming.
> 
> And so is the Barisi.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“One hundred and twenty seven cases of sexual assault on a minor on that date alone, in these states...god...” Benson gave up on finishing her thought while she held Noah on her lap, letting him coo and quietly play with toys. She sat at her desk, regretting briefly that Noah had to be near her while she read over these grueling facts, but she'd never be able to actually conceal the job from him.  
She flipped through the case file and heard a knock at her door, glancing up, she saw Carisi, who looked especially weary too early in the morning.  
His eyes looked tired as he opened the door and walked in. Noah and him caught each others eye and the worn out look on his face vanished as Carisi went into uncle mode, smiling and talking to the toddler. Benson regretted taking the moment away, but the case need to be the priority.  
“What did you find, Carisi?” she inquired. Carisi snapped back into business mode and looked at her.  
“We've gotta pare down our net, this is exhausting-”  
“-Were you thinking I wanted to expand it?” she replied, as Noah cooed in solidarity with her, getting yet another smile from Carisi  
“Hardly, Lieutenant, but there has to be something off that list that gives us a direction to go.”  
She took off her reading glasses, “Sgt. Dodds thinks that it's gang related, but the man the note was found on wasn't gang affiliated.”  
“Why does he think that?” Carisi replied as a confused expression ran over his face.  
“Why do you think?” Benson's mouth turned into a tell all smile.  
“Quin?”  
She nodded her head, “Quin looked at the linguistics and believes that there was one physical writer, a scribe, but two different authors, with distinct individual voices.”  
“So one person wrote the whole thing, but each of their thoughts are separate, via the linguistics?”  
“Yes, we can't be completely certain, but we can't rule it out. Maybe you could look into it?”  
“Why me?” the confused expression holding strong on his face.  
“Because Quin trusts you a little bit more than the rest of us, also, you're pretty scholarly, comparatively speaking to some of us.”  
Carisi blushed at the praise, it felt good to have Benson recognize his law school work and find value in it in his job.  
“I did okay in English in high school and college, but Quin, with her A level scores, she's the expert.”  
Benson smiled, “Yes, but you can translate the linguistic jargon down to terms that everyone can get, not just Barba but for Dodds as well. How is Rollins doing?”  
“She's doing okay, but she thought you'd be mad with being short handed-”  
“-I'm not, but now that you bring it up, Dodds should be here, its now only for the one day, since he's injured. I gather Barba isn't fond of being babysat- isn't that right Noah?” She asked Noah, who smiled at her.  
“I took Barba home shortly after they left, around five or so, so chances are where Quin lives, he got back around 6 or so, right?”  
Benson raised an eyebrow, “Maybe he didn't go home.” she looked through her blinds and saw Dodds arrive at his desk, twenty five minutes late and very out of character for him.  
Carisi stifled a smile, “Lieutenant, of course he went home...”  
Benson glanced at Carisi, then saw Dodds heading towards her office. The sergeant walked in,  
“Good morning.” his tone was happy, yet professional.  
“Mornin' sarge,” Carisi looked at Benson, then Dodds and then left the room. Once he was gone, Dodds stepped towards Benson desk and his eyes went straight to Noah, whose light blue eyes looked back at him. Realizing he was meeting his boss' child for the first time, and his lack of experience dealing with children, he flashed a smile, which caused Noah to turn his head towards Benson.  
“I forgot you two haven't met- Noah, this is Dodds, and this is my son, Noah.”  
Benson touched Noah's nose with her own, causing a sleep blush to come over her son's face.  
Dodds bent down to Noah's eye level, “Nice to meet you Noah.” he greeted, as he waved at the boy, who looked at Benson with a perplexed look on his face. “-I'm not the best with kids, to be honest.” Dodds confessed, as he stood back up.  
“It's not you, he's shy with just about everyone, so how is Barba?”  
“He's doing as well as possible, given the situation.” Dodds diplomatically replied, intentionally holding back how much of an ass the ADA had been to him in the last twenty four hours.  
“And?” Benson pressed, her eyes looking at his right hand.  
Dodds glanced at it, “Oh, I'm fine, just a few small scrapes, nothing...” he downplayed the pain he was feeling, not wanting an opportunity for Benson to find him inadequate for the job.  
“Good, so I'm gonna have Carisi work with Quin on the linguistics overview she's doing, so I'll keep you here, good?”  
An instant of disappointment flew through him, but at Quin's request he keep it professional he answered with, “Of course, where should I jump in?”  
“Help Finn fill out the rest of the interstate requests. Since we're going alphabetically, we're currently at Colorado.” her voice hinted at her exhaustion as Noah rested his head on her shoulder.   
Looking at how the Lieutenant and her son interacted, Dodds wondered if Quin wanted kids. He was on the fence about them himself, but both his mother and father were not so subtly biting at the bit for him find someone, get married, get promoted, and have several kids. “Will do.” he smiled, almost out of her office, when she asked, “So, how's Quin?”  
He froze in his tracks, unsure what to say, yet aware his body language was being deciphered by her. After a moment of silence, he turned around, “She's doing well, she's really focused on helping Barba anyway she can.”  
“Good, so I have to say, the tree for the intereligious display looks good.” she complimented him, her brown eyes sparkling.  
“Um...thanks, but Quin, and everyone else did a great job on it.” his tone was gushing, like it had been the other day with Barba.  
“Sarge, you don't have to cover for them, Rollins came clean before going on bed rest, I know that you and Quin decorated it alone.”  
He let out a sigh, “I see, I'll get started with helping out Finn.” he turned back around and left her office.  
Benson looked at Noah, who was falling asleep on her shoulder.  
“Hopefully you'll be better a hiding a work relationship...” she mused as her focus returned to her stack of cases.

 

Quin walked into her office as Carmen, Barba's personal secretary followed her in, and did so in such a silent fashion that Quin almost screamed when she turned around and saw her. Carmen's eyes held back wanting to tell Quin something, but moments after she greeted Quin, a fussy Barba opened her office door and stormed in. Given his expression, Quin knew it was going to be a long start to an already over stretched week that was riding the struggle bus to get by.  
“We're back to sharing an office, the one upstairs has been promised to someone else, apparently having a viable, physical attack made against my person doesn't warrant getting another office...” he huffed, like a child finding out they weren't getting dessert and had eaten their vegetables, “...my arguments were met with complete resistance!” he pouted as he sat down on her sofa and put his feet up on her coffee table.  
Quin took in a breath, centered herself, and pretended that Barba wasn't there, and asked Carmen, “Ok, well, Carmen were there any calls for me this morning? Sorry I got in a bit late, I treated the Sergeant to breakfast to thank him for yesterday...” She glanced at Barba, “...on behalf of our office, all of us.” and saw his eyes roll as he continued to stew in his own grumpy space.  
“What a kind thing to do! Well, now that you ask, there was a message from detective Car-”  
Carisi bolted into Quin's office. His hair was slicked back in its usual style, and his three piece suit fit his slender frame well. His face wore a look of urgency. Carmen escaped but not without glancing him up and down once.  
“Carisi, can this wait?” Barba grumbled at him.  
“No, councilor, it can't...” he looked at Quin, “...did you take another look at that note? We need to pare down the case load, we're averaging dozens of cases through each state. Do you have anything, linguistics wise that can help us out?”  
“Yes, I do” Quin smiled and patted his shoulder.  
“What? Where was this yesterday when everyone was here?” Barba shot up out of her sofa, seething with anger that she had information and hadn't shared it. While he enjoyed having her brain to pick apart, he didn't like her overtly private manner that made doing so an absolute chore.  
“I had to pull some strings back home, and he said that one of the phrases from the first dialect of words, 'lovingly withheld' belongs to a UK terrorist organization, the Wights. The phrase speaks to the concept of a wight, being undead, a ghost that roams endlessly, the specific link to the phrase is that the organization holds it members lovingly away from the corporeal world, essentially shielding them from physical or legal punishments for their crimes.”  
“But also makes it impossible to have a normal life?” Barba tacked on.  
“Yeah, that the trade off, you can do all kinds of illegal stuff, but you'll never live again.” Carisi expanded upon the Barba's ideas as the older man looked at him, almost showing a fondness for his intelligence.  
“Do they use this phrase on everything?” Barba pressed.  
“For the most part yes, it's their calling card. My contact was only now able to get the intel from the British secret service, he had to pull several strings himself to make it happen.” Quin firmly replied.  
Barba took a breath in, his tense shoulders relaxing, “Sorry for thinking you were holding out on us-”  
“It's fine, but if we are dealing with the wights, and they're setting up shop here in the states, this entire situation will get ugly, very, very quickly.”  
“So we can stop going through the interstate requests?!” Carisi's excitement was spreading over his entire body.  
“Yes, they would want to build a foothold in another large city, like London, so for the time being, keeping eyes and ears on New York city is the best route to take, but-”  
Carisi noticed the concern in her eyes, “-what?”  
“-from the intel I got, no one has ever been able to catch a single member of the wights, their moniker fits them and their methodology extremely well, and with what happened a few days ago, I don't think that Barba and I should be alone.”  
“Seriously?” Barba groaned, Carisi put a soothing hand on his shoulder, which Quin observed wasn't being immediately brushed off.  
“She may be on to something councilor, if we even let this slip, even a bit, it could spell complete disaster for yours and Quin's safety.” Carisi agreed.  
Barba let out an annoyed sigh, and reached up to move Carisi's hand, but held it for a moment. “Fine,” he dropped hold of the detective's hand, not registering how much blush was on Carisi's cheeks, “but anyone beside the sergeant...”  
Quin checked her annoyance, “Rotate the person out, so they cannot be compromised.”  
Barba laughed, “Now you're worried about compromise!”  
“Beg pardon?” she tensely replied, her eyes glaring at Barba.  
“You didn't seem concerned about it with Dodds yesterday. You could have him stay on the entire course of this case.”  
“I could, only because he's the most logical choice to do the job, from a security point of view, but the scope has changed. The other intel I got alludes to the wights getting to people through bribes, extortion, assault even. However, the rotation of our security person, true randomization, would make it much harder for the wights to assimilate them.”  
“Yeah, so they can't corrupt anyone, good call.” Carisi supported her. “Also, the sarge is still recovering from his hand injury, so letting him have the day off would help him recover.”  
“He'll still be at SVU, but its a sweet thought Carisi. As long as the case is going on, he'll be fighting tooth and nail along side the rest of you.”  
Barba rolled his eyes, “That's all well and good, but in the meantime we have other case to prosecute, other things to focus on.”  
“Yes, we do. Carisi, please have Benson compile a randomized list of officers to rotate out on patrol when Barba and I leave in the evenings.”  
“Just evenings? I mean, you both are vulnerable during the day.” Carisi worried.  
“We have several cases, in courthouses that will give us a solid level of protection from them.” she reassured him.  
“I'll get her on it.” Carisi was about to leave when a text message came up on his phone, “shit...”  
“Carisi, what is it?” Barba asked as his anxiety washed over his face, looking at Carisi.  
“There was a rape in a Manhattan pub, I've gotta go.” He walked over to the door and was about to leave again but looked back them, “I'll let you know if any of the wights stuff comes up.”  
“Thank you, Sonny.” Quin somberly replied.  
“Anytime councilors.” Carisi replied, then left her office.  
Barba took in her worry, it was more expressive, speaking to her knowing something she didn't want to disclose to them, but others had tried that trick and virtually all of them failed, but Quin wouldn't break so easily to his questions.  
Why did you really go back? He thought as she sat at her desk and diligently worked. He sat on her sofa, putting his feet back on her coffee table and began scanning over case work, a silence lingering between them.


	7. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THERE ARE SENSITIVE SUBJECTS HANDLED IN THIS CHAPTER, SUCH AS CHILD ABUSE AND ASSAULT. PLEASE KNOW IT IS IN THIS CHAPTER SO FAR IN THIS WORK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
> 
> An embrace brings solace between lovers and also friends as information about the Wights continues to come to light.

Cold, hard metallic footsteps echoed above her. She didn't know where she was. Her breath, a challenge to take in, was compensated by taking shallow breaths. The airflow was sub par, but it kept her alive, awake, even though she didn't want to be. Quin rolled over on to her side, the pillow top mattress soft under her body, which went into rigor as the realization of where she was took center stage in her mind.  
No! Please, not the set! Her young mind guessed, pleading for any tangible sign to prove her wrong.  
It didn't.  
She sat up, and took inventory of her person. Her shirt was buttoned askew, her bra put on poorly. She had been redressed. Her soul cringed as the pieces connected in her mind- Arthur, her, the set...her eyes caught the camera, which wasn't on. She hadn't been recorded. Quin wondered, her eyes watering, did she plead, fight him, or beg for mercy? Did she utilized her intellect to get Arthur to harm her and only her? Did he forgo recording because she gave into his sick, demented demands?  
One little twist love, and you'll be kept of the cameras, but I'll need an idea or two... his sing song tone wormed through her mind. Quin stood up, her legs painted with Arthur hand prints and welts, and found her pants. He had torn out the crotch of them, another reminder that he owned her, she was merely his property, his to use in any way possible.  
That's the facade he needs, without me he's be listless and idea less. She told her self, as she wrapped her arms around her frame and began to cry from the pain in her ribs. Her sobs intensified as his voice marked his presence.  
“Oh, Love! There you are!” Arthur cheerfully said, as he sauntered over to her, and planted a good morning kiss on her. Her body seized up as he held her close, a massive bear hug smashing her bruised lungs together, the agony rippling through her whole body.  
“Now now, don't be like that, last night was magical, oh the way you danced my little Quinie, so lovely!”  
She suppressed her sobs and with every ounce of willpower in her young body, she reciprocated his hug and replied, “I'm glad you were happy...” the bile in her stomach shoot up into her mouth, but she swallowed it down, feeling it burn her throat.  
Arthur pulled himself away from her, smiling widely as he looked at her, “Now, lets get you a new outfit, maybe a dress that you love!”  
I HATE DRESSES YOU MONSTER! Her mind screamed with all the intensity it possessed.  
“-and get you off to class, uni isn't going to come if you can't get out of secondary school, hmm?”  
JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!  
“Yes, well, go on, get washed up, you look so dirty...” he teased, marching her upstairs, out of the set and into his private lodgings at the orphanage. Once they both were upstairs, he shut the door built into the ground and watched her get undressed in the parlour. She had such a womanly frame at 12, taller, fuller figured then the other girls in her age group. The perfect combination of innocence and sexiness Arthur mused as she slowly pulled off her clothes. He regretted for a moment that he bruised her all over, but the purple color of the bruises complemented her stunning eyes, making the gold ring in them shine brighter.  
Quin violently shook as she stood before him, nude and shivering. Arthur kept his office and home flat frigid cold, so she's always struggle to keep warm, forcing her to keep warm with him. He got up and walked over to her, and stood in front of her. He took his index finger and traced it down her chest, stomach, and stopped at her hip bone. He rubbed the index finger with his thumb, like checking for dirt and let out a disappointed 'tsk'.  
“Go and clean up!” he screamed as she sprinted towards the bathroom and locked herself in. Arthur laughed, “Oh Quinie! You can't escape! You'll have to to come out of there, you'll be late for school!” he giggled as she turned on the hot water, scalding hot and viciously scrubbed her body with the sliver of soap, crying, and desperate to get the grime off of her.  
Get me clean, get me clean, get me clean! Her mind whispered as she scrubbed herself until her skin bled.

 

Quin traced her hand over her body as she rolled in her bed, then shot awake out of the nightmare. Yet another one surfaced, vengefully robbing her of sleep, like the others since the list appeared. She was exhausted from her day at work, and rubbed her eyes while she grabbed her phone and glanced at the time- 12:45 am- and groaned, letting out a sigh and rolled over in bed. She reached for one of her spare pillows, one that Dodds had used last night, and held it close to her body, taking his scent in. Her mind recalled their evening together, the intensity, the passion fluttering throughout her senses. She longed to have him there, but the nightmare's darkness flashed in her mind, and she tossed the thought aside. The screen on her phone lit up, and she looked at it. It was a text from Mike, a simple,'everything okay?' that was so ideally timed it was like he was in the room with her, his strong arms wrapped around her, his gentle eyes diving into her soul and seeking out her needs.  
She grabbed her phone and texted back, 'I'm fine, just a bit lonely' and sent it. Why did I say I was lonely? She thought, “but I am lonely...” she replied to her own thought.  
'Want me to come over? I just got off work.' he texted back.  
“Gods, yes, yes I do.” she spoke to the darkness around her, but texted instead, 'no need, just doing some work, hitting the sack soon.' I can't burden you with my nightmares, she thought again, her mind fighting with her heart's wants.  
'How about I bring a late night snack?' his text seemed to beg for her companionship.  
'I don't want to put you out..' she sent The trip over would be a pain for him, at this hour. Her mind mused once more.  
'Hardly, I miss you.' the winking emoji made her smile.  
'Ok, see you soon' she sent and regretted it. Barba would be fuming if he knew she was locking lip and limbs with Dodds, but their bond was formidable and too intense for anyone to diminish, that, and if Barba was going to play dumb to it, she wasn't going to stop.  
Within half an hour, Dodds was outside her door, with a bag of snacks and a weary smile on his face. Quin stood there in her pjs, a pair of thermal long johns and a fleece tunic, and let him in.  
“I know its late, but I had to see you. I just had to know you were alright. Carisi said that your contact got some scary intel on the gang that we're dealing with.” He sat the bag down on her chair and pulled her close.  
“Yes,” she yawned, “but can I just hold you close and let you tell me about your non work day, maybe drift off to sleep?” she smiled as she wrapped her arms around him.  
“Yes, sorry...um...I shouldn't always bring up work with you.” he spoke into her ear, sending a shiver through her entire body.  
“Well, it's how we talked for the first few months, it's a bad habit.” she teased.  
“I'll just have to work on breaking it, but, how about we get cozy in your room?”  
Quin nodded and they made their way to her bed, and got situated. Dodds kicked off his shoes and stripped down to his tank and boxers, then climbed into bed with her.  
“How was today?” she asked as he held her close, and she began to fall asleep, in his embrace.  
“It's good...” his voice dimmed as she felt the tranquility of his body close to her lull her to sleep.  
Dodds looked at her, saw her sleeping, and stopped talking, pulling her closer.  
“I'll fill you in on the rest, in the morning.” he whispered and let his own mind drift off to sleep.

 

After a long day in court with Barba, Quin walked out of the courthouse and made her way to a local library to meet Carisi. Meeting at this library had been the detective's idea since he not only tasked with assisting her with planning a informational meeting about the Wights for SVU, but also he needed the cover to get some law school work done. Her arms were heavy, between her briefcase and purse, but also with her editing work on Carisi's final paper for his child welfare class. It was a 42 page term paper that she spent the better part of two days looking over, making notes and suggestions for him, which took her away from the sergeant. With everything Carisi had done for her, the small sacrifice of time with Dodds was worth it to ensure her friend would excel in his coursework, and Mike understood and respected the choice.  
Having Mike stay over the other night was the right call, it felt good to wake up next to him, seeing him resting in her bed, even if they didn't have sex. Both their jobs made getting together challenging when they didn't have the excuse of him being her bodyguard, but both were determined to continue their course. The way that he texted her throughout the day was endearing, it was the modern day equivalent of a post card, sent from the moment he was thinking about her, a textual snapshot of his mind focused on just her. As the snow fell around her during her walk to the library, she thought about the other morning, before both of them had scrambled to get to work, how he had looked at her taking a sip of her coffee and asked, “so, what are we doing for the holidays?”  
Not her, by herself, but them, together. She didn't have a response and his phone rang off the hook, giving her an out.  
Her phone chimed then, as she was outside the library, and she saw the text Mike had sent her, it was a picture of Finn asleep as his desk. She walked in and let out a good, hearty laugh, which caused several people to look at her and shush her. Apologizing, Quin made her way to the meeting room Carisi was in. The detective was hunched over his desk, jotting down note, flipping through several legal books before him. He dedication was admirable. She gently opened the door and stepped gingerly into the room. Carisi didn't register her, and shut the door.  
She walked over to the desk, still undetected, until the scooting noise of the chair gave her away.  
“Wha...?” Carisi asked, looking up and then smiling at her, “So you found the place?” he teased.  
Quin scoffed, “I know my way around a library, detective...” she teased back as she sat down, making herself at home and unpacking her briefcase.  
Carisi sat his pen down and stretched his long, toned forearms in front of him and yawned.  
“So how are you doing with that pub rape?”  
“Oh, Dodds and Finn are on it.” he replied, his eyes peeking into her open briefcase, scanning to see if his paper was in it.  
Quin met his eyes, “Yes, Carisi, I gave it a glance over.”  
“How bad was it? Now, keep in mind, I'm not a lawyer or a genius-”  
She held her hand up, causing him to pause, “It was overall a solid work, but I did make some notes and suggestions, and that's all they are.” she smiled, and handed the paper back to him. His nervous eyes skimmed fastidiously over every page, enlarged with each page turned.  
“You said this was good Quin, but there are marks everywhere!” his voice tense with apprehension. He looked like she had eaten the last cannoli on earth.  
“Sonny,” she touched his hand, “listen to me, you asked me to look at it and I did. And my suggestions are mine, that's all-”  
He huffed and she felt bad for making her suggestions. The stress of the case was wearing on him; she had Dodds but Carisi was single and with a mammoth sized crush on Barba that currently had no outlet.  
“I really didn't mean to offend, and like I mentioned, they are only suggestions, I'm...sorry...” she meekly trailed off as they both sat in silence.  
“I, I just really wanted to impress you, and I slaved over this thing for, weeks, and its eviscerated by your smarts and I'm ticked off that I didn't make a pass at Barba when I dropped him off at home, and...” he looked at her, as she sat before him, intently listening to every work he rambled out of his mouth.  
“Carisi, I'm sorry...” Quin crossed her arms over her chest, uncomfortable that her friend's stress was in his life and that she vividly felt it as he own.  
His expression turned from frustration to self annoyance.  
“Nah, no reason for you to be sorry, I've just been struggling with the time management thing since we caught this case, and with final grades rolling out in a few days, along with Bella freaking out over the holidays 'cause my mom's gonna pretty much figure out I'm bi and that's a whole thing and-”  
Quin walked over to him and remembering Dodds embrace, recreated it with the now jittery detective. “Sonny, turn in the paper as is, just tweek the grammar and you'll get an A. I forget sometimes that my A is different from everyone else's A. Your argument was passionate, but tempered in reality, and as a practicing lawyer, that is what wins cases, not minute technicalities peppered in to legalities they have no reasonable connection to.”  
She heard Sonny take in a deep breath and let out out slowly. His body was relaxed, in nearly the same manner she had been with Dodds when he held her.  
“Thank you.” the grateful tone evident in his reply, “you know, in a world without Rafael Barba and Mike Dodds, we could have dated...”  
Quin's face went hot, “Chances are not, but not because I wouldn't want to, I mean, I don't, not this version of me, but you know...because without Barba, I wouldn't have come back.”  
Carisi let go of her, and looked up at her from his seat, “Barba brought you back here?”  
“Yes, he pretty much pleaded me to return- he's the one that convinced me that Manhattan was my home...” her voice broke a bit, “...and that all of you missed me, but the case, Arthur-”  
“Don't say that monster's name-”  
“-and all the other stuff, it made me realize that home is where I am, and who I interact with, and bond with. I want that with all of you, in a family way. I have that with Dodds in a more romantic way, who, speaking of which wanted to know what 'we're' doing for the holidays...” she crossed her arms again out of nerves.  
“Carisi dropped his paper next to the stack of other notes, “You weren't going back to England, were you?”  
“No, Ronnie goes to visit a friend in Ireland, Alisha and Kate are with their parents, and Jacob Thorne muses over while he'll never have a normal family. You guys all have your own thing going on, I'll just find a really nice Chinese takeout place and have at it.”  
“Do you think Dodds wants a reason to spend the day with you? Carisi smiled, his internal sunshine returning, glowing from the inside out.  
“Yes, but what if he wants me to meet his friends? What'll I do? I'm so awkward around new people...”  
“Hey, you are not awkward...much.” Carisi teased, “...but wouldn't he be spending the day with his parents?”  
“I don't think him and his father get along much, he really hasn't brought them up since we started seeing each other. And there is no way he'd want me to meet them, I can visualize his father trying to kill me with a butter knife after I've made some unforeseeable cultural misstep. I've only met the man once, with Barba, and I completely understand why Mike isn't singing about our relationship to his family.” Quin rebutted as she recalled the standoffish nature of Chief Dodds.  
“I've known the sarge for a few months, he's loyal to his family, like I'm pretty sure its why he's in the force, but if he's willing to forgo being with them to be with you, it's not because he thinks you're not good enough, but because they're nuts.”  
Quin smiled, her mind flashing to Christmas morning, her and Mike in her apartment, cozy and snuggling all day in her bed, leaving only for food or to grab another blanket. Carisi saw the dreamy look on her face, “So why not just ask him to spend the day with you? Make him think of the excuse, it's his family after all...”  
Quin shook herself out of the day dream, “Right, so, this case with the wights, we know their calling card, but my contact back home sent me this file.” she opened her tablet and quickly got into the file- it showed several instances of various attacks documented over years.  
Carisi's eyes skimmed over it his brow wrinkling, then lifting up as he took the information in. “Crap, Quin, these guys mean business...”  
“Actually from the crime scene analysis, nearly all of them are women.” She tacked on.  
“What?!” Carisi turned his head to the side, “No way...” he stated in disbelief.  
“From the average height, punch index, and bare bones psych profiles, nearly all of them are women.” Quin reaffirmed her statement.  
“Bu-but women wouldn't do this?!”  
“Women can and are just as violent as men, womanhood doesn't give someone the proclivity to forgo being a violent person-”  
“-I know, I didn't mean it like that-it's, I just-”  
“-you know a lot of good women, Benson, Rollins, your mother, your sisters. It's hard to you to view that aspect of humanity in women...you're rather blessed in an odd sort of way.”  
Carisi nodded, “Guess I know a lot of good women...so with them being women, is it gonna be harder to analyze them? Most criminal databases are chalk full of men, not too many women.”  
“Yes and no, the intel suggests that the previous interpretation of 'lovingly withheld' isn't singular; these women are psychologically being held from society, not just physically. Look at this case, the force needed to break through the door typically doesn't fall within parameters of what a typical woman can do, yet, it was discovered on the scene that the wight at this location was wearing a hearing device with the sound of an infant crying.”  
“That wight could have recently given birth and they're using the sound of her baby to manipulate her?!” Carisi fumed, the thought of his sister Bella being in that situation playing out in his mind.  
“So far, that's what my contact back home thinks, but if you're part of a secret terrorist organization that is preventing you from living a normal life, emotional manipulation would make sense, but also having a facility that would allow you to carry a child safely to term, would be a must.”  
“Why carry a kid to term?”  
“You can be a terrorist and pro-life, that and if these women are suffering emotional and physical manipulation, they could not completely have a say about it. But, back to the facility, or the need for one, I believe we need to scout out any abandoned hospitals or other buildings with the capacity for a medical setup. The wights do take care of their own, that's the appeal for anyone who has lost it all.”  
“I'll text the Lieutenant and let her know we may have something...” Carisi said as he rapid fire texted Benson, who sent back 'bring it home, and get ready to present'  
“Well, lets do this.” Quin said as they back up their things and made their way to the precinct.

 

Carisi and Quin made their way back to the precinct and began to prepare their presentation. Carisi went into Benson's office to fill her in on what they have untangled, as Quin chatted with Finn.  
“So it looks like you and Carisi got some work done on that gang stuff?” he asked, looking up from his computer screen.  
“Yes, we did, it was nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of.” she sat her briefcase down as Dodds and a very unamused Chief Dodds walked into the squad room.  
“Looks like the fun is over-” Fin mused as he stood up, “good to see you again, chief”  
Chief Dodds glared at him, then looked at Quin.  
“ADA Montgomery, what are you doing here? Shouldn't Barba be chucking cases at you so you can cut more teeth?” the chief scoffed as Dodds hid his frustration with his father the best he could.  
“It's good to see you chief, lieutenant Benson as asked me to assist with this case concerning the letter found on the man who attacked Barba.”  
Chief Dodds looked her over, “Fair enough, we could use all hands on deck, but it'll be interesting to see if you kicked anything up.”  
Quin felt her nerves skittering over her body, “I'm assuming you're staying for the presentation?”  
The chief chuckled, “I'm not here for a social visit, councilor.”  
Thankfully Benson and Carisi exited her office and everyone made their way to the meeting room. Carisi and Quin stood before the other four and the detective quickly hooked up her tablet to the large flat screen TV.  
“We have reason to believe that a UK terrorist organization, the wights, are behind the content of the letter, along with parts of its composition. The wights go by a calling card,” Quin glanced at the chief, who looked unimpressed, but continued, “this textual cue, 'lovingly withheld' speaks to the methodology and nature of the organization- both physically and psychologically holding its members from the corporal world and in both ways giving them a stronghold to hide in.” she looked at Carisi who continued.  
“From the crime scene the wights have been in back in the UK, we think they could be setting up shop here-”  
“-why here?” Finn butted in.  
“-Like London, NYC is a large city, so it would have a similar feeling to it. Also, they could be here temporarily until they move on.” Quin replied.  
Carisi returned to his point, “And from the physical evidence picked up from the crime scenes, and the analytic work the British Secret service did, most, it not all of the wights are women.”  
“Wait, wait, wait- you're telling me that a gang of women committed these crimes?” the chief spat out, “That's, that's-” he looked at Benson, who face calmly looked back at him, daring him to finish his thought.  
Quin interjected, “-Yes from the physical evidence, it points to women.”  
“But why?” Dodds asked, “what are they getting from it?”  
“An excuse to do whatever they want.” Finn added.  
“Yes and no, one of the wights in a more recent case back home left behind a hearing device with prerecorded sound of an infant crying at the crime scene.” Carisi replied.  
“So they're pregnant women?” Finn questioned.  
“Some of them could have recently given birth. If the wights can give their members anything they wish, some of them could have wished for a baby, and that child could be used against them, to continue their work for the organization.”  
“Mental and physical manipulation...” Benson trailed off.  
“What about the letter? The only crimes on that thing are child rapes and sexual assaults.” Dodds asked.  
Quin looked at him, “I should have picked up that the letter was a ruse. Upon reexamining the case files from my contact back home, the only thing that connects the crimes committed by the wights, aside from the fact that they are mostly committed by women, is that they have never sexually assaulted any person, and rape is off the table for them completely.”  
“It's completely out of bounds.” Carisi added.  
“So, we should be looking for rape victims...” Benson softly said, her brown eyes showing how her heart was breaking for the wights.  
“Exactly, and any British women between the ages of 20 and 38, and those parameters, who were...” Quin felt the flash of a memory returning to her, Arthur was groping her, a voice screaming, “Leave her alone!” echoed in her head.  
“Quin?” Benson's voice came to the foreground, as Quin came out of the flash.  
“...were raped as women, or when they were children...um, excuse me, I'm not feeling that well.” Quin quickly paced away from them and headed to the nearest restroom. She fled into a stall, sat down and held her head in her hands. She flashed back into the moment, her friend with bright red hair, wiping past her face, as Arthur swung at her.  
“Tomas!” Quin's young voice called out- the moment gone before she could process it.  
Tomas, why now..she's a... Quin heard Tomas pleading for Arthur to spare her, the set, the cameras on, Tomas screaming, Arthur's groans.  
Tears weld up in Quins eyes, the haunting memory of Tomas being attacked, sparing her from the assault with her own body. Why this?! Why now?! Quin begged her memory, “Make it stop, go away!” she whispered as her body rocked back and forth.  
“Quin?!” Benson called out from the other side of the restroom's door, “Everything , alright?”  
Quin wiped her face and collected herself, No, Tomas has nothing to do with this she thought, opening the stall door and then leaving the restroom. She opened the door, her eyes met with Benson's, and she was met with another soul that understood and aspect of the pain she was experiencing, to some extent.  
“ You okay? You just froze for a good minute up there.” Benson's soothing maternal voice cloaked around Quin's body, actual concern for her was evident.  
“Uh, yeah, I'm fine, just really tired, and I feel guilty taking up so much time.”  
“Don't feel that way, it's almost 8pm, why don't I have the sergeant take you home. Carisi is gonna take Barba home to make sure he's safe, so the sergeant can stay with you for a little while, if you want him to.”  
Quin nodded, “Yeah, okay...please tell the chief that I'm sorry I wasted his time-”  
“-that's how Chief Dodds always is, but we'll get this case solved. Maybe afterwards you can take some personal time, have the sergeant take you out to the country?” Benson smiled.  
Quin's face went bright red, “Oh no, I'd go alone-” she stammered.  
“Everyone knows that you're dating, except for the chief, I don't care as long as it doesn't impact work.” Benson flagged Dodds over, “Sergeant, how about you take Quin home?” her eyes smiling at both of them.  
“Of course.” Dodds replied in the most professional sounding tone he could muster, “It'll just be a moment, the chief needs me for something.” he walked over to his father, then went into an interview room with him, the door shutting with a very audible slam.  
“That's not good...” Benson said as she tapped Quin's shoulder and went back over to Carisi and Finn.  
Great, he's gonna get chewed out because of me. Quin chided herself as she found a chair and took a seat, waiting for Dodds.


	8. Explosion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tempers flare, bits collide and an explosion between lovers reaches a frenzied peak.
> 
> Barisi, sweet sweet Barisi. It's here.
> 
> Enjoy and thank you for checking this thing out.

The door slammed with an audible thud, his old man only did that when he was pissed off. This wasn’t going to be a talk about holiday plans, Dodds felt it in his bones. His old man’s baby blues stared into his soul, as he opened his mouth.  
“Mike, why did Hank Abraham visit me the other day?” the chief curtly inquired.  
Dodds tried to steal himself from the verbal barrage culminating in his father’s mind, “I couldn’t tell you…” he calmly replied. He knew he sounded like a smart ass, but he didn’t care, but he did.  
“Apparently, Abraham, the gift that keeps on giving says he saw you and that mousy ADA at an art gallery together.” his father huffed.  
Dodds felt his hands turn into fists, but fought to keep his cool, “I went to it with her, Ethan gave me tickets and I didn’t want to turn him down, ADA Montgomery was free that day and she wanted to see the exhibition.”  
The chief scoffed, “Mike, seriously?” he raised an eyebrow, “he saw you being very friendly together, romantic friendly, wanna come clean about that?” the tension mounting in the chief’s voice almost took over his words.  
Dodds quickly ran his hand through his hair, “No, because there isn’t anything to come clean about, and why are you even concerned with the nonsense Hank spits out?!” he failed to check his anger, he felt like he was in high school all over again, being caught with a mathlete instead of a cheerleader, and his dad trying to sway him to the same kind of women he liked.  
“For Christ’s sake, she’s an ADA, why throw away everything you’ve worked for, for…” the chief’s anger flustering him, “…for some broad like her?! She’s not even your type, which is pretty, remember, Vanessa?”  
Mike openly rolled his eyes, “Vanessa couldn’t count past one hundred, and I only dated her because you think that the only kind of woman who’d be into me is pretty and dumb!”  
The chief stepped closer to his son, matching his posturing and making it clear he was in charge, “You are a member of a prominent family, why are you dating some nerd? She’s able to run laps around you mentally, why put yourself in that position? You know she’ll just find some Mensa dork and run off with him, and with a prettier woman, you’re in control, you call the shots. What, is Benson not letting you delegate to the others, so you think you’ve gotta grovel to get any kind of attention? Mike, you’ve got your pick of fish in the ocean, I just can’t help but wonder why you’re looking at-“  
“-a wonderful and intelligent woman?” Mike scoffed. “You really are terrified of me meeting someone who is smarter than you, than me, who can see through all of your crap!”  
“You do realize you’re talking to your boss’s boss, right? I like Liv, but if it means putting her through hell to get you back on track, to pull your head out of your ass, I’ll do it.” The chief glared at him.  
Dodds knocked over a chair, his father’s insults about Quin, Benson, and the squad infuriating him past his control. A smile crossed over the chief’s face.  
“I get it now, she lets you knock her around? She put up with your tantrums?” he sneered, “you need to focus on your image, your family’s image. We’re a five generation legacy damnit, start acting like it…” he hissed as he was about to walk away, but Dodds grabbed his arm.  
“I forgot, that’s why you left mom, huh? She wasn’t pretty enough for you to drag around anymore. I guess using and discarding women happens to be the one thing I didn’t get from you.” Dodds icy reply shot through the chief, sending him into a rage.  
“Enough! End it, because if Abraham takes it past me, I can’t do anything about it!” the chief spat out.  
“No!” Dodds eyes softened. Even contemplating leaving Quin felt like scooping out his soul and leaving it behind, discarded in a trash bin. He struggled to speak further, and his father took the chance to go in for the kill.  
“Oh, damn it Mike, don’t tell me that you’re in love with her? Good God, what did I teach you?” the chief mocked, “you were always so tender hearted, it ruined you…at least your brother can toughen up.”  
Dodds flashed to his epic screw up younger brother, who was once more going through police academy training. Of course the little brother whose ass I protected is your favorite! Dodds thought as his father moved his arm out of his grip. He attempted to rebut his father’s insults, but the moment he opened his mouth, his father shouted, “Shut It!”  
Both men know the entire precinct was eavesdropping in on their conversation, yet attempted to present to the other that they didn’t care.  
The chief took in a deep breath, exhaled, and coldly added, “get rid of her, then, once you do, let me know where you are going for the holidays…Sheila’s making a roast.” He took a stride past his son and slammed the door again. Absolute rage flowed through Dodds’ body; he hated how his father could be so enthusiastic about his professional future with Benson and SVU, but matters of the heart were disgusting to him. He fought the urge to break every piece of furniture in the room, and barely registered Quin walking, her hand resting on his chest, trying to console him.  
He reached up and put his hand over hers, aware that she knew how angry he was, “Let’s get you home.” He spoke as he walked past her, hearing her footsteps as she followed him.  
The chief was standing, waiting for the elevator as he locked eyes with Quin. Carisi happened to be glancing up at the same moment, and kept eyes on them both. The chief tugged at his uniform, trying to reassure himself he was actually in charge when he called out, “ADA Montgomery, a word?”  
A shiver went down her spine, as she looked at Mike, then walked towards his father. Her palms sticky with sweat, Mike had alluded to his father being intimidating, but now she understood perfectly as she was in the cross-hairs of his unnerving aura. Keep calm, you’ve gotta be strong for Mike, it can’t be easy for him, she thought as she stood before the chief. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Carisi watching her and she felt an ease wash over her.  
The chief stared into her eyes, they had a cold, cruel feel to them. His voice tersely said in hushed growl, “keep away from my son, he has bigger and better things to do with his time, besides you…” he looked her up and down, the same way that so many other men had done in the past, like she was property, and not a human being deserving any respect.  
“E..e…excuse you?” she questioned back, her voice softer than she wanted it to be. She wanted her rage to lash out at the bastard. How dare you make your own son ashamed to be with me?! She screamed in her mind as she turned around and looked at Mike, who wasn’t able to do anything to help her. Why aren’t you do anything Mike, this isn’t you… her mind pleaded.  
The chief got right into her face, “You heard me, go find some weakling to waste your time on, leave the officers to real women--”  
“EXCUSE YOU?!” Carisi shouted as he rushed to her side and stared down at the Chief.  
“Carisi!” Benson shouted from her door, but her voice was muted by the sound of blood pumping though his ears.  
“Detective--”the chief was cut off by Carisi’s passionate rant.  
“First of all, how you gonna insult someone that your own blood and flesh loves, at where they work, huh? Second of all, how are you going to insult one of, if not the greatest ADA that SVU has ever had?!” Carisi poked the chief in the chest and brought his rant into the home stretch, “Finally, how dare you dictate who gets to love who, huh? She’s a wonderful being, a perfect woman, and incredible, so apparently you don’t want that for your son, huh?!”  
The chief’s eyes narrowed, “apparently you wanted a month of desk duty with no overtime pay, detective.” He hissed at Carisi, then locked eyes with Benson, and glared at his son as the elevator door opened and a very confused Barba walked out. Barba looked at the chief, Quin, but stopped at Carisi.  
“Detective, ready to take me home?” Barba non chalantly inquired.  
Carisi turned and looked at Barba, “Absolutely” and stepped into the elevator with him, and glared at the chief as the doors closed before him. The chief muttered under his breath, and turned towards the nearest staircase and briskly left the bullpen.  
Quin held back tears as Dodds continued to stand still. She knew he felt the fifty pairs of eyes on her and himself as the precinct wasn’t able to comprehend that a lanky Carisi had gone toe to toe with the chief, but his own son, a sturdy man in his own right, did nothing.  
She stormed off in the opposite direction the chief had taken, her face red with shame and fury.  
“Quin, wait!” Dodds pleaded as he ran after her. She briskly walked down the staircase, blurry steps in her line of sight, the only way for her to get out of there. She felt his strong hand in the crook of her arm, gently stopping her mid step. A grim sort of silence was amplified in the stairwell, and in her heart, as it pumped a flux of emotions through her being.  
HOW DARE YOU DO NOTHING! She wanted to berate him with her emotions. He just took the insults like she did. Is it even fair to scream at him, it’s all his father did to him as a kid, why put him through that? She pondered as she took in a breath in.  
IT'S MORE THAN FAIR, HE DID NOTHING! Her emotions wailed in her head again, yet her clamped mouth locked them in, a cruel warden to the jailed criminal thoughts. Again she took in a breath and let it out, looked at him and let her tears fall.  
“Quin…I’m…” he started, his own eyes reflecting her hurt back to her along with his own.  
“No…I’m sorry…I was under the impression that-“ her lips collapsed around the sentence, swallowing up the anger, holding it inside, letting it burn her.  
“…I’m so, so sorry…” his voice barely audible.  
“Me too…” she pulled her arm away. As horrific as it was for her to make him feel pain, not having him back her up was a huge wound festering in her mind. Would he always be hesitant to speak up for her, would he believe the nonsense his father told him? No, don’t take it there, but get away, get away and think it over… she begged herself as she continued walking down the stairs. Dodds followed her, showering her with a litany of praises, stumbling over his feelings for her, his heart punctured with wounds and bleeding emotions down on her, yet, it felt inferior. Her own rage cloaking her ability to feel the sincerity she knew he was expressing. Her empathic sense was overloaded; between his love for her, her anger, his father’s anger, it was too much to handle.  
She turned around and looked at him, his blue eyes pleading for her to placate his fears, and said, “I just need to be alone this weekend, I’ll have someone else escort me home.” She continued to walk down the stairs.  
“Quin, I can’t have you leave without...” he swallowed hard, “please…” he reached out for her arm again, and attempted to pull her closer to him. The sensation of being knocked around by Arthur flickered through her mind and she pulled away from him, turning her body and stumbled down the last few steps, twisting her ankle. “Damn it!” she shouted, then began crying.  
He stood still, looking at her. The realization that she was not only hurt from his inability to defend her from his father, but something else that he couldn’t quite make out. She was successful, intelligent, insightful, but the way she was crying, it was like a wounded child weighted down by adult expectations crushing her soul. He carefully approached her, “Quin, please let me look at your ankle.” He knelt down next to her as she continued to cry.  
“Its fine, I’m fine…” she let slip through sobs. She tried to stand up but fell down into his arms. Dodds slowly stood up and held her.  
“Let’s get you home, I can wrap your ankle once we get there.” He gently spoke as he helped her down the rest of the staircase.  
All he wants is to make it up to you, let him take you home, Quin thought as they made their way to the car, got in, and drove away.

 

The elevator doors shut and Barba locked eyes with Carisi, who was still furious over Chief Dodds words to Quin.  
“You, you okay?” worry reflected in the ADA’s voice and Carisi picked up on it. He let out a breath, “How could the sarge say nothing to defend her, she’s dealing with so much and his dad just cuts her down, like that!” Carisi swiped his arm through the space before him.  
“Like you didn’t see this coming? Chief Dodds is very old boys club and those boys enjoy their pretty little women.” Barba replied as the elevator doors opened and Carisi stepped out with him.  
“The thing that really kills me, he just stood there, then took it, like he can’t do anything without his dad’s permission…its depressing and infuriating. I can’t even begin to get how Quin feels, she puts herself out there and Dodds just lets his dad crush her.” Carisi added, opening the passenger side door for Barba, who got in. He walked over to the driver’s side and got in, situating himself.  
“I wouldn’t sell Montgomery short, chances are she’s putting him through the paces right now. As much as I hate empathy, I have to confess to understanding where Dodds is coming from. It’s a bear to stand up to your old man, not to say that he should get a free pass for being a statue in her time of need, but…Carisi, you get along with your folks, right?”  
Carisi looked over at Barba, he had never inquired about any personal details from his life before and felt a hot flash come over him.  
“If I’ve hit a nerve Carisi, no need to elaborate.”  
“No…uh, no…I get along with them just fine, it’s just they kinda don’t know…”  
“-that you’re bi?”  
The flush splashed over Carisi’s face as Barba’s mouth turned into a neat smirk.  
“…Carisi, did you really think I didn’t feel your hand on my shoulder the other day? Or that it was odd that I didn’t exactly brush it off right away?” the older man’s grey eyes flashed at him.  
“I guess you’d get to it sooner or later,” Carisi stumbled, as they closed in on Barba’s apartment. It was the second time in a week that he gave Barba a lift home and with his annoyance over how Quin had been treated dwindling, he turned his focus to the prospect of actually making a move on Barba. He pulled the car into a parking spot nearby and put it into park. His hands gripped the steering wheel as Barba looked at him. The intense circulation of blood was no longer from anger, but instead passion, and Carisi saw Barba’s eyes pick up on it.  
“So…now that we know you’re on the market and we can put the day behind us, night cap detective?” the smirk reemerged as Carisi took his hands off the steering wheel and rested them on his lap  
Night cap? Me? Rafi…? His thoughts swished about his head as Barba got out of the car, walked to his door, and opened it.  
“The offer is quickly vanishing.” Barba commented, holding his hand out, a smile on his face.  
Carisi couldn’t recall the last time that he’d seen Barba smile, and stood most of the way up, as Barba pulled him into a kiss. It was uncharacteristically gentle and conservative, which caused Carisi to feel his knees buckle. Once Barba was satisfied, he let Carisi stand up and looked into his eyes, “Its’ been a long week detective, I need to blow off some steam and it’s been a long time since I found someone worthwhile.”  
“Oh, yeah, just blowing off steam…” Carisi breathlessly replied as Barba took him by the hand and led him up the three flights of stairs, sneaking small slips of his tongue into the stunned man’s mouth every few steps, the lust bubbling between them. The whole time they traversed the stairs, Carisi’s brain and groin were without enough blood to work both sufficiently at the same time.  
They made their way to his apartment door, Carisi felt Barba’s arm around his waist as the ADA unlocked the door with the other and both men tumbled in.  
Do I want this, like this? I mean, I thought it would happen over dinner, staring into his eyes, making that connection…but… Carisi thought, moments before Barba’s mouth returned to his and he felt the other man’s hands find his belt buckle and unbuckle it. If he’s just blowing off steam, he isn’t serious, maybe he’ll never want…  
Carisi’s mind drew a blank as Barba’s hand began to tease him with slow, long caresses from the base to the tip of his member. “B-Barba!” Carisi stumbled over his name, his member sticky with pre-cum.  
“Sonny, let’s drop the formalities at least this evening, hmm?” The lawyer asked, as his breath teased Sonny’s ear as a hoarse, “Rafael” escaped the lanky man’s mouth.  
A frenzy of clothes flying of each man, hands grabbing and reaching for one another, disrobing and stripping down to nothing, each one of them nude. Carisi felt Barba’s hand go through his hair, releasing it from its gel prison, a strand falling down into his face as he tossed Barba’s tie on to the ground.   
Barba pinned Sonny against the wall right outside of his bed room, able to hold the taller man against it as his tongue found a clavicle and sent Carisi into a frenzy; hundreds of nerves came alive with its contact. Barba pulled Sonny into a steamy kiss, then opened his bedroom door and playfully shoved him in. Carisi’s body fell right onto the lawyer’s bed, profoundly soft bed, and his body relaxed. Barba climbed on him, and both men explored each other. Carisi felt Barba’s erection against his hip bone and he felt his own swell as he grinded against him. They moved together for several moments, the slow burn of desire being passed through each man with every bit of contact, when Barba stopped and looked down at him, brushing a blonde strand of hair out of Carisi's eyes.  
“I have to admit, having you here…it’s been on my mind lately.” The older man confessed as he stared into Carisi’s eyes. “I know you’ve had a thing for me for a while, so it’s only fair that you get to know the truth, that it isn’t just a one way thing.”  
Carisi’s blue eyes grew large, “you…you like me too?!” he forced out, his erection rock hard from the confirmation that his crush felt the same way.  
Barba’s face wore a scarlet red blush, “Yes…” he fumbled over his affirmation, and stood up with his hands on his hips, “Roll over detective.” He coyly said, raising his eyebrows, a smile on his face and his erection rock hard.  
Carisi smiled and rolled over, on to his stomach as he felt Barba’s hands pull his bottom closer towards his waist. Carisi heard Barba let out a small chuckle, relishing in the shape of his bottom, caress it, and then heard a condom wrapper rip open. Barba lubed himself and guided his member into Carisi.  
It was a fullness that no other device could even attempt to replicate and to Carisi it was better than anything he could have imagined. Barba started slowly, making sure Carisi could handle all of him, but once Sonny’s moans gave him the confirmation he needed, Barba began to go faster and faster.  
“Yes, Rafi, yes!” Carisi moaned as Barba continued to thrust into him quickly. He pushed his hips against his lover's and after a few moments, felt Barba’s hand reaching around, and stroking his member in unison with every thrust, the return of the methodical stroke welcomed with closed palm.  
Barba quickened his pace and came, but not without crying out, “Sonny!” and collapsing on top of the detective, who immediately came afterwards, releasing an impassioned, “Rafi!” from his lips.  
Both men were unable to move a moment or two after their encounter, but Carisi felt Barba’s breath on his ear, his voice husky with desire, ask, “Stay tonight, won’t you?”  
He felt a grin come over his face, “Well, you are on top of me…” Carisi teased.  
Barba cupped the younger man’s bottom, pinched it, and replied, “So that’s a yes?” as he pulled out of Sonny and walked to his bathroom to clean up. He strolled back in and saw a passed out, buck naked Sonny, ass up, stomach down asleep on his bed.  
A smile found a place on Barba’s face, “that’ll be a yes...” and joined him, holding Sonny close and feeling the exhausted detective flank an arm around him. Barba turned off the light and promptly fell asleep.

 

Inside of the car a tension sat between them. Quin was feeling the pain in her ankle and on edge about being so cold to Dodds. Her mind mused over a way to initiate conversation, as she caught sight of him looking at her. She turned away, ashamed of how the days events had turned out, and folded her arms over her chest, shifting in her seat, a small amount of pain in her ankle serving as a proper sort of punishment for her earlier behavior, at least to her.  
“We'll be at your place soon...can we...?” he started, as he pulled into her apartment's parking garage.  
“...I'm sorry.” Quin apologized, wanting to touch his shoulder, any part of him to reconnect and know everything was alright, but she held back.  
Dodds parked the car and looked at her, “I know, I'm sorry too, I really am. Not saying anything to my father, I-” he held her hand, “I want you to know that, I want to be with you, even if my old man is a complete ass about it...Lets get you inside, I'll help you out.”   
He walked over to her door, opened it, and wrapped his left arm around her waist as they made their way to her place. Once inside, Quin hobbled to her room and changed into her pjs, as Mike took a seat on her couch. He heard a thud and rushed over to her room.  
“Quin?” he knocked on her door. She let out a groan and he opened the door, to see her on the floor, trying to get up. He mentally berated himself for not simply carrying her to her room, as he stepped towards her and looked at her.  
“I'm fine,” she winced as she struggled to get to her knees. Her arms felt fatigued as she attempted to get up again and failed.  
“Quin, let me help you up, please.” Dodds asked. She looked at him, nodded, and before she knew it, he picked her up and laid her down on her bed, like she weighed nothing. Is this how normal women feel when someone picks them up? She thought as he returned with an ankle wrap and an ice pack. Her face reddened at the thought of him caring for her as he took her ankle and began to wrap it. Slowly his hands worked around her ankle, and she already felt better.   
“That should help.” he said, a smile returning to his face as he put the ice pack on her ankle and rested a pillow under it.  
“Thank you...” Quin weakly replied. She fell back on her bed, her head crashing into one of her pillows. The exhaustion of the day finally hitting her body, forcing her to be aware of it.  
“...Are we okay?” he shyly signaled as sat next to her on the edge of the bed, his right hand beginning to throb in pain again.  
She looked up at him, “Yes, we are...I should have stood up to your father too, you weren't kidding when you said he was unnerving, I was sweating bullets around the guy.” she stroked his red tie with her right hand, feeling how soft it was and how strong he was, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took.  
“It's not your job to stand up to my old man, it's mine, but we know what I'll do next time...” he grimaced and held his right hand with his left, his face unsuccessful with holding back the pain.  
“Have you been attending to that? Mike, you look like you're in a boat load of pain...if you grab my first aid kit, I can look at it for you. I had a friend in pre-med when I was at uni, lovely lass, taught me loads.” care hung in her tone as her blue eyes canvassed his face.  
Mike walked over to her bathroom, and pulled out the first aid bag she had the ankle wrap stashed away in, and carried over with his left hand, letting out a small groan of pain as he sat down on the bed. Quin sat up and slowly unwrapped his hand with extreme care. The smaller nicks that were on his hand had healed, but the larger lesion was red and swollen.  
“It looks infected, what kind of hospital did Barba take you to?!” she proclaimed, as she found a small container of anti-septic and opened it. “I've gotta wash my hands before I put this on you, excuse me...” she hopped out of bed and made her way to the bathroom, the sound of running water hitting his ears as she scrubbed her hands clean. She dried them, hopped back to his side, and then began putting the anti-septic on the wound with a clean cotton tipped stick. He let out a groan as the anti-septic began working and bit his lip, to contain his pain.  
“Okay, now that's all over and done with, let's get you a new bandage...” Quin looked around her bag and saw that she had one last large bandage, and put it over the wound, making sure that she didn't touch it with her hand, using the cotton tipped stick to place it along with a pair of tweezers. She then slowly wrapped his hand and tied it gently with just enough pressure to keep it closed. “All better, I can look at it tomorrow morning, when you wake up...here that is...if you want, that is.” she tucked a runaway bit of hair behind her ear, her face flushed.  
His face beamed as he moved closer to her, his left hand framing her face as he sweetly kissed her.  
“So, that's a yes then?” she flirted, her hand reaching for his tie, pulling him closer to her.  
“It is...very much so.” he replied as he leaned and allowed her to passionately kiss him. Her tongue darted into his mouth as he mounted her, a giggle escaping her mouth. She looked up at him and chuckled, “we're both on the wounded list...how are we going to...” she felt his hand wrap around her waist, lifting her bottom half closer to his and allowing her to feel his erection swelling under his suit pants.  
“You have a genius IQ and I'm the muscle, we've got this...” a grin came over his face.  
“We're both intelligent people and I did kinda knock out three guys...sort of...before you came in and backed me up. It's a fifty fifty toss up!--” she gasped as he took both hands and squeezed her bottom which sent a quiver through her whole being. His kiss took her breath away as his tongue swirled around her mouth. She savored the moment but stopped the kiss, needing to know, “so, logistics here, missionary or something less intense? Something more intense?” her coy expression making him nibble on her earlobe, which in turn released a pant from her mouth.  
“Oh--!” she moaned as she felt herself getting wet.  
“Why not both?” he coyly countered, his hand no longer in pain but his member throbbing as the head pressed through his pants and against her, pleading to be let in.  
“Both, or all the above sounds like a very logical course of action to take...” she answered as they began to strip clothing off of each other, allowing their passion to guide them into a evening of intimacy.  
They tumbled with caution, thrust with desire, and embraced after every climax their connection brought them. Into the morning hours they bonded, both of them convinced they would stand the test of time, neither of them aware how time was moving in the shadows of their lives, stalking them before dawn.

Outside her bedroom window, a bit of long, flowing red hair whipped in the wind, a gloved hand gripping the ledge, and a single emerald green eye looking in. She was fuming, she was on time with her targets in sight. 

"Here I come, Quinie..." she sang out, a smile on her red lips.


	9. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A past torment comes to light as Quin and others are taken by the wights.
> 
> Cute Barisi moment to lighten the mood!
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Emerald green irises gazed at her own reflection in the vanity mirror, and noticed the glint and shimmer of her long red hair picked up from the lighting in her room. Bits of gold and blood orange coloring caught her eyes as she methodically began to brush her hair, admiring the silky look of it. Her vanity was the only piece of furniture in her room that didn't look medical or run down, so she spent most of her time before it.  
I've always had good hair Tomas thought to herself, as a smile made a sneak peek on her face, then vanished as the door to her makeshift room opened. A slender woman, with hazel eyes and a scowl on her face strutted into the room, her heels clacking in a manner that matched her disposition. She stood directly behind Tomas and crossed her arms over her own chest.  
“They wanna see you, they won't listen to me...” she growled, running her hand through the ginger woman's hair.  
“Patrice, guh! I just got it right!” Tomas shouted with her strained voice, she was drained after a long day of work.  
“My apologies” Patrice mustered a flat apology and took a step back, letting the taller woman stand up before her vanity.  
Tomas rolled her eyes, “Fine, I'll go talk to them, again...” she wrapped a robe around her nightgown, which strained against the shape of her full, broad shoulders and cursed her form. She wanted a more womanly shape, but her stature did give her a commanding aura her counterpart didn't possess.   
Tomas slipped on her slippers and barged down the hallway, making a sharp right into the adjacent room and sat down at a a desk with a single laptop situated on a video call, and glared at the two men on the other end of it. One of the men was older, at least in his mid thirties, with blue eyes, glasses, and a snarky grimace on his face. That look was all to familiar to her, the 'oh boy, here's a tranny' look that mocked her consistently. It didn't matter who was making the face, it was there around every corner, following her regardless of where she was. The other man had dark, dark brown hair, brown eyes that looked sunken into his skull and very pale skin. He didn't give Tomas the look, but it had to do with him being less interested in her looks than speaking with her.  
“This isn't gonna work for us!” the other man spat out, then looked to the older man for immediate approval and continued, “We need her! The one who is a dead ringer for Ariel! Now!” his whiny tone stabbed Tomas in her ear, and she openly rolled her eyes.  
“I've delivered two out of the four to you, it's only been a week. These things take time, kidnapping a person isn't as easy as video games make it look you know...” she rasped her fingers on the desk, demonstrating her annoyance with this call.  
The older man butted in, “The promise we made to our fans was for the gauntlet to take place in four days, we need time to get them into character, it has to be believable or else we're both out a shit load of money.”  
“I get that, but your precious Ariel is constantly guarded; if you two morons hadn't chucked bricks at her boss' office, we'd be in a far better situation!” Tomas gritted through her teeth. I could have taken her out for lunch, caught up with her, held her, loved her... she thought.  
“Our agreement was your place for her face! She's the only one who will do! In four days it'll be the anniversary of the series' release, the timing couldn't be any better! Get her! Get her now!” the brown eyed man child fussed.  
“Fine, I'll try to get past her place tonight, but if that guy is there again...it'll be a challenge. He's an experienced sergeant with combat training, and he screams total 'bro' material, if you get my point.” Tomas sassed back to them.  
The older man busted out his tablet and pulled up a picture, then turned it towards Tomas, “You know, he looks like Wilson, the way the author describes him- well built, chestnut brown hair, weird ass nose- if you get both of them, I'll toss in an extra five thousand, what do ya say?” his new jersey accent popped through his wager, nearly making it believable to Tomas.  
“I'll see what I can do, but I make no prom-”  
“Get her!!” the man child wailed. The older man smacked him across the mouth.  
“Jesus dude, shut the fuck up, you'll get to screw her before the gauntlet begins...seriously...”  
“Wait- WHAT?!” Tomas shouted, “My organization doesn't play that way-”  
“Manhattan SVU would seem to disagree with your statement, our letter made it clear-”  
“--LETTER?! What fucking letter?!” Tomas shouted, her hands in fists on the desk, her back arched as she loomed over the laptop.  
“Shit...” the older man said, running a hand through his , “Look, in order to match the story's plot and for our own insurance that you'd deliver on your promise, we asked that thin Latina gal--”  
“--the one who wouldn't go out on a--” the man child leaped in.  
“--dude, she ain't gonna date you!” the older man took control of the conversation again, “we asked the thin Latina gal to send over one of your letter heads, which she did, and we recreated the list the inspector from the Peppido district sends to Ariel, for accuracy's sake, so--”  
“WHAT?!! ARE YOU FREAKING JOKING?! This is real life you morons, your fingerprints are all over that!” Tomas bellowed, nearly flipping the desk over with her fists pounding on the desk, “WHY?!”  
“It ties into the story, don't yell at us! Also, I did make him wear gloves while writing on it and holding it, I'm not a complete moron.” the older blue eyed man curtly shot back.  
“PATRICE!” Tomas hollered. The slender Latina ran into the room, her eyes darting around, scoping out the scene, and then filled with horror as Tomas grabbed the back of her head.  
“Gah!!” Patrice wailed  
“What in God's name were you thinking, giving these tools our mission statement?!” Tomas grilled her, pulling on Patrice's long black curly locks.   
Patrice's eyes watered, “They said you okayed it, you were out getting the inspector, that spindly Jewish guy-AGH!- I'm sorry!” she continued to wail as Tomas pulled harder on her hair.  
“Oh,” the man child interjected, “turns out he's actually an inspector, no wait, investigator with the district attorney's office, so thanks.” his pale face beamed with a smile.  
“Ugh...” Tomas let go of Patrice's hair, but not without taking a chunk of it.  
“Ow!” she cried out, holding her hair around her head and neck like it was security blanket.  
Tomas turned back to the laptop, “you'll get Ariel, and that Wilson guy, but I want ten thousand, in cash!”   
“Fine,” the older man said, as the younger one whimpered, “ten thousand in cash, paid when they arrive. We've gotta go, call when you have 'em.” the video chat screen went black and Tomas slammed the laptop closed.  
“SON OF A BITCH!” she kicked the folding chair hard, sending it across the room. Patrice flinched in her spot. Tomas locked eyes on her, “Why? Why?! Never ever are you to give out anything they can trace back to us, we're supposed to be ghost like for fuck's sake! It's my call and mine alone, damnit!”  
Fear solidified in Patrice's eyes, “I...I...I'm sorry!” she trembled.  
Tomas flashed back to her childhood. Her friend would tremble too, in his room, while she stood there naked for him, shivering. Tomas saw through the keyhole, her friend's beautiful body, envy sweeping through her. Why can't I look like that? Tears would fall down her cheeks.  
She shook her head, the memory crumbling, and then stormed out of the room. Patrice stood there, and wrapped her arms around herself.  
“Patrice!” Tomas shouted, and the woman ran after her, her footsteps smacking the tiles of the corridor.

 

Rollins sat in her bed, mentally dulled from a seven hour marathon of Baker's dozen, which was more compelling then she let herself admit. She glanced over at a book she had tried to start reading, several times -Running the gauntlet- that Carisi has been fanboying about a few months back. She thought it was rather gruesome and couldn't comprehend how Carisi had any time to read it, especially with his work and school schedules, let alone why in the hell he'd read such a dark novel. The clerk at her book store agree with its gruesomeness, apparently she had picked up the special edition re-release of it, which had a mini graphic novel prologue that had several parents up in arms about it, even more so than the original novel's release two years ago Rollins recalled the clerk's eyes as he looked at the book, then her, and scanned it. What a judgy prick she had thought when he gave her that look, but it made sense to her now.  
“Better read this thing, huh Franny girl?” Rollins glanced over at her dog, who cocked her head to the side with a puzzled look on her face. She giggled and opened the book, “Woah!” she gasped, startled by the mini graphic novel which preceded the actual novel itself. The realistic artwork impressed her; several of the characters looking like people she knew in real life, one of the male characters looked like an old friend of hers, the other like someone Benson hooked up with a while back and another like,   
“No way, spitting image of mini Dodds!” she said as she turned the page, and saw the main protagonist, Ariel Langston, strung up by her wrists, with various wounds on her person, and several men circled around her.  
“Ugh...” her stomach churned, her mind taking her back to her own assault and she shut the book. “No thank you...” she tossed the book on the other side of her bed and turned her TV back on. The obnoxious nature of the Baker clan was more inviting than the novel.  
“C'mere, c'mere Franny girl!” Rollins called her dog to her, and Franny obediently jumped on the bed and snuggled next to her as they watched more TV, and tuned out the darkness some more.

 

He woke up in Barba's bed, his blonde locks dangling in his line of sight. The sheets, soft against his whole body let his mind replay the events of last night. He felt Barba's hand on his bottom again, his breath on his ear, and arched his back in hope that for a fleeting moment, Barba would take him again. The moment passed and Carisi stretched out his limbs and smiled, Mission accomplished! He mused, he had hooked up with Rafael and it was more than he could have envisioned the night to be. Now what? He thought as he rolled onto his back and saw Barba sleeping soundly next to him. The way Barba's body was exposed, but still and lifeless scared Sonny for a second, until Rafael's eyes fluttered open. The older man groaned as his hands covered his face- blocking out the sunshine coming through the window.  
“Didn't I close those blinds?” Rafael muttered into his hands, his pinky and ring finger separated enough so his eye could look about. Once he caught Sonny in his sights, his eye grew in size.  
Sonny looked at him, and smiled while mimicking Barba's body language, which caused the man to groan again.  
“Did we...yes, of course we did...I don't just have random slumber parties...” Barba sheepishly replied, poorly hiding his excitement.  
“What, the blinds?” Sonny answered through his hands, his voice muffled by them, “You came to bed after me, remember?” he teased and rolled on his side as he dropped his hands from his face and began to caress Rafael's arm and stomach.  
“Yes, I did...so...” Rafael began, but struggled to find the correct words, as he ran his hands over his face.  
“So, last night was incredible!” Sonny gleefully gushed, as he continued to touch Rafael.  
The older man rolled his eyes, “No...yes...so, can you get the blinds, please...there is already too much...” a blush flashed over his face, but he continued, “...too much Sonn-shine in here...”  
Sonny's eyes grew, “Did you just give me a nickname...Rafi?” he gasped, as he flopped on top of Rafael, and showered him with kisses.  
“Sonny...” Rafael held back a giggle, the lanky detective's lips were smooching him all over his body, fleeting tickles he couldn't handle, “...Carisi...!” he tried to stop his lover by reverting back to their previous formality, but Sonny continued, his hands running along Rafael's sides.  
“Detective!” Rafael shouted as a perplexed Sonny looked down at him, sadness in his eyes.  
“Carisi,” Rafael began, “last night was amazing...and I have been thinking about it for a long time, but, we're...I mean...” the same flustered sensation he had earlier returned with vengeance as Sonny grinned at him.  
“I've got you Rafi, I can keep mum about this...” Sonny stood up, and Rafael allowed himself to visually drink in his nude form.  
“Where did you learn how to properly use the word 'mum'?” Rafael teased as Sonny stretched for him, a yawn escaping his mouth.  
“Hey, I listen to what Quin says, she has all that weird British slang, it's clever you know?” Sonny replied as his pert bottom swayed as he danced over to the blinds and closed them, “besides, I want you all to myself...” he winked at Rafael and jumped back into bed, snuggling his lover into submission. He climbed on Rafael and looked him right in the eyes, his blonde hair a ripple of perfection over his part of his face, “My turn.” he ordered with a wide grin. Rafael felt his face redden, as Sonny rolled him over and worked his magic. Maybe we can be something more... Rafael mused to himself, as Sonny's hot breath on his ear overpowered his senses. He let the younger man take him, hold him, and love him. Yes...

 

He felt a trickle of liquid on his earlobe and brushed his head on his shoulder. It has been another night in the cage and the liquid, his own blood, was dripping freely again. He thought the pressure he applied with his shoulder was enough, but the thrashing from his nightmares had caused him to break the scab loose. His left arm was still handcuffed to the bar behind him, but his right was free.  
Assholes must have realized I'm no good without one functioning hand, how nice he thought as he ran his right hand over his person, trying to feel for any weapon they may have missed. Crap, nothing. The revelation that he was weaponless wasn't a surprise to him, but he wished his captors would have been dumb enough to miss his handgun, so he could make his escape. He stood up and tried to stretch his back, a familiar pop brought relief as he glanced around. The drug that had sedated him was out of his system, so he was able to actually look around and analyze his cage. It was a makeshift cage that consisted of several iron poles in a square shape with chain link fencing wrapped around it. He had no means of escaping, “Well this sucks--” he stopped mid sentence and saw a single security camera pointed at him, “--oh what the hell!” he shouted as he noticed that his cage of his was in an abandoned building. Part of the wall that had been supporting the ceiling above his cage was missing, and the space around him was dilapidated. A cold winter breeze blasted over him as he shivered, he had no winter jacket on his person.  
“At least I have my glasses...” he muttered as he saw the bar he was handcuffed to wrapped around the perimeter of the cage. “Great, now I can exercise myself to death.” he snarked as he got up and began to walk around and noticed the camera was no longer stationary and it was moving with him. It was one thing for him to be in a cage, another completely separate and disturbing thing to be watched.   
He stopped and looked right at the camera, “Hey! You! Jackass! I wanna talk to someone!” he hollered at the camera.  
Watch that thing not have a mic built into it, it's older than I am. He mused as the door leading into this level of the building creaked open and two men walked in. One taller, with the beginnings of a bald spot and crisp blue eyes, peering sharply from behind a pair of glasses; the other man was shorter, with pale skin and sunken brown eyes, his hair a pile of black strands dangling over his eyes, as his hands wrung as both approached his cage.  
“You rang?” The taller man sneered at him  
“I guess, sort of surprised you didn't give me a bell...” he sassed back.  
“You know, for an inspector, you're a bit too sassy for my liking. Where's Tomas, I want her, er...him, whatever, to get us a new one.” the shorter man griped.  
“Inspector, you mean investigator, spec--”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but as long as your here, you'll be called chief inspector Masau from the Peppido district, one of the four to run the gauntlet, now we'll have to get you into character. That camera up there,” the taller man pointed it out, “not only do we have a feed watching you, but so do all of our fans...say hi to them inspector...”  
He looked up at the camera, then back at the men, then waved at it with his free hand, “Hello, someone please call the police, my name is John Munch, I'm a special investigator with the district attorney's office--” his sentence was stopped by a tazer to the side of his chest. His body dropped to the floor of the cage.  
The shorter man grabbed his sides of his head with both hands and released a guttural moan, “It won't be good enough! Everyone will hate me!!” he screamed as he fell to his knees, rocking back and forth.  
The taller man felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket and checked it.   
'I've got them' a text from an unknown caller popped up in his screen.  
“Get it together!” he pulled the weaselly younger man by the collar and shoved the phone into his face.  
“Ariel!” the man child exclaimed.  
“Yes, let's go..” the taller man said as both of them left Munch unconscious and slumped over on the floor of the cage.

 

Her ankle swelled with pain as Quin rolled over on to her back. She shook her head as her vision was blurred. She used her hands to wipe the sleep from her eyes and recalled Dodds spending the night with her, and was relieved to know they had made up, but a vision of red hair rippled through her mind, along with the sound of her bedroom window shattering. She felt Dodds protect her with his own body, while a feminine sounding voice called out...the rest a blank. Her head throbbed and she put her hand to the pain's origin point at the base of her occipital bone. A large goose egg was resting beneath her finger, well that explains why everything's still kinda blurry she told herself as her body caught fact of her being fully clothed. When they went to bed, they didn't bother to redress.  
None of the clothing on her person was hers; she was clad in a flowing gothic blouse with long bell shaped sleeves, a tie neck closure. Her legs wore a pair of skin tight black leggings and lace up knee hi boots. On her hands were a pair of fingerless gloves, also black and tattered looking. Her hands went to her chest, and she felt a very giving push up bra that made her self conscious of her chest. I don't wear this kind of bra, they normally don't come in my size... she trailed off as she touched her lips and a red smudge greeted her from the tip of her middle finger.  
“What the?!” she asked as a tall, slender woman with curly jet black hair walked over to her cot.  
“Pleased do not be alarmed, the boss wanted you clothed properly for them. I picked out the shade of lipstick myself, the boss also wears it. You have similar coloring, it makes you two look like cousins.” her monotone response was accompanied with her crossing her arms over her chest.  
Quin jumped at the sound of the woman's voice, but wasn't able to away from the cot due to a heavy iron shackle on her left ankle. She looked down at it, elicited an explanation from the woman.  
“My boss said that you hurt your right ankle, so I put it on the left one. I may be part of a questionable organization at this point in my life, but I'm not a bitch.” she replied, moving a bit closer to Quin.  
Feeling uneasy about her clothing, Quin crossed her arms over her chest, “Yeah, it hurts, thanks for being mindful of it.” she looked down at her chest again and felt exposed, even though the blouse itself was rather loose fitting. She wouldn't even contemplate wearing this outfit as means to seduce Dodds with, it was that uncomfortable to her.  
“I took no sexual enjoyment with re-dressing you. I'm more of a ginger chaser if you catch my drift. Your attire was picked out by the boss herself, although, finding a push up bra in your size was a terrible challenge--”  
“--why am I here?” Quin inquired as she attempted to stand, but the pain spiked through her leg and she reluctantly sat down on the cot.  
“The boss wanted you, although, she wasn't pleased to deal with that man who keeps following you, the one who looks like a dead ringer for Wilson, she had to take care of him...” the woman raised an eyebrow, turned on her heels and started to leave.  
“What?! Is he okay?!” Quin begged, her desperation clearly marked on her face.  
The woman turned back around and looked at her, “For now, but the boss wasn't pleased with having to clothe him herself, she's not a fan of the male anatomy...but, if I may ask, why sleep nude? It leaves you vulnerable to invaders, right?” the woman's tone remained calm, as if her question was socially acceptable to ask a perfect stranger.  
Quin's face was almost the same shade of scarlet her bra was, “We had spent the night, well, part of the night together...you know...” the prospect of explaining her sex life to the stranger before her was daunting at least.  
“Ah,” the woman's face cracked with a knowing smile, “you fornicated. Was he good?”  
“Really?!” Quin fumed, “where is this boss of yours?! I demand to speak with her!” She stood up again, but instead of feeling the pain, she pushed it out of her mind and bit down hard on her cheek.  
“Relax, I'll get her, and your partner is fine, we need him alive.” she turned around and exited the room, her heels clicking with every step. Once she was gone, Quin heard a vase break and tried to pull the chain out of the wall it was bolted to.  
“Damnit!” she shouted as she lost balance and fell on to the floor, sending another shock wave of pain through her body.  
There has to be a way out of here! She mentally pleaded with herself, slowly pushing herself up off the ground. Her eyes glanced in the direction of the door and saw the woman's shoes and the heeled boots the other woman had on moments ago. She looked up and let out a gasp.  
“NO!” Quin shouted out of shock.  
“YES! How are you Quinie?” the silky voice asked her, brushing away a strand of red hair off her pale face. “Long time no see!”  
“Tomas!” Quin scrambled to her feet, pushing the pain out of her mind. Her friend from the orphanage, Tomas was before her, her hands cupping Quin's face.  
“Patrice, you did well with her coloring, she looks prettier than I recall.” Tomas praised the other woman whose face lit up with pride.  
“I wanted her to...look her best...for you.” Patrice fumbled over her words, as if praise rarely came her way.  
“That she does, so tell me Quinie, how's your life?” Tomas touched her nose to Quin's, her green eyes glimmering in the minimally lit room.  
“It's...going...along...” Quin stammered as Tomas lustfully kissed her, her tongue sweeping through Quin's mouth, a severe violation. She was unable to move, she was transfixed into place, and unable to pull away as one of Tomas's hands groped her breast, squeezing it as her palm rubbed over her nipple, making it rock hard. Just like Arthur Quin's mind wailed as her second attempt to pull away was met with a harsh smack across her face.  
“I see you're all normal now, no need for me!” jealousy clung to the accusation, as Tomas brushed her long red hair off her face.  
Quin covered her cheek and closed her eyes. She was twelve again, in Arthur's flat at the orphanage, but Tomas was there, next to her, also nude like she was, both of them forced to touch and fondle each other as Arthur watched and touched himself.  
That wasn't love, it was torture! Quin mentally shouted, her voice needing to verbalize it, but her mouth holding it in.  
“I guess now that you have that sergeant, you don't want to be with me, huh?!” Tomas accused, “you get one bit of a man and you lose it...he isn't even that well hu--”  
“Stop it! Where is he?!” she shouted.  
Tomas laughed and looked at her, “Honey, he's still knocked out cold, I cold clocked his worthless ass. They could have at least forced someone stronger to protect you, he was a total wuss!”  
“No, he isn't!” Quin protested. Her mind unlocked another moment, Mike had punched Tomas in the gut, Quin tried to stay and help, but Tomas grabbed her and took Mike's gun in exchange for not hurting her.  
“If I hadn't tried to be a hero...” she muttered as Tomas chuckled.  
“He just handed over his gun, total rookie move. God, and you fuck that guy?! Honey, get back into women, we're so much smarter, I mean, we both know you are. Arthur loved calling you his idea girl!”  
Quin felt her body churn and Tomas wrapped her arms around her. She saw Patrice's blank expression turn into anger as Tomas grabbed her neck, her thumb tracing down her throat, then took her tongue and slowly licked it.  
“You still taste sweet there, what about,” Tomas's left hand went towards Quin's crotch, “here?”  
Quin squirmed, her body reacted to the touching, becoming turned on, but she knew it was biological, her mind and soul had no romantic interest in Tomas, she never had and never would.  
“S-stop!” she cried out as she pushed Tomas's hand away.  
Tomas grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, “Let me lay out the situation for you, okay? You have two options; first, I can sell you to the two psycho rapists who have helped us wights relocate in exchange for some odd favors, who will more than likely test out the idea of being able to rape someone to death with your body or, and this is my personal favorite, you join us, becoming my second in command! We smash the patriarchy and have some of the most amazing lesbian sex you'll ever know. Hell, if you are still as good as you used to be, and ugh, Quinie, you were a goddess, I'll let that pile of testosterone you've been riding like a rodeo show live. He can run home to his daddy and you can have me as your--”  
“--No...” Quin shook her head as Tomas let go of her collar. “I'm so sorry that Arthur put us in that situation, I was forced to please you, but Tomas,” she saw the hurt in her childhood friend's eyes, “I didn't love you. I cared for you because you were the only other person he did such horrific things to, because we were both abused in such a manner that I still haven't told anyone and even though we didn't have words for it, because you are trans and it...it wasn't love.”  
The second smack landed as Tomas struck her as hard as physically possible.   
“LIAR, WHORE!!!” her voice screamed, the rejection from Quin breaking her psyche into shards, rolling from her eyes. “We were together! It was love, it was!! You get a bit of dick in you and you just forget our love, our sex, the way we fit together. So. Fucking. Well?!” Tomas kicked Quin in her ribs, knocking the wind out of her.   
“I loved you, you loved me! Arthur was jealous, and I did all of this for you! For your attention, for your approval!” she took in several small breaths and then kicked Quin again, her foot landing with full force into Quin's ribs.  
“T-Tomas, Please, stop!!” Quin begged as she tried to deflect Tomas's kicks.  
“NO! Say that YOU love ME, say that you'll become a wight! Join us and wreck havoc on this transphobic wasteland we live in!!” Tomas shrieked  
“I'd love to wreck havoc on all the transphobia you've experienced, I would, and I do when I can...” Quin rambled as her body curled into a ball, blocking any further kicks.  
“...then why won't you love me?! Our love would destroy all the pain, that hurt!”  
“No, it wouldn't, it would just be a band-aid for it, that's all! I love him, not you!” Quin shouted  
Tomas wiped the tears from her eyes. “So you'd let two men violate you, take you from me, then relearn to love me? And that thing, that thing in the other room...he gets to love you, taste you, hold you?! That's the dumbest thing you've ever said!!”  
“No, it isn't! You can't learn to love someone, I never loved you or Arthur, I was forced to do those things with you and with Arthur. I'm sorry...” Quin's voice broke, “...I'm so sorry that instead of getting the help you needed, hell we needed, that you were forced to do the unimaginable to survive...I'm so sorry...”  
Tomas began to silently weep as Quin continued, “...I will spend the rest of my life doing taking every legal action to ensure another child doesn't deal with what was done to us...I swear Tomas...”  
Tomas shook her head, her voice softened, “I saw that you put him away, last year, in London...I knew I had to warrant your attention...I missed you so much, ever since you got out at 16. I couldn't find you, I tried so long to find you, and then I met others who were hurt, and together we were able to do something about it...” she looked at Quin, her emerald eyes wet with a sea of tears, “You really can't even think about it, about loving me?”  
Quin wiped her face, “Love isn't taught about, debated, its just intuitively there, existing between two people, heck, sometimes even between more than two people, but I can't pretend to love you. Doing that would deny you the perfect person who would love you from finding you.” Quin saw Patrice's slender arms wrap around Tomas.  
“She's right Tomas, I've held it in for so long...I love you.” Patrice confessed, her hands caressing Tomas's figure. Tomas's phone chimed and she looked at it.  
“It's time, they're here” Tomas's tone grew cold and hard. She stood up, shaking Patrice off her body and walked over to Quin.  
“Please...let us go...” Quin begged, as Tomas's hands wrapped around her neck. Her hands scrambled to stop her, but soon she passed out and felt Tomas unlocking the shackle from the wall, and toss her over her shoulder, still crying.  
“We could have had such a good thing Quinie, but they're gonna get you instead...” Tomas wept and Quin's mind went dark.


	10. And then there were four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the wights out of the picture (for now?), ADA Montgomery and three others are forced into a hellish situation with no foreseeable escape, as the rest of SVU and Chief Dodds try to figure out what's happening.

Barba walked into his office that was finally available to him, but not without Carisi giving him a quick goodbye kiss. Carisi gave them a drive to work, and they had barely left Barba's apartment the whole weekend. It was safe to say the weekend of passion and Carisi's home cooked meals had solidified their moment of lust into a meaningful relationship and a revelation hit him. Being an ass to Quin and Dodds was going to be impossible seeing as how he was doing the very thing he scolded them on. He sat down his briefcase and heard someone barge into his office.  
“Sir!” Carmen's voice rang out, as she wrestled a sob back into her throat. Barba saw the sheet of paper in her shaking hands.  
“Carmen,” he calmly began, “what's going on?” he checked his tone, removing any and all worry he felt at the core of his being. His intuition rarely rang out so vividly, it was shaking him.  
“Um, I was going to ...” Carmen paused and took in a breath, “...into Quin's office to drop off a document she needed for the Pettigrew trial and I...I...” Carmen let out a sob and handed the paper to Barba. It wasn't paper, it was a 8x10 photo of Quin's face with the phrase, 'lovingly withheld and into the gauntlet' written in blood red calligraphy ink. Barba's eyes grew large, “Carmen, when did you find this?!”  
“Just a few moments ago...oh God, what are we gonna do?!” Carmen panicked.  
“Call Liv, get SVU over here, now! And Carmen, keep everyone out of her office, it's an active crime scene.” he picked up his phone and called Carisi.

 

Chief Dodds hated making small talk with his superiors, but in the elevator ride up to his office, none of them were even thinking of important matters. If it wasn't about a mistress or what was for dinner tonight, it wasn't falling out of their mouths. Thankfully, years of elbow rubbing was productive and he was able to slip away once they got to their floor. He walked down the hall towards his office in thought,   
Normally, Mikey would be groveling at this point to get back into my good graces, but he's been off the grid the whole weekend...damnit..  
He opened his office door and walked in.   
What's the point of having children if they don't listen to you? He continued to think as he put his coat on his coat rack. His eyes skimmed over his desk and he let out a groan as he saw the stack of papers he would have to look over.  
“This job...” he muttered as he flipped open his laptop and a large photo of his son, Mike, fell out on to his desk. In blood red ink someone had written, 'lovingly withheld and into the gauntlet'  
“What the?!” the chied stammered, his own worry and fear grabbing at him. He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed Mike. No ring, straight to voicemail- that never happened. Even with the hectic schedule that SVU had him on, his son always answered him. He had raised him and raised him right. Another call, no answer, straight to voicemail.  
“What the hell, Mike?” the chief cursed and then called Benson.  
“If he really thinks that listening to that mousey ADA is gonna impress-yes, Liv, Mike there?!”  
“So you're calling to check up on him too now?” Liv teased. He heard her son cooing in the background. Mike cooed like that he thought, the nostalgia of his eldest son's infancy taking hold of him. He shook it off.  
“He isn't answering his phone, I'm...” he flipped the photo over, “...I'm just...”  
“It's funny you say that, he's an hour late and normally--”  
“--he's always on time, that's how I raised him Liv!” he snapped and then sighed.  
“...wait, what?!” Liv's voice shot up, as the chief heard detective Carisi's Staten island accent assault his ears and made him think back to the last time he saw his son.  
I was such an ass to him, and her...no you did the right thing, keep him on track he reassured himself as Benson returned her attention to their conversation.  
“...chief, I've gotta go, but if I see Mike, I'll have him call you--” she quickly hung up the phone, the line went dead.  
Normally her lack of respect would have ruffled his feathers, but she hung up to attend to work and he did respect that about her, yet something in her voice made his worry blossom.  
“Give her a visit...” he instructed himself as he grabbed his keys and coat. He looked at his desk and his gut told him to take the photo too, so he tucked it in a coat pocket and locked his office behind him  
Mike...

 

Finn walked out of the restroom and right into a storm of swarming officers, with Benson and Carisi in the middle of it. He went back to his desk and sat down, attempting to tune out the noise and research local vacant hospitals like Quin has suggested before the weekend. He wasn't especially close to ADA Montgomery, but his heart went out to her. They had interviewed a few people together on smaller cases and even though she was a super nerd, she was a nice super nerd and she treated him with a certain respect most women from her upbringing didn't entertain showing him.  
He tapped away on his keyboard until Benson came over, “Finn where were you? We've gotta go, the wights struck.” the words bolted out of her mouth as she motioned him to get up.  
“Sorry, nature called. What happened?”  
“I'll fill you in on the way over...” her eyes caught a sheet of paper on his desk, “...what's that?” she anxiously asked him.  
“Liv, it's a sheet of paper...” Finn stopped mid sentence as he turned it over. It was a picture of his old partner, John Munch with a phrase written over his face, 'lovingly withheld and into the gauntlet' in red ink. “...what the hell?” he said as Carisi walked over, with gloves on and took the picture.  
“Hey, ain't this Munch?!” he inquired.  
“Yeah, it is, and this just got personal--” Finn replied as he tossed on his jacket.  
“Carisi, take that to CSU and see if they can get anything off of it, then meet us at Barba's” Benson turned around and saw that Lucy was still there, with a sheet of paper in her hands and a perplexed looking Noah.  
“Lucy?”  
“I'd normally wait, but an officer handed this to me...” Lucy handed her another picture, this time was a picture of...  
“Bri?! No...not you too...” Benson whispered to herself.  
“Wait, they got Cassidy?!” Finn shouted, “Oh hell no!”  
“Lucy, go with officer Swanson, tell her everything you remember about the person who gave this to you. After that, please take Noah home with a police escort.” she looked at Noah, “you and Lucy are gonna have a low key day, okay?” Noah smiled and she kissed him and was about to leave the precinct as Chief Dodds walked in.  
“Lieutenant, what's going on?” he barked at her.  
“Chief, the wights, they've struck they may have...” she stopped as chief dodds took the photo of his son out of his coat and handed it to her.  
“Who else?” he softly asked, his eyes showcasing actual emotion.  
Benson couldn't think, all she knew was a terrorist organization took four of her colleagues and she had no tangible leads on their whereabouts. “ Your son, officer Brian Cassidy, special investigator John Munch, and ADA Montgomery.” she solemnly replied.  
“Liv...find him...” he pleaded, his expression one she hadn't viewed before; raw and fresh worry for his son. Her boss' son was missing and had been for nearly forty eight hours and she had nothing to go on.  
“Liv, it's Barba--” Finn broke her thought bubble.  
“Tell him we're on our way.” she replied as she kept her focus on the chief. “we'll find them...”  
“Find him...” the chief coldly replied and then walked out of the precinct.  
“You alright?” Finn came up next to her.  
Liv shook her head and they made their way to Barba's office.

 

His head hurt, his arm hurt, and he was freezing. It was another day in the cage for Munch and he already wanted to close his eyes and see if falling asleep would get him the result he really wanted, liberation.  
“No, that's insanity, doing the same thing over and over again, trying to get a different outcome...” he chided himself as he heard a clank, “Cassidy?!” he exclaimed as he laid eyes on his partner.  
Brian Cassidy was in the cage with him, handcuffed in a similar fashion as he was.  
“Even in a cage in this hellhole you're spouting off nonsense...how you been?” Cassidy asked with a smirk on his face. His partner looked rundown, and had a large black eye that was starting to change colors, indicating that it was healing.  
“Well, if I'm gonna die here, at least I'll know that Brian Cassidy will use my words of wisdom to pick up women in my honor.” Munch felt a bit at ease, the witty banter soothing his worn psyche.  
“Yup, still Munch...so how did you get here? Pick up gone wrong?” Cassidy teased.  
“I got drugged, by a drag queen...or a transwomen...either way, excellent red hair. I woke up here, you?”  
“I was getting off my night shift Friday night and I saw a redhead in need of some assistance with changing a tire...who punches someone, then beats them with a tire iron?” Cassidy inquired as he let out a cough.  
Munch chuckled; even in this scenario the mental imagery of Cassidy being punched by a woman, then struck with a tire iron possessed a certain morbid humor to it. Cassidy was like a younger, gentile brother to him, so the thought was kosher since it was family and only being used to keep his sanity in check.  
Who uses violent joke imagery to keep sane...besides me apparently? He mused.  
Cassidy cocked his head to the side, “Stop thinking about some ginger psycho beating me up, will yah?” he groaned as he felt his head.  
Yup, completely kosher he thought, “well, since some ginger temptress got us here, maybe a dazzling pretty blonde will bust us out?” Munch said as the door creaked open. The two men from before walked in, along with a man he didn't know and,  
“ADA Montgomery?!” Munch shouted, “Hey, what's the idea guys?!” his mind raced, thinking over hundreds of scenarios as he looked at her. She looked beaten up, a large red welt on her cheek where she had been smacked across the face. She was barely able to stand up, her right ankle struggling to move as the men forced her to walk.  
If these bastards did anything to her... he thought as he recalled how appreciative she had been with his work during the Sullivan trial.  
“How in the hell do you know her?” Cassidy questioned.  
“We worked on a case together about a year, year and a half ago.”  
“Just a case?” Cassidy's eyes analyzed him as Munch glared back at him.  
“I'm old enough to be her father...”  
“--that hasn't stopped you before...hey!”  
Munch used his free hand to swat at Cassidy, but his focus turned back to ADA Montgomery who was struggling to move. Her and the man with her looked wiped out, and he was handcuffed and had the classic attractive cop look to him.   
The taller man that Munch had chatted with and been tazered by shoved Quin to the ground, on her knees. She let out a cry, her ankle making her cry out in agony, as the shorter man took her hands and bound them behind her back and walked her over to an industrial hook hanging in the air and lowered it behind her back, stringing her up.  
“Agh!” she cried out as her shoulders were over extended, the sound of her muscles popping echoing in the room. She tried to her weight off her shoulders by standing on pointed toes.  
“Stop this!” the other man shouted and his protest was met with a police baton to the side of the head from the shorter man, who then held the other man's head back and looked at him.  
“Listen asshole, you try any more of that hero shit, and I'll do her here, in front of those guys, clear?!” he shoved the man to the ground, “get up and get the fuck in there—Wilson!”   
The man slowly got up and let the man shove him into the cage with Munch and Cassidy, then was re-cuffed in the same fashion as them.  
“His outfit is weird...” Cassidy softly said. He was right, the man was redressed in a groundskeeper jumpsuit with various markings that Munch hadn't seen anywhere else before. Munch then looked down at his own outfit, and noticed that he had been redressed himself. He was wearing a military inspired outfit, with a name patch that read, 'senior inspector Masau'. Cassidy was wearing a coat very similar to his own but it had--  
“Brian, why are you wearing a Nazi uniform?!” Munch asked him. He looked at the badge on Cassidy's chest, it looked similar to an SS badge, but it was two 'Z's' instead of two 'S's'.  
“You know, for an inspector, you're really bad at details...” the tall man replied, looking at him over his glasses, “you're the chief inspector Masau, head of the Peppido district's sniper squad...god, look here's the run down,” he pointed at Cassidy, “you, you giant lump of stupid, you're Private Davis, the newest recruit to the Peppido district's sniper squad. You came at the inspector's request to honor your late father.” he pointed at the other man, “this fucker, he's Wilson, groundskeeper for the Peppido royal gardens, oh, and a secret spy for the Monteru state, the bad guys to you two. They wanna mess with all your success, make you all slaves, rape all your wives...” he looked at Cassidy, “...or husbands and generally make your lives suck nuts, pun intended.” he glared at Cassidy, who rolled his eyes, then turned back and looked at ADA Montgomery, who was trying to not to dislocate her shoulders.  
“And finally, this bitch, she's Ariel Langston, heiress to the Peppido fortune and really hates you two guys, oh but Wilson, he's tapping that because he's pumped her, pun intended, full of that SJW social bullshit, like women matter and stuff like that. The story unfolds and the four of you get taken by the Monteru secret police and tried for crimes you didn't do...or did you? Your punishment? Running the gauntlet, a three week hell on earth escapade where only one of you gets to live and the rest of you die. Unlike the book where she lives, we're leaving it up to our fans! Hey fans!!” he waved at the camera. Munch shuddered out of finding the idea revolting.  
“Oh man, they're eating it up!” the shorter man child squealed with delight, “we've already got some gnarly requests...” he said as he looked at his cellphone.  
“Requests?!” Cassidy asked.  
“Oh yeah, anyone can submit a request and it has to be done—no exceptions-- except one, don't do a request and the other three get a chance to kill you off, in the hunting range! We added that, calling it the hunting range, not the idea itself.”  
“This is sadistic!” the man who was now being called Wilson shouted, “You're all sick!” he growled as he tried to escape in vain.  
“We may be, we'll give you that, but here, take this.” the taller man tossed a book into the cage, “I'd highly recommend that all of you read up, since our fan base has a hard on for accuracy,” he turned to the camera, “and in 36 hours, they'll be awaiting the running of the gauntlet, live!”  
“OOHHH! They're loosing it!” the shorter man squealed, “we're already at 1500 people live streaming and the site is at 7 million views, Oh my God!!” he began jumping around the cage, but then made his way over to ADA Montgomery who was trying to keep on her toes to save herself from the tremendous pain of her over extended shoulders, and put his hands on her hips.  
Wilson's free hand curled into a fist as his eyes burned.  
“Oh, I can't wait until they meet you...” the shorter man's sunken beady eyes skimmed over her frame, and then his face landed in the middle of her chest, nuzzling her breasts.  
“Get off of me!” she shouted as her foot kicked him in the groin.  
“Fucking whore!” he shouted weakly as he cupped his privates and fell to the ground. “I can't wait to see what your requests are—they're gonna work you inside and out! Gah!” he shouted.  
The taller man walked over to her and looked her over, “Maybe someone should get you in order!” he grabbed the back of her head and looked her in the eyes. She tried to look away and hide her terror from the rest of them, Munch saw it in her eyes, the determination to remain strong, even in the face of such perversion.  
She looked away from the man, unable to stomach his face but his grip on her head tightened and he forced her to look at him. A crooked smile formed on his face, as his right hand began to unbutton her blouse, slowly and systematically as to inflict maximum humiliation upon her.  
“STOP IT!” Wilson screamed as he pulled as hard as his body would let him. The taller man stopped and looked at him, then back at ADA Montgomery who was shaking from fear.  
“Oh, I see...that's rich, real rich! You're screwing this guy IRL, right?!”  
She tried to look away but again he forced her to look at him, “Answer me!” he yelled into her ear, Munch and Cassidy flinching out of sympathy for her.  
“Yes, we are...” she closed her eyes. The way her body shook, Munch sensed that she had been hurt before, other men had abused her, and he felt himself boiling over with rage. She was a reserved woman but had always been cordial with him and seeing such a kindhearted person being violated like this infuriated him.  
The tall man finished unbuttoning her blouse and flung it open. Her chest was exposed to all of them.   
“What did they do to her before she got here?” Cassidy asked Munch as both men took in the several bruises on her chest and rib cage.  
“Holy shit! Oh Wilson, Wilson, Wilson, Wilson, NICE! Haha, I mean wow!...I should have banged more nerds, like, you can't even tell that you're that busty...” the shorter man stood up, his mouth hanging open like a lecherous cartoon character looking at a pretty woman. “It's like a magic trick, those have got to be the largest pair I've ever seen...Oh bless you ginger superwoman, for bringing this site to my eyes!” his hands folded in mock prayer.  
“What does this have to do with anything?!” Munch shouted. He stuck his foot out and brought the book towards him. He picked it up and looked at the cover. ADA Montgomery was the spitting image of the woman on the cover. Her physical appearance was identical, her hair, the outfit, her build, and the manner she was hanging. Even her bust, which he felt horrible noticing and noting the comparison.   
“We've been looking for her for months since the graphic novel adaptation got released” the shorter man said as his hand rested on her waist, his thumb caressing her stomach, “now I get to have it all, her, the gauntlet...”  
The taller man smacked his hand away and let go of her head, but stayed and forcefully kissed her. She screamed through the kiss and Cassidy turned away.  
What Liv must have told him about Lewis... Munch thought as he cringed.  
“Stop it! Goddamnit!” Wilson screamed, nearly breaking the bar above him, but failing. “I'll kill you both!” he screamed.  
“Yeah, sure you will...” the shorter man snarked and brandished a tazer and tazed him through the cage. Wilson collapsed to the floor and his beady lifeless eyes met Munch and Cassidy's.  
“Anyone else?” he questioned.  
Munch and Cassidy shook their heads 'no' and the other man stopped his assault on ADA Montgomery who shouted, “MIKE!”  
“Oh calm the fuck down, Wilson will be fine Ariel, but I'd get better at knowing your role, perhaps the good inspector here will be willing to show you some mercy and read to you, hmm?” the taller man sniped at her. He and the shorter man turned towards the camera and the taller man said, “In less than two days, it begins! Place your requests oh and don't worry about Wilson, we'll wake him up, but remember, the gnarlier the request, the more time it takes to set it up, so we'll start off with the tamer ones. Goodnight and good times!”  
Both men turned around and left the four of them in the abandoned building. Once gone, Munch went over to Wilson who had been handcuffed to the bar which went around the perimeter of their cage.  
“John...is he?” ADA Montgomery asked in a trembling whisper.  
“He's fine...as far as being tazed.” Munch replied, his gentle brown eyes comforting her.  
“Thank you..” she said, turning her eyes away from them, unable to maintain eye contact in her state of undress.  
“Quin, right?” he asked her in a polite manner.  
“Y..yes...” she looked at him.  
“Excellent work on that case, with the Ryan brother, word through the grapevine was that you put him away for a long time.” He praised her in an attempt to calm all of them down.  
“Munch, quit fan-girling, we need her to get down and pick the lock on the gate, since we can't get to it from our side.” Cassidy butted in. Munch looked at him, like he had punched a cat.  
“Thank goodness your bluntness was here to crush my rapport building skills. I knew there was a reason why I'm the inspector...so...now that my beloved private here has spoken, are you even able to entertain getting down off of that?  
Quin looked at her wrists and saw the rope beginning to fray.   
Why in the hell didn't they handcuff—never mind, screw them and their oversight! She thought as she tried to shift her weight, but her shoulders pulsed in agony. “Agh! Damnit!” she cried out, trying to hold back her pain from Munch.  
“Hey, uh...Quin, if you swing back and forth, like one of those pendulum things, you'll fray the rope--” Cassidy suggested.  
“And dislocate her shoulders...you ass...” Munch answered for her, “Is there any other way to make the rope fray?”  
Quin shook her head. Her body ached, every last bit sending the message that she was done with this experience. She wanted to go home, crawl into bed with Mike, and wake up from this living nightmare. She felt it deep within her soul, the only option available to her was to dislocate her shoulders.  
“John, he's right...” she got out through gritted teeth.  
Munch's eyes grew large, “Quin, what will happen once you get down, you'll have two dislocated shoulders, what good will--?”   
“Hey,” Cassidy chimed in, “she can get over here and we can pop them back into place, they didn't electrify the cage.  
Munch glared at him, “Let's not give our adoring fans any ideas, Private Davis.”  
“Of course, inspector. And once she's done, we can hold the lock so she can't move her arms, saving her some pain at least...”  
Their banter was interrupted by a loud pop and Quin falling to the ground, howling in enormous pain. “AAAGGGHHH! Holy bloody shit! AAAGGHH!” she shouted as she rolled on to her stomach and got up. Her arms felt like foreign objects barely connected to her being, weighing her down.  
“Yeah!” Cassidy cheered as she slowly got up  
“Seriously Brian?!” Munch swatted at him  
“I'm trying to keep it positive!” Cassidy rebutted, “Quin, can you make it over here? We can pop them back in, Munch and I took the same med skills class a few years back.” he beamed with pride as Munch smacked him on the back of the head.  
She nodded her head and made her way over to the cage, every nerve on fire as she leaned her back against the cage.  
“Hey, I know you're in a world of hurt, but I'm gonna hold you still while Munch puts your arm back in place, okay?” he face showed his compassionate nature as she turned her head away from him.  
“Yeah, it's okay...I'm...so...okay...” she wailed, unable to suppress the floodgates of agony she was feeling.  
“We're gonna get out of here, okay?” Munch said as he took her right arm and popped it back into the socket. She knew that the other man holding her could feel her fighting to get away, but she braced herself as Munch ran around the perimeter of the cell and made it past Cassidy and popped the other arm back in.  
She howled and released a guttural scream that Munch felt throughout his body. It was so potent that it had to have signaled the men, but he pushed it out of his mind as he saw Cassidy pat her back.  
“It's over okay, we know you're in a world of hurt, but you've gotta try and pick the lock, if you do that, all of us can get out. I know you're suffering, and I say that as a guy who took a knife to the inner thigh, we need you, you're our hope right now.”  
Quin hunched over and wiped her face on her blouse, then looked down at it. She tried to life her arms above her waist, it wasn't possible.  
“Oh...I'm not gonna be much help...” she began to cry as she held her blouse closed at the bottom.  
“Focus on using your hands and not your arms too much. I can hold the lock steady and down towards your waist.” Munch said. His eye caught a paperclip in the book.  
“Brian, the book as a paperclip in it, get it, unbend it and hand it to Quin.” Munch commanded.  
“On it” Cassidy replied as he procured the paperclip and followed Munch's instructions.  
“So why exactly couldn't you have bent the paperclip and picked the lock?” Cassidy asked, his concern for Quin apparent.  
“One, we just got that book, and two, this kind of lock can only be picked from straight on, and with one hand, I can't do it, and I didn't have anything to even attempt to pick it when I got in here...alright?”  
Cassidy raised his eyes and held the lock still.  
“Okay, so I take this and pick the lock?” she forced herself to finish the sentence, even though she was still reeling in pain.  
“Yes” both men answered back.  
“I'll try my best...” she trailed off as she steadied her right arm with her left hand and slowly began to pick the lock. After several tries, she heard a loud click and the lock fell away from the door. “YES!” she cried out, as happy tears trickled down her face.  
“Nice, here give that to me!” Munch exclaimed as he took the paperclip and picked his handcuffs open. He then went to Cassidy and freed him, and then the same to Mike, who was starting to regain consciousness.  
“Hey goyim, glad to see that you're okay, but we've gotta get going!” Munch said as him and Cassidy helped Mike up.  
“Q...quin?” he murmured as he pulled her close.  
“Agh!” she cried out as he loosened his embrace.  
“Sorry, lets get out of here.” he said as the four of them made their way out the door and down several flights of stairs. Quin felt Mike's arm wrap around her waist as he helped he make her way down, letting Munch and Cassidy get ahead of them. They paused for a moment as he noticed her shirt was still unbuttoned.  
“Mike...we can just let it...” she stammered.  
His warm hands buttoned it up for her, hastily missing a couple of buttons, but better than nothing.  
“No one should ever make you expose yourself like that...” he said, quickly kissing her forehead, and they continued their way down, catching up with the two other men as they made their way outside.  
“We're almost out of this hell hole!” Cassidy said as he held the door open and they bolted out. Once outside, they all stopped.  
A line of people formed before them, all wearing military inspired costumes with writing similar to the one on Mike's jumpsuit, with guns pointing at them.  
“No...” Munch said. Mike pulled Quin close to him as the tall man and the shorter one stood before them.  
“Gotta admit, I'm impressed...we didn't think you'd try to escape...I respect the determination, too bad I have to do this.” he raised his hand and the line of people fired into them. The four of them collapsed as the serum of the tranquilizer darts immobilized them. Quin looked over and saw Munch and Cassidy being taken, and felt her body being dragged next to Mike's  
What's going to happen to us? She thought as a tear fell from her right eye.  
“Move them into the next section, keep them in their pairings!” the shorter man barked as she passed out from a mixture of the serum and pain. The world went black.

 

Carisi, Benson, Finn, Barba and chief Dodds were in the lieutenant's office, pouring over every bit of information they'd gathered in the last twenty four hours. Fatigue floated in the small office as they analyzed every detail in silence.  
“There is nothing else? Nothing that some tech dweeb missed?” the irritation in chief Dodds voice punctured the atmosphere of the room, causing Benson to look up from her laptop.  
“TARU is checking their cellphones and tracking any electronic devices they have on them.” she calmly replied as she rubbed her temples with her fingertips. Barba shot the chief a look.  
“They're doing everything they can,” Barba assured him, as his hand patted Benson on her shoulder. “We know that they're alive, for now...” Barba trailed off, his words feeling formless. He didn't even believe his statement as he said it. The chief looked at him.  
“It's been twenty four hours and we still have nothing substantial, and Mike could be anywhere!” the frustration rose in his voice, but Carisi stood up and glared at him.  
“You know there are three other people missing too, right?!” the detective heatedly replied as the chief glared at him.  
“Stand down detective.” Benson sternly said. Carisi looked at her and left the office, without saying another word.  
“What's his deal?” the chief questioned.  
“His deal is that you're only focused on finding your son and there are other people missing, all of whom are close colleagues of ours.” Benson wearily replied as she took off her glasses and closed her eyes.  
Chief Dodds glances around the room, “gentlemen, can I have a minute alone with the lieutenant?” Barba and Finn looked at each other, then left the room.  
The chief sat down in front of her desk, his blue eyes looking down at his lap. “What are their odds, Liv?” his voice was soft and vulnerable.  
She ran her hands over her head, “ I don't know, I don't know...” her eyes met his, “...but I do know all four of them and they'll do anything to survive, that's the truth.”  
The chief nodded his head, “I was a jerk to both of them...I...” he stopped and crossed his arms over his chest. Benson saw the sea of emotions behind his eyes-- it was virtually identical to the sergeant's except the chief had mastered hiding it better.  
“You don't have to say anythi—”   
“--I do, I know that you heard us and I just want him to have the best, I really do Liv, but he keeps picking things that--”  
“--you'd never see him pick, like ADA Montgomery?” Liv looked at him with her kind eyes, their expression opening up the chief's defenses.  
“Honestly, she isn't that bad...but it's” Carisi came through the office door, his expression one of pure terror.  
“Lieutenant, Chief, you've gotta come out here, please.”  
Benson and the chief got up and walked out and were greeted by a very pregnant Rollins who looked like she had been crying.  
“Chief Dodds, I'm...” she started, but Carisi jumped in.  
“Amanda may have a clue about what's happening to everyone, she was--”   
Rollins cut back in, “--I was reading this book, Running the Gauntlet, that Carisi recommended, and there was a recent re-release of it, so I searched for it online and--”  
“Look--” Carisi pointed at the precinct's smart board.  
The four of them watched the live streaming footage of their missing colleagues and saw them separated, the feed going Munch and Cassidy and Quin with Dodds.  
“Mike!” the chief called out in a rare display of worry.  
“Carisi, what are we getting off of this?” Benson asked him.  
“It's been up since yesterday, the whole website is build around the books universe, it's like a fansite gone mad.” Carisi exasperated, “and there's a countdown,” he clicked on a link, “12 hours, 57 minutes, and 23 seconds until the running of the gauntlet.”  
“It's gets worse,” Rollins began, “There are millions of people on the site but over three thousand are live streaming it, and they can create and account and...um.” she closed her eyes and swallowed a bit of bile jumping up in her throat.  
“Hey, hey take it easy Rollins...” Carisi said as he helped her sit down. She thanked him with her eyes and continued, “um, they can submit requests.”  
“Requests?!” Barba and Finn made their way over to the others.  
“You can't be for real?” Finn asked  
“What types of requests are these?” Barba inquired.  
“Any kind of request, anything means anything...” Rollins softly replied.  
“The group has them split into catagories...” Carisi stopped.  
“Can TARU track the IP address, anything to track it?” Benson asked.  
“As of now, no, it's that dark net stuff like the one case with those gamer bros.” Carisi replied as the website paused and a single screen with a video message started on it's own.  
Two men appeared and stood before the camera feed. One was taller, older with a bald spot and glasses, the other was younger with very pale skin and brown, sunken eyes.  
“Hey Hey everyone, it's less than half a day until the running of the gauntlet begins! It seems our participants are smarter we anticipated, they were able to see through the first illusion,” the taller man spoke in a professional manner.  
“They're trained, at least he is..” chief Dodds trailed off as this eyes continued to analyze the men.  
“But we've moved to a safer location where we'll be able to conduct the gauntlet without any distractions from the law. Oh, speaking of the law, any officers that interfere with the gauntlet will be shot on sight.”  
“They can't be serious? We've got to find them...” chief Dodds said as he turned away from the live stream.  
“We will Carisi, have TARU keep a twenty four hour surveillance on the site. Make sure they monitor every interaction.” Benson ordered, she turned towards the chief, “right now, you should be going home and getting some sleep...”  
“NO, I'm staying here until we solve this!” the chief shot back.  
“Oh...” Rollins said as she slowly got up, Finn and Benson helping her.  
“Amanda, you all right?” Finn asked.  
“Yeah, I've gotta go home...”   
“I'll drive you” his offer understood as what he was going to do. He and her started to leave, but not without chief Dodds stopping them.  
“Detective Rollins?” a certain kindness in his tone sounded off to them.  
“Yes?”  
“Please finish the book, we need to know what we're getting into and no one else has the downtime to do it.”  
Amanda nodded her head and left with Finn.  
Chief dodds looked at the elevator, flashing back to when he had argued with his son.  
Sink or swim, Mike


	11. Diplomatic Immunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotional insights and partnerships are expanded upon as the situation gets deeper and deeper.
> 
> I'm still writing this, thanks for reading.  
> I do enjoy any and all feedback on this thing since it does help me make it better.
> 
> Comments are good, so are kudos!
> 
> Thanks!

Quin felt her body rest on the cold concert slab of wall, rough and scratching at her skin with the movements she made to shift her weight. Her ankle throbbed in pain along with her shoulders and neck. She slowly opened her eyes, allowing them to adjust to the lighting in the room, she looked to her right and saw him. He was against the next stone pillar, still unconscious. Her eyes glanced at his chest.  
Okay, he's breathing, I'm breathing...that's a start, she rationalized as she again attempted to shift her weight and was unable to do so without a sharp pain in her ankle.  
Quin took inventory of her person; she was able to move her arms a bit more than yesterday, but moving them above her chest wasn't possible.   
Thank goodness he buttoned up my shirt for me...  
She could turn her head and her vision was in tact, but she felt dehydrated and nauseous.  
“I've gotta try to get moving, I've gotta see if he's okay...” she encouraged herself, forcing her body to move towards him.   
“Mike” she softly spoke, clinging to the wall for stability. Quin made her way towards him as his head turned towards the sound of her voice, his eyes opened.  
“Quin?” his strained voice questioned her as if she was an auditory allusion. He began to move his stiff body to relax it.  
“Yeah...it's me...” she failed to suppress the happy tears in her eyes and blinked to remove them. She was able to take a couple more steps towards him and he met her. His eyes showcasing him trying to keep it together but struggling.  
“Mike, I'm gonna be fine...” she started but his gentle embrace stopped her mid sentence.  
“How did you get down, weren't you handcuffed?” he asked as he brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes.  
“No, they used a nylon rope, thankfully these finger-less gloves were a barrier against rope burn.” she rubbed her wrists, feeling the rope's groove indented in her skin.  
“Your body weight, eventually you'd--”  
“--dislocate a shoulder or two. Yeah, that's why I'm glad you weren't conscious to hear it. I think I've scarred Munch and the other guy with my screams...but the other stuff...” she recalled the taller man assaulting her, forcing his mouth on hers and shuddered Dodds continued to hold her.  
“Look at me,” he gently put his bandaged right hand on her face, “we're gonna get out of here, and-”   
Quin's nose touched his as she answered, “-I know we will, it's just...” her hand found its place on top of his. She looked into his eyes and knew that he was fully aware of her pain. The way his eyes struggled not to show how he was hurting but intuitively without overly thinking it, she knew he was aware of her past.  
He's got to be hurt that I lied about it, that I hid it even when I made such a huge point about being open. I'm so sorry Mike...  
“...I know...” a sadness behind his eyes was trickling out in the form of a tear, “...when I woke up, that redhead let out what happened to you, and her. Why didn't you tell me, why did you hold it back from me?”  
Was the omission of her abuse greater than the amount of pain to reveal it?  
“The idea of revealing that to you, the years of constant abuse, I...I thought you'd be turned off, that anything I wanted physically with you would make you wonder if it was because of what was done to me versus my own desires. I didn't want to make it your problem, it was mine.” she forced herself to wipe tear from his face, and winced in pain.  
“No, I-- I'd never question what you want from me, I just feel like I, I can't understand why you hide that...”  
“I hid it because thinking about it, even after the years of therapy I went through, I couldn't trust another soul with it. It's the black bile of mind that I couldn't let seep into you. I thought you'd be disgusted with me, that you'd leave...” she looked away, flushed with shame and embarrassment, but he only pulled her closer to him.  
“Trust me, please--I can handle it. I can't handle you suffering. You aren't the only one who has been working an insane amount of hours, and taking on some of the harder cases, you were fine, but you just seemed lost in thought like it was triggering something that happened to you, and at the time I didn't know you well enough to ask...I didn't want to pry...if I knew you were hurting that badly, even just as me, without us, I would have done everything in my power to help you.” his forehead rested on hers, both of them fighting fatigue as the door flung open and the two men walked in. Dodds felt her body shake violently as the taller man looked at her.  
“I see you got dressed again, I wouldn't get to comfortable with having clothes...” his eyes looked at her over his glasses, the ice blue irises devoid of any compassion.  
“Screw you, you sick son of a bitch!” Dodds shouted as he let go of Quin and moved to punch the taller man, but the shorter man pulled out gun and pointed it at him and Quin.  
“Don't!” Quin called out, holding him back.  
“I will shoot you and then screw her!” the shorter man yelled. The taller man rolled his eyes and pushed the gun down as the shorter man cooled off.  
“Now, we're here because a large chunk of requests involve your characters, there are tons of Ariel and Wilson shippers.”  
“Shippers?” Dodds asked.  
The tall man raised an eyebrow at Quin, who answered, “Shippers are fans who want to see two characters in a specific kind of relationship in a series.”  
The man child chuckled, “Busty as fuck and smart...stop giving me a hard on already.”  
Dodds flexed and the shorter man flinched, while the taller man took the gun out of his counterpart's hand and pointed it at Dodds. A smug smiled moved into position on his face.  
“I'll shoot you and then play Wilson...” he glanced at Quin,”...and I know how to play Wilson very, very well...”  
“Mike, please...” she implored as her hand touched his arm.  
He relaxed his body and the taller man continued his thought, “...so most of the requests are sexual, explicitly sexual, get ready to deep throat like no tomorrow, but there are some tender moments. Apparently a whole mess of women got on to the site and they want you to act out scenes from the book.” he brandished a large stack of papers from his arm and handed them to them, “Memorize these, we'll be having you go first...” he turned away from them.  
Dodds looked at the papers, various highlighted bits met his eyes and inquired, “and if we don't?”  
“Then, I'll kill her--” the tall man's reply was cut off by the shorter man.  
“--NO! She's mine, we'll kill you and keep her!”  
The tall man rolled his eyes, “-and when we say keep, you know what I mean.” he winked at Quin who met his gaze with her blue eyes burning brightly.  
“Ah, now you've found your strength, you'll need it.” both men turned on their heels and left the room.  
Quin steadied her body and looked over the pages. “Let's get to it” she stated as she began to read over their lines.  
“You can't just give into their demands, we've--”  
Her hand rested on his chest slightly above his heart and soothed him.   
“Please don't think about doing it for me, do it for everyone. Munch and the other guy could already be in danger, we have to play along just enough to make it until SVU can find us.”  
He nodded, “but you heard these guys, most of the things we'll be doing...” he stopped as Quin inferred he was uncomfortable contemplating what they would be forced to do. She softly caressed the small part of his chest with her thumb, “..you'll be forced to do them, there's no way for you to consent-- it'll be rape. I can't hurt you like that, not ever, and especially not now, knowing that Arthur did that you for years, I'd rather die than--”  
Her kind kiss stopped his speech. She wrapped her arms around him and then stopped and pulled away. “Whenever we're doing what they want us to do, remember that moment,or any of the other ones we've had. And as of this moment, no matter what kind of perverse act they want me to do to you, don't think of it as violating me, but that I do consent, legally in a sound and sober state that you can have me anyway you wish, as long as we survive this.  
Mike looked at her. She was consenting to him sexually taking her in any manner they would be forced to do to each other. He was stunned that even in her state of pain and suffering, she could see so far ahead into the future.   
She knows the pain is coming, she's creating a legal pass, those cameras will be recording everything...give it back to her, he thought as he looked deep into her eyes,  
“I consent to, legally in a sound and sober state that you can have me anyway you wish, as long as we survive...” he stopped and looked away, the terror of what they would be enduring, he's have to make it real, send actual fear and pain through the woman he loved more than anyone else, and not be able to stop--no safety word or phrase-- if some demented bastard wanted 'Ariel' to give 'Wilson' a blowjob, he'd not only have to endure it on live camera, but that he's have to be rough with her. Their intimacy was playful, gentle, sensual and that would be snatched from them for a cheap thrill for some weirdo on the internet.  
He wanted to vomit out of revolt as his skin crawled. Was this how she felt when Arthur was hurting her?  
“I know that in twelve hours we're going to be turned into a degrading sex show, but I need to know that we'll get through this, and we'll be happy...” the gold ring in each of her eyes bent by the tears flooding over them.  
He took in a deep breath, “we will, and we'll get through this...” he held her tightly, “I love you so much...”  
she took in a deep breath, “...I love you too...” she sensed him holding back his own shame and humiliation, the thought of assaulting her was breaking him down, bit by bit.  
“Hey, can we take a nap, I'm really cold and you're warm and um...” she shivered in his arms.  
“Yeah,” he barely spoke as they both sat down. His legs stretched out as he held her in his arms, her body sitting across his. Quin rested her head on his chest and heard his pounding heart beat through his chest.  
“Can I tell you something?” her voice stained to get the sentence out.  
“Y-yeah?” he stammered, trying not to let on that he was at his breaking point.  
“You're a good person with a kind heart and I really wish I'd made a move on you, like way sooner. I regret all the moments we've missed out on because I doubted myself not being good enough to have someone like you...” she whispered, her hands holding onto his arms tightly.  
His body shook and she felt a few tears fall on her head. She looked up at him, “Please...we'll be...” she was overwhelmed with her own tears, freely flowing from her eyes. “...we're gonna be okay...”  
“--I'm going to be hurting you repeatedly, how in the hell is that fine?!” his anger lashed out around them, both of them fully gripped by the gravity of their situation.  
“It's going to have to be okay...the odds of them finding us in time...they won't.” she wept.  
“I should have just shot her, I should have fought back...I-”  
“-don't think that way, we're going to get through this, if we don't make peace with it now, they win, those men, the people watching us...they win and we crumble.” she gasped for air and he pulled her closer.  
Both of them wept, mourning the loss of their freedom as the clock on the wall ticked seconds away from them.

 

Benson sat at her desk. It was six am and the sun was still hiding away from her. In less than seven hours four people she respected and cherished were going to be paraded all over the internet for everyone to see. She made the mistake of looking at the request queue and had spent twenty minutes in the women's restroom throwing up. The depravity that humanity had, how the bottom of the barrel kept sinking lower and lower, caused a violent physical reaction. Part of her was embarrassed she had such a raw reaction, but at the same time, how could she not?  
She took a sip of ginger ale that Carisi has brought her, grateful that he'd stuck around and found his home with them. He may have been abrasive and opinionated in the start, but he's become a staple outside of her office, that the thought of him leaving ever, saddened her greatly.  
She heard a knock at her door and motioned Finn in. He was her eldest remaining coworker and a pillar of strength even if he didn't want the job.  
“TARU says nothing new on the traffic feed, but we did get IDs on those guys.”  
Benson ran her hands over her head, “Finn that sounds fantastic, it's far better than the pile of nothing we've been working with.” her tone was enthusiastic as she looked at him, “Why aren't we rejoicing over this?” her browns furrowed out of confusion and a subtle knowledge that there was another roadblock in the case.  
Finn looked at her, “because those two have diplomatic immunity.”  
“What?!” Benson stood up out of her seat as Barba and Carisi walked into her office.  
“Diplomatic immunity? How? One of them has a solid jersey accent that's been lived in-” she saw Barba put his hand up and looked into his grey eyes.  
“Both men are British diplomats.”  
“Yeah, bastards became British citizens four years ago and work for the British government. The tall guy, Louis Pettigrew- not any relation to the Pettigrew case, I doubled checked- was a software engineer for NASA, but was fired once it was revealed that he was sending trade secrets to the other man, Clint Stanford, who was in turn selling them to the highest bidder on the international black market.”  
“how in the hell did these guys get citizenship? Those are some major crimes...” Finn asked.  
Barba raised his eyebrows, “Pettigrew is also a homebrew tech guru and used the millions he got from various internet games and apps to buy their way out of legal trouble. This is why I hate the extremely rich.”  
“What about the other guy? Clint?” Benson questioned.  
“Clint has been in and out of mental wards his whole life, we think Louis is calling the shots and Clint is there to do the physical work.” Carisi answered as he pulled up Clint's psych profile on his tablet and handed it to Benson.  
Her eyes skimmed over the notes about Clint being delusional and violent, stopping once she saw the name of the psychologist presiding over the case.  
“No...no...not George...” she pleaded quietly with herself.  
“Liv, what is it?” Barba asked while taking in her stunned expression.  
“Doctor Huang did his review...and let him leave.”  
“Wait, Huang said this guy was good to do?” Carisi shot out, his hands in fists leaning on the back of Barba's chair, his face wearing a scowl.  
“How could Huang let him out? The guy is nuts.” Finn tacked on.  
“We'll have to ask him ourselves, get Huang in here Finn...nicely.” Benson ordered as Finn left the office. “Carisi, any new feed on the website?”  
Carisi shook his head, “no, no new feeds, they pulled them down after the announcement we all watched. God only knows what being done to them, the moment we catch those-”  
“Sonny,” Barba patted the detective's forearm, “I'll do everything in my power to lock them away and toss the key, I promise you that, but getting ragey won't get them out of there any sooner.”  
“I know councilor, it's just she's-” Carisi caught himself and sensed the others were reading him.  
“She's what, Carisi?” Benson pressed.  
“Liv-” Barba chimed in to assist his boyfriend.  
Carisi sighed, “she's had a rough year and when she was back in London, she was practicing law.”  
“I got that...”Benson folded her hands on top of her desk, “she's been even more guarded since she came back, I just knew something happened over there.”  
Barba tilted his head to the side, “what exactly do you know about her returning to the UK?”  
“Barba, she prosecuted a high profile case, well, assisted with prosecution, she was a witness...” Carisi let the thought sit in the air.  
“Did she win?” Barba asked as Carisi sat on the edge of Benson's desk.  
“yeah, she did, but she was the one that got them the audio needed to prosecute him...”  
“Him?” Benson let out, “Carisi, what happened to Quin?” her eyes squinting as she analyzed him.  
He looked at his boss, a woman he profoundly admired and felt his moral compass being pulled in two different directions. Quin was a true friend; one of the first people to completely accept him being bi and respect him. She was considerate and altruistic in a manner he didn't think existed. Betraying her now would damage their friendship. However, lying to the lieutenant was equally daunting to him. Lieutenant Benson had faced her demons and was an extremely respected member of the force.  
“Carisi,” Benson began, “Was Quin abused?”  
He felt his body relax, he hadn't betrayed his friend and the compassion in Benson's eyes spoke to her understanding the situation he was in.  
“Yeah..she was, a long time ago. She said that the crown requested her to comeback, personally.”  
“He's telling the truth, Quin handed me the papers herself.” Barba added as he shifted in his seat.  
“Has she talked to anyone about it, carrying that around inside her, she'll-” Benson began.  
“She said she would, I believe her, but chances are she didn't have time to with everything going on.” Carisi said as his phone chimed, “oh...” he let out.  
“What is it?” Benson asked.  
“Rollins just got through the first half of the book and she's feelin' on edge, I'll continue to work on the case, but with her mom out of the picture she shouldn't be alone.”  
Benson agreed, “Go be with her, but anything you can get from that book, the better, and Carisi?”  
The slim gentleman looked at her, “Yeah, lieutenant?”  
“There is only six hours until the feed goes live, we're against a ticking clock.”  
He nodded, “ I know, I'll keep running on over drive, scouts honor.” he flung his suit jacket over his shoulders and left the room.  
The door shut and Benson looked at Barba, “I feel bad about pulling it out of him.” her eyes showing concern as she took in a breath.  
“I don't, I don't blame her for keeping it to herself. She's always been reserved, especially with me.” Barba replied as his hands rested on his lap.  
“You're very hard on her, when she was here over a year ago you almost made her want to leave.” Benson picked up her glasses and put them on.  
Barba rolled his eyes, “And I've apologized for that, but she needed to be ready.”  
“She was a barrister for over a decade, how exactly wasn't she ready?” Benson sassed back.  
“Did you know she only lost a handful of cases in her decade there...she doesn't even brag about it, I mean, how do you not brag about something like that?” his eyes squinted a bit.  
Benson's face presented her friend with a smile, “that isn't who she is Rafael, she just wants to help you and you still tend to treat her like a second year law student.” a chuckle escaped Benson's mouth, “she's gotta have the patience of a saint to handle you.”  
Barba let out a huff, “She's British, they don't know how to be mean...” he sighed and crossed his arms, “I don't know how she had the desire to fight those guys off of me. If I were in her shoes I would have called the police and hid, but she jumped in and in all seriousness...”  
“Yes?” Benson leaned forward over her desk.  
“-she kicked some ass. I guess CP's get martial arts training over there too. I should ask the DA about that for here too.” his tone rang with a bit of pride. He'd never admit it, but Quin was one of the few people who could handle him. Her selfless nature pushing back gently against every last defense mechanism he had honed over his life was a sight to see. She would give up everything if it meant that she'd be able to help someone else in need and part of him was jealous of her ability to do it and frightened by it. It would leave her vulnerable to someone manipulative enough to take advantage of her.   
A twinge of sadness hit him, if he had been more accepting or at least blind to her relationship with Dodds, perhaps the wights would have taken him and left her and Dodds alone. The chief wouldn't be on his friend's case and Carisi would tear apart all of New York city to find him, succeed and carry him home to bed and they'd-  
“Barba?” Benson called out his name as she saw the intensity of his thoughts take shape on his face for a moment.  
He shook his head, “I shouldn't have been such an ass...” he shook off the emotions and looked away from Benson.  
“You cannot beat yourself up, we'll find them, we figure out more about them and track them down, and you can prosecute them into an early grave-”  
“-I can't stay, I've got to prep for another case-”  
“Hey, get an escort home, please. Chief's orders for everyone.”  
Barba looked at her with a smart expression, “I don't listen to that guy you know...”  
Benson rolled her eyes, “Do it for me, you ass. Please.” her brown eyes openly expressing her desire to protect him.  
“I will, I promise.” he let out a breath and left her office. He strided across the bullpen and got into the elevator. A slender Latina officer with jet black curly hair smiled at him.  
“Buenos dias” he greeted her  
“Buenos dias” she greeted back in suit. The doors shut and she looked at him.  
“Can I help you with something officer?” he asked in his worn out voice, the stress of recent events smacking him across the face.  
Where is Sonny when you want some pancakes? He mused with himself as her hazel eyes looked at him.  
“Yes.” she replied with a steady and even tone that set off of his internal alarm, “my boss needs to speak to you.”  
“And your commanding officer is whom?”  
She smiled a neat, tight smile, sending more apprehension through his body. Barba's eyes glanced at the floor buttons. B2, was not the floor where the parking garage was on.  
FUCK... he thought as the doors opened and a large,imposing woman with vivid red hair in a neat bun looked at him, a smile on her face.  
“ADA Rafael Barba, it's so good to finally met you. We need to talk.” her silky voice amplified his fear.  
“HEL--” he got out most of the cry for help but was met with a fist to the face. He collapsed to the floor, holding his nose as his eyes caught sight of a man standing next to the woman.  
“You gotta go crying for help now, boyo?” the Irish brogue stitching the sentence together into a straight curt insult.  
“Declan?!” Barba exclaimed.  
Declan looked at the two women, “Who the fuck is Declan, lad? I'm Bishop and you're coming with us, clear?” Bishop replied, picking up Barba like he was a rag doll.  
Crystal Barba thought at he lost consciousness.

 

Cassidy felt a trickle of water run past his head as he woke up. He was in a storage room with both hands free. He glanced to his left and saw Munch lying on a cot, still unconscious.  
“Hey, Munch, get up!” Cassity called out to his friend as he made his way over to the cot. Munch was unresponsive which prompted Cassidy to nudge him in the shoulder. The older man murmured in his sleep, so he shoved him again. The second nudge broke the spell of sleep on Munch and opened his eyes.  
“Not the person I'd want to see by my bed, but at least it means I have company in hell...good for me.”  
Cassidy chuckled, “You okay to move?”  
Munch shot him a look, “We dancing or something now?” he slowly sat up in the cot. Cassidy made a note that Munch wasn't the spring hen he was back in the day.  
“Stop that, that look of 'oh old man' okay, I'm fine, I just don't weigh as much as you do, so the tranquilizers are taking more time to wear off. Munch snapped.  
Cassidy held his hands up, “Sorry, I was worried about you.” he got up and walked over to the door, peeking out the small window. “We've got to be in some kind of abandoned hospital, I get a mental ward vibe from this place, creepy as hell.”  
Munch's eye caught the camera above the door, “Great, most police state surveillance, just what I was missing from this experience...where are Mike and Quin?”  
Cassidy turned back around, “They were separated from us, God, she's gotta be in a world of hurt...”  
Munch stood up and stretched, “she is, I hate to admit it but she's gotta be, it takes time to heal a dislocated shoulder, but she's got Mike with her.”  
“Yeah, now that you bring him up, he does look familiar, like I can place him, but not his last name...anyways he'll be able to protect her.”  
Munch pulled the book out of his jacket, “I don't know. This seems to indicate she'd be better off with one of us instead of him...”  
“...and you never had a thing for her while working with her?” Cassidy's remark didn't lighten the mood like he hoped it would.  
Munch rolled his eyes, “seriously, with that again?”  
“What? Okay, in all seriousness, he cares for her, she should have someone that cares for her with her...she should be that lucky.” Cassidy somberly replied.  
“In the book, like that tall psycho said, Ariel and Wilson are an item, but I skimmed over it and it seems that things get ugly between them- Wilson rapes her during the gauntlet.”  
Cassidy crossed his arms, “He wouldn't, the way he was panicking when those creeps were touching her-”  
“-the requests, he'd be forced to. If he doesn't then one of them would.” Munch solemnly answered.  
“There has to be a way out of here...we've gotta bust out of here!” Cassidy's hands turned into fists, ready to break through any barriers that were present.  
“Cool your heels Cassidy, the best thing we can do is bide our time. Chances are it's what Quin and Mike are doing...hopefully all they are doing...” Munch said as his eyes met the camera. “We're running out of time...”

 

“We've got nearly three million accounts on the site and growing!” the shorter man said to his taller counterpart. The taller man barely registered his voice so he repeated it again.  
“Hey, Louis, you listening?!” the short man squawked as his counterpart continued to stare at the monitor. Both men were able to set up an elaborate video and audio system that showed them every inch of the abandoned hospital and it has been a worthwhile endeavor that permitted them to watch the moments of terror in real time.  
Louis's face continued to stare at the screen before him, it was the camera dedicated to the room they put Ariel and Wilson in. His blue eyes were wide as he listened to them reassuring each other.  
Why is she doing that? He's just gonna rape her anyways, why show him any compassion?  
Louis's thought bubble was broken by his friend shouting.  
“No fucking way! Hey, Louis...” the man shoved his hand over the screen and Louis finally looked up.  
“What the hell Clint, I was...What?!” Louis exclaimed as the turned up the volume on Clint's tablet and watched the news story.  
“Reports indicate that any and all leads can be directed to Manhattan SVU. Chief William Dodds, the father of one of the four missing people released his own statement, calling for mercy from the men who have taken his son.”  
The view went from the reporter to the live feed of chief Dodds standing behind a podium with an expressionless face.  
“To the men who have taken my son, Sgt. Mike Dodds and four colleagues I know and respect, we ask only for them to be returned and to be returned safely-”  
Louis and Clint laughed, “This guys has to be joking-” Louis got through his laughter.  
“Hey, hey, we should pipe this into their rooms...” Clint said as he took the tablet and reconfigured it so that the rooms their captives were in were listening in on chief Dodds speech.  
“Nice, psychological torture!” Louis said as he hi fived Clint. Both men continued to watch the press event as the clock struck ten am.

 

“Carisi, stop cooking food...please...” Rollins ordered from her bedroom. Her hand rested on her stomach, which released a gurgle. Normally, she enjoyed the good detective's cooking, but he seemed to be a bit off his game this morning.  
“Okay, so anything else you need?” his head peeked around her door frame, his face etched with a smile to disguise his worry.  
“I'm fine, you didn't have to stay so long, I feel bad keeping you from work, Liv and the rest need you to get back, it's almost noon...I can take care of myself, I've mastered ordering take out.” she chuckled hoping that she expressed her gratitude without being all sentimental about it.  
“Crap! It's noon?!” Carisi shouted. A bit of hair freed itself from his head and fell down into his face.   
Rollins eyes got large, “Grab my laptop, the gauntlet thing is gonna start soon!”  
Carisi grabbed her laptop and sat next to her on her bed. Rollins pulled up the website and was rummaging through the front page when a feed sprang up, shutting down the rest of the website.  
“No, they can't be starting now!” Carisi gasped. He glanced at Amanda who was struck still. “You okay to watch this?”  
Rollins shook her head, “Yeah...yeah, totally fine.”  
Both of them watched the feed warm up but instead of seeing the men they'd identified they saw a room set up like a courthouse, decrepit and barely held together. There were no places for prosecution and defense, only a judge's seat and places for people to stand marked with a purple circle. Various military dressed people pulled the four of them forward, each one of them into a purple circle. The people looked dirty and unkempt like street people and were holding semi automatic guns.  
“Jesus...” Carisi mouthed as he crossed himself.  
Quin stood next to a man he didn't recognize and then next to the man was Munch and Dodds on the other end. All four of them looked as if they were in dire straights, barely any life in them. Quin was the worst off, she wasn't able to stand as well as the others. All four of them were in costumes that looked like they were out of the novel itself.  
“What did they do to her?!” Carisi growled as Rollins looked up at him.  
“It'll be better if you don't think on that..” she quietly replied, as they watched the two men from before come out and sit at the judges chair. The shorter man stood as the taller man took his seat.  
“Before us stand four traitors to the Monteru empire,” the taller man stated, “all four have been found guilty of the following crimes:  
“Ariel Langston, heiress to the Peppido empire, guilty of sexual manipulation of a Monteru agent, along with creating a fascist republic and causing agony and suffering to thousands-”  
“-you're lying!” Quin called out as a guard came over and smacked her hard across the face.  
“Quin!” Dodds called out, unable to help her due to the guns pointed at them.  
“Someone shut her up!” the shorter man, Clint, demanded. The guard took out a roll of duct tape and put a piece over her mouth. “Better.” Clint smug tone replied.  
Rollins glanced at Carisi, who was fuming at the thought of anyone hurting their friend and almost wanted to shut the laptop off, but kept watching.  
The taller man, Louis, continued, “Private Davis, you are guilty of sexual assault of an heiress and resisting the moral code of the Monteru empire. Inspector Masau-”  
“-that's chief inspector Masau, your honor-” Munch interjected. Dodds turned and glared at him, his eyes speaking to ending Munch's existence if his snide comment meant any harm to Quin.  
“It's the role, Mike...” Munch whispered to him. Dodds was still on edge.  
“Yes, Chief inspector Masau, you are guilty of mass corruption of the Peppido sniper squad, grand larceny and conspiracy against the Monteru government. Louis finished and allowed Clint to take over. Carisi and Rollins saw Dodds glare at the beady eyes Clint flashed at him.   
“That's the bastard that manhandled Quin, the moment I get my hands on that motherf-”  
“I know, I'm right there with you...” Rollins replied, her own anger leaking into her voice.  
“He's gotta be loosing it, I know I would be.” Carisi said as Rollins nodded and they turned their attention back to the feed.  
“Wilson Monteru, heir to the Monteru empire, you are guilty of all counts of sexual assault on Ariel Langston, along with conspiracy with an enemy of the empire.”  
“Go to hell!” Dodds shouted.  
Louis smiled, “You first, Wilson.” as he pulled a lever behind his judge's chair and all four of them fell through the trap floor circles.  
“NO!” Carisi and Rollins shouted was they saw their friends plummet, the feed went dead.


	12. Running of the gautlet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The running of the gauntlet is here, with Quin, Dodds, Munch, and Cassidy all at the mercy of deranged psychopaths. Will they be able to handle the first request or will they fall victim to the gauntlet itself?
> 
> A bit more of the past becomes clearer for members of SVU as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,
> 
> Thanks for the views and continued readership of this adventure, I appreciate it. 
> 
> Feel free to check out my tumblr page: Ladyzootie, and add me if you like. I'm open to taking prompts and trying something new in the writing sense.
> 
> I'm gonna keep making this thing go.

The dull ache in his head woke him, but the light shining into his eyes forces him to accept his reality. He remembered Declan punching him, the red headed woman, the Latina officer cornering him in the elevator. He felt an arm pull him up off the floor, his back stiff and sore as he felt himself tied to a chair, his hands wrapped around the back of it.  
Barba groaned and looked up. He was in a cement walled room with a single light above him. He turned his head and felt his neck pull tight with sore muscles.  
Excellent, I'm kidnapped and there is a crick in my neck... he mused as he lost the train of thought.  
“You're awake, good. How are you?” the Latina officer asked. Barba noticed she was no longer in a uniform, but instead clad in a form fitting henley top, black jeans, black leather jacket and a pair of heeled black ankle boots.  
“Are you being facetious?” he shot out at her. The light swung into his eyes again and he winced.  
“No, I actually am serious with my inquiry. I'll get Tomas--”  
“-wait!” Barba gasped, “What's your name?”  
Her hazel eyes grew larger, “I'm Patrice, I'll get Tomas, she'll want to talk to you...”  
“She?” Barba cocked his head to the side as the throbbing continued.  
“Yes, Tomas is a she, always has been...you really aren't that smart, huh?” Patrice smirked at him and then left the room.  
He struggled against his restraints and mentally chided himself that he didn't make a better effort to workout. Bet Dodds could get out of this... he thought as the tall ginger woman returned to the room.  
“Ah, ADA Barba, I see you are awake. Can Patrice get you anything?” her hand guided his chin towards her face. Barba noticed her red lipstick, it looked similar to the shade his mother wore when she went to bingo. He had only went with her a couple of times, and usually she shooed him home so she could hook up with an old friend. However, her most striking feature was her vivid green eyes, that reminded him of an old lover of his, but the light blue top she was wearing took his mind to Sonny.  
Anything to be with Sonny right now... he thought as Tomas smiled at him with her cherry red lips.  
“So you're the reason why I had to cross the pond to get Quin into my sights again.” her silky voice stated, her hand still holding on to his chin.  
“Excuse you?” he questioned as he tried to focus on anything other than her eyes. It was challenging.  
“You made her come back, she would have stayed in London if you didn't interfere with--”  
“--I hardly interfered, she choose to return--!”  
Tomas smacked him across the face, “You convinced her that her real family was here, but in all reality, we're her family!” Tomas gestured at Patrice.  
Barba chuckled, “I hardly think she'd work or live with either one of you-”  
Again Tomas struck him, so hard she knocked him over in his chair.  
“Oi! Stop!” A familiar sounding brogue broke through the air around them. Barba saw Declan, or rather Bishop, come into the room and grab a hold of Tomas's arm.  
“Let me go!” Tomas shouted as she struggled. Bishop let go of her, holding up his hands as he took a step back.  
“Patrice, what the hell?” Tomas shot her counterpart a dirty look.  
“Tomas, please...I...” Patrice looked away, then at Bishop who gave her a kind look and then jumped into the conversation.  
“Tomas, don't put that on her, and stop smacking him...hurting him will only enrage SVU. He needs to be kept safe, do it as a favor for me?”  
Barba openly laughed as Patrice picked him up, “Oh that's cute, keep him safe, for me, the man who caused all of this!”  
“Pardon you boyo?!” Bishop's anger poorly checked by his tone.  
Tomas smiled, “Yet I'm the one who's angry?” she crossed her arms over her chest.  
“You heard me, if you hadn't abducted her in the first place--” Barba spat out.  
“I had to! Damnit, if I didn't get her out of harms way then Sullivan's men would have- I couldn't break that illusion...”  
“You had her for two months! You-” Barba stopped as the throbbing in his head crushed his ability to think and he shut his eyes and then groaned.  
“And I regret it!” Bishop's eyes expressed his sincerity.  
“Wait, you took her?!” Tomas let out a groan as she looked at him, “Why?! Did you hurt her?!” her hands formed into fists.  
“No! Never!” Bishop flashed back to when he had taken Quin, forced her to be a mute named Nora, take care of the girls he was trying to save. She had been perfectly submissive and kind to him, even after he had shot her and her cat. “I had no choice, my cover was at risk and Sullivan was at large, I took her and took care of her--”  
Barba forced himself to open his eyes and stare daggers at him, “Care?! I didn't realize that a bullet to the shoulder was care...good thing to know, maybe I'll shoot my next intern, I'll just be caring for them.”  
Tomas lunged at Bishop and knocked him over. “YOU SHOT MY QUINIE?! ARE YOU NUTS?!” she screamed as she took out a switchblade from her boot and broke it into their struggle. Barba heard a gun clock and looked at Patrice who was pointing it at both of them.  
“Stop it! Please, Tomas he's a good person, I know it I...”  
“You wouldn't dare shoot me...” Tomas's green eyes flashed with seething anger.  
“I may...if you harm him. I'd still be flippin' tricks if it wasn't for him...he saved me and I respect him for that...please...just stop.” Her hazel eyes shined with held back tears and Barba couldn't help but wonder how many times they did that while she worked on the streets.  
Bishop took the moment, “Tomas, it was a bad call, if she would have just come with me, I'd never shot her-”  
“Just like if you didn't intimidate her in her own office, she wouldn't have feared for her life when you broke into her apartment and shot her?” Barba began.  
Bishop growled in a mixture of shame and annoyance, Barba continued, “I had to tell her that we caught you, you were upstate and even then she had her reservations. I'm not entirely sure that you didn't rape her-”  
“I'd never, ever do that!!!” Bishop bellowed. Patrice flinched and Tomas got off of Bishop and took Patrice's gun. “Good girl Patrice...” Tomas cooed into Patrice's ear, her free hand resting on Patrice's hip and gently stroking her hip bone. “So,” she pointed the gun at Bishop, “Did you do her?” her voice went from silky to ice cold in milliseconds.  
Barba noted the fear in Bishop's eyes as the Irish man replied, “No, I didn't. I'm not gonna lie, I found her attractive, I was alone and she was alone. We had to present ourselves as a couple, it kept her safe from anyone trying to make a move on her. If I had told the others she was a hooker, they could have tipped any pimp off nearby. It was the safest thing I could do.”  
Tomas put the safety on the gun and pistol whipped him with it. Barba smiled as he recalled when Sonny had been smacked by Declan while undercover.  
Poetic Justice he thought, patting himself on the back mentally.  
Bishop fell to the ground as Patrice got between Tomas and him.  
“Please, that's enough! Tomas, he saved me! He brought me to you and we found each other- he gave us our intimacy-”  
“That's all well and good, but he hurt Quinie--”  
“-she doesn't love you!” Patrice pleaded, her arms spread out to protect Bishop. Tomas put the gun in her belt as tears formed in her eyes.  
“Is there anyone besides me that doesn't want to have sex with my underling?” Barba sassed. Patrice and Tomas glared at him. The last thing he saw was Tomas's fist darting towards him. He reeled from the impact and was once more knocked to the ground.  
“Leave them...ugh, men...” Tomas fumed, her voice distorting as he lost consciousness

 

Chief Dodds's rare display of kindness unnerved Benson more than her colleagues missing. It was noon, and the feed was being shown at the precinct's smartboard against her wishes. The chief was adamant that the feed be continuous and easy to see. She took the cup of freshly brewed coffee and nursed it as her, Finn, and the chief watched their friends and family be sentenced in the fictitious courtroom. Benson glanced at her phone-no call from Barba- usually he was good about staying in the loop with situations like these, but lately he'd fallen off the bandwagon.  
“Go to hell!” Sgt. Dodd's shouted at the judge.  
Benson noticed the chief making a small 'yeah' gesture with his fist, the idea that he could divorce the horror of this feed from his son's defiance was mind blowing to her.  
“You first, Wilson!” the shorter man they had identified as Clint Stanford sneered, then pulled a lever.  
“MIKE! NO!” the chief shouted as he spilled coffee on the precinct floor. He watched his son go through a trap door into the unknown.  
“Does TARU have anything on this set up?!” the chief carried on. Finn continued to look at the feed, tuning out Chief Dodds. She felt a pang of jealously of the detective's ability ignore the chief, but then turned her attention to the screen again.  
“Hang in there guys...” she said as her heart pleaded for them to get the message.

Quin hit the ground hard on her bottom. She took a moment to recover from her fall. Her eyes saw through the small amount of light that she was in the basement of the same building they had been marched into. There was a small light source but most of her view was limited from the darkness. Quin allowed herself ample time to stand up, her ankle was still painful to put her full weight on, but due to the several scrapes on her legs and her shoulders still hurting, comparatively she gave into the delusion she was getting better.  
She leaned against the cold tiled wall and began to make her way down the hallway. Her body felt so fatigued that walking was a chore. If this sadistic gauntlet was to go on for three weeks, they'd all die of sleep deprivation, if the break neck pace was to continue. Her fingertips used the mortar grooves to hold on, as she got to the end of the hallway and felt a door before her.  
Would it be wise to open this? I guess I don't have a choice, this is where they dropped me she thought as she turned around and saw the darkness behind her. Her eyes caught that the tiny light source, a small camping lantern was dangling over her head. She took in a deep breath, completely aware that the next movements were going to cause her tremendous agony as she reached up and grabbed the light while crying out into the darkness. The lantern was in her hands, she opened the door with care and stepped into the pitch black room, with only a small radius of light around her person.  
“Good thing I brought this...” she told herself as she rested the lantern in the crook of her left arm. She took several steps further in and began to see that the room was furnished with a single twin sized mattress on the floor, covered in various stains, along with a wood backed chair to sit in. Quin directed the lantern's light with her right hand and realized she was in the room all alone.  
“No, it's only noon, why let us sleep, why separate us?” she questioned the chair as she heard the door open and saw Munch standing in the door frame.  
“Thank goodness.” Munch spoke as he turned on his flashlight and walked over to her. Quin stepped back, a rush of uneasiness taking over her.  
“Hey I'm not here to hurt you, I've got the book and according to our story arch, I never hurt you and you don't hurt me.”  
“Oh, so we're like each other's safety?” Quin tacked on to his sentence.  
Munch nodded, “Pretty much. Bri-Cassidy and I were looking over the book and you're actually safer with us than Mike.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“There isn't an easy way to say this-” he flipped to an earmarked page and held it out for her to read, shining his flashlight on it.  
Quin looked at the passage and skimmed it over. It told the story of how they fought with each other, loosing their cool with each other, and finally a violent sexual assault of Ariel by Wilson's doing.  
“No, please, no...” Quin begged, as she closed the book.  
“I'm sorry you had to read that, but Cassidy and I thought it was fair for you to know.” his kind tone stuck in her head.  
“I knew it wouldn't be easy for you two to do especially after what went down before you got here.” she skimmed the room over, “Don't you find it odd that there isn't a camera in this room?”  
Munch shined his flashlight around the room, “You're right, it's got to be some kind of safe space, but why?”  
“sleep deprivation would set in with all of us within a couple of days, also they'd need a way to rest themselves, something about the shorter guy just tells me that the taller man doesn't completely trust him but rather he needs him.”  
“A plausible explanation, so, you want the chair or the mattress? If this is our resting room, better get to resting...” Munch offered, shining his light on each.  
“Your pick, you are the eld-”  
“-don't old guy me, you've got to be in tons of pain still, so the mattress would be better for you, also, if this show goes on, it wouldn't surprise me if they got mad at you for not getting your beauty sleep.” Munch replied, situating himself in the chair.  
“Agreed, but, I didn't offer you first pick because you are older than me, but rather because you popped in both of my shoulders and you're a respectable investigator. It was more like a return of a favor kind of thing.”  
Munch smiled, “I'll buy that answer for the time being...” he shut his eyes and Quin made her way over to the mattress and curled up on it. It felt nothing like her mattress at home, the one she longed to be on with Dodds snuggling her. Within several seconds, both of them were fast asleep, their bodies recovering from the morning's events.

 

Dodds hit the ground hard, his shoulder taking most of the impact, a hard smack echoing in his ears.   
“ugh...” he let out as he pulled himself up in the room. It was well lit and he began running down the hall, resisting the urge to call out Quin's name. He dead ended into a door and opened it.  
This could be a ruse to draw her out he thought as he noticed several cameras in the room, mounted in all four corners. His contemplation was broken by the other man, the one called private Davis falling into the room right next to him.  
“Shit!” the man called out as he got up and took a moment to recover.  
“Here-” Dodds extended his hand, which the man looked at and then passed on taking.  
“Or not, your choice...” Dodds pulled his hand back and attempted small talk with him. He had observed several dozen times in his childhood how his father was able to work himself into someone's good graces via small tidbits of dialogue.  
“So...private Davis, what's your actual name?”  
“Cassidy, Brian Cassidy.” the man told him.  
“Sergeant Mike Dodds, Manhattan SVU.”  
Cassidy's eyes raised a bit, “Your old man had that press conference, pleading for you to be returned, the one those assholes piped into our rooms. He knows that three other people are in here with you, right?”  
Dodds let out a knowing sigh while he rubbed his stiff neck, “Yeah...”  
Cassidy butted in, “Look, all I'm saying is a name drop would have been nice...”  
“It would have been, look, right now we need to focus getting out here-”  
“Good afternoon gentlemen,” the taller man's voice shot through the speakers Mike had missed spotting earlier, “we've had some seriously complex requests come through, but in the mean time, we're gonna try some of the more basic ones.”  
Through the trap door Cassidy came through two police batons fell to the floor.  
“The first, and yes, the tamest under the fighting queue is a good old fashioned cop fight, fitting since both of you are pigs, ha! Take one and have at it! Remember, your fans are watching!” the speakers clicked as each man grabbed a baton and stood apart from one another. Neither man wanted to make the first move.  
Beating up some random... Dodds thought as he saw Cassidy continue to stand still.  
The speaker clicked back on, “Oh this is how you're gonna play it, huh...well...” the speaker clicked and they heard a loud buzzing, then Quin and Munch both crying out in pain.  
“Quin!”  
“John!”  
“That's right, we knew you'd need some motivation, so we fitted your smarter halves with shock collars, which shout out to user pathofdaggers for the suggestion!” the tall man's voice chuckled, “every time you two just stand there like idiots, they get shocked, oh and uh, the voltage goes up with every resistance...twice as fast for Ariel, so Wilson I'd get, oh ho!”  
Dodds struck Cassidy in the kneecap as hard as he could.  
“Oh!” Cassidy cried out as he fell on his back. Dodds couldn't think, the desire to keep Quin safe overrode every moral fiber in his being and he despised himself for it. He froze for a moment and looked at his hands.  
“well don't stop-” the buzzing and Quin screaming broke through the tall man's voice, “--She's hurting...and when you are hitting private Davis, you're giving a little electrical hug to the good inspector.”  
Dodds walked towards Cassidy who was still reeling from being hit.  
“Agh!” Dodds felt Cassidy sweep his leg under him, knocking him to the ground. Cassidy knelt on his wounded knee and used the baton to choke Dodds.  
“Oh private Davis, you're getting some fans! Keep going, just a little bit longer...”  
Dodds felt his body going numb, the image of Quin being shocked to death snapped him out of it and he elbowed Cassidy in the rib.  
“Motherfuc-” Cassidy collapsed to the ground.  
“Agh!” Munch shouted.  
Dodds kicked the baton away from Cassidy and struck him over and over, Munch's cries of pain growing with intensity around him.

 

“When in the hell did we get these put on us?!” Quin shouted after being shocked a good fifteen seconds. The current caused her shoulders to begin spasming and she tried to hold her arms still.  
“Must have been while we were out from the darts...agh!”  
“Munch!” Quin said as he fell out of the chair.  
“Stay back, if they sense we're helping each other, I can only see it getting worse...crap!”  
“Wait, don't you have that paperclip still?!” she called out as she felt the spasms getting worse.  
“Yes, I do but—agh! Crap! But...can we pick—agh! These things?!”  
“Better never than-aaaggghh!” she fell back on the mattress, her body shaking from the current which was twice as strong as before. Munch went to her side and found the paperclip and used his flashlight to look at her neck.  
“Sons of...used a plastic seal around the—crap that hurts!--it's pick proof.”  
“Do you seriously think we'd let you take them off?!” the shorter man's voice sneered.  
“These bloody things have a microphone built into them! Gods, make it stop!” Quin whimpered as she turned on to her stomach, clutching it from the pain.  
Munch held his up to his mouth, “Cassidy, stop hitting each other! Pleas—agh!”  
Quin was panting, the spasms, her shoulder, her ankle, all the pain culminated into one huge shock. “AAAGGGHHH!!!” her body stopped moving and she passed out from the pain.  
“Quin!?” Munch shouted.

 

Dodds missed his chance to deflect Cassidy's blow to the back of his head and felt the baton crashing into his skull. “AAAGGGHHH!” Quin's scream echoed as he collapsed from the blow.  
“I'm sorry....I'm sorry...” Cassidy breathlessly replied as he fell to his knees.  
“Private Davis, congratulations, you've won the first request...” the tall man clapped into the speaker, “You've won yourself and the good chief inspector some rest and relaxation...but Wilson and Ariel will have to make it up to the fans. Time to take a nap...” Underneath the door fumes began to seep into the room. Cassidy tried his best to cover his mouth and nose, but soon the fumes overpowered him and he fell to the floor.

 

Carisi checked his phone, still no call. It wasn't like Rafi not to at least text him back with some generic answer, but it was odd that he wasn't due in court for another day or two.  
With the caseload he works, how does he have this time off, and why isn't he keeping in touch?  
“Hey, you okay?” Rollins asked as she got out of bed and made her way to her living room, where Carisi was reading through the book on her over sized reading chair.  
Carisi's eyes broke from the page, “Yeah, just trying to see if there's anything in here that can help them out at all...who writes this kind of smut, then gets it published?” his blue eyes weighed down with sadness, disgust, and outrage.  
Rollins sat on the sofa across from him with her hand on her bump, “that's actually a very good question...it isn't listed in the book itself...” she picked up her phone and did an internet search, “apparently there are two authors, a Rita Merchant, and an unnamed ghost writer. Weird, most ghost writers work on biographies and stuff, right?”  
Carisi nodded, “yeah, what else has she written? And why wouldn't see want her name published?”  
Rollins skimmed over the small internet article about her, “can a ghost writer have that kind of say over whether or not you can put your name in your own book? If so, I'll write my autobiography by myself. Funny...”  
“What?”  
“There is seriously nothing about any other works by her, her wiki page is empty. It doesn't list her ghost writer's name but there is a link to an article about the re-release of the book and she mentioned some guy from the UK, named Arthur--”  
Carisi's body froze, No no way! Arthur Cutlass, the guy who locked Quin away and abused her for years....it couldn't be a coincidence, “Hey does Arthur ever come up in any press releases, like a picture of him or anything else? Any hints of him being a ghost writer before this?”  
“No, but there is a mother watch dog group that claims to have a link between Rita's ghost writer, this Arthur guy, and ties to a child prostitution ring...” the look on Rollins face told Carisi that she was experiencing an epiphany. “Carisi, when Quin went back to London...that's around the time the book was in works for its re-release, when they were making the graphic novel addition to it. I couldn't place the model for Ariel, I was so tired, but now that I think about it, they used Quin as a model for Ariel. And they used the other guys as models as well...but why? Munch and Cassidy never worked any kind of cases like that, and Dodds was still in anti-crime at the time....”  
“Amanda...” Carisi stood up, but she continued.  
“This article says that the artist was imprisoned with the ghostwriter, Arthur, and both were tried on cases involving child prostitution...and Quin was an orphan and this Arthur guy ran an orphanage...oh god...” her hand rubbed her bump.  
“You can't let anyone else know, it was so hard for her to get it out to me...she's buried it for years Amanda...” Carisi pleaded. Rollins looked at him with hurt eyes.  
“She was hurt by this Arthur guy, who was a ghost writer of the book and he used it an inspiration when he had his fellow art buddy draw up the graphic novel thing?”  
“Yeah...the first part, but the second part I don't think she knows about,” he crossed himself, “I hope to God she never does...” he checked his phone again, still no new messages.  
“Carisi, you have to take this to Liv, she's gotta know...”  
He looked at his cellphone once more and ran a hand through his hair, a small curl bouncing in joyful liberation.  
“So, uh, when you gonna tell me what happened between you and Barba this weekend?” a small smile crossed her face.  
“Rollins I'll fill you in on all the things that didn't happen this weekend...I've gotta go, something just tells me to check in on Barba.” he put on his over coat.  
“Hey-” Rollins stopped him and then shoved the book into this hands, “Finish it, again, I can't do it, I just can't...” she couldn't conceal her grimace from him.  
“Okay.” he replied as he gave her a smile and made his way out of her apartment.  
Please let this be a false alarm...please be okay Rafi... Carisi thought as he rushed down the stairs.

 

“You are not okay, are you boyo?” Bishop's hoarse voice called out, minus his trademark brogue that crawled around Barba's head still. He was barely able to lift his head, but her managed to in order to scowl at the lieutenant. “Please pray tell, what was your give away? Was it the giant welt on my cheek or the complete state of disarray I'm in?” he spat out.  
Bishop chucked as he got off the floor. Barba made a mental note that Declan had more gray in his hair than the last time he had seen him. The last year or so had aged him greatly and Barba took a moment to mentally smile over it.  
Good, I hope he goes grayer than Tucker in the next week...serves him right, ass. Barba mentally sassed as Declan walked over and sat him right side up. The chair was starting to bore him.  
“It's time we talked” Declan said as Barba looked away, “Fine, don't be a decent human being, but I am gonna explain myself either way, then I'm getting out of here, okay?” he ran a hand through his long hair, “I regret shooting Quin, and killing her cat-indirectly- but most of all, I regret putting that fear into her. If there would have been any other way that night could have gone, I would have taken it in a heart beat okay?”  
Barba laughed, “Sure...”  
Declan rolled his eyes, “You were never good at seeing the whole picture, funny since she is.”  
Barba glared at Declan, “That's how you broke her in, made it clear that she was smart...” saliva built up in his mouth, but he swallowed it instead of spitting at the man.  
“I never touched her...I...”Declan stopped as he saw Quin in his mind, she was standing before him topless, equally outraged and terrified over his overstep with removing her shirt to clean her bullet wound. It was clear then that she had been hurt before.  
“I don't really care if you did, she's an adult, but I was without any legal help for over a year. She up and left because of you.” Barba hissed.  
“And for that, among other things I am sorry for...but now you need to know why, Sullivan was going to kill her before she could try him, he called out a hit on her and anyone with her, especially that lanky detective, the dorky one...”  
“Detective Carisi-” Barba clamped his mouth shut, sensing Declan picking up on his true feelings.  
“Hmmm, the best choice was to take her and get her out of state, it was why she went to Connecticut with me. She was fed, clothed, healthy-”  
“-She was wounded, and in a situation where she was unable to get out on her own, and she only escaped when one of your girls miscarried! Seriously, there is no possible spin on that Murphy, none!” Barba shouted.  
“She's fine now!” Declan growled back, running his hands through his hair again.  
“The hell she is! She's more timid than ever, she hardly socializes with anyone and it's taken months for her to even feel safe in her own office which the DA's office wasn't pleased to have to refurbish after you attacked her there the first time-”  
“If you two hadn't pushed me. It would have never happened! You two couldn't leave it alone and I had to act!”  
“Not acting is also acting!” Barba continued to shout.  
Declan turned around, “Why do you even care? You treat her like dirt, you've been nothing but a prick to her, you make her run around doing a thousand things for one tiny bit of hope that she'll make you happy. Newsflash, when you shoot someone, the wounds heal, but when you string someone along with the false sense of hope, that stays with you, and it's shitty to do to someone like her!  
Barba's eyes narrowed, “You've been hiding for the last year or more, how in the hell did you ever-you had someone on the inside, who?”  
“Like I'd ever tell you?! Really?” Declan cocked his head to the side. The door opened and Patrice walked in.  
“I see you both are...well, alive. Good.” Patrice's voice was flat as she crossed her arms.  
“How am I to get back into her good graces?”Declan once more became Bishop as the brogue sunk back into this voice.  
“She's just mourning, she really didn't need to know about what happened to Quin last year. She says you can go, but he has to stay.” Patrice pointed at Barba, who looked at Bishop.  
“Why?” Bishop asked as he kept eyes on Barba who was beginning to sweat bullets.  
“She still needs him, collateral. He won't be hurt since she senses he's different from the others.   
“Aye” Bishop nodded and left the room.  
“Hey!” Barba shouted. Patrice turned around and walked out of the room. She left him alone with only his thoughts and rope burn to keep him company.

 

She woke up in a dark room with barely any lighting. Quin tried to get off her back and on to her stomach but was unable to. She felt around herself for the lantern and found it next to his arm. She took in a breath and turned her head slowly, the way the light flickered off of his hair, catching the chestnut strands she knew it was Mike but he was unconscious.  
“Mike...please wake up...” she weakly pleaded. Her worn nerves were fraying; staying in her situation with constantly having to remain hyper vigilant was eroding away her sanity.  
“Just one moment of peace, love, kindness...please” she begged the universe. Quin felt around her neck and let out a grateful sigh that the shock collar was gone. Her hands went to his neck and he was also without one.  
“Thank Gods...” she breathlessly said as her hands went to his face. He was warm, his blood still circulating through his veins and she touched his chest. She could feel his heartbeat, which was steady and she leaned her mouth near his ear and whispered his name. The lighting in the room grew brighter and she saw the gash on the side of his head.  
“No...please, no c'mon, stay with me!” she forced every muscle of her body to sit herself up and kneel by his head. She saw the blood slowly trickling down from the wound and ripped off part of her sleeve and pressed against it. His eyes opened and he let out a groan. She tried her best to look happy to see him as he looked up at her.  
“I...hey...I'm...” he struggled to find words but was rewarded with her kissing his forehead.  
“Don't apologize, it's okay...we're still alive.” she stoked his hair with her touch-gentle yet clammy.  
“How did you survive?” he asked as he gradually sat up. Quin held him closer to her chest. She wanted nothing more in the world than to hold him close under her blankets in bed and feel his love for her warm them both.  
“I passed out, I guess Cassidy was able to knock you out before the maximum wattage set in. You really shouldn't fall back asleep, you may have a concussion.”  
“I'm sorry, I failed-”  
“No, Munch had one on too, I'm younger than he is and the shocks could have done long term damage to him. I'm okay, I'm here with you.”  
Dodds put his hand over hers and took over putting pressure on the wound. Quin rubbed her hands together. She was freezing; any and all parts of her body that were not against his were ice cold. He took his other hand, still bandaged and wrapped it around her waist.   
“You're freezing, that woman couldn't have given me another layer, so I could give it to you...” his voice hung with remorse as Quin pulled him closer, pressing herself against him for warmth.  
“I think it's funny they said that we were first, but you and Cassidy went at it. Something has to be off with their plans, or where ever we are isn't as secure as they'd want to believe.” she contemplated as she fought the urge to wrap her whole body around him.  
His eyes caught sight of her blouse, “that blouse is nothing, and I have nothing to give you, I'm sorry.”   
“Oh but there is something you can give her, it's time for some good old fashioned lovin'” the taller man's voice ejected from the speakers around them.  
Her body shook as the lights grew brighter and they saw they were in a large glass room with dozens of video cameras pointed at them.  
Be strong, don't give into the fear she repeated in her mind as the shorter man's voice jumped in, “Okay Ariel and Wilson shippers, this is your time to shine, we're gonna help these two build a little romance...”

 

Carisi swung by Barba's office and knocked on the door.  
“Barba, you in there?” Carisi questioned as Carmen came over to him.  
“Looking for Barba detective?”  
Carisi smiled, “Yeah, had a few questions for him, for school.” he played it cool as he relaxed his body.  
“Oh, I have some questions too, like why he wasn't in court this morning, no one can get a hold of him. I just spend the better part of an hour trying to cover for him with the DA.”  
“WHAT?!” Carisi shouted as Carmen leaned back, “He'd never, ever miss trial! Who escorted him home after you guys reported the wights thing!?”  
“He stayed with lieutenant Benson, then...it had to be someone from your precinct.” Carmen suggested.  
“Carmen, keep mum about him missing, please?” Carisi patted her arm as she gave him a nervous smile. “I've gotta go, I'll call if I get anything on it.” he added as he bolted from her office to the precinct.  
He sprinted into the bullpen when his eyes caught sight of an officer he hadn't noticed before- slender, Latina, jet black curly hair- looking over some documents on Dodds' desk. No one else was paying attention due to the focus being on what brutal and demented thing was going to be done to his friends, all of them.  
“Hey! YOU!” Carisi shouted at the Latina officer, who looked up and bolted.  
“Carisi?!” Benson shouted as the detective sped past her and ran down the stairwell. Carisi ran faster and faster, then grabbed her arm and pulled her down the stairs.  
“Ah!” she shouted as her knee hit the edge of the stairs and crashed on to the landing.  
“Where is he?!” Carisi growled as he handcuffed her, completely indifferent to her pain.  
“I'm officer Rodriguez. It's my first day, what the hell does this precinct do to newbies?!” she shouted in retaliation. He picked her up and slammed her into the wall.  
“There has never been an officer Rodriguez here, who are you?!” he pressed her as he continued to hold her against the wall.  
“I'm a woman who has information you desperately need, about your friend, that ADA and your lover, heh, that other ADA.” she teased. Carisi grabbed her hair and turned her head to face him.  
“If she or he or any of them is hurt, I will make the rest of your time on earth a. living. Hell. We clear?!” his eyes shredded any empathy they normally held and were ice cold.  
“Detective, stand down!” Benson's voice called out.   
“She knows where Quin and Barba are at--!” Carisi defended as he marched the woman up the landing. His eyes were no longer bright and shining, and it haunted Benson. She took over holding the woman, “Detective, cool off and we'll get her to speak--”  
The woman turned her head and spat at Benson, resulting in Carisi reflexively grabbing her by the throat and pinning her to the wall.  
“Carisi, leave now!” Benson shouted, wiping the spit off her cheek. He glared at the woman, then flexed his right hand open as the pain began to register in his mind.   
He watched Benson escort the woman out of the stairwell and once they were gone, he collapsed on the landing. His own tsunami of emotions splashing on to his face. He cried; one of his best friends was being tortured by two men with diplomatic immunity and his lover was somewhere in the state having god knows what done to him. It was all hopeless, he couldn't utilize his happy go lucky nature to lighten the load, he was crushed, defeated, and wanted absolute revenge. Mercy was not on his mind, getting the case solved was. After a few moments allowing the frustrated tears to flow as a curative to his heartache, his phone rang.  
Unknown caller. He answered it.  
“Hello?” he made a fist, annoyed with himself that his voice sounded water logged and he punched his knee.  
“Boyo, I know where your ADA is at. Meet me outside the precinct in twenty.” the call ended.  
“Declan?!” Carisi shouted. The bit of light that the darkness of his dwindling hope was almost able to crush shined like a beacon.  
“But he's...” he thought out loud as he wiped off his face and bolted back upstairs. He went to Benson's office and walked in. She sat at her desk, her usually kind expression no where to be found. She took in a sharp breath as her body projected anger.  
“Close the door.” she sternly said.  
Carisi closed the door and looked back at her.  
“Carisi, why in the hell did you just assault an officer?” Benson demanded.  
“She knows where Quin and Barba are-she told me, she-” he pleaded as Benson's face clearly indicated she wasn't buying it.  
“I have her in the interrogation room and if her credentials pass in our database, you're on unpaid leave--.”  
“--she's not a real cop, I went to check in on Barba and Carmen said he missed court, that doesn't sound like the Barba you and I know, does it? And I saw her in the precinct and she just bolted, like a deer.”  
“Because someone was chasing her... Carisi I need more than your hunch to hold someone, I--”  
“Declan called me. Just now from an unknown caller,” the light reemerged in his eyes, “wants me to meet him outside in twenty, says he knows where Barba is at and where the others are too. I'm going!” He turned around and was about to leave when Benson called out, “Stop!”  
She stood up and walked over to him.  
“She was looking at stuff on Dodds desk, she's not a cop...I know it!”  
“We'll keep her, get a wire and wear it and Carisi?”  
“Yeah, lieutenant?”  
“Keep on your toes, I'd have Fin go with you, but that would alert the chief and that's the last thing we need right now. Declan is still deep undercover, hold yourself together. Remember the last time you two were alone in a room?”  
Carisi's nose felt the pain of being smacked with a pistol, “I will be careful, and I'll get back quietly,” he raised his right hand, “scouts honor.”  
Benson's face allowed a gentle expression to appear, “If possible, get Barba.”  
“I will.” Carisi left her office and headed out to meet Declan.   
His shoes hit the pavement hard, pacing, waiting for Declan to appear. He never did, but a lovely looking redhead, out of the country, needed him to help her with a quick tire change.  
“Sure, real quick” he replied, flashing the woman his trademark Carisi smile. She had walked him half a block, pointed at the deflated tire and Carisi's charismatic charm took over. Soon the tire was replaced and the redhead was appreciative.  
So appreciative she hugged him. Tightly. So tightly that he barely felt the needle go into his back. She flashed her green eyes at him.  
“Thank you.” she said in broken sounding English.  
“No...no...” his vision went blurry, his body slumped against the car. He felt her effortlessly put him in the backseat, cover him with a blanket, and then get into the car. The ignition started and she drove off with the paralyzed detective in her back seat.


	13. Trials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunting grounds are active as the four gauntlet runners are faced with the next series of horrors to await them.

Cassidy glanced at Munch, who couldn't take his eyes away from the feed.  
“How are you even watching this? It's sick, that they'd give us a feed to watch her and him.” Cassidy drew his coat around his body.  
Munch continued to watch as the other two were in a glass room with a water tight sealed door, surrounded by dozens of cameras. Quin looked worse for wear, he knew that Brian would nearly kill to keep him safe, but the downside of that was that Quin was worse off.  
I could have taken it he thought as the tall man's voice blasted through the speakers in their room.  
“well, well, well, looks like the lovers lost- now how about you two take a few requests, hmmm? I hope you aren't angry at each other, some of these get pretty erotic for the lack of another word. Okay, from user boobabyboo, he'd like to see a little kiss, nothing too in depth, save that for the later requests.”  
Quin looked at Mike, neither one of them wanting to move, frozen from the terror of their intimacy being live streamed worldwide.  
“Oh, now I thought we made it clear, well, you notice those small openings on the bottom of your tank? I'm just gonna open those-” the sound of a switch clicking echoed in his feed as Quin and Mike both felt cold water rushing in through the openings.  
“You've got to be kidding me!” Mike cursed as Quin looked up and saw the glass ceiling on their room. The only option was to do the requests or drown to death.  
“I'm sorry” Quin said as she grabbed his collar and kissed him quickly on the lips.  
Please don't let his father or Hank Abraham watch this...give me that she thought as she pulled away from the kiss.  
“There we go, one of you is in the mood, of course it would be Ariel. Heh, alright, I'll turn the water off now if you both plan on behaving.”  
“YES!” both of them shouted. The switch clicked in their feed and the water turned off.

 

“It's already at ankle level...” Cassidy said as his eyes caught the feed then Munch crossing his arms.  
“If they refuse a couple more times, it'll get torturous for them.” Munch said as he went back to watching.  
“Alright, user Mariobate wants a full on make out session. We're talking groping, grinding, all the fun stuff you two prudes never did in high school. Both of you are total closet freaks, so put on a show!” the taller man said as Mike wrapped his arms around Quin's waist and pulled her close to him. She could sense him forcing himself to be aggressive, which was the exact opposite of how they were in bed. He wasn't a dominant alpha, he was a caring partner and they shared their passion with each other equally.  
Think about just riding him, that no one is watching, you've gotta be resilient for him and for yourself she thought as a shiver went through her body as he kissed her. Her boots were waterlogged and her feet frozen, yet with every press against her body with his, she felt herself wanting to have him, her body prepping for him to take her. It felt good to have his body against hers even if the whole world was watching. His erection was pressing against her, and she felt herself lusting with desire. She was ashamed with how wet she was.  
Maybe he isn't thinking about the whole world watching us but instead that we're home in bed, it's a Friday night and we both have the weekend off, and he just wants to get me off...and then I get him off just how he likes it.. Quin's mind raced as his thumb slipped into the elastic band of her leggings and teased her hip bone as he kissed her roughly. Any other time I'd mount you and pound you into the mattress, please know that...but...  
Her internal dialogue was shattered by the water turning on again.  
“No!” both of them broke away from their performance as the water continued to gush in. Soon it was up to Quin's shins and she looked at Mike and saw his discomfort with his own aroused state.  
“This, this is too vanilla for me!” the taller man shouted, “I don't care what he wants...I'm bored out of my mind!”

Munch's eyes rose, “Young lovers- hey wait, what the hell with the water?!”  
Cassidy looked at him, “They're going at it so why is the water running?”  
“I dunno, but this crap has been going on long enough!” Munch shouted as he looked at the monitor and focused on it. The shorter man's voice came through the speakers.  
“This isn't what he wants! Let them be!!” the shorter man shouted as they heard a struggle over the controls, the sounds of several buttons being hit at once.  
“Munch, the door!” Cassidy shouted as their door flung open, “Let's go!” he said as both men made their way to the end of the hall.

The water continued to rush it, it was past both their knees. Neither one of them could stop shivering, and Quin splashed over to one of the openings and saw it had a closing mechanism.  
“There has to be some way to trip it!” she shouted as panic set into her voice and body. She felt her body for anything to poke at it in vain. Her eyes caught the camera and she stared at it, her body shivering from the ice cold water.  
“If any of the thousands of you watching this possess any kind of conscious, please spare us!” she screamed.  
The speakers cut in.  
“No, let them live, she's mine!” the shorter man shouted as his struggle with the taller man continued.  
“Who cares what that asshole wants, you don't wanna watch them swim?” the taller man taunted. Another switch was activated and the rate of the water's flow increased, “I'm tired of this, its tedious and a bore, I saw we drown them, and then let him see their corpses...he'll pay us either way! Hey, what the--?”   
A shot rang out. A lever was activated and the water stopped flowing. Another lever, the water began to drain out of the glass room.  
Quin fell to her knees and began to rock back and fourth as Mike held her.  
“Someone has a conscious, it's draining, we're gonna be okay...” he gently told her as she began to breathe in short breaths. The water was gone and the water tight door opened. Both of them made their way to the door and ran out of their glass prison.  
“No, oh shit they're escaping!” the taller man shouted. Mike and Quin exited the room and ran down the hallway. The speakers crackled with the sounds of blows landing as the men were overpowered by Cassidy and Munch.  
“Mike? Quin?!” Cassidy shouted into the speakers, “If you can hear me, thumbs up the nearest camera!”  
Quin held up her thumb, “we can Cassidy, we can!” she shouted. Her earlier fatigue was fading and the hope of escape was fueling her exhausted body.  
“Ok, I'm gonna unlock that—ugh!” shots rang out over the speakers again as the shorter man laughed hysterically.  
“Screw you!” Munch shouted as he called out, the sounds of their struggle continuing.  
“We've gotta keep moving, c'mon.” Mike said as he grabbed Quin's hand and they made their way to the end of the corridor. He pulled on the door and it wouldn't open.  
“NO!” he shouted as the taller man's voice broke through. Quin and Mike heard him beat Munch and the shorter man mercilessly, both men overpowered by him. A familiar click echoed through the speakers.  
“Fans...just got a new plan from the boss man himself...it looks like the gauntlet is over for now, but the hunting grounds will be more extensive. I'll be prepping everything tonight...goodnight.”   
Gas began to flood the corridor Quin and Mike were in. Soon both of them were unable to fight off the effects of the gas anymore.  
“Mike...” Quin said as she fell to her hands and knees. He fell down to the ground next to her.  
“We'll survive.” he said as they both passed out on the floor.

 

Tomas examined the slender man. The way his hair was graying near his temples intrigued her- he didn't look older than herself, yet the gray near his ears told another tale, one that she wanted to hear. She tied him to the chair next to the ADA and left them alone in the room. Both men were passed out, it was nightfall.

 

Benson glanced at her watch, 9:30 pm. She looked at the woman, who actually wasn't a cop and cuffed her to the desk in her interrogation room. Carisi's hunch was right, and she knew once he was back in her office, she'd have to apologize to him, but her focus needed to be on this woman. Chief Dodds barged into her office, he looked sleep deprived, ever since Mike had been taken he had been at SVU only able to watch the feed and see the sick games his son was forced to play. He looked removed of any words to say about the most recent feed they had watched, he saw his son and ADA Montgomery almost drowned to death for not performing near pornographic requests. But Munch and Cassidy had gotten them out of their x-rated cell and they were safe, for now.  
The chief ran a hand through his hair, “What does she know?” his eyes were bloodshot.  
Benson sighed, “she's not saying anything, but she hasn't invoked a lawyer yet-”  
“-so why are you standing here doing nothing?” the chief glared at her.  
“Because I don't have anything to go off of- I want to see what-”  
Finn walked in, looked at Benson, the chief, and then handed Benson a file. Liv quickly skimmed it over and then without another word went into the interrogation room. Chief Dodds and Finn watched her through the double view glass.  
“How long are you gonna hold me?!” the woman demanded as her tone moderately even throughout her question. Her hazel eyes locked with Benson's for a second and then looked away in annoyance.  
“Patrice Ortiz, I'm lieutenant Olivia Benson. Why are you here?” she asked the now visibly confused woman.  
“Because some gringo cop slammed my knee on a staircase-I'm-”  
“-why were you impersonating a cop?”   
Patrice looked away, “Why do you care? I've been doing it for months...you only caught on because of the gauntlet.” she calmly shot back.  
Benson tilted her head to the side a bit, “True, and that's on me, but for someone whose going to be locked away for a very long time, you seem pretty calm.”  
Patrice stared her down, “I have nothing to fear...not with what I've dealt with...”  
“-how long were you prostituting, before the wights found you? We have a file for you, back in 2005, you were caught out in Brooklyn.” Benson replied in an equally calm tone as she sat down across from her and folded her hands neatly in front of herself. Patrice looked at her hands and a certain envy swam in her eyes.  
“I was never a whore...” the shame glimmered in her eyes.  
Benson's eyes showed her empathizing with her, “I'm not here to judge, only to get you help-”  
“-I'd hardly help you, the lot of you have been nothing short of cruel to her!” the emotional turbulence splashing out of her mouth, dripping on her words.  
“Who is 'her'? And why do you think we've been cruel?”  
Patrice chuckled, “if you really can't figure out who I'm talking about, then it only shows how little attention you give to her. You all treat her like dirt, she comes back to help you and you all ignore her...except for the one man who doesn't but then steals her away from...you wouldn't care anyways, heh, look at how you treat your own...”  
“Does your boss love Quin, does he--”  
Patrice struggled against her restraints, “She! Tomas is she!”  
Benson raised her brows, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to misgender your boss Patrice. I didn't know Tomas is trans.” she looked at the glass.  
Finn turned and looked at chief Dodds, “I'm on it.” he said as he left the room to search international records for British transwomen. Chief Dodds rubbed his temples and continued to listen.  
“Tomas loves me, she always has,but I don't get why she's chasing after Quin, it makes no sense, I'm always there for her, always!” Patrice's response was clothed in hurt.  
“That has to be hard, watching your boss, your love, pine over someone else, someone who you can't be like...” Benson left the bait on the table, hoping Patrice would take it.  
“I've loved her since she saved me, since Bishop got me out of hell...”  
Benson gently nodded her head in agreement as Patrice continued, “...and when we took Quin and her male lover to them...she was crying, like she was handing over her own wife...” a thin trail of tears fell from each of her hazel eyes, “Tomas would never cry like that if it was me instead of Quin, all we got was money...I'd settle being Tomas's number two if it meant that her and Quin were happy. I lover her that much.” the tears fiercely flowed, and Benson grabbed a tissue out of her pocket and handed it to Patrice.  
She swallowed a lump in her own throat and looked at Patrice, “That's profoundly sad, to watch someone you love agonize over such a choice...where did you meet these men, to hand over Quin and sergeant Dodds?”  
Patrice closed her eyes and shook her head 'no', “I'd never get to be with her, if I gave that away...it would mean the end of my time as a wight...I...I can't!-” she sobbed.  
“Patrice, you impersonated a cop, we have proof of it, you won't be leaving here, you've broken the law.” Benson leaned closer to her, “-but as a mother who loves a child with all her heart, it would save Quin's life if we knew where she had been sold to those men. You yourself know what it must feel like to be treated like property...they don't care what happens to Quin or sergeant Dodds, have you or her been watching the feed at all?!”  
Patrice opened her eyes as Benson continued, “...four colleagues that I respect are being tortured and you have the chance to be a hero, to save them all from what they are going through. The secrets in your mind, what you know, that's the key to freeing them, and to free you.”  
Patrice shook her head in shame, “Even if I did give you that information, we needed the money they paid us, coming over here was hard for Tomas to do with the wights and she couldn't loose that now...”  
Benson looked at the glass.  
Chief Dodds could barely hold himself together. The woman Benson was interviewing knew where those men had been within the last couple of days and she wouldn't say where his son and ADA Montgomery had been sold. Sold, like merchandise, his son meant so much more to him that his vocabulary would lend him and it ate away at him. The last several months saw a breakdown in their relationship that had never occurred before; the way his son looked at him, it was more often with annoyed eyes than with ones that respected him. Deep within himself he knew that Mike wanted to stay in anti-crime a bit longer, but the chance to work with Benson and diversify his career would take him to the next level, and he didn't want Mike to miss out. The final nail in the coffin was his moronic insults to ADA Montgomery the other day. He wanted to travel back in time and punch his past self out. The chief didn't really even know why he had spouted off such cruel things to her, but even after his verbal abuse, she was in a living nightmare with his son consoling him, comforting him, not because he was successful or would be able to provide for her, but because she loved him.  
He loved his son too.  
He saw Benson try to get more intel out of Patrice, who refused, causing Benson to get up and walk back into her office.  
“I can't get it out of her...wait!-” Benson called out at he went in there. Benson flipped on the intercom and listened,  
Patrice looked at him and then turned her head in defiance.  
He took in a deep breath and sat down across from her, arms folded over his chest.  
“My son's in there...” he managed to get out before stifling his emotions, a sea swimming in his eyes as he forced himself to press on, “and the love of his life is in there and I will personally pardon you of all crimes you've ever committed if you say where you dropped them off. Please.”  
Patrice looked at him, “I...I can't-”  
“I'll pardon Tomas too, I actually have the authority to do that. I'm begging you, please...he's my son, the good one, and I love him immensely, where did you meet them?”  
He knew he was groveling to a low life witch that had no reason to believe him, but it was the last straw and he didn't care if he career went down in flames to get Mike back.  
“We met them in an abandoned warehouse near the Hudson. They took your son and Quin and headed east. That's all I know.” Patrice looked at the glass.  
“Thank you...” the chief got up and began to leave.  
“You're welcome, now, let me go...” she smiled as she held up her cuffed wrists.  
The chief opened the door and looked at Benson, then nodded, and left her office.

Carisi woke up with a giant headache with his hands tied behind his back on to the chair he was sitting on. His head was groggy and fuzzy it was hard for his eyes to make out shapes for a few moments, which allowed him to recollect what happened to him. He recalled the red headed woman asking for help with her tire, an embrace and then passing out in her backseat.  
“Declan...he set me up...” Carisi seethed with anger as he fought against his restraints. The door creaked open and Declan walked in, rushed over to him and then punched him in the jaw.  
“How dare you hurt her you Staten island punk!” Declan shouted through his brogue. He was clad in jeans, a flannel shirt, black pea coat along with a newsboy hat that did nothing to hide the large amount of gray hair he had.  
“Agh!” Carisi cried out in pain as Barba woke up in the chair next to him.  
“Sonny?!” Barba's worn out voice mustered to say as the ADA locked eyes with Bishop, “I see I'm still here, with you.” he spat out.  
“You know, I'll punch you again, and then your boyfriend as well, boyo...” Bishop threatened as Carisi spat out a mouthful of blood.  
“He's hardly my type, I mean, c'mon, comparatively-”  
“Oi, save it, I don't care if you two are doing each other, I do care about taking care of business.”  
“Like how you pistol whipped me the last time?!” Carisi sassed back as Bishop looked at him.  
“You have been undercover before, you understand how that actually works...right?” Bishop snarked to Carisi, who was still bleeding from the lip.  
“Yeah, I have. But what is this business you've gotta get done, huh?” Carisi glared at him.  
“Getting ADA Montgomery out of that hellhole...it's the least I can do...” Bishop replied as Carisi's face contorted into a pile of rage seeking an outlet.  
“You know where Quin is?! Why in the hell aren't you calling SVU with it, 'cause we can't do anything with it here!” Carisi screamed as Barba looked at him.  
“They're in a building across the way, Tomas and Patrice don't know that she's that close...we're the closest people to them, I figured it out from the gauntlet footage, the wall of the rooms they've been held in are the same as ours.” He pointed to the wall behind them.  
“You can't actually believe him?!” Barba's tone unable to hold back his disbelief that Carisi would take Declan's word for it as the detective stare as the walls, “this is the guy who shot your friend...and her cat!”  
“Rafi...he ain't lyin' I can tell.” Carisi softly replied as he looked into Bishop's eyes. When they crinkled a bit around the edges, he was telling the truth. It was his tell and Carisi picked up on it when they were in the same holding cell during a prostitution sting almost a year ago.  
Barba rolled his eyes, “Ok, so why keep us tied up? Why not just break us out and have us go over there and save them, huh?”  
Bishop glared at Carisi again, who then explained for him, “Because he needs her intel and she's locked in an interrogation room.”  
“What?”  
Bishop scowled, “No thanks to this punk, Patrice was going to see if NYPD had any information we could use to get inside, so I had to take you out of there to cover the tracks.”  
Barba scoffed, “You aren't even worried that she's in custody? Lt. Benson will get information out of her, one way or another.”  
“Yeah,” Carisi jumped in, “it would have helped if she hadn't been sneaking around the sergeant's desk, in broad daylight.”  
Bishop growled, “Normally, she'd be in there during the evening, not that it matters, but time is of the essence. You don't wanna know what they are making Montgomery and that pretty sergeant boy do together...”  
He trailed off lost in the thought of seeing what Quin had recently been put through as a large red-headed woman walked into the room. Carisi's eyes grew as he recognized her.  
“Regular old sausage fest in here...where's Patrice?” the woman questioned Bishop as she skimmed over Carisi's features some more as Barba frowned at her.  
“Haven't heard from her.” Bishop stated.  
The woman rolled her eyes, “Always like her, vanishing the moment I need her...tell her to see me when she comes back...”  
Carisi struggled against his restraints, they were loose enough for him to get out of them but he needed to wait for the right moment, “She won't be...”  
The woman turned and looked at him, “what do you mean she won't be?”  
“She's in holding-” he held his arms still as if they were still tied up, “-NYPD has her all thanks to this guy-” he tilted his head over to Bishop.  
“What is he talking about?!” she demanded.  
“Tomas, it's nothing, one call and I can get her--” Tomas punched Bishop just as Carisi sprang up and took his other gun and pointed it at Tomas.  
“Stand down, NYPD!!” Carisi shouted in his most authoritative tone. It sent a sensual shiver down Barba's backside.  
Tomas held her hands up as Carisi quickly untied Barba with one hand, who then stood up and stretched as Carisi kept his gun pointed at Tomas as he took Bishop's gun and handed it to Barba, who was unable to speak as he held the gun in his hands. She let out a laugh and drew the gun she had taken from Patrice and pointed it at Carisi.   
Barba snapped into action as Tomas was about to shoot Carisi, but he was quicker on the draw and fired a single shot into Tomas's left shoulder.  
“Aaagghh!” Tomas bellowed as Barba sat the gun down on the ground and moved behind Carisi, shaking as Carisi gave him an approving glance.  
“She was gonna kill you, it was defense!!” Barba exasperated as he moved closer to Carisi.  
Tomas was about to pick up the gun with her left hand and shoot when Carisi kicked it way from her. “Call 911, then SVU, and everyone!” Carisi barked as he took a hidden set of handcuffs and cuffed Tomas so she couldn't escape.  
Barba rapidly called SVU, 911. it was over, he was free and Sonny was safe.

 

His neck ached as he cricked it to the side. Rope firmly locked his wrists together behind his back and he realized he was tied to another person. The other set of wrists and fingers, from what he could feel, were slender and cold as he tried to move. Frigid wind whipped around them as a feminine sounding groan came from behind him. Cassidy was bound to her, ADA Montgomery.  
Her arms and shoulders have to be killing her he thought as he swallowed a bit of saliva to coat his dry mouth and throat. He was unable to recall the last time he had any water to drink.  
She let out a gasp as his fingers touched hers again.  
“It's Cassidy, I'm not gonna hurt you...” he began as she shifted her weight and spoke.  
“...Thanks for getting Mike and I out of there.” she softly replied as she uncrossed her long legs and stretched them. Out of the corner of his eye while turning his head towards her, he saw how cut up her paints were. She had fought every step of the way. He didn't know her that well, but her resoluteness allowed him to count on her.  
I wonder if Liv was as determined as she is when everything went down with Lewis? Cassidy mulled over until her groan broke through.  
“you okay?” he inquired as he tried to console her by touching her icy cold hands.  
“Um...yeah, can you try to stand up? We'll have to do it simultaneously since we're tied so tightly together.” she shuddered as they counted to three and stood up. Her legs felt gelatinous but she pushed through it.  
“Okay, so now to get our hands untied.” she concentrated as she skimmed their surroundings. They were inside a small room with a wall missing, a courtyard exposed to the harsh winter weather showed large mounds of snow untouched by people or animals. A window was across the room from them with jagged pieces of glass clinging to it. It sat at shoulder level to them.  
Wind blew on them as Quin shivered against him.  
“He couldn't have given you a shirt...” Cassidy commented as his eyes caught the jagged bits of glass.  
“He has no undershirt on, he would if he could, I promise you that...” her voice shaky from her chattering teeth.  
“Right, sorry, so follow my lead?” he asked.  
“Yeah, I don't have another option really...” she sighed, “...sorry, I know I shouldn't be rude, I'm just-”  
“-exhausted? Welcome to the club, just sayin'” Cassidy chuckled as he saw her smile in reply. They made their way over to the window frame and she turned her head and saw the glass. She knew where this was going to go.  
“Can you lift your arms a bit?” Cassidy asked.  
“Yeah, I can get up to chest level, its gonna hurt so please make it quick so I can be useful while we continue out this nightmare.” she sighed.  
“Useful?” Cassidy questioned, “We'd all still be in a cage if you hadn't dislocated both shoulders.” he praised her as he lifted both their arms and began to use the sharp edge of the glass to cut through the rope. Quin gritted through the pain; shouting would only distract him. She shook her head.  
“I guess that was pretty useful, but since then I feel like-ugh- sorry, I'm just a damsel in distress-!” the rope broke and Cassidy rejoiced. He rubbed his hands over his sore wrists and looked at her.  
“Funny, your name isn't John Munch...look these guys wanna make you feel weak, but you're the strongest one of us, you endured that tall bastard all up in your-” he caught himself and turned around to face her. He took in her condition. She was the worst off out of all of them, her ankle was turned in a bit, her shirt missing half a sleeve and her eyes completely bloodshot from sleep deprivation.  
“I know...I just, if...” her voice became waterlogged, she reminded him of Liv after her first night free from Lewis. She wanted to put up a good front for them, that she was resilient and strong, but deep down inside she was in hell and the man who could comfort her was no where to be found. He regretted not picking up on it with Liv, and felt compelled to make up for his previous mistake.  
“Hey, look, I'm not sergeant Dodds, but you're a fighter. I just get that vibe from you, here” he took off his jacket, “take this.” he put it over her shoulders.  
“T-T-thank you.” she meekly said as her arms slowly worked their way into the jacket's sleeves.  
Cassidy put his arms around his torso; thankfully the Peppido sniper squad uniform was a bit better suited for the winter weather. He was still wearing a henley shirt and muscle tank underneath it. He zipped up the coat for her and smiled, “Better?”  
“Immensely, so we've got to be in the courtyard of where ever we are. Did you and Munch see any kind of visual cues to where we are?” Her focus returned and Cassidy was grateful for it.   
“No, not really, but I just get the feeling that we're in a hospital or something.”  
“Hospital?” her brows lifted, “Now that you mention that, the walls, the tiles on them they had a sanitation look to them.” her blue eyes lit up in hope, “we're in an abandoned hospital, look that way, we're near the Hudson, right?” she pointed through the snow towards the large river near them.  
“Yeah, at least we have some bearing now...” Cassidy said, his face also expressing a new found hope.  
“Okay, but we're exposed to the elements...even with your generous jacket, we can't last out here long...”  
The speaker clicked through the howling wind. “ Hello, and welcome to the hunting ground,” the taller man's voice rang out. Cassidy felt his hands become fists as he shouted back, “What do you want?!”  
“Oh Private Davis,you didn't read the book, did you? You don't recall the scene where you and Ariel have your fun, hmmm? Due to a large donation from a creative head, I've decided to entertain this charade a bit longer...about ten meters east of you two is a shack, take Ariel there and have some fun. We'll be watching...” the taller man's sing song voice and subsequent laughter danced around them as Quin and Cassidy locked eyes with one another.

 

Sirens and lights outside their vicinity filled both Barba and Carisi with hope. Barba peeked outside the window and saw Liv along with Chief Dodds rushing out of one of the several police cars.  
“Lieutenant, up here!” Carisi shouted as he continued to apply pressure to Tomas's bullet wound. Barba looked away as Declan got up and reached for the gun Carisi had given him earlier.  
Explaining this to IAB and the DA is going to be fun...Barba thought as Declan's eyes caught his. The taller man slowly got up, feeling his bruised eye as he gathered himself.  
“Oi...what the hell boys?!” Declan cursed as he saw Barba holding his gun, pointed right at him, “Okay, you need to calm down...why are the cops here?!”  
“Because I got backup and you've got a one way ticket to prison...you piece of crap.” Carisi's fury boiled in his voice and shined through his blue eyes.  
“I can't get caught,” Declan shouted, “I have more work to do, besides, even if you do take me in, vice will just let me out again...no one else can take my spot, I'm that far in, clear?!” He reached out and snatched his gun from Barba and fled the room.  
“Son of a bitch! Wait!” Carisi shouted as Barba continued to stand still from the shock of Declan taking his gun out of his hands. After a few moments, he gathered his thoughts.  
“Carisi, we have Tomas, that's more important right now...” he somberly replied as Tomas began to regain conscious.  
“Oh, you two pricks...” she moaned in pain. Carisi put more pressure on her wound which caused her to cry out in pain.  
“Carisi?! Barba?!” Benson's voice echoed through the hallway.  
“We're in here Liv!” Barba shouted back as he looked at the door and saw his friend there, her warm smile and relieved tears shot though him.   
It's over Barba thought as he permitted himself to smile back at her, hoping he wasn't crying. The relief was short lived as chief Dodds walked in and saw them.  
“Someone cuff her and I'll set up a swat team around these buildings, they have to be in one of them...”  
Carisi and the chief locked eyes, no words needed, their respective set of sky colored eyes speaking all their words instantaneously.  
“I'll go with Tomas to the hospital- the intel Finn got will help me. Carisi, you and Barba can help hold down the fort at the precinct and...” Benson looked at the chief, “we'll leave you to it.”  
The chief nodded and then radioed for backup and swat to surround a five mile radius of their location.  
Benson let the paramedics get Tomas on the stretcher and Carisi was finally able to let go. Barba snuck in a quick side hug and head rest before the chief turned around.  
“I'll met you guys back at your precinct-”  
“-lieutenant?” Carisi asked  
“Yes?”  
Carisi looked around, the chief didn't know what had happened to Quin and any allowance to him learning about it would only ignite more hatred of her with him. Play it cool  
“Ask Tomas about Arthur Cutlass.” he sternly said to her.  
Declan Murphy escaped us, please find that son of a bitch and get him...  
“I will, thanks Carisi.” Benson let her eyes confirm her understanding and left the room with the paramedic and Tomas.  
The chief looked at the two remaining men, “Both of you two need to get to safety, I've got this.”  
Barba nodded and both men left the chief alone. They made their way out of the building but as they left they glanced into a room and saw a laptop sitting on a desk.  
Barba looked at Sonny, who was struck still by the device, “Sonny, we should leav--”  
Determination played out on his face as Sonny walked over and picked up the laptop with gloved hands. “I'm taking this Rafi, this could be the answer we need, I'll have TARU look it over.”  
“Okay...let's get going.” Barba replied as they both made their way out of the building and were driven to the precinct by a uni.  
A harsh winter breeze smacked him across the face as his eyes fluttered open. The gash from Cassidy's baton was no longer bleeding, which Dodds was grateful for, but he was lying in the middle of an abandoned courtyard, which looked like it belonged in a b-grade horror movie. He slowly got up and remembered Quin and him nearly escaping, his promise to her that they'd survive and quickly found motivation to investigate his surroundings.  
His feet were heavy; merely fleshy cinder blocks attached to his ankles. Dodds felt his body shiver under the jumpsuit he had been in and thought of Quin freezing to death.  
“I've gotta keep going...” he spoke to himself, his voice sounding like a stranger moving him along as the snow crunched under his shoes. He made it to a wall that was the exterior of the building they had been in and his eyes caught sight of two things- the electrified fence around the perimeter of the courtyard and John Munch hanging on a makeshift cross ten meters from him.  
“Munch?!” he shouted as he ran over to the older man, “Can you hear me?!”  
Munch was still in his costume but he had no jacket on and was tied to the cross in several spots with a thick nylon rope. He wasn't responding to Dodd's voice.  
“What did you do to him?!” Dodds shouted into the wind.  
“He's been injected with a slow acting poison. In about an hour he'll be dead, but on that wall over there is a high powered automatic gun. You can fulfill your duty and kill the man who turned the love of your life against you or you can watch him die a slow and agonizing death, heh,” the taller man's voice replied through the whipping wind.  
Dodds looked at Munch; he had been kind of Quin and she did respect him. Even his old man had mentioned in passing that while odd as hell, John Munch did get the job done, and done well.  
“Mike-” Munch groaned, his face expressing the pain he was in.  
“John, I'm gonna get you down from there!” Dodds replied, his hand reaching for the first set of ropes that tied Munch to the cross. Gunshot rang out and Dodds was barely missed by the bullet aimed at his hand.  
“There are guns trained on me...back away!” Munch shouted at him.  
“But you're dead in an hour if I don't do anything!”  
Munch's eyes filled with a peaceful expression, “Mike, take the gun and shoot me, then go save Quin-she's gotta be with Cassidy! GO!” his voice while full with emotion never wavered from it.  
“I can't. I won't...” Dodds attempted to protest as he sensed the reality of the situation before them.  
“Shut it and shoot me!” Munch stated as he looked at Dodds, struggling against the rope and let him see a tiny wink with his left eye.  
Dodds saw the wink, and knew that Munch had something up his sleeve. He sprinted to the wall and grabbed the gun and then turned around, pointing it at Munch.  
“Sergeant, you know what to do...” Munch's steady reply chilled Dodds to the bone.  
Dodds pointed the gun at Munch and fired. The echo of a single shot hid the outburst of agony from the older man. Shaking from the horror of shooting another officer, Dodds took the gun and headed towards the sound of her screaming.  
QUIN!

Quin saw the look in Cassidy's eyes and took in the way they flexed as he moved closer towards her.  
“That's it private Davis, you'll just have to grab her and take her to the shack along the edge of the hunting grounds...” the taller man's voice clicked in as Cassidy continued to move closer and closer to her.  
She tried to read him- his looks, his body language, but all stimuli pointed to him suddenly changing his tune and following their orders.  
The sudden change, that's gotta be his tell. There would be no other logical reason for him to follow along. He's trying to sell it to them...I should too then. She told herself as she began to run away from Cassidy while screaming.  
“Stop, please...just stop!” she wailed as the running killed her ankle, but she kept in character and tried to get away from him. She tripped over a hidden rock in the ground which was concealed from the snow and hit the ground hard. Quin looked up and saw Cassidy smile as he picked her up by her shirt collar and pulled her off the ground. He may have only been a few inches taller than her but his strength was too much for her in her weakened state.  
“Excellent, you caught her, now onward to that little love shack...” the taller man teased over the speakers, the wind hiding his cackling from them.   
Cassidy smiled at her, but then whispered, “Good eye and play along, I won't hurt you.”  
Quin struggled against him as her response to him and he chucked her over his shoulder and continued walking. She felt her face flush from being in such a vulnerable position- her bottom on display for the cameras- but part of her felt relieved since it was a moment to rest her ankle and legs. She kicked and shouted, continuing to put up the show as Cassidy patted her bottom.  
“That's NOT part of the deal!” she hissed as she punched his lower back  
“Agh!” Cassidy whimpered, “I'm sorry, it's the show they want!” he apologized as he sat her down outside of the shack.  
A gun cocked in the air around them as they both stopped arguing. They saw the outline of a figure, but it was hard to make out who it was with the now active snowstorm around them.  
“Drop her!” Dodds commanded. Cassidy put Quin down and they held their hands up as the speakers cut in.  
“Mike, it's Brian and I, please put the gun down...please...” Quin pleaded as he remained perfectly still.  
He thinks Cassidy is a threat  
“Mike, Brian's not going to hurt me-”  
The taller man's voice erupted over hers, “-oh but her will. Private Davis was going to take Ariel to the love shack. My patron thinks that both of you should go in there instead...”  
Quin moved herself in front of the gun and Cassidy, “Dear...please, put the gun down.” she gently implored as she continued to hold up her arms.  
He took a deep breath and moved the gun down as she went to his side and took the gun out of his hands, tossing it away from him. Her embrace was welcomed and she kissed the side of his head, her fingers wrapped around him, her body shivering against his.  
“I wouldn't celebrate too much Ariel, for you see, Wilson shot the good inspector dead!” the shorter man's voice called out through the speakers.  
“What?!” Cassidy shouted as he picked up the gun and pointed it at Quin and Dodds.  
“That's right Private Davis, your beloved inspector is slowly dying on a cross and the bastard before you shot him in cold blood.” the taller man added.  
Quin looked Dodds in the eyes, “Mike- did you?” her eyes searched his face in a desperate look for a 'no' but only saw the remorse of a 'yes'. “Why?” her voice broke, she wanted nothing more than all four of them to escape safe and sound, but that wasn't a possibility now.  
“It doesn't matter why, he's old, why would you ever think that's okay?!” Cassidy screamed. He aimed the gun at them and Quin stood in front of Dodds.  
“Mike has to have a reason, Brian look around us, we've been in this hell for so long...they had to do something horrific to him...we can get him and help him...”  
“You can't...” Dodds interjected. She turned and looked at him.  
“What do you mean...”  
“There are guns pointed at him, he's tied to a cross like they said. They injected him with some slow acting poison, I...I...” he started to take shallow breaths as panic set in.  
“Does he know what kind and when?” Quin begged him as Cassidy lowered the gun for a moment.  
Dodds shook his head 'no', “He doesn't but he begged me to shoot him, it's the only reason why I-”  
Cassidy held up the gun as Quin saw his affect change. The kindness in his eyes had fled and was replaced with the rage of knowing his friend and partner was dying.  
“C'mon Davis...just end him, then treat yourself to a job well done in that cozy little shack with Ariel...” the taller man tempted him over the speakers.  
Cassidy's expression spoke to him mulling it over as the gun rose again, pointing at her chest. His hands shook as she took in a deep breath and the gun fired. She felt the bullet tear through her shoulder, the destruction of muscle and bone excruciating as she fell back and felt Dodds hold her.  
“NO!” Dodds shouted as Cassidy dropped the gun, hands shaking with shame and disbelief of what he had just done.  
“WHY?!” Dodds wailed as he tried to stop the blood flow, her blood spilling on to the snow.   
Cassidy turned around and sprinted away, but a few moments later, Dodds heard him cry out.  
“How dare you hurt her!” the shorter man screamed as he rushed into the courtyard with a brandished baseball bat and pounded it into Cassidy's body. Dodds froze as he watched the man who violated Quin earlier beat Cassidy into the ground along with help from the taller man. He couldn't make himself move, it was impossible to save Quin and help Cassidy. He picked up Quin by her waist and then tried to get her to a safe location. He saw the taller man, standing near the exit and pointing a gun at him.  
“I really wanted more fun, but if we can't give the patron what he's asking for, screw it, I'll have it my way.” the gun cocked and Dodds braced himself to be shot, his life flashing before his eyes. Three shots rang out around him; the shorter man cried like a baby and fell to the ground, shot in the gut. The taller man fell to the ground before him, shot through the head and finally, Cassidy had been shot in the chest.  
A tall, heavier set man, clad in a bright red parka with a fur trimmed hood, snow paints and boots came into Dodd's view. Quin weakly lifted her head with her last bit of strength.  
“No! NO!” she sobbed as the man pulled down his hood and revealed himself.  
“Oh yes, yes, Quinie, daddy's back.” he grinned as he shot Dodds in the arm and Dodds dropped Quin, then fired again into Dodds's thigh. She tried to get up and flee, but the man kicked her in the gut and stepped on to Dodd's thigh, stomping the bullet deeper into him for his own sick pleasure.  
“Nice work sergeant, you keep her safe up to the end for me.” he praised Dodds, who was reeling in pain as he grabbed Quin by her arm and dragged her into the shack.


	14. Hunting grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a dark feed and four friends in peril, the hunting grounds bring back a man Quin would rather die than see again. Who will be hunted and who will hunt?
> 
> **Warning: Sexually explicit scenes***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! Thanks again for reading and please feel free to leave comments and kudos! I do appreciate the feedback and learn from it.
> 
> Thank you,  
> ALiteraryLady

Benson stood next to the bed of the red headed woman that Carisi had apprehended. Once more handcuffs were being used to restrain someone Benson would be interrogating and she still felt uncomfortable with it. She looked at the woman,  
Even with what you’ve done I still find myself showing you sympathy, when I really don’t have a reason to. Benson thought to herself as she noted that at this moment chief Dodds was deep into a grid search near the spot that Patrice gave up to them. Her stomach turned at the thought that Patrice was out there, trying to find her lover and free from any legal repercussions, but if it meant that sergeant Dodds, along with Quin, Bri and Munch were okay, it was almost worth it. Almost.  
Her brown eyes skimmed over the woman as she recalled a point Quin had made during her presentation.  
At some point, someone hurt you, hurt you so badly that you had to become this…  
“If no one had hurt you, who would you be right now?” Benson spoke to herself as the woman woke up. Her vibrant emerald green eyes looked groggy as she took in a breath and let out a gasp.  
“What the bloodly hell?! OH!” her eyes turned to Benson who was steeling herself before her.  
“Tomas Ives, you’re awake, good, now I can interrogate you.” Benson replied in suit as Tomas struggled against her restraints.  
“What the hell—like I’d ever talk to you!” the ginger woman spat out. The fire in her eyes sparked as she glared at Benson. Hyper-vigilance splashed across her face as she took in several deep breaths, trying in vain to fight Benson through her limitations.  
Benson leaned closer to her, “We know who you are Tomas, Patrice told us what we needed to know to put you away here for a very long time. My chief is doing a grid search as we speak and we’re gonna find them…all of them…” the door swung open and a visibly exhausted Carisi walked in.  
“Carisi, not now…”  
“—you need to see this, I had TARU go over it with a fine toothed comb, she knew the men before handing them over and she knows far more than she’s letting on…son of a--.” Carisi scowled at Tomas as Benson turned on the laptop as Tomas continued to struggle to get free.  
“I have rights you know, the Geneva convention!” Tomas shouted.  
Benson was able to pull up the history of the browsers and unlock a previously encrypted section of the laptop’s hard drive, all thanks to TARU’s resident hacker leaving the pathways open.  
Benson let out a laugh, “I should have known the way Patrice spoke of you, you know exactly what happened to Quin, because it happened to you too, You’ve kept in contact with the man who I’m assuming hurt Quin when she was younger.”  
Tomas sat up in her bed, “The hell I have, that man can go to hell!”  
Carisi spun around and growled, “Why?!” his body trembled with rage, “why in God’s name would you let the man who hurt her know anything about her?!”  
Tomas turned away from him, “It’s on me, okay?! Lookit, on the laptop, I bookmarked it!” she pointed at her laptop with her cuffed hand.  
Benson’s eyes grew large.  
“Lieutenant, what is it?” Carisi questioned as he looked over her shoulder.  
“Carisi, he’s escaped--” Benson clicked on the link that Tomas has book marked.  
“What?!” panic set into his voice as he skimmed over the article.  
“It’s why I’ve been trying to figure out where she is, he’s on his way here!” Tomas growled at both of them.  
“Funny, because I almost want to believe you, but from the looks of this it seems you found a way to slip him a new identity and passport…” Benson snapped back as she turned the laptop around and showed Tomas the fake passport documents.  
“T—that isn’t mine! Why in bloody hell would I freakin’ want him here?! I came to get Quinie to come back to London to be a legal representative for us, I’d never, ever help that man!!”  
“Then why is there stuff on your laptop clearly telling us the exact opposite thing, huh?” Carisi grilled her.  
“Those psychos that took that man and Quinie from me did it! They planted that on my laptop—I swear! I barely graduated the equivalent to your high school, I can kick ass but I’m not that tech savvy…I want my embassy person, now!” Tomas clammed up and looked up at the ceiling.  
Carisi glanced at Benson, who answered her ringing phone.  
“Lieutenant Benson—What?! Where are they?! I’m on my way!” she hung up and looked at Carisi, “They found Munch, Cassidy and Dodds, I’ve gotta go, stay here”  
“What about Quin?!” his light blue eyes wearing his concern.  
“The chief didn’t say but the two men who have been torturing them are both dead.”  
Carisi crossed himself as Benson left the room. He looked at Tomas.  
If you did the unthinkable and she’s dead…I will end you.  
Carisi vowed as he held back shouting at her, hurling every kind of imaginable insult at her. The security guard stationed outside of the room came in and Carisi motioned for the guard to stay in the room.  
“Stay here, even after her embassy rep shows, I’ll be back.”  
The guard nodded as Carisi left Tomas alone.  
Rafi…Quin…

 

One. Two. Three.  
Three gunshots rang out in the distance, penetrating the air around him.  
“Where in the hell is that fire coming from?!” Chief Dodds shouted as a twenty-five-person unit of SWAT and medics frantically rushed over to protect him.  
“Sir, are you hit?!” the head of the SWAT unit asked him.  
Chief Dodds turned and looked at the larger, heavier set man clad in full SWAT gear, “No Isaiah, I’m fine, but my son isn’t!” he barked at the man.  
“The shots came from the east corridor of the building sir; we’re invest…”  
“Hey! Hansen in, over, twenty-five yards in my direction, I need backup!” the woman’s voice over the radio was shaken, the sounds of gunshots peppered in the background.  
“Bravo unit, move out towards alpha unit!” Isaiah ordered as Chief Dodds began to run over to the next building. He was older than most of the other men heading in the same direction but knowing that one or more of those bullets could be lodged in his son granted him a sudden burst of speed and agility. It has been years since he had been on the street as a beat cop but he felt years younger. His mind flashed to his son as a rookie cop, then watching him move up in rank, detective, and then a few years ago, sergeant. The respective ceremonies for each advancement filled him with such pride, but the wreckage before him tore him to pieces. He stopped running and took it in; it was a blood bath. The taller man had been shot in the head, the shorter one shot twice through the chest with bits of sternum wedged into his jacket.  
“Three shots…MIKE?” the chief felt his heart leap through his chest as he caught sight of a man on a makeshift cross.   
No way…  
“John Munch?!” the chief ran over to the cross contraption and barely dodged a bullet across the cheek.  
“Shit…” he cursed as the automated gun began to follow him, but after a good minute the bullets stopped. Chief Dodds looked up from his cover and saw him standing there.  
The man, the one called private Davis was unable to speak. He’s been shot in the upper chest, in his right pectoral muscle and was using all of his energy to stand.  
“S-stand down!” the chief ordered. The man coughed and then looked at him with sad, angry eyes.  
“You’re his father, the one who…” the man fell down to the ground and collapsed. The chief shouted for a medic and soon was engulfed by several paramedics who began to tend to his wounds. The reassuring tones they used with the man brought the chief’s focus back to his own son.  
“Get this man down, he isn’t moving!” the chief ordered to the SWAT members that had followed him. Munch was quickly taken down and rushed to an ambulance.  
“H..he…help…” the voice called out weakly; shaking from the coldness and terror.  
“Mike?!” the chief shouted as he ran towards the direction of it. He passed over the harsh icy terrain and abruptly stopped upon seeing him. It was different than any other previous crime scene; his own child was in the thick of it, bleeding out on the clean, fresh white snow. He saw his son’s chest rise, but the sound of his voice didn’t reassure the chief like he wanted it too.  
“MIKE!” he ran over to his son and saw the damage done to him up close. He looked like he had been mauled by a pack of vicious animals, scrapes and bruises all over his body. The bright red blood flowed from his thigh and arm. He glanced at his son’s right hand, still bandaged, it was really him. This was actually happening before him. He had to process it.  
“Mike, stay calm, we’ve got…MEDIC!” he bellowed as a team of medics rushed over to them.   
Mike looked at him, “Red jacket…he took, he took Quin…”  
“Save your damn strength, we’ll-“   
“NO! He took Quin!” Mike pointed to a clearing behind the chief.  
“Mike, right now we have to get you to a hospital…”  
“Find. Her!” the determination in his son’s eyes seeped into him and latched on to his being.  
“We will…” the chief replied as the medics lifted his son bullet riddled body off the ground and took him to safety.   
His image of his son was unclear. A watery curtain obscured it.  
“Swim…just swim, Mike.”

 

There wasn’t a drink potent enough for him and he was slightly disappointed. Barba sat at his desk, nursing his whiskey and feeling sorry for himself and Quin when the phone rang.  
“Hel--!”   
“Rafi, thank god, they found ‘em, well, all of them except for Quin. Oh God, she’s out there, and, and…”  
“Sonny, where are you?” Barba wasn’t able to hold back the worry in his voice. Instead of an answer, Carisi hung up and a few moments later burst through his office door. He looked like a complete wreck, unable to do anything but lament the worst case scenario of his friend’s situation. Barba got up and closed the blinds of his office; taking care of Carisi trumped what others thought of him.  
He held Sonny close to him and felt his lover’s heart break. He was preparing for the worst, Quin being dead and Barba knew that recent cases were weighing hard on him- a few months ago a little girl has been taken by child abuse syndrome during a case against the DCS. His sunshine was obscured by the dark clouds of reality and humanity’s indifference to it all.  
“B-Barba… she’s dead, isn’t she?” Carisi wept into his shoulder, his slender frame crumpled by his sorrow.  
“Sonny, they’re gonna find her, she’s strong and after the feed went dark, yes, we don’t know where she exactly is, but if the intel Declan told us was right then the chief will find her. She’s-” he couldn’t finish his thought, his mind was flooded with every memory they had shared together; from the first day working with her, and her constant politeness annoying him, to when they won their first case together and she didn’t want to celebrate with everyone, but Carisi was able to get her to come out of her shell and have a decent time at the bar with them, to when she came back after her attack and self-consciously touched her left shoulder whenever he’d been too harsh with her. She had touched her shoulder way too much.  
He missed her, her missed how her and Sonny were friends and he got little glimpses of the two dearest people he worked with being friends and he flashed with a jealous pang.  
He wanted that. He wanted to be her friend, her mentor, but the manner she clammed up around him, before and after Declan made it challenging to tell if she really wanted his friendship or was just teasing him like everyone else did. Everyone else except for,  
“Rafi, I can’t take this she’s— “Carisi’s sobs drowned out his internal dialogue and brought Barba back to the moment. He grabbed Sonny’s head and looked into his eyes.  
“Sonny, she’s alive, we have no other reason to believe anything else. She wouldn’t want you to be crying over her, she’d want you out there helping them, helping everyone.”  
The realization swept over his lover’s eyes, “She trusts me, my insights, you’re right, I can’t just sit around and do nothing.” Carisi pulled Barba closer to him and both men sunk into a deep, passionate kiss.  
“Gotta go…love you.” Sonny said as he ran out of Barba’s office, leaving the ADA stunned and with the beginnings of arousal showing through his trousers. Carmen looked in and Barba covered himself with a case file.  
“Sir?” her head turned to the side.  
“Yes, Carmen?” he played off his physical situation like it was no bother to him.  
“There is an international call, London CP office I think, one Jacob Thorne on line one.”  
“Thank you Carmen, I’ll get it.” Barba replied as Carmen shut the door and he boiled to his seat, and took a moment to collect himself, and then picked up the line. “ADA Rafael Barba-“ He was barely able to get out his entire name as the man on the other end raged and fumed at him.  
“Good, so I’ll be eviscerating the correct man! Why in God’s good green earth am I watching a former colleague being openly tortured on the internet?! What’s actually wrong with you simpletons, if I could come—“  
“You wouldn’t be nearly this frustrated for starters,” Barba cut in.  
“Beg pardon?!” the man bellowed into the receiver, “I’ll have you know that as a CP, crown prosecutor, I will personally,”  
“What, sue me?” Barba snipped, “this case isn’t even in your country, this situation is…wait, you’re that Jacob Thorne?!” Barba asked as he recalled Quin talking about the last person she worked with.  
No wonder she can handle me so well, this guy is a million times worse than I am… Barba thought as Jake continued to carry on the background. Holy crap, Liv was right, she was ready when she came here…  
“Yes, I fucking am! I will find a way to end this, we clear?!”  
Sure buddy, we’re crystal clear… Barba rolled his eyes as a name popped into his head Arthur Cutlass  
“Wait, do you know someone named Arthur Cutlass?” He pressed Jake.  
The other end of the line went silent. Barba could hear the uptight British bastard sweating bullets.  
What does he even know?  
After a second or two Jake replied, “he’s recently escaped, we have no leads, nothing and we’re checking CCTV if by any chance he was able to get out of the country…it was him. It was his doing.”  
Barba would have killed to be able to teleport to this man’s office and douse him with water, but the way his voice paused and broke spoke to his own issues and he shook off the idea.  
“You didn’t know what happened to her, did you?” Barba injected his voice with a bit of kindness.  
Jake took in a breath, “It wasn’t my place to know, it was an open shut case and I wasn’t working on it…he’s there, he’s in the states…now that the feed is dark, do you know where she is?” the manner in which Jake’s voice trembled let Barba know that he did care and that he wasn’t an emotionless ass, he respected Quin.  
“If you really want to help me, send me everything you have on Cutlass, along with Louis Pettigrew and Clint Stanford.”  
Jake let out a sigh, “Yes, I’ll have my team on it. Please, just fry the bastard.” The line went dead.  
Barba hung up and glanced at his whiskey, and then polished off the entire glass in one gulp.

 

Her vision was blurry as pain coursed through her body. Her left arm was cold; her entire body was cold, and she couldn’t move. Quin’s legs were bound to the bed, her blouse opened and chest exposed as the red bra she was wearing mocked her as the reality of what was going to happen hit her.  
Arthur.  
His lifeless brown eyes looked over her as she heard the switch blade fling open. She shook as she slowly walked over to her shoulder, a crooked smile on his face.  
“Oh, how I’ve missed you,” his free hand gently moved her bra strap, she tried to move, but all that happened was her body forcing her crying out in pain. “Goodness, they really did a number on you. Tisk, tisk, Quinie. You were never a fighter...” she closed her eyes and shuddered as Arthur took a lighter and lit the blade, sterilizing it, then wiped it clean on a rag.  
“Now, besides being tied to the bed for personal reasons,” he winked, “I had to restrain you because this next bit,” his eyes looked at the blade and he grinned, “is gonna hurt like hell.”  
It felt like being shot again, the hot blade cutting through the skin, muscles and blood surrounding the bullet. He was scooping out the bullet fragments with the switch blade and the agony continued for several minutes as he whistled a tune, indifferent to her tortured screams and twisting body. Finally, after removing the last fragment he walked away and casually dropped the blade into the shack’s tiny kitchen sink and washed his hands, still whistling the tune.  
Quin looked at her wrists, still hand cuffed to the headboard and fought against them as Arthur sat next to her and calmly brushed her hair out of her face. He looked exactly the same as he did twenty years ago, when he had started his sadistic torture of her mind, body and soul.   
“Oh Quinie, I’ve really, really missed you. It’s been so lonely in prison, I was able to make a friend or two, but none of them listen like you do, you listen so very well.” He stroked her forehead as she turned her head away from him. “Oh, I see, that man with you, the one who looks like a brute—he gets your love now? I thought I taught you better taste in men.” He scolded her as he took a bottle with clear liquid out of his jacket, along with a clean handkerchief.   
“I’ll have to clean that wound, along with…” his eyes lingered on her exposed torso and neck and then moved to her lower half, “…other things. I really thought that you’d wait for me…”  
“Why would I wait for you?! I HATE YOU!” Quin shouted as his face contorted to a wounded expression and he smacked her hard across the face.  
“No need to be gentle, I recall you like it rough!” he cried back as he took the bottle of liquid and poured it over the wound. He held her down with both arms as she screamed. It was cleaning the wound, and she was grateful for it, but she felt like she was on fire. Her screams continued as he stopped holding her and slowly clapped.  
“Such a little twat...oh I do miss Tomas, she always made you behave better when you two were together. She knew her place and she didn’t run away...” he stopped clapping and turned away from her.  
Quin heard his belt buckle unfasten and felt herself passing out from the pain, but he saw her and grabbed her by the neck as she let out a yelp. He let her go as she noticed he was wearing just thermal long john bottoms.  
“Now, we’re gonna get you all cleaned up and then we’ll get back to London, to our home, our little flat, but first, a little warm up--” he walked over to a closet and pulled out a blanket and walked back towards her.  
“Remember all the fun we had under this?” he cooed as he took off his jacket, revealing a thermal long sleeved shirt. He took the rag from earlier and slowly began to scrub her exposed torso clean with the soaked rag. The alcohol was cool against her crawling skin as she flashed back to the set, too all the moments of abuse and rage simmered in her.  
I CANNOT ENDURE IT AGAIN! Her mind hollered as she whimpered under his every touch. It was sickening, the way he acted like she was property to be possessed above all else, devoid of any emotion or thought of her own.  
“Well, we’ve got that taken care of…” he tossed the rag off the side of the bed and returned his gaze to her. “Let’s see what else needs to be taken care of…”  
“Please!” Quin begged as her terror reached its peak. She barely believed the words as they escaped her mouth, “Why take me now when you can have me later, better, stronger?” she rattled off, a lump sitting her throat.  
He paused, his eyes thinking over her statement. If there was one that that she recalled about him, he was a purist.  
“I could wait, but it’ll take some time for your shoulder to heal and I have certain needs that only you can fulfill.” He ran his hands over her chest, she felt tears welling up in her eyes with his lingering touches.  
“Oh, of course,” her mind not comprehending how easy it was for her to slip right back into that role, “but I’ve been here for a few days, running about everywhere, I could use an actual bath, to get ready for you…please?”  
Internally she wanted to vomit, but she kept her composure as her shoulder throbbed in pain. He looked at her as a smile crossed onto his face, “I did make sure the shack was properly outfitted for us, I knew we’d get rather dirty again,” he tapped her shoulder which caused her to yelp, “I’ll draw you a bath my lovely.” He roughly kissed her on the mouth; fondled her breasts and she let out another yelp through their pressed lips as Arthur reached down her pants and felt her wetness. Quin felt her face turn bright red as the tip of his middle finger pressed against her clitoris and then circled it. Part of her wanted him to continue, she wasn’t able to block the physical pleasure he was giving her, causing her to experience by his hand again. Her hips lifted off the mattress and he smiled at her.  
“You do miss me, you need me to do more…” he let the words slither out of his mouth and into her ear as his hand lowered and he inserted two fingers inside of her. He moved them so slowly, forcing her to feel every inch of them as they went further inside her. Soon he pumped them faster and faster as he kissed her, using his tongue to force her mouth open and receive his kiss.  
Kill me, please… Quin begged the universe as he inserted another finger and brought her to climax. She clamped around him as her hips buckled up. She felt revolting, knowing that she was feeding into his delusion as he took his fingers out of her and checked her wetness.  
“Absolutely filthy…let’s get you that bath, hmm?” Arthur mocked her as he licked them clean and walked over to the bathroom and closed the door. Quin heard the sound of water splashing into the tub and Arthur groaning as he pleasured himself. Frantically she looked at her wrists, she was handcuffed but her legs were tied to the bed with rope. She had no means of escape. Arthur whistled as he returned from the bathroom, his limp member a clear indicator she had guessed correctly about what he had done in there and he saw her struggling.  
“I can give you something to struggle against…” he teased as his hand cupped his member and he smiled at her.  
“I’m...I’m sorry, I’m just so ready for that bath…my wrists really hurt and I want them to feel good like the rest of me.” She lifted her hips and gave him a pouty look. Arthur smiled as he walked over to her.  
Jackpot, now to just get uncuffed. Quin though as she tried to focus on the task at hand, getting away from him. Allowing herself to wallow in disgust with his violation would only allow more of them to be created.   
Work though that later, get out of here now she commanded herself as she locked eyes with him.  
“I can’t wait to get you back home, to deflower you all over again. No cameras my dear, I learned that from the last time.” He climbed over her and took the keys and a gun he had in his jacket and tucked the gun into the band of his thermals and unlocked her wrists, removing the handcuffs from them. He moved her arm with care as he put his hand on her lower back, forcing her to press against his member, which was beginning to harden again. Quin shivered as he moved against her for a few moments, and then moved down to her ankles and slowly untied the restraints. His movements were like a lover’s but she knew far better than to think he was capable of love.  
Wait for the right moment, with that gun in his band, I can get out of here, but I have to do it right she centered herself as Arthur stood her up and wrapped his arm around her waist and the two of them made their way to the bathroom. He opened the door and they walked in. He leaned her against the wall, his eyes hungry for more of her as he pressed himself against her and began to force her on to her knees when he turned around to shut them in and she took the moment. She grabbed the gun from his thermals, then stood up and kicked him out of the room and quickly locked the door. The lock held.  
Thank you! Quin thought as tears fell from her eyes and she saw the lock was keeping him at bay.  
“You little slut!” Arthur screamed as he pounded on the door.  
“Go to hell you bastard!” she shouted with her entire being. She opened the gun’s chamber and saw one bullet. Only one chance to hit him. To kill him. NO she thought as she turned around and saw the fully stocked medicine cabinet. She scrambled to open it and wrapped up her wound with her right hand as Arthur continued to pound on the door.  
“I’ll take care of this!” he wailed as she heard him walk away from the door. Quin took in her surroundings, there was no other exit for her to take. She’d have to seduce him or shoot her way out. She cocked the gun and shoved a couple bandages down her bra cup, buttoned two buttons on her shirt, and then heard him step back in front of the door. The clank of metal hitting the door startled her as she realized he was taking a hatchet to the door.  
Her fear was interrupted by the sounds of sirens and faint blue and red lights shining through the sliver of a window above the tub. She turned off the water as she heard a voice call out:  
“Arthur cutlass, NYPD! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!”  
“Chief Dodds?” she said as she leaned against the sink. She looked at her left shoulder and saw the wound flowing with blood. She felt colder than before and standing up was harder for her to do than a few moments ago.  
“Cutlass, come out with your hands up!” chief Dodds screamed into his speakerphone as the hatchet broke through the door. Arthur reached through the door at her, so she pulled the gun out and pointed it at him. Her movements happened in slow motion; out of the corner of her eye she saw chief Dodds in a bulletproof vest point a gun at Arthur, who then turned around and lunged at the chief. A bullet went through his calf and another through his right shoulder as Arthur fell down and collapsed.  
“Put the gun down!” Chief Dodds ordered. Quin dropped the gun and felt him rush over to her and help her stand. His other hand accidentally grabbed her shoulder and she cried out in pain.  
“it's over, it's over--”  
“Mike—sergeant Dodds, is he?” she pushed through the pain as they stepped over Arthur's body.  
“--He's in the hospital, which is where we're gonna take you. That shoulder looks like hell.” the chief answered her as they continued to walk out of the shack. Quin opened and closed her eyes and time stopped. She glanced at the chief, his blue eyes filled with a quiet determination as he took a blanket from a medic and wrapped it around her while ordering her to go with the medic next to the stretcher. His hand left her body as the medic gently picked her up and put her on to the stretcher. Quin felt her vision tunnel as she looked to her left and saw Benson and Carisi looking at her, each one of them trying to be strong and hold in their terror but failing miserably.  
“I'm riding over with her!” Carisi got out as he rushed to her side. Benson simply nodded and her brown eyes reflected their gratefulness that Quin was okay. Carisi sat next to her in the ambulance and said nothing as the paramedic worked around him, all the while he held her hand. Monitors beeped and she felt an oxygen mask go over her nose and mouth.  
“It's over?” she managed to get out before shedding tears of relief.  
Carisi rested his other hand on her head, “Yeah...it's, it's over” his voice broke as he squeezed her hand.  
“the sergeant—is he?” she asked between breaths. Breathing was hard.  
“He's fine, so are Munch and Cassidy, you're gonna be fine, hang in there.” she saw him take in a breath, almost willing his body to be strong.  
“Sonny, Cassidy...he...shot...okay...” she murmured as she heard the heart rate monitor flat line- the long beep growing faint along with Carisi's panicked cries.  
“Quin? Quin?!” he faded as she closed her eyes, “did he shoot you?! Did Cassidy shoot you? QUIN!”


	15. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An friend from Quin's time in England pays her a hospital visit and after the events of the Gauntlet, Quin and Mike finally have an actual moment alone to themselves, so how are they gonna use it?
> 
> Warning: sweet and steamy smut be in this chapter. You've been forewarned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to extend a thank you for everyone still reading this! Please feel free to leave a kudos or to comment about things you liked or disliked. All I ask is that it's done respectfully and not just to be a dick about it. 
> 
> I do rather enjoy comments!

Finn walked into the dimly lit hospital room. The pink walls had to be giving his friend some odd dreams, it was the same shade of pink as the stomach antacid he took when he found out what Munch had been through.   
Man, I hope you're dreaming, after the shit you've been through... Finn thought as he made his way over to Munch's bed, which was right next to Cassidy's, only separated by a dividing curtain. Both men looked like crap, but Finn moved closer to Munch's bed, and Munch opened his eyes. Even with having a good decade or two on him, he looked alert and was already scanning the room with his eyes. Finn held up the white deli bag he sneaked into the hospital under his jacket and Munch's eyes and mouth smiled.  
“Thought you could use some real food-”  
Munch chuckled as he put on his glasses, “-and to think, this time I didn't have to take a bullet to the ass...”  
“...just cruxification, from what I've been able to ease drop on, no one's really sharing what happened. Must have scared the crap out of the chief. Liv says hi by the way.”  
“How is the good...lieutenant, right? How is she?”  
“She's good, glad you two are okay,” his eyes got serious, “you two are okay, right?” he handed Munch the bag and watched the older man tear into the meal like a starving teenager.  
“Yes,” Munch got out between a bite, “thankfully, with that young sergeant's shot, I was able to counteract the crap they injected me with, hey...is Dodds okay?”  
Finn sat down on the edge of his bed, “Yeah, he's alright, it'll take him some time to heal. He got one in the thigh and another in the forearm while trying to help Quin escape.”  
“Is Quin okay?” Munch asked with concerned eyes.  
“She's stable, they had to treat her shoulder along with dehydration and they're looking at long term treatment plans, but she's resting now. ADAs get their own suites-” Finn rolled his eyes in jest.  
“-Hey, she deserves it...” Munch and Finn heard Cassidy's groggy voice behind the vanity curtain.  
“You decent over there?” Munch teased as Finn pulled back the curtain and saw Cassidy sitting up in bed, with his arm in a sleeve. He looked better, but his manner made Finn second guess himself.  
“You alright?” Munch inquired as he sat down his lunch and gave Cassidy his attention.  
Cassidy rubbed his face with his free hand, “Guys...I shot her...” he got out before his shame took him over.  
“Excuse you?” Finn glared at him.  
“Fin-please, go on.” Munch gently nudged Cassidy to speak.  
“I...I thought you were dead, okay?” Cassidy turned away from them, “all I wanted to do was get out of there-they were gonna have me take her to some shack and God knows what-”  
“-you thought of Liv and Lewis.” Munch jumped in.  
“Yeah, and I couldn't put her through that, I know what it's done to Liv, and so then Dodds said he shot you and I just lost it, but she stood in front of him and the next thing I know, I pulled the trigger and she fell to the floor...then I heard the other shots and then I fell...I passed out after that, I'm so sorry Munch, I really thought...”  
“-you know that when she comes to and they take her statement, she's gonna mention it.” Finn tacked on as he looked at Munch.  
“I know, and I'll answer for it...” Cassidy's remorse was evident to the other two men.  
“We're all alive, that's what matters.” Munch answered as he handed Cassidy a couple of french fries from his bag.   
The younger man took them and ate them, and then looked at Finn, “Where's my secret bag of food?”  
“You ever been shot in the ass?” Finn sassed at him as Munch took a sip from his large chocolate shake.  
“No...does a knife to the inner thigh count?” Cassidy sassed in suit.  
“Gets you more fries.” Munch passed the bag of fries to him as Cassidy smiled.  
“I guess my time's ticking away...” he answered them.  
“Quin's the one who really decides, you've just gotta hope she didn't mention it to anyone during her ride over here. If it's a random, it's gonna be a lot harder to shake it off.” Finn replied.  
“I don't wanna get away with it, I just want her to be okay...she could barely pretend to run away from me when we were outside.”  
“Brian, everything will work in the end.” Munch comforted him.  
“I hope so.”  
“Me too.”  
Chief Dodds watched his eldest son use every bit of energy in his being to get into the wheelchair next to his bed. It was painful to watch Mike struggle with his lack of mobility, but due to the modified bed they put him in, he was able to slowly slide into the seat of the electric wheelchair and a smile crossed his face. It had been nearly a day since he had been found and he was liberated from his IV drip, the last chain keeping him in his bed. Since he had been awake all he could do was ask about Quin and her recovery. Mike let out a groan and he immediately rushed to his son's side.  
“Mike, Mike! You really shouldn't be pushing yourself so soon after what happened to you, the doc said not to overexert yourself!” he didn't want to hear the panic in his voice but it was evident to him and to Mike.  
“Dad, I'm gonna be fine.” his son's expression spoke to an absolute desire to be free from his constant watch, “they put a stabilizer on my thigh and the arm brace is keeping my arm in place...I just wanna see her.”  
Chief Dodds moved in front of the exit and Mike openly rolled his eyes at him.  
“Mike, she's still sleeping, let her rest-” his protests met with Mike moving closer to him in the electric wheelchair and stopping right in front of his feet.  
“I just want to be the first person she sees when she wakes up. Please?” he pleaded as the chief sighed and crossed his arms. “I will run you over with this wheelchair.” a small grin returned to his face as the chief found himself moving out of his way.  
“Thanks” Mike started as he began to leave the room as his father moved behind him and pushed the chair, even though it was completely unnecessary.  
“I didn't feel like being crushed by a wheelchair today, you're in luck son.” he replied as he walked behind his son down the hallway. He noticed several of the nurses, both men and women, staring at his son and whispering about how heroic he had been.  
He's spoken for ladies...and fellas... the chief thought as they made their way down to ADA Montgomery's suite. “Fancy ADA gets-” he snarked as he noticed the enormous size of it and Mike knocked on the door. A moment later it opened up. Detective Carisi along with ADA Barba, both in casual clothing, stood before them.  
“Guess I won't be the first to see her awake...” Mike sighed.  
“Chief.” Carisi respectfully greeted him as Barba crossed his arms, but softened up upon seeing Mike.  
“She's still asleep, we were only here to drop off some flowers and pray.” Barba stated in his professional, lawyer tone.  
“Pray?” the chief raised an eyebrow as Barba looked at Carisi to field the question.  
“What can I say, just two devout Catholics praying for a good friend and associate, hope that ain't gonna be a problem...” Carisi raised his hands.  
“Hardly, gentlemen...” the chief answered back as Mike turned around and looked at him, “Mike just wanted to see her, alone.” he smiled at them.  
“We were about to get lunch before heading back to work.” Barba answered him as the chief saw the look Carisi made, the same look his wife made whenever he was able to hold back being an ass.  
Carisi smiled with his dimples on parade, “Wanna join us, chief?” he asked in a cheerful tune that made Barba hold back raising a stink about the impromptu invite.  
“I'll be fine, I can get into the room mysel--” Mike couldn't finish his statement due to Carisi pushing his wheelchair into Quin's room to get away from the chief. They left the chief and Barba outside to glare at each other, as Carisi pushed Mike right next to her. He was about to turn around and leave, but Mike reached for his forearm to stop him.  
“Yeah Sarge?” Carisi asked, not phased by the sergeant grabbing him.  
“How is she? My old man said she was in rough shape...what are the doctors saying?”  
“She slept through yesterday, when she got here they pulled her straight into the OR and took care of her shoulder. They were able to undo most of the damage that sick son of a bitch did to her, but they're watching it to see how it'll heal. She should have full function of it, but it'll take some time and therapy. She hasn't gotten up yet and yes, we did actually pray.”  
Mike gave him a look as he explained, “What? We're both Catholic and any little favor that gets her better again is worth all the hail Mary's in the world.”  
“Thanks, Carisi. I'll tell her she had two guardian angels watching over her...since I couldn't...”  
“You can't actually be beating yourself up over this?” Carisi exclaimed as he put his hands on his hips, “You were there with her almost every step of the way, you comforted my friend when she needed you the most...that's...that's what she needed, so I should be thanking you, my friend.” Carisi patted his shoulder and left the room.  
“Yeah...” Mike said to himself as he looked at her. She did look better than he recalled; her cheek was bruised from being smacked, but it wasn't as swollen as it had been. Her hair framed her face as moved her head to the side, showcasing her long and lovely neck, that he wanted to rest his face against.  
He reached out and tentatively held her hand as she opened her eyes and looked at him.  
“You're okay...” she got out as he leaned closer to her and rested his head on her right shoulder.  
“I'm okay, but are you gonna be okay, I-” he paused as she rested her head on his, taking him back to their date at the art exhibit. He could hear and feel the memory surrounding him as he felt their peacefulness in that moment. The Picasso painting before them made his mind recall her comment about it,  
“...but without loss, there isn't growth and you can't have joy without pain. No pain and joy has no meaning to it...it becomes meaningless.”  
“So Barba and Carisi were praying over me. I don't know how to feel about that. I was kinda awake a little while ago, but opening my eyes felt like running a marathon.” Quin softly spoke as his right hand, now with a clean bandage held both of hers. He could hear all the machines beeping around her and it scared him.  
“Don't worry, most of these are just monitoring my heart rate. I'm okay, really...” She comforted him as he took in a deep breath.  
“I really don't know what I would do if you weren't here with me, alive.” Mike was able to get out as he felt himself overcome with emotion. Quin's thumb stroked his hand.  
“You don't need to say anything, I'm here and we'll survive, I recall you telling me that once.”  
“Yeah, I just wasn't sure if I was gonna pull it off...” he looked away from her. The thought of them dying in there, without a chance to live their lives to the fullest clawed at his heart, pulling away shreds of strength with each grasp.  
“You did, we did. Munch did, and Cassidy did...right?” She asked him as he looked back at her.  
“They made it; the shot I gave to Munch slowed the absorption of whatever those bastards put into him, and Cassidy was shot in the chest, but he's recovering...what happened to Arthur?”  
“You father shot him in the calf and shoulder...your father saved me...” she barely spoke loud enough for him to hear.  
“You sure it was my father?” Mike tried to joke with her as he lifted his head up and looked into her eyes. They were the ideal shade of blue, not too light and not too dark, and the golden ring in them shined as she collected herself.  
“It was...he came through the door, I had...” she stopped. Arthur's hand was in her, inside her and she felt her chest tighten as the assault played out in her memory again.  
He can't know that ever happened, I can't let him know that was done to me Quin thought as she took in a breath and slowly let it out.  
“You don't have to tell me...I didn't-”  
“-No it's fine, I had been able to get away from him and he followed me towards the bathroom, and your father stormed in and shot him twice. He then helped me get to the ambulance and I passed out in there. I must have scared Carisi half to death, I've gotta buy him the biggest box of cannoli in existence to make up for worrying him like that.”  
He felt himself smile, “Yeah, we both can get him some...once you're better that is.”  
“and once you're better too, Gods, he shot you in the thigh, it's gonna take awhile for you to be back in SVU...I'm sor--”  
“--don't apologize for him, you didn't shoot me, Arthur Cutlass did, and he's going away for a long time. That I do promise you, Quin.”  
“I promise you too, I'll try everything in my power to help Barba put him away.”  
“There is no way he's expecting you to be at work on Monday, right?!” Mike verbalized.  
“No, I over heard him telling Carisi, between prayers, that he'll ask the DA for me to be on extended leave. Chances are that's what your father and Benson will be able to get for you too.”  
“Yeah, but...they're gonna want us to talk about it...I don't know if I can, right now.” a sadness washed over his face as he took in another deep breath.  
“Hey, we'll worry about that when we get there...chances are they'll get statements from us and then let us have some time to work through it, but we've got each other.” she took her hand and ran it through his chestnut hair, evoking a smile from him.  
“I wouldn't have it any other way, I...I love...you.” a single tear fell from his eye, running the trail of his face's contour and falling off his jawline.  
“I love you too...and it's over, it's really over...” she began to cry too, feeling his pain as her own, “We get to be happy now, and I get to spend the rest of my life reminding you of that.” her hand caressed his face as they savored the moment between them, which was ended by a knock on the door.  
Quin wiped her eyes with her blanket, “who is it?”  
“Love, it's Ronnie. Okay to come in?”   
Mike looked at her and she smiled, “Yes Ronnie.”  
The door opened and an older, British gentleman walked in. His sandy brown hair was neat on his head, the trim and tidy nature of it matching his suit, which had a practical yet professional look to it. It was a deep brown color with a white button down shirt under it, and a green tie. His blue eyes, a shade darker than Carisi's, shifted their attention between Mike and Quin over his glasses as he stood still, looking at her.  
“Good, God love, you gonna be alright?” Ronnie asked as he stepped over to them. Mike noticed the paternal energy from him. He really could have passed for her father if he wanted to in a heartbeat.  
“Ronnie, I'd like to introduce you to sergeant Mike Dodds, he...um...he's my...” she somberly got out as Ronnie walked to the other side of her bed and put his hand on the crown of her head, and tried not to cry.  
“Holy hell love, he's the bloke you've been seeing, and the bloke you snogged on the internet...” he pulled his hand away and put both into his pants pockets.  
“Hold on-!” Mike began to shout.  
“Mike, dear...he's just trying to process the situation...” Quin answered for Ronnie, who nodded his head.  
“I am, I'm sorry. We know that you two are an item from watching the feed, but once it went dark, I knew I had to get here as soon as possible. Jake and the others send their love, but they're gonna be right ticked that you had a beau and never told us. Way you two were forced to carry on, they were convinced you were married.” Ronnie added as he sat down on the couch next to her.  
Quin chuckled and Mike didn't realize how badly he missed it until then.  
“Well, now that the whole world has seen us in action, I will let you know that it's new, and that its one of those connections, bond, that you just know will last.” she gushed as Ronnie smiled at her.  
Mike felt confused that she was gushing about their relationship with Ronnie, but he was also relieved that someone wasn't going on and on about what had been done to them. He wanted to make sure that she was comfortable, and if he had the strength to stand, he'd hug him.  
“This fine lad feel the same way?” Ronnie looked over his reading glasses.  
Mike smiled, “Yes, very much so.” the pride he felt for Quin beaming through him.  
“Well, that's settled, when you two getting married?!” Ronnie teased. Mike saw Quin's face blush and he felt his go hot too.  
“Oh hell you two, I'm joking!”  
Quin let out a sigh of relief, “that's not for the idea of ever marrying you, just doing it right now...”  
“I know, I know.” Mike held her hand to reassure her.  
“So tell me, how did you two love birds meet?” Ronnie inquired as he sat back on the couch.  
“Funny story actually...” Quin began. Mike sat by her side for the next couple of hours listening to her narrate their young relationship.  
It's really over. He thought as his chest swelled with relief.

 

Benson stood in the waiting room. Arthur cutlass had been finally moved out of the ICU and she was waiting to get the all clear to interview him. The man had two bullets removed from his body, but there was also evidence that chief Dodds had beaten the man shortly after going into the shack where Arthur had taken Quin. The chief, in her opinion, must have shown immense restraint to not kill Arthur right then and there. Now that SVU had the knowledge that Arthur was the man orchestrating the gauntlet, and the two men killed by him were just lackeys, it changed the nature of their investigation.   
Why set up the gauntlet in the first place, when just coming to New York would be so much easier to do, why get the wights involved? Benson thought as the ICU unit doors opened and an older doctor walked up to her. The woman's long black hair was framed with white hairs, but it only added to her beauty.  
Benson bee-lined it towards the doctor and was instantly answered.  
“He'll pull through, the bullets missed major veins and arteries, but he had a slight complication from the anesthetic we used in surgery.  
“When can we question him? It's been over 24 hours and we have to move on this.” Benson pressed the doctor, whose green eyes grew large.  
“When he wakes up he should be lucid; we'll have him under 24 hour watch and he's been made a top priority, I assure you lieutenant.” the doctor turned on her heels and walked away from her.  
Benson sighed and turned her head. She noticed the sign on the wall that pointed her in the direction of the cafeteria. Her stomach rumbled in agreement and she made her way to the elevator. The ride down was solitary, and she was grateful for the moment to think without anyone watching her. Her heart went out to Quin, whose current emotional distress had to be high like hers had been shortly after Lewis had taken her.   
Don't think like that, Mike and the chief would never forgive you if you did Liv. She chided herself as the elevator doors opened and she found herself on the ground floor and right in front of a cafe. She saw the chief, surprisingly along with Carisi and Barba of all people sitting together at a table and eating lunch. Carisi looked up and made eye contact with her.  
“Lieutenant, over here!” he flagged her down as she felt herself move over to their table. Soon she was seated next to chief Dodds, who looked exhausted but relieved that Mike was okay.  
“How is Quin? I have yet to visit.”  
Barba looked up at her, “Carisi and I dropped off some flowers for her earlier, and Mike's up there with her now.”  
The chief crossed his arms and Benson read his discomfort with it.  
“You gonna be okay?” she asked the chief as he looked at her.  
“Yeah, I let Mike visit her-”  
“-let him visit her?” Benson asked. She knew the pressure Mike was under from his father, but this crossed into possessive territory.  
“-you know what I mean, he's still in his brace and he took a bullet through the thigh...” he rolled his eyes at them, “ I just don't want him over exerting himself too soon. That's all I promise.”   
The other three saw his paternal anxiety brewing in his eyes and chucked it up to his earlier comment up to that.  
“He'd climb Mt. Everest for her chief.” Carisi added as he took a sip of coffee.  
“Is there any time line for when Quin will be discharged?” Liv questioned them.  
“She can go home at the end of the week, but she'll be on extended leave during PT.” Barba jumped in, “I've already started the paper work, she'll be able to really work through everything.”  
“Good, good,” the chief nodded his head, “She can go home and see family once she's well enough to fly home, climb some English mountains or whatever Brits do to feel better about themselves.”  
Carisi and Barba exchanged looks with each other, but Carisi replied, “Yeah, she doesn't have any family family...her parents died in a car crash when she was a baby.”  
“Oh...” the chief dryly spoke, “I had no clue...Mike really didn't mention it...does he know?”  
“I don't think that's the most important thing on the table right now...I shouldn't have even brought it up to be honest.” Carisi backpedaled as he polished off his coffee.  
“I've gotta go, just got a text from Finn, he got a hold of Huang and I want to catch him up on the case. Tell Quin and Mike I'll visit them later.”  
“Will do lieutenant.” Carisi said as she got up and left their table. “Hey, I should be getting back as well. Councilor, I'll give you a ride home.”  
Barba nodded, “Sure, see you later chief.”  
Chief Dodds looked at both of them and smiled, “I should get back up there and pull him away before they find some kind of legal technicality that lets them share the same bed without being married...” Both men looked at him, “Look if I could figure a way for them to share the same suite I would, I promise, but it's not an option,okay?”   
Carisi and Barba looked at each other, and then at him and agreed.  
“See you later, chief.” Carisi wished him well and both of them made their way to the elevator to get to the parking garage.  
The chief began to walk towards her suite as he mulled over the situation in his mind. He couldn't shake seeing her covered in blood, barely wearing any clothing and looking out of her mind terrified. The way she shook as he held her with his arm, did she shake the same way with Mike? ADA Montgomery had to be resilient, but resilience isn't born, it's learned.  
What the hell happened to you as a kid Montgomery? He thought as he exited the elevator and walked down the hallway her room was in.  
There was laughter coming from her room, joyful gut-busting laughter. It wasn't just hers but his sons too.  
Hers and his.  
His hand reached for the door handle but the chief paused as he heard Mike talk to someone else. The happiness in his son's voice changed how his son sounded, he didn't sound like the man he knew as his own. It was like another person was able to capture his son's voice and use it like their own, but it caused a dissonance between who he thought his son was and the possibility of who is son actually was.  
Is that how he'd sound if I didn't push him into the force, like my old man pushed me? Chief Dodds thought as he continued to listen to his son.  
“Oh, I was so awkward, like tripping over myself awkward as you came crashing into me that night a few weeks ago. I shouldn't have stood so close to you like that...but, I saw you about eight months ago and I knew I had to know you. What you liked, what your name was, first name that is, and even know I'm still-” the light hearted energy in Mike's voice, it was so long ago that the chief had heard it.  
He hasn't sounded like that since, God, high school...  
“-you aren't awkward, us Brits call it endearing, it's how we complement one another, right love?”  
Who in the hell is?-  
“Ronnie, stop scaring him away...” Quin's voice sprang up in octave as she laughed.  
The chief peeked into the room and saw Mike holding her hand as they continued laughing.  
“Oh, hello there!” the older British man Quin called Ronnie said as the chief was spotted by him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mike fall back into his well constructed exterior of professional decorum. Quin pulled the blanket up to her neck as she blushed before him.  
“I didn't mean to interrupt-”  
“Oh, c'mon, out with it, who are you?” Ronnie teased as he motioned the chief to come into the room. The chief walked over to her bed as Mike introduced him.  
“Ronnie,” the stony tone his son normally used returned, “this is my father, Chief William Dodds.”  
The chief extended his hand towards Ronnie.  
“Detective Ronnie Brooks, London”  
“A pleasure, how do you know ADA Montgomery?” the chief asked at Ronnie looked over at Quin with a raised eyebrow.  
“I leave you here for less than a year and you go and make your name even longer, huh love?”  
Quin smiled, “Ronnie, ADA stands for assistant district attorney, it's the states equivalent of a CP, remember?”  
The older man cracked a smile, “I know, but the next thing you'll be calling me saying it's ADA Montgomery, uh...uh, Dodds, you know, with the hyphen.”  
Her face along with his son's flushed red.  
“Um...I...” Mike attempted to reply.  
“Relax Mike, Quin's adoptive father and I seem to see eye to eye on this.”  
“Oh, I'm not Quin's adoptive father, although, I should be,” he glanced at her, “I know you're in your early thirties, but you want me to adopt you?” he joked as Quin smiled.  
“Once again Ronnie, flattered, but I'll have to decline, no need making your other kids jealous.” she teased right back, “He is the closest thing I have to a family, but when I was a baby my birth parents put me up for adoption and my adoptive parents died in a car accident when I was three, so I'm an orphan.” she said to the chief as she looked at him.  
The chief blinked as she rattled off the fact like it was nothing. She was devoid of a family, without a security net of kinship and guidance, but she was here, strong and able to handle all the hell of her life and more. He thought back to his earlier statement about her resilience and knew it had been a hard, cruel road for her so far.   
Would being with Mike make that road end and start a kinder path for her?  
Quin reached out and grabbed Mike's hand, “It's okay, I don't really like hiding it, like it's something to be ashamed of because it isn't.”  
He watched his son nod his head in agreement and noticed her mindfulness.  
Alright, time to get Mike to the next level with this.  
“So, what are you kids going to do for the holidays?” Ronnie jumped in.  
“Well the good thing about the gauntlet is that I didn't have to eat Chinese food alone this year, so there's that-”  
“-ADA Montgomery you'll have Christmas with us!” the chief blurted out. Mike and Quin looked at each other, then him and then each other again. “What?!” the chief got out as he fidgeted with his hands and took in a breath, “It's about time we got to know her better! You two have had your romantic time with each other, but for the future of our family-”  
“-Dad!” Mike cut in.  
Ronnie held his hands up, “-Oi! Let them get their on their own time line chief. Quin's a good woman and Mike seems like a stand up bloke-”  
“-he's more than that, one hell of a long career so far, he'll be on the lieutenant's list for sure in a few years-”  
Again, Mike cut in, “-Dad, I've got my own thoughts on-”  
“Mike, you've got a long successful career ahead of you, don't sell yourself short to Ronnie like you did with Benson.”  
“Excuse you?!” Quin practically leaped in, “I-!”  
Ronnie interjected, “-I assure you chief, he's has. How could I think any less of him with what they've endured together?”  
The chief let out a huff and then took in a calming breath, “ I'm sorry, everyone. I'm just tired, and Mike, Mike you should be getting back to bed, to rest.” he looked at Quin, “and Quin should be getting her rest too.” the chief fished for the most proper way to get Mike back to his room and into his bed to rest.  
“Actually the nurse checked in on me a while ago and said that as long as I feel up to it, I don't have to be alone in bed all day. It's better for me to be out and about.” Mike said as Quin sat up in her bed. “You okay?”  
“I just recalled that I should be trying to walk- they want me to try and move about today, I over heard the nurses talking about it before I completely woke up this morning.” She said as she began to get up and Mike helped her stand from his wheelchair.  
“Here love, let me help too.” Ronnie added as he went to her side and held her hand as she put her weight on her ankle.  
“Mike, you should be-” the chief was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. He answered it, listened for a few moments, and then hung up. He caught Mike's eyes, “Tomas Ives escaped.”  
“What?!” Quin exclaimed as she almost fell down.  
“Tomas Ives?” Ronnie asked as he helped hold Quin up.  
“She was the one who sold us into the gauntlet.” Mike coldly replied to him while he tried to not make a fist with his right hand.  
“Look, I've gotta go, keep eyes on them.” the chief said to Ronnie as he left the room. Ronnie looked at the two of them, “He knows you're adults, right?”  
“Sometimes.” Mike replied as Quin took a few weak steps by herself around her bed, but then fell down.  
“Easy love, easy!” Ronnie said as he helped her back up, “Look, neither one of you is going anywhere anytime soon, but I could use something to eat, so how about I leave you two alone to just be alone together?”  
“Ronnie, we didn't mean to put you out...” Quin began, but Ronnie smiled.  
“You've done no such thing, I just get that you haven't have any actual time to yourselves as a couple, to just be with one another. I'm gonna get lunch, I'll swing back by later, okay?”  
“Okay.” Quin and Mike answered in unison as Ronnie left the room. Quin slowly sat down on the edge of her bed and smiled at Mike.  
“I'm glad its over, but, I'm so...” she blushed as she crossed her ankles and adjusted her hospital gown. He moved his wheelchair closer to her and rested his head in her lap. Quin felt herself getting aroused a bit by the gesture.  
Is it even proper to think that we'd be able to sneak one in...he has to think I'm vulgar as-  
Mike's hand trailed up her calf, sending a dozen shivers up her lower back and spine. His hand worked up her knee and parted her legs- he lifted his head up and stared into her eyes.  
“I've missed you...mentally, emotionally, and...sexually.” he got out. Quin bent forward and kissed him hard on the lips. The way they tasted, their soft texture was spectacular to her. She grabbed onto the collar of his sweatshirt and boldly slipped her tongue into his mouth.  
Please take me, make me forget about him...I want this and I need it her heart pleaded as she looked at her room door, then saw the curtain around the bed. Bingo. She thought as Mike's thumb slid under her panties and stroked her. She moaned through their kiss as he pushed deeper into it.  
“Mike, can you get on to the bed?” she whispered in a husky, low voice.  
“I can most certainly try.” he answered in a similar, lusty voice. She scooted over and wrapped her right arm around his waist, “ready? On three?”  
“Yeah-”  
“One, two, three!” Both moved in unison and soon he was on the bed, “Success!” Quin cheered as she leaned against him and they continued to make out. She covered every inch of him with kisses as she felt his thumb return under her panties and her body responding by becoming increasingly aroused.  
“What about the door?” Mike asked as he gently laid down on the bed, leaving a half for her to lay next to him.  
“I've got it.” Quin smiled as she reached for the curtain and pulled it around the whole length of her bed. “Thank God for privacy curtains and private suites.” she added as Mike smiled at her.  
“C'mere.”  
“Yes sergeant.” Quin purred at him as she winked and straddled him below his knees. “Now, I'll have to examine you with care.” she removed the band of his sweats just below his now fully erect member and looked at him.  
“You don't have to do anything you don't-Oh!” Mike gasped as she took his member into her mouth. He had dreamed about this, her lips wrapped around him late at work, under his desk when no one else was around, a little fantasy he teased himself to, but what she was doing right now, shattered his limited view of her abilities. She remained lip locked around him, but began to take him in, inch by inch until she had him in her mouth, the tip touching the back of her throat, and then in a meticulous fashion moved her mouth back to the top, all while swirling her tongue under the head of his member, licking the right spot, the now throbbing vein under his head. He desperately wanted to call out in pleasure, but instead ran his hand through her hair, trying not to pull it in the ecstasy of the moment. Her right hand cupped his balls and squeezed them in rhythm with her movements.  
It was so intense that within a few minutes he was at the brink of climax and he gently pleaded, “I'm close...I...I-!” She unflinchingly swallowed as he came in her mouth and grabbed the back of her head as gently as possible. He had been holding back since they had been locked in the glass cage and knew he'd teased her too. His hips lowered as she took a moment to clear her mouth and sat up, resting on her legs. She winked at him as she laid herself next to him and pulled the band of his sweats back up to his waist. He closed his eyes as the aftershock of pleasure ripple through him, and then her lips met his. Normally he wouldn't have been comfortable with her kissing him after swallowing, but he was so mentally turned on by her boldness, that he pulled her close to him and kissed her hard back. She looked at him and touched her nose to his.  
“I've always wanted to do that, the hospital situation lent itself well to that desire.” she quiped as she rested her head on his chest.  
“Please tell me that I won't have to be shot in the thigh to have that happen again?” he teased as his hand slipped once more into her panties. She was wet, so wet and the fact that it partially came from giving him a blow job in a hospital nearly made him hard again. The scenario was naughty and she was just as turned on as he was, her heaving chest lent evidence to it.  
“You know what I really want to do?” he sultry asked her as his eyes glinted.  
Quin let out a soft moan, “what's that?” she let her hips push against his hand, his fingers gently stroking her and teasing her without mercy. He pulled her into a passionate kiss, taking his tongue and darted it into her mouth, and then pulled away.  
“Taste you.” he growled into her ear.  
“I-- I don't know how you could do that, your thigh, remember?” she playfully replied as a bit of her wetness moved down his fingers.  
“I can't move, but this bed has just the right angle for you to get up and personal. I would just need another set of lips to kiss.” he grinned as she blushed. She bit her lip, got up on to her knees and slid her panties off, stashing them under her pillow. She held up her hospital gown as she straddled his shoulders with her legs and felt his warm, large hand hold on to her waist as he slid down slightly and aligned his mouth with her other set of lips.  
“Are you gonna be stable like this?” he asked as she lifted her hospital gown up to keep it out of the way.  
“Yes...OH!” she cried out as he dove into her lips, licking and teasing them. She fought the urge to grind against his mouth, but soon he was using his hand to gently rock her hips closer to his mouth. Quin rested her hand on the bed frame and used her abdominal muscles to keep steady as he continued to taste her. No one had ever given her this kind of specific attention, and she found it more and more challenging to hold back from letting out small moans.  
“Don't hold back...please, for me.” Mike whispered as he worked a couple of fingers inside of her.  
“I...I won't, please, Gods don't stop!” she gasped as he smiled at her with his eyes and used the tip of his tongue to tease her clitoris. The earlier inhibition of grinding against his face was gone as she bucked her hips. He slid in another finger and in rhythm with her hips rubbed her g-spot. Her legs spread wider apart as he grew confident he was pleasing her and soon she was quivering. They continued for few minutes as she rested her torso against the wall and her head clutching the crown of his head.  
“Mike!” she moaned as she felt herself tighten over his fingers and lips. She bucked her hips and arched her back as she came. They stayed locked in their erotic pose for a moment and she got up as he took his fingers out of her, and she found herself taking them into her mouth and licking them clean, with no shame or disgust with her actions. Mike bit his lower lip, her tongue cleaning his fingers making him twitching him under his pants again. She stood up and put on her panties with care and returned her hospital gown to its proper position. Quin hobbled to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. Mike heard the water flow and rested his head on her pillow. Their moment was officially the freakiest act they had done with another person and he felt himself liberated by the fact it was with her and not another woman. She came out of the bathroom and pulled back the curtain and looked at him.  
“If your father comes back and you aren't neat and clean, I'll hear about it for the rest of my life.” she sassed him.  
“Well, you're neat and clean...”  
“Mike! C'mon we're gonna wash your face and hands.” her hands made her way to her hips as she ordered him to get up. He was not able to deny her orders.  
“Yes, dear.” he smiled as she helped him get into his wheelchair and they went into the bathroom. They closed the door and she took a bar of soap and jokingly put it into his mouth.  
“H-hey!” he chuckled with a full bar of soap in his mouth. Quin laughed as he took the bar out of his mouth.  
“You've gotta clean that too...” he said as he stuck the bar into her mouth, laughing as she made a face and grabbed a washcloth, wrapped it around the bar and pulled it out of her mouth. She ran the water in the sink and soon scrubbed him clean, but not without sneaking in a few wet and steamy kisses.  
Mike looked at her, “You're wonderful.” he moved a strand of hair out of her eyes. The gold ring in her eyes shimmered as she looked at him.  
“You are too...Mike...I love you, when we get out of here...would you think about moving in with me?” his head rested on her chest as she leaned against him.  
“No need to think, yes...I will.” he whispered as they kissed in the dimly lit bathroom.  
Thank you, thank you for this... Quin's heart sung out into the universe.


	16. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huang joins the rest of SVU to help make their case against the sadist behind the gauntlet as recovery is halted by personal demons awakening and coming out to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there readers,
> 
> I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. I am so appreciative that you find the story engaging enough to keep on reading. Any comments or thoughts you want to share, please feel free to, I just ask that you don't be a dick about it. Constructive criticism goes a long way.
> 
> Feel free to check me out on tumblr: Ladyzootie.
> 
> Enjoy this. I get a feeling that in a few more chapters I'll be done with this arc of the tale. :D

Carisi dropped Barba at his apartment with a quick kiss and then made his way to the precinct. It was technically his day off, but with their suspect missing and dangerous there was no way he was actually going to take his day off. At least Rafi would be able to rest, Carisi mentally noted that he looked run down, so that gave Carisi some relief. Even with their very young relationship he already found himself caring for Barba like they had been dating for several months.   
I know what she's feeling with the sarge, I feel it with Rafi... Carisi speculated to himself as he pulled into the precinct garage and parked his car. I don't know what I would do if he was hurt, injured. What would he want me to do? The detective's thoughts trampled through his mind as he walked into the bullpen and saw Finn talking with a shorter Asian man. It took him a moment to recall the man, he was Dr. George Huang, the consult that the defense used to help get a mistrial in the Hoda case. He wanted to be irate about Huang being here, but he knew that Huang was going to be helping them.  
If you help Quin, I'll make peace with you helping out that slime ball Hoda. Carisi mulled over to himself as he eavesdropped in on their conversation.  
“Hopefully we'll be able to put him away for a very long time.” Huang commented as he tried to soothe the irritable Finn.  
“Yeah, just glad to know that you're working with us instead of against-”  
Huang raised his eyebrows in understanding, “-I know my consulting as come off as finicky, but it's where I'm at with my life and it gets me out of Oklahoma.”  
Finn took a sip of coffee, “Yeah, I get that, but the Hoda trial-?”  
Huang took in breath, “We'll just have to agree to disagree on that one Finn, how are Munch and Cassidy doing?”  
Fin shrugged, “ Munch was lively as ever, swear to God, He'll die laughing at the face of death.  
“And Cassidy?” Huang gently pushed.  
“Brian's okay, kinda shaken up, he-”  
“Olivia!” Huang's happiness lit up on his face as Carisi noticed the reservation in his boss's expression. She was still pretty irate about Huang testimony about Hoda, from what he gathered, but reevaluated his statement as the caution left her body and she gave Huang a hug.  
“It's good to see you.” she platonically replied as Huang smiled.  
“Good to see you too, so, where is the person I'm going to be evaluating?”  
“There's an issue with that,” Finn looked at Liv, who sighed.  
“My office?” she answered as they went in. Carisi stayed at his desk and worked on some paperwork.

Finn shut the door behind them as Liv and Huang took their respective seats. He noticed Huang looking over the office, not seeing it for a while since he left, it had changed substantially with Benson becoming a Lieutenant. Gone was the harsh working atmosphere that was encapsulated during Cragen's run with a warmer, kinder, yet firm aura that matched Benson's persona.  
Benson look off her reading glasses and allowed her body to release a bit of the tension it had been holding since she got in. “Tomas Ives escaped our holding cell last night, and we don't have any current leads where-”  
“-where he went?” Huang chimed in.  
“actually, where she went.” Benson corrected him as his face internalized it.  
“I see, so you brought me in to give a psych eval to a transwoman?”  
“Yes, but not because she's trans, but because we need to make sure we can put her away. She was the one who captured ADA Montgomery and the others, but her actions lead to them going through that hell...” Liv reeled back her tone.  
“What about that man, Arthur Cutlass?”  
“Yeah, he's in recovery, but he could have embassy people flocking him, we'll have to wait to interview Tomas when we get her. You'll get to evaluate Arthur also.” Finn added as Liv looked at him with her boss eyes.  
“Finn, can you give Huang and I some one on one time?” She asked.  
“Sure thing. I'll let you know if we get anything.” Finn left her office as a confused Huang asked,   
“Why did Finn have to leave?”  
“Because what I'm about to mention to you has to stay between us.” her brown eyes reflected her stern body language.  
“Of course.”  
“Arthur Cutlass is the main guy we want to get- he spent years assaulting members of the wights.”  
Huang's face showcased his confusion, “Wights, like the Irish ghosts?”  
“Yes, they are classified as a terrorist organization in the UK, but Tomas Ives was abused for years by Cutlass...” she paused as she thought about the best way to finish the sentence.  
“Olivia, what is it?” Huang's kind tone gave her the strength to finish her thought,   
“...and so was ADA Montgomery, as a child.”  
Huang sat back in his chair, “I see.”  
“What? That's all you have to say?” Liv questioned him as she fought back the urge to break some small object on her desk.  
“I'll have to evaluate ADA Montgomery as well. If I don't then his defense could argue I was ignoring my scope of investigation.”  
“Huang, she was shot; held captive for nearly a week as Cutlass and the two other men tortured her and the others. She had to endure being man-handled...” A millisecond flash of Lewis grabbing her face and forcing a kiss on her played out in her mind.  
“Olivia?” Huang asked her as she took a breath in and pushed aside her own assault. It had been almost two years since she had been in a similar situation like Quin's but why was her mind flashing back to that now?  
“I'm fine, long week.”  
“Okay.” Huang tried to sell his belief, but she saw right through it.  
“George, honestly, I'm fine, but Quin isn't, she's still recovering from her-”  
“You have no issue with me evaluating a criminal from his hospital bed, but-”  
'-she's the victim...really, with this?”  
“Is she really the only victim?”  
“-of course she-” Liv felt herself beginning to fume at Huang's suggestion that Cutlass himself could be a victim.   
With what he did to Quin, Tomas, countless others, sorry George, I don't think so. She internally shouted as she felt her frustration reaching its peak. She was annoyed, practically irate with him that he was trying to over analyze this and making everyone a victim. It was plain to see who was actually a victim; both Tomas and Arthur were guilty, she just needed to know why.  
“Where are the two men who orchestrated the gauntlet?” Huang inquired as he tried to change the tone of their conversation.  
“They were both killed by Cutlass...”  
“I see. I can stay as long as you like and I'll head over to the hospital to evaluate Arthur now.” Huang got up.  
“Please take Finn or Carisi with you, I don't want a defense attorney thinking you broke protocol.” Liv diplomatically asked him as her phone chimed, “Looks like Cutlass just got up.”  
“I'll head over now.” he gently replied as he made his way to the door.  
“George- Look I know I'm on edge, sorry, I just-”  
“-you want justice, I assure I do too.” he spoke as he left her office as Chief Dodds walked.  
“How is Mike doing?” Liv asked as he sat down across from her.  
“He's doing fine, but won't listen to me. He's constantly at ADA Montgomery's side- won't leave even to rest, I-I...”  
“He's in love with her, and chances are he feels responsible for what happened.” Benson added as she closed her laptop to give him her undivided attention. “Huang is going to evaluate Cutlass right now, he's taking Finn or Carisi with him, protocol.”  
“Good, I want him locked in a concert cell for the rest of his life.” the statement shot out of the chief's mouth through his clenched jaw.  
“That's the plan, we'll get him.”  
“Yeah...” the chief crossed his arms over his chest. “Liv?”  
“Yes?”  
“Did you know that ADA Mont- Quin doesn't have any living relatives?”  
Liv side smiled at him out of nerves and confusion, “I eventually figured it out, it was odd that she never mentioned them, so I had my inklings, but I didn't think it was my place to press her for details. She's a very private person.”  
“Oh...she's just so reserved, it makes me wonder why her and Mike would-”  
“-be good for each other? He'll teach her about family and she'll get him to open up a bit more.” Benson smiled at him.  
The chief chuckled, “Heh, but Mike's always been a go getter, loves people.”  
“-sure.” Benson nodded in mock agreement with him.  
“What do you mean, sure?”  
“Mike is more reserved than you think he is, not nearly as quiet or timid as Quin, but at work he's...”  
“...he's working Liv, he isn't going to be chatting up about his personal life...”  
“I just think that he's still trying to find his place with us.”  
“He knows his place...but,” the chief's eyes softened a bit, “does he like it here, even without Quin?”  
“He does, but I think you should be having this conversation with him instead of me. He is a good fit here and does solid work, but check in with him.”  
He sighed, “I know but I think he's still on edge with the whole me insulting Quin thing- even after I saved her.”  
“It's a good start to mend some fences so to speak, but have them over for dinner, just the two of them or Mike by himself and see how it goes. I just think getting to know her would do you a lot of good, I mean, the way she acted when she was in there with him...”  
“I will have to do that.” the chief softly answered as the weight of Benson's words sunk into him and he stood up. He rasped his fingers on the back of the chair and looked at her.  
“Find Ives, and put this to bed, okay?”  
“I will.” Benson looked at him as her own steadfastness took hold of her.

 

Huang sat in the passenger seat as Finn drove them both back to the hospital to evaluate Cutlass. A stagnant, heavy air sat between them, neither man wanting to initiate the conversation, but finally, Huang broke down first.  
“Look, the Hoda trial-”  
Finn took a moment to steel himself, then said, “That's in the past, we can't change it. George, I just wanna get you there and get Cutlass evaluated, fair?”  
“Okay, you're going to to be comfortable while I evaluate him? You're going to have to be there the entire time since it's outside your precinct.”  
“Yeah, I really don't have much of a choice...there's no way in hell that Carisi--”  
“The younger gentleman, the tall one who was sitting in on ADA Barba during the Hoda trial?” Huang asked as they made their way to the hospital's parking lot.  
“Yeah, that's Carisi, he's alright. He's also Quin's best friend...at least over here that is, hell no one else could do it. Rollins is on bed rest, Carisi is too close, Dodds is--”  
“The one with her in the glass cage?”  
Finn looked away as he parked the car, “Yeah, chief Dodds's eldest son and he's-”  
“-Romantically involved with Quin?”  
“Huang, don't go wrecking her career with--”  
“Odafin,” Huang glanced at him, “I have zero desire to do that. You sure you can handle this eval? You also seem to be too close to this.” Huang assessed him.  
“No, I'm not, look, one minority to another?”  
“Yes?”  
“She's one of the few people I've met before who is just good, even with everything she's been through, she's just here to help. How many white women you know like that, without somethin' else attached to it, like an ulterior motive?”  
“I see...I'll do this as strategically and efficiently as possible.”  
“I said I could handle it.”  
Huang looked at him, “Yes, you did, but I'm not sure you believe yourself, Fin.”  
Both men exited the car and walked into the hospital, making their way towards Cutlass's room. As they walked down the long, fluorescent lit hallway, Huang noticed a tall, red-headed woman pass them in a nurse's uniform. His gut rang out in worry and he made a mental note that this specific nurse was to be remembered. Once Finn got Cutlass's actual room number, they found the exterior guarded by two security officers.  
“Hey guys-” Finn flashed his badge and the men let them into the room. Finn felt his entire body stop, a sudden sense of dread struck him as he made eye contact with Cutlass. His dead looking brown eyes haunted him as Finn noticed he was overweight, with thinning salt and pepper hair skewed about his head. He fought the urge to make a fist and slug him as Huang walked right up to the man and introduced himself.  
“Arthur, my name is Dr. George Huang. I'm here to talk to you, is that alright?”  
Arthur let out a sigh, “She's never going to love me, is she?” the lament clung to the air around him as Huang began to evaluate him.  
“Who is she? Arthur?” Huang asked.  
“My Quinie...I cared for her, loved her, comforted her, and she's left me.”  
“Why do you think she's going to leave you Arthur?” Huang tiled his head to the side, in a friendly manner to examine him.  
“Because she's a stupid, vile whore!” he huffed, “no thanks to that cop she's with.” Arthur spat out as he glared at Finn, “what's he doing here?!”  
Finn fought the urge to roll his eyes.  
“Arthur, this is detective Tutuola, he needs to be here while I talk to you, is that okay?”  
Arthur pouted for a moment, “I guess, I hear that Quinie is here, can I see her, I just need to explain myself to her-”  
“I don't see that happenin'” Finn added as Huang eyed him sternly, his eyes suggesting to Finn to let him handle the situation.  
Huang faced Arthur as he answered, “Maybe later, but not right now, but we do have some questions for you, okay?”  
“Fine...” Arthur's tone slipped back into an impatient snip, “...ask away.”  
“How do you know Quin?”  
“She was brought to my orphanage when she was nine. One of the best days of my life, so vibrant, so smart. The way her face showed shock and awe, like a masterpiece.” a nostalgic sigh left his mouth as he looked up at the ceiling. Huang could sense he was recalling his time with Quin; talking about his time with her was beginning to arouse him and Huang could see it under his blanket.  
“So you and her have a special kind of relationship? Like friends or family?”  
“Yes, of course!” his voice rose as he rambled on, “ she couldn't ever be adopted out, she was my other half, my shining bright star- she wrote so well as a child.”  
“Wrote? What did she write? Poetry or stories?” Huang pressed gently as he examined Arthur's expressions more. “Did you ever act out any of the stories she wrote together?”  
“Sometimes...” he paused like a child being caught in a fib, “...but, but she always wanted too, she loved me and liked it when we were close.” Arthur wrung his hands and his faced blushed.  
Huang took in a breath, trying to keep calm as he listened to Arthur talk about assaulting Quin, “I see...Arthur...was the gauntlet a story?”  
A sickly smile spread over his face, “It was her masterpiece, my favorite of hers.” he pointed at his red jacket, “I still have it, her journal. Its in the top left pocket of my coat.”  
Huang nodded for Finn to check the coat as the detective donned a pair of latex gloves and searched the jacket-in addition to finding a small green journal, he found a rag with blood on it. Finn locked eyes with Arthur and took the rag too. Huang put on a pair of gloves and looked at Arthur, “May I touch it?” he asked as he pointed at the journal.  
“Yes, take a peek, there was so much for me to work with, but I didn't want to stray from her vision.”  
It was frayed with a green cloth cover with numerous types of stains on it. The pages where warped from fluid being spilled on them. Several of the passages were graphic in both text and imagery, it even had a journal component to it for the character the four others had played during the gauntlet. Huang flipped towards the end of the journal and his thumb caught the page of a particularly disturbing passage:

'Even when I survive, the reaper will take me and have me- I can't ever be free, so why try anymore? He'd pluck off my skin, eyes, bones, until he sucks out my soul and devours me. Arthur does that, trying to be what he wants hurts everywhere, but trying to escape him and failing hurts my soul more than just taking him in me.'

“What do you think?” Arthur called out to Huang, who was trying to maintain his composure as he closed the book and looked at Arthur.  
“I think it's sad, Quin was so lonely and she didn't have anyone to talk to, so she wrote these things to think them out.”  
“Harumph, she could have talked to me, but she didn't say much to me when we were on the set. I just wanted her to say she loved me, on the set...she-”  
“The set?”  
“Just a little place where we shot some of the scenes. She loved being in front of a camera.” Arthur cackled as Huang swallowed the bile rising in his throat.  
“Scenes, which ones did you shoot together?”  
“All of them,” Arthur grinned, “the gauntlet was the last one we did together...but we didn't finish all of it, that's why I came here, those two dolts were messing it up, and I figured out what was missing...”  
“And what was that?” Finn demanded.  
“Me...the reaper had been left out...”  
“Arthur...are you the reaper?” Huang forced himself to finish the question.  
“Guilty as charged!” the sadist let the words leap out of his mouth with glee as he tried to clap his cuffed hands together.  
Huang handed the book back to Finn, who put it into an evidence bag. “That's all I need to talk to you about for now Arthur, but we will talk again soon.”  
“Dr. Huang?” a childlike glee rang in his voice still, as if he knew he had beaten Huang.  
“Yes?”  
“Can you ask Quinie how she's doing, now that we had a chance to bond again?” the light in his eyes shimmered as Huang closed his eyes for second to center himself.  
“That's not something I can ask now, but perhaps later.”  
“Ok, we'll talk again soon...” Arthur sat up in his bed and grinned.  
Finn and Huang left the room and the guards flanked either side of the door once more. They made their way pass earshot of him and Huang bent over and dry heaved as Finn stared at him, unsure of what to do.  
“Huang, you alright?”  
“He...he shows no remorse for what he's done, his child like demeanor is just for show, as if its a security blanket he clutches psychically when he feels like he has the upper hand. He's a sadist, pure and simple and for years he was able to torture Quin and get away with it...he can't this time...”  
“Please tell me we can actually put this guy away.” Finn exasperated as Huang slowly stood backup and they began to walk down the hallway again.  
“Yes, I have what I need for my evaluation, but I need to evaluate Quin, for her own sake.”  
“Yeah...let's get you back to the precinct...”  
“Okay.” Huang replied as he saw the same red headed woman walk into Arthur's room. The dread sat heavy in his chest as he walked away.

 

Munch stood outside her suite and held his discharge papers in his hand. He wanted to know how she was doing, how Dodds was, but an intangible force pushed him away from entering her room. He was about to continue walking by but was spotted by a much healthier looking Cassidy, whose only sign of being injured was a sling for his right arm. He would be discharged tomorrow, but it was obvious to Munch he was biting at the bit to leave as he skimmed their surroundings with his eyes.  
“So...we good?” Cassidy asked him as Munch turned his head towards the direction of his voice.  
“We are, but define good, Brian.”  
“Munch, I...” Cassidy shuffled his feet as his eyes looked down at them, “I seriously thought you were dead, I thought that you were gone and I'd never see you again. I mean, we're partners and...”  
Munch let out a sigh, “I understand, but I can't help but thinking back to the fact that he caught her because she was shot. Would she even have been able to run away without being shot, she was so far gone, we all were...”  
“I hear you, I do, but...she just got in the way of the shot, she took one for him...that's love.”  
“It is...makes you think that it still exists out there somewhere, for all of us.” a forlorn look came over Munch's face. “Look, maybe early retirement is in your cards...go live up state, see the rest of New York and really find yourself? I know it's been rough for you with what happened to Liv two years ago, but Brian, you need to think about an exit...”  
Both men stopped talking as they saw a lanky detective walking over towards them.  
“Munch, how are yah--” Carisi started to greet Munch as he saw Cassidy next to him.  
“You...” the coldness in his voice froze Munch in place as Carisi's body language changed. The happy go lucky aura he usually presented with, even during tough cases, was gone and replaced with the fury of a blizzard. Carisi clutched the flowers in his hand so hard that they began to bend over his white knuckles.  
“Detective-” Munch finally got out as Carisi stood right in front of Cassidy; his blue eyes stabbing him as Cassidy straightened his posture.  
“Look, I...” Cassidy stopped as Carisi grabbed him by the collar.  
“Stay. Away.” he commanded as he was about to drop Cassidy, but Quin's suite door opened and the now mobile ADA was looking at them. She had finally been able to get a change of clothes thanks to Carmen having a spare set of her apartment keys and Barba giving her a moment to get them for her. A loose fitting fleece tunic and leggings with a single crutch under her arm completed her look. The crutch was supporting some of her weight as she took a tentative step closer to them. Her feet were covered with a pair of flat, yet comfy looking boots with a flat bottom that made walking a bit easier for her.  
“What's going on here?” she asked them as Carisi gradually let go of Cassidy's shirt collar and Munch tucked his papers into his trench coat.  
“We're good,” Cassidy answered as he straightened his sling and eyed Carisi, “I was about to leave...” he began to turn away from her, but she reached out with her arm and gently grasped his fore arm.  
Munch looked at Quin's eyes and couldn't have mistaken their message.  
“Cassidy, I forgive you.” she said as she looked him in the eyes.  
He stood perfectly still, “You...?”  
“We were all put in an extremely difficult situation and ignoring that only makes the situation that much more intense.”  
“Quin, you can't be serious?!” Carisi nearly growled into her ear as he moved to her side, “He shot you!”  
Quin broke her gaze away from Cassidy and looked at her friend, “Yes, I am. He did that only because he thought that Munch was dead. I just want to get better and move on from all of this.” she answered them as she began to make her way down the hall. Her left arm was in a sling like Cassidy's right, which meant that she was using the crutch in her right armpit, which meant her right ankle was taking the brunt of her movements. Munch watched Carisi follow her down the hall and then looked at Cassidy who was visibly shaken by her words.  
“I...I don't get it, how can she forgive me?” his voice gently asked as he took in a breath and exhaled. His body shook a bit from the chilly hallway air.  
“You heard her, she just wants to move on from this. I don't really know what else to say.” Munch ran a hand through his hair, “If she's moving on from it, we should too. Forcing her to repeat her desires is just as torturous...”  
“What that monster did to her...it's like what happened with Liv, she shut off wanting to deal with it, like, if it wasn't there right in front of her, she had no desire to talk about it. It made helping her so frustrating...” Cassidy made himself look at Munch, “...this could have gone down completely different if I didn't shoot her, like you said earlier...”  
“Yeah, about that, he could have killed all of us, I was angry...it wasn't right to take it out on you...I just...”  
“Seeing her struggle, it's makin' you think of every horrible case you dealt with before you went inspector on us.” Cassidy saw the look on Munch's face, “What, inspector does sound cooler than sergeant, seriously.”  
“Always trying to play it cool, huh kid?” Munch replied as he saw the pain on his partner's face, how his eyes were trying to hold back years of horrid memories and scenarios that didn't need to come out to play in the wasteland of his emotional stability. Not today. He knew it was the main reason he left SVU, and not just because Liv had dumped him, twice.  
Cassidy again tried to play it cool, “Yeah...look I've gotta get some rest, I didn't sleep well last night, pillow was too scratchy.”  
Munch reached out and patted him on the back, “Sure it was, c'mon guy, let's get you some rest.”  
“John?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You don't hate me...with this?”  
Munch contemplated the best answer he could give, which only came once he stopped overthinking it in his mind, “I don't hate you, I hate what was done to us, I hate that someone young whose already felt so much of the world's hatred and crap had to endure it again. I can't even being to really explain what I hate the most...but you aren't on that list, even if you sleep with one of my exes, you still aren't on that list.”  
Cassidy felt a sliver of a smile make it on to his face, “Good.”

 

“I just want to get better and move on from this.” Quin stated as she started to walk away from Munch and Cassidy. Both men had been kind to her during her time in the gauntlet, she wasn't angry at them, they didn't violate her. Arthur did.   
It was suffocating; between the invasion of privacy from her nurses and doctors, to keeping mindful of Mike's emotional needs and supporting him, to trying to see the best possible future with him while living with him, and now her realizing what she had told Carisi before she passed out,

“Cassidy...he...shot...okay...”

She longed for a mental respite from worrying about the needs of others, yet a pang of shame and guilt over doing so, just focusing on her own needs, jabbed at her heart.  
Is it really fair for me to focus on me? I mean, Mike got shot twice, I can already walk, so I should be giving him more attention...it's not right that I think about myself when he needs me to...  
Her strongest suit was caring for others, thinking about just herself felt like such an indulgence that she didn't have the emotional currency to pay out.   
Carisi strolled up next to her and looked at her. She could feel his eyes piercing through her, trying to analyze her with his empathic sense as he started to plead his case.  
“He needs to pay for what he's done Quin! You can't just absolve him of this like some kind of Lady Pope!” the passion in his tone struck at her heart; if giving him what he needed to see made more people happy, it was selfish for her to absolve Cassidy of his crime.   
But was it a crime? His intent was never truly there in the moment, even I couldn't argue that it was... her mind mused as she continued to walk without looking at him. One glance into her best friend's eyes and her emotions would be flung into the turbulent sea of his soul, unable to break free from wave after wave of anger, hurt, and disappointment.  
“Sonny, he's paying in a very immaterial way, we all are- Mike's still beating himself up for shooting Munch, he's been loosing sleep over it, and I'm...” she stopped moving and felt Arthur's hands on her body, then Mike's, then the sensations pieced together. Who was which set of touches? Her crutch fell to the floor as she went down on her knees and closed her eyes.  
“Quin? Quin, can you hear me?!” Carisi panicked as he knelt beside her and, his hands gently resting on her right shoulder.  
She could hear him but the auditory distortion from the air around her vanishing and being replaced with cement made it hard. It was like listening to loud music two or three rooms over, you could get the gist of the tune but the melody, the clarity was absent. Her exhaled breaths were ragged as her wrists felt the handcuffs biting into them.  
“I love you.” Mike's gentle voice purred into her ear as she felt herself sitting at her desk, his warm, large hands resting on her shoulders as she worked on a brief and he watched over her.  
“I've missed you, Quinie...” Arthur's voice shoved itself into her ears, just as her mouth recalled his tongue ramming itself into hers. She heard herself gag as Carisi grabbed a tissue and she put it to her mouth, her body seizing up, freezing her into a playback of those memories. Her body felt the cold water lapping against her skin, the icy feeling rising up to her thighs. She shook her head and mouthed 'no...no' as Carisi pulled her close and held her as the spell passed. The nightmarish sounds, touches, and sights left her as she took in several deep breaths.  
“Hey...Hey...shush...” Carisi calmed her as he stroked her head.  
“Quin?” Mike called out as the sound of his wheelchair brought her back to the hospital completely. She looked at him, the way his eyes watered up with held back tears, she had to be stronger. She wasn't being good enough for him, she was failing.  
Just like she had failed holding back with Arthur's fingers inside her.  
Just like she had failed hiding the pain, again.  
Mike held her close to him as she got up and began to crash into him, letting out long suppressed and buried sobs of pain.  
I have to stop, he can't see this...I can't stop, it hurts so badly... her mind wrestled as she wailed more, unable to hide how years of abuse crushed her when she stopped being strong enough. A nurse rushed over to them and Carisi stood between Quin and her.  
“What in the hell is going on here?” the nurse demanded as she looked behind Carisi.  
“She's working through some stuff, she had a terrifying experience...she's...” his sadness played out on his face and she barged past him and went over to Quin.  
“Ma'am, we've gotta get you to calm down...” she tersely said to Quin, who was inconsolable.  
Mike didn't have words; there was not a single answer or comment that came to him, and Carisi felt sorry for him.  
“Please...don't touch me...” Quin sobbed as the nurse carefully reached for her waist. The memory of Arthur lifting her to the bathroom rippled through her and she pushed away from the nurse.  
“Security!” the nurse bellowed as Quin took a few steps and collapsed before the guards.  
“Hey, hey, leave her be!” Carisi countered as he started to help Quin up but was shoved back by the guards.  
“Take her to the psych ward, I'm getting the doctor on duty to put her in a lockdown...something ain't right about this...” the nurse started at Carisi and Mike.  
“Lockdown?! Are you out of you're--” Mike shouted.  
“Do not finish that sentence, because if you do, you'll be there too and you two won't be in some honeymoon suite, I can promise you that.” the tense tone in the nurse's voice stuck with both men as Quin was taken away from them, softly weeping and trying to resist the guards touching her.  
Carisi scrambled for his cellphone and called Barba.   
“Barba, it's me-I need you to call me back- Quin had some kind of a breakdown and they're moving her to a psych ward!”

 

Huang sat once more in Benson's office and skimmed over the notes he had finally been able to make after several minutes of mentally digesting his evaluation of Arthur Cutlass. His normal routine allowed him to evaluate, write, and compose his thoughts in an organized manner, but with the profoundly disturbing aura which permeated Arthur lingered in his own mind and soul as he finally found a starting point to recap his experience.  
“I've never seen a complete lack of remorse coupled with the desire to control another person on such a multifaceted scale before.”  
Benson and chief Dodds looked at him with perplexed eyes. The chief had his arms crossed and brows furrowed, Benson on the other hand had laced fingers before her, resting on her desk. Neither one of them liked his summation, but summations were not to be enjoyed, they were the truth laid before them.  
The file's 'thud' echoed in the office air as chief Dodds finally began to speak.  
“So, what? This Arthur guy gets a free pass because he's able to make you think he's nuts?” the chief huffed out of anger and confusion.  
“Hardly,” Huang began while he gave Benson a look, “he's a control freak to the T, he needs order and purity in his life.”  
“Purity?” Benson asked.  
“He made several comments about Quin's...sexual life and none of them were positive. He was absorbed by the idea she had been intimate with other men, and that she was ruined, yet he still has a profound need to possess her.”  
“Is it enough to put him in prison?” the chief grumbled.  
“Yes, he shouldn't be able to interact with any children and I have reason to believe that he values gifted children, he said Quin came to his orphanage when she was around 9 or so, that's around the time that some gifted children begin seek out knowledge. It wouldn't surprise me if he gate-kept knowledge from her.”  
“How would he be able to do that? From what Barba got from her CV back in England, she was the top of her class...” Benson's sentence was cut down by Finn entering her office.  
“Sorry to interrupt, but they've put Quin in a psych ward, on some seventy two hour lockdown nonsense, Carisi just called me after he called Barba. He's freakin' out.”  
“Psych ward?! When I left she was resting, she was fine!” the chief uttered as Huang and Benson sprang into action.  
“Where are you two-”  
Huang turned around on his heels and replied, “I can get in and talk to her, let me do that-”  
“And hand the defense a slam dunk, no thanks-”  
Huang stood firm as the chief's insult struck him, “I've read his file and hers, the one that was given to me by your ADA. I won't be handing over evidence to just anyone.” he looked at Benson to drive home his point, “I maybe a consultant now, but I do have a conscience and if you two knew what she's been through...”  
“I have an idea or two, that gauntlet thing-” the chief got out through his clenched jaw.  
“-is just the tip of the iceberg she's hidden all her life.” Huang countered as he matched eyes with the chief.”  
“George, let's go.” Benson gently touched his shoulder as he nodded. Both of them left the chief to ruminate alone in her office.  
Why her Mike...why her?

 

Tomas sat down on Arthur's bed and stared at him. The harsh lighting from the fluorescent lights gave his skin a clammy look and forced her to flash back to the set- scenery popped into her mind and she shuddered. Her mind then leaped to when she first met Arthur. She had been a runaway, her parents didn't get that she was a girl and not a boy, so she went off in search of someone who could get it. After several months of homelessness and icy sleeping spots, she found a man who wanted to take care of her and got her. He got her to do positions in his bed. First, it was just the two of them and if she didn't linger of how much it hurt, it was okay, it was warmer their than outside, but then his friends would come over and watch, and then get into the bed. Eventually the man left and his friends would find new positions for her. All of them hurt.  
She honestly believed that meeting Arthur was going to change the hurt, the pain all over her being, but it didn't. The pain just got worse.  
Arthur's chest rose and the pen Tomas has stolen from the nurse she had beaten up for her uniform hung around her neck. It was just slender enough to go right into this trachea and with the right force behind it, kill him.  
I could end our nightmare right here, right now. She'd have to love me then, I'd save her from a long and excruciatingly painful trial...right? Tomas thought as she uncapped the pen and gripped it. The metal exterior felt cool against her palm, chilling her fingers as they wrapped around it. She inhaled and looked around to see if the shorter asian man who'd been talking to Arthur was still within earshot or not.  
No one else was near them. The timing was perfect.  
“That would not be in our best interests, nurse.” Patrice said as she appeared in the doorway, arms crossed and dressed like a nurse as well.  
Tomas lowered the pen in her hand and clipped it back into the pen cap hanging around her neck. Patrice stepped into the room while she cleared her throat and closed the door behind her.  
“So this sack of crap is Arthur? They always look less terrifying in a hospital bed.” her flat toned voice irritated Tomas  
“What are you doing here?!” Tomas demanded, “I thought I told you to take care of Declan!”  
“Declan did nothing wrong, he-”  
“-he knew where Quin was and didn't even tell us!” the ginger haired woman hissed at her.  
“Why does it matter, you sold her to those men and suddenly it becomes his fault that you regret your actions?” Patrice's voice rose slightly as her hazel eyes flashed at Tomas.  
“The moment I found out they were with Cutlass, that's when I regretted my actions- he shouldn't have had a chance to work with her...”  
“Then take me off trailing Declan, who, I'm sure has noticed at this point, and let's finish him off. He's the root of your nightmares, he's the one who brought all of this suffering into being. End it.” Patrice's tone stood firm as her body went rigid.  
“Hah! You're jealous of her, even when we was with us you hate the time that I spent with her, you jealous twat...!” Tomas spat out.  
“Fine...” Patrice eyes sold her out, “I did hate the time you spent with her because of that fact that it was wasted on her. You love her, but she's head over heels in love with that sergeant, she is his now. You. Lost. Her.”  
“SHUT UP!” Tomas screamed as she heard a set of footsteps clamoring down the hallway. “Crap!” she said as she knelt down below Arthur's bed. Patrice quickly got into the small closet and shut the door behind her. Both women peeked and saw another nurse come in and check Arthur's stats. After a minute or so, the nurse left and the coast was clear.  
“Phew...” Tomas said as Patrice exited the closet, “Close one.”  
“You're telling me, so what to do with this dirty old bastard?” Patrice's question bringing them back into focus.  
“Let's kill him...fuck it!”  
“I don't think that's gonna be happening Tomas!” Benson shouted as she, along with two other body guards surrounded the women. Huang looked at the red headed woman.  
It's her, from earlier...  
The heart rate monitor on Arthur began to beep.  
“What did you inject him with Tomas?!” Benson pressed Tomas as Tomas grabbed the pen and held it like a dagger.  
“I didn't inject him with anything...”  
“I don't believe you!” Benson cried out as she held her gun out in front of her.  
“Fine, Morphine, why do you care?! He hurt Quinie and me for so long- I'm doing humanity a favor!” Tomas lunged at Benson who countered her attack and knocked her down to the ground. Tomas squirmed under Benson's body and Patrice picked up the pen Tomas had brandished. She found the best moment to strike at Benson, but Huang tripped her, allowing the two other guards to subdue her.  
“Tomas Ives, Patrice Ortiz, you're under arrest for assault, attempted murder...” Benson continued reading both women their Miranda rights and she along with the two other guards left as doctors flooded the room. Huang moved out of their way, taking in the calamity as they worked diligently to reverse the effect of the Morphine.  
After a couple of moments, Arthur cutlass took in a single, loud gasp of air, becoming reanimated like a zombie  
Should I have pressed the call button?

 

Munch and Carisi stood outside the entrance to the psych ward, which gave them a view into the area Quin was being held. Both men saw her unconscious body laying on the sterile bed covered with a thin hospital blanket. Carisi held back the urge to curse out Munch for trying to hide what Cassidy had done to her during the gauntlet from everyone else, but he knew Munch didn't know it was he that Quin had confessed to. He felt his hands go into fists as a nurse walked in and checked in on her. Carisi nearly shouted as the nurse carelessly picked up Quin's arms by the wrist and made notes about the handcuff markings around them. The disrespect of her injuries made Carisi take in a deep breath and focus.  
She wouldn't want you to fuming out here, she'd tell you that nurse is just doing her job and that she sees hundreds of people like her every day and has to analyze them. She'd have you focus on the fact that the nurse isn't intentionally being rude. Carisi thought as Munch looked at him. Both men caught the others glance.  
“Detective Carisi, right?”  
“Save it sergeant, I don't wanna hear you go on about how Cassidy's your friend and all that nonsense.” he took in another breath as Munch's face didn't change expression, “I respect you, what you've done for SVU, but...” his emotions splashed about his mouth, turning his words into a slush, “...she's my friend, my...” the young man's blue eyes nearly watered so quickly that he wiped them and sniffed.  
“Sonny...” the hardness in Munch's face left.  
“You don't get to call me that, okay? Ever.” Carisi's voice went cold. “She could be far better off than where she's at if Cassidy hadn't lost it!” his voice projected his rage perfectly as he saw Munch take a step back.  
The elder inspector crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, “I don't disagree with you there, believe me, but hating me and him doesn't undo this. You want to know what does help? Putting Cutlass away, she deserves that. You're a stand up guy, I mean that detective, but direct your hate towards-”  
Munch stopped mid sentence as the nurse who had been examining Quin came over to them and broke into their conversation.  
“Father, brother, right, so she'll be under watch for the next 70 hours or so. She had a pretty traumatic breakdown in the hallway, so we're having her rest until a psychologist can evaluate her.” the nurse left them with her succinct assessment as Carisi looked at Munch.  
“Is there anyway we can get in there and see her?” Carisi asked him, with his eyes starting to show their tears again.  
“Not a chance I'm afraid, the perception is that we'd influence her, which could make them think that something is actually wrong with her...outside of...”  
“You can't really think she's not right in the head? Seriously, John?” Carisi uttered.  
“I thought we weren't going by first names, detective.” Munch stoically answered.  
“Look, she's brilliant, she can't have a mental issue...she's so smart it's like the...”  
“Gonna stop you right there, smart people can have mental issues like the rest of us. What I was trying to speak to was that if we even entertain the thought of going in there, they could think the breakdown was related to us, and not to...”  
“...Cutlass.” Carisi finished his thought as he stiffened his body. Anything, anything in the entire world to figure out what room he was in, and to be left alone with him for five minutes. Angry Sonny would come out and end him. “Seriously...God, Mike's gonna loose it once he knows she's actually been put into a hold. He's been through so much...and so have you, you know.”  
Munch let a sliver of smile find a home on his face, “I do know, but you've been worry about her like you actually are her brother. I take it you have at least one sister?”  
“Three...”  
“Yikes.”  
“Yeah, don't remind me. How are you not freaking out about this?” Carisi wondered.  
“I am freaking out about this, but her inner strength will get her through this, if not, she has a very good friend in you.”  
“Thanks, Munch.” Carisi genuinely felt better.  
Munch shifted his weight to his other foot, “I'm going to head back to Cassidy's room, and for the record, he does feel like the worst person in the world over it. He never intended-”  
“Yeah,” Carisi answered him as he watched the older man turn around and start to head back. He shifted his focus back to watching Quin sleep, never letting up his position.  
“You're gonna make it. I promise.” Carisi whispered to himself as he continued at his post.


	17. Dialogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words between lovers, friends, and enemies. All of them are needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading everyone! Please feel free to leave Kudos or a comment, I do enjoy the feedback.
> 
> Also feel free to add me on tumblr: ladyzootie

“Seventy two hour psych hold?! What the bloody hell for?!” Ronnie shouted at Sergeant Dodds, who was back in his bed with his father by his side, once more under his near constant watch.  
Ronnie had gone to Quin's room and noticed it was vacant, so he recalled the sergeant mentioning his room was only down the hall from hers, and found it.  
Mike looked at Ronnie, “She wasn't feeling well, and got overwhelmed and it's a huge mess-misunderstanding...she's in there for another 68 hours-”  
The chief looked at his son, “You're actually counting it down, Jesus Mike...”  
Ronnie saw the fire blaze bright in Mike's eyes as the young man replied.  
“Yes, I am. The moment we both can get out of here, I plan on-”  
“-What? Mike, she needs long term therapy, and I'm not talking about physical therapy. That's a stigma that'll take some time for her to shake, its-”  
“-are you insinuating that I not be by her side through this?! That I leave her?!” Mike fumed at his father. Ronnie sense this was new for the chief since his face showed total confusion about his son's reaction.  
“Mike, think about your-” the chief tried to rebuttal, but Mike plowed over his words,  
“-If you say career, I will lose it! I don't care about my damn career, I care about her-”  
The chief stared down at his son, “Do not put all your eggs in a basket! You aren't thinking long term, she'll have to re-earn any semblance of a professional career to be taken seriously again. Barba isn't going to put his ass on the line to let her crawl back up from the pit she'll be in.”  
“Screw you! You have no idea how dedicated she is, how hard she fights every day to do the right thing...heh, you wouldn't, you couldn't even entertain the thought of...” Mike caught himself as the chief glared at him.  
“You really wanna make this about her being a woman? Seriously? Mike, she's been through some stuff...and I don't know if all of it happened when she was in there with you.”  
Mike looked away, “Unbelievable, you think she's damaged goods...screw you...”  
Ronnie saw the hurt build up in Mike's face and felt the time to jump into the conversation was now.  
“Why do you doubt her even though you can see what she's worked through?” he asked the chief, who shot up and looked at him. Ronnie took a second to relish in the fact he was taller than the chief, forcing the man to look up at him, like a child looking up to an adult.  
“I meant no disrespect, but in all fairness, this situation-” the chief's blue eyes sparked as Ronnie stared down at him.  
“-is one of many she has handled pretty damn well if you ask me. Did he even tell you that she's been a barrister for over a decade before coming over here? That she regularly put away horrific human beings for crimes I'd really rather not describe to you? Goodness sakes man, she doesn't fit your mould for who he should be with and you just wanna toss her aside now that this has happened?” Ronnie felt his own paternal instincts kicking into overdrive.  
“I...I meant no disrespect...” the chief fumbled with his words, as Mike watched Ronnie verbally school his father.  
“Candidly, I get that you aren't too keen on her, and for the life of me, I can't get why. She's an asset to the crown and to New York, in fact, I hate to even bring this up, but I will. I came here to offer her a senior CP position back in London.” Ronnie saw the look in their faces, both of them stunned and unable to think of a response.  
“Would she take it?” Mike asked as he looked down at his bandaged hand. “I mean...I can't blame her if she did...”  
“Good God Mike, I'm not going to ask her, I'm not a monster. She's setting down roots here with you, I respect her enough not to ask her to do that. Besides, the pay increase wouldn't be enough to make the offer tempting to her, even without you in the picture.”  
Mike nodded and looked up at his father who was glancing at him, “I can't leave her and I won't. You can shun me from every family function and loose your ability to brag about me, I don't care, so I am going to continue to count down the hours until I can see her again.”  
The chief huffed as his son's words stabbed him, “Fine.” he took his suit jacket and stormed out of the room. Mike's eyes followed his father as he left, but then returned to Ronnie who was sitting next to his bed.  
“Thanks for that, I don't exactly get-” Mike began.  
“-you're the eldest son, right?” Ronnie finished the sentence with a question as a knowing smile appeared onto his face.  
Mike sighed, “Yes, the eldest son. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.”  
“His stupidity comes from a place of love, that I can assure you on.”  
“Really?” Mike sarcastically asked.  
“I'm a father too you know, and let's just say that you do stupid stuff when you want to raise your kids right. You can't help it. You'll figure it out, if you ever want to have kids that is.”  
“Please,” Mike began as he shifted his weight in his bed to get more comfortable, “don't get me started on kids. If he rushes back in here and we're talking kids, he'll ignore me for a month since I wasn't bringing the hypothetical news of being a father to him first.”  
“Doesn't really seem like a punishment, does it?” Ronnie got out as they both chuckled. “Look Mike, a bit of advice from an old British dad?”  
“Anything, Ronnie.”  
“You make her happy, 'cause that all she wants to do for you. I have two daughters, and I know that look when I see it, and it's the first and maybe the last time I'll ever see it on her face, in her eyes, when she looks at you.”  
Mike took in a breath, “It's all I wanna do, besides have a successful career with SVU.” a trace of a blush crossed on to his face.  
“Good, 'cause I can't afford the flight over here if I have to knock some sense into you, but I will take up a collection and she has made some powerful allies back in London with some hefty connections. Heck, I'll get Jake on it and we'd have the money in a good hour or so.”  
“Jake, like Jacob Thorne?” Mike asked as his face showed him trying to recall the name.  
“Jacob Thorne, current lead London CP. He was her boss before she came here, he's kinda the anglo-saxon version of your Barba fellow. She learned a few good things from him, but he has horrible interpersonal skills...outside the bedroom that is.”  
“Oh...so he wants Quin back.” the worry on Mike's face expanded through out his body, as Mike tried to hide his concern for her.  
“He does, he's missed his little crystal ball. It was Jake's idea to get her to come back to London, but he'll have to just work harder to figure out what the defense is planning in his cases. He'll have to keep missing her, she's got you know.” Ronnie stood up and was about to leave when Mike grabbed his wrist.  
“Thanks, again...I appreciate it Ronnie.”  
Ronnie smiled as he put his hand atop Mike's, “You're her bloke, and therefore my bloke to watch over until she gets out of there. We aren't family-family, but we're family. And yes, I would adopt a thirty plus year old woman to make it official.” he chuckled.  
“How long are you going to stay?”  
“Until she's better and you're better, you do that for family.” Ronnie matter of factly replied as Mike smiled.  
“Is there any way to get her out of the psych hold?”  
Ronnie's eyes lit up as he was smacked with a revelation, “Bloodly hell, me! When she was in the UK, I was her medical proxy...can that be used in here?”  
The passion returned to Mike's eyes, “You've gotta try, please...”  
“Okay, let me see what I can do. I don't know how it works in these places since you don't have the NHS, but I'll try.”  
Ronnie left the room and saw out of the corner of his eye that Mike was trying to relax.  
Poor lad...really loves her. I'll do my best Mike

 

Carisi paced back and forth before Barba's desk, still wearing last night's clothes. He was clad in a pair of jeans and a henley shirt which was form fitting. It had been a rough nights sleep but he felt slightly more alert than previously.  
“Sonny...stop pacing, it's making my feet hurt.” Barba asked as his right hand supported he had and the left bringing more coffee to his mouth to drink. He was on his third cup in the last two hours, and even though he was beginning to get jittery, he had to be awake for court later on in the day.  
Sonny sat down across from him; those blue eyes begging and pleading with him to figure out what to do with this situation. His underling was now in a psych hold, and he felt guilty about it. If he had actually been able to keep her safe, she wouldn't have broken down and been put away, in god knows what kind of psych ward and she'd be here, working a Saturday so he could have one off with Sonny.  
Barba's eyes caught the clock, from when Carisi had told him she had been placed in one, she had another 50 some odd hours to go.  
“Rafi, they aren't treating her right in there, I just get a hunch about it. The nurse doing her intake paperwork was abrasive, and the way the were just looking at the cuff marks on her wrists and taking notes, I don't feel good about it at all.”  
“Sonny, the only way we can really get her out of there is to either find her medical proxy, or to get Huang to evaluate her and clear her.  
“Huang is just gonna make her relive all that mess again, she doesn't need that-”  
“And you think she won't have to relive it during trial? There is no way I'm going to be able to cut a deal with Cutlass's embassy people. They'll just sweep this under the rug so it doesn't become an international mess...if that's even possible.”  
“There has to be something we can do, something besides just waiting...she's gotta be stir-crazy in there.” Sonny stood back up and began to pace again.  
Barba pulled out Quin's file and skimmed through the paperwork, “Yes, she does have a proxy listed, one Ronnie Brooks...who is a detective in London...of course. This is why I don't hire orphans...” Barba trailed off as Sonny shot him a dirty look.  
“Oh shush, I'm joking. Since the odds of us finding Ronnie are slim to none, I'm going to have Huang head over there and evaluate her. Chances are he's already beaten us to it, who knows if he's working with the defense this week or not.” barba snarked as Carisi held back another dirty look.  
“Look, Huang did what he thought was right, I don't agree with it, but I can respect it.”  
“That makes one of us-” barba saw the hurt in Carisi's eyes.  
No need to make him hate me too...but damn, Liv could have chosen anyone else, why in the hell would she go crawling back to Huang on this?  
“-I know, shush, shush, but I just wanna get Quin back to a good place, with work, with home, and with the sarge.”  
Barba smiled, “You're a good friend, Sonny.”  
Carisi stopped in his tracks and walked over to Barba, and planted a tender kiss on his forehead.  
“and an even better lover.” Barba finished his thought as Carisi held him close and smiled. This, this moment was well worth the stress and frustration of his current situation. Barba looked up at Sonny,   
“Sonny, go be with her. Chances are you'll run into Huang and maybe he'll have you sit in on the eval.”  
“Okay, I will. Rafi?” Sonny asked as he looked into barba's eyes.  
“Yes?”  
“We're gonna get her out of there, right?”  
Barba sighed, “We're going to give it our all.”  
Sonny paused and then said, “Okay, that I can live with.” and then walked out of the door.  
“That makes one of us...” Barba confessed to the empty office around him.

Her bed felt lumpier compared to the one she had been resting on. Her left shoulder was feeling a bit better and her sling was still in place. Quin felt that her body wasn't being restrained as she thought about moving out of bed.  
Chances are they thought the drugs would keep me here, they weren't wrong about that.  
Her thoughts were interrupted by an elderly nurse coming into her room with a large plastic cart.  
“Oh good, you're finally awake sweetie!” the older woman's enthusiasm slapped Quin wide awake. Her uniform wasn't like the other nurses on this floor, it was more casual looking but that didn't seem to take away the sense of importance the woman got from her work.  
“Thank you.” Quin replied, her voice felt dry and stretched.   
How loudly did I scream...for that matter, what day is it?  
She coughed, and soon the woman was by her side with a bottle of water, already uncapped. Quin smiled and took a large gulp of it. She knew she was hooked up to an IV machine for the first day or so of being in the hospital, but she felt so parched and the water felt so refreshing. She handed the water bottle back to the woman, who recapped it and placed it back on to the cart.  
“Tell me, do you have a change of clothes? It's so drafty in here and I can't stay warm.” Quin asked her as the woman turned her attention back towards her.  
“That's why I'm here dear, you need to get a nice hot bath and get all cleaned up. A Dr. Huang is going to interview you.” the woman answered as she helped Quin get back up and handed her the crutch in the corner of the room.  
“Thank you again. If you don't mind me asking, you aren't wearing the standard nurse uniform...”  
“I'm a nurse's aide, here in the psych ward- its more like a volunteer program, but I was a nurse several years ago, so I know my stuff.” the woman tactfully replied as she walked over to her cart and pushed it out of the room. Quin stood still for a moment, waiting to see what she should be doing when the woman called out to her and Quin felt compelled to move towards the sound of her voice.  
Soon she was outside of her room and the woman smiled at her.  
“This way, the bathroom is this way. It's a little bit old fashioned, but with your shoulder injury, it's the best way to get you clean without weirding you out with a sponge bath.”  
She made her way down the hallway and her body pricked with the observation that her room was visible in the same manner that she could look into the rooms of the other patients. Her feet, clad with a pair of stiff slippers slapped the tile floor with every step she took. As she kept moving the nurse walked next to her, pushing her cart as she smiled at her. Quin turned her head to the left and nearly collapsed to the ground as a heavy set man slammed his body against the glass window of his room repeatedly while crying out in an intelligible bunch of gibberish. The nurse's aide helped her stand back up and handed her the crutch again and Quin stood back up as the woman called out to the man.  
“Samson, you hush!”  
Two men rushed over and barged into his room, subduing him. Quin kept moving but not without seeing the guards viciously beating the man, who was clearly mentally handicapped, into submission. She found it too challenging to simply look away as the aide's voice broke into her ears,  
“Oh don't you worry,” she started, “most days they don't beat him that long, he's really starting to learn to control himself.”  
Quin took in a sharp breath, “oh..” she got out as she felt her chest tighten up.  
They could beat him senseless and get away with it. Focus on getting out of here and mind you p's and q's, she assured herself as they got to the bathroom door.  
“This is my stop, you'll have to fend for yourself. It's a fully functioning bathtub and I'll be outside if you do need any help. You just have to make sure not to get your bandages wet.” the woman handed her a change of clothes and held the door open as Quin made her way into the bathroom.  
“Thanks.”  
“You're welcome.”  
The door shut behind Quin as she placed the clothes on the edge of the bathtub and rested the crutch against the wall adjacent to the door.   
“Um...” Quin got out as she noticed the door had no lock on it. “...the door has no lock...”  
“-Oh I'll stay out here the entire time, I can do that.”  
Quin closed her eyes as she felt her body shake at the idea of zero privacy but mustered a weak, “Okay, thanks” as she took in her surroundings.  
It was clean and sanitary, but the off white color of the tub and the tiles didn't sit well with her. The tub was almost too clean, devoid of any soap scum visible to the naked eye.  
A full length mirror was on the wall behind her and she tried in vain not to look at herself in it. She took off the sling slowly and began to remove the sweatpants and shirt they put her in upon her intake. She couldn't recall what exactly happened after they had ripped her from Mike's embrace, but a fuzzy moment played in her mind. Quin could feel the guard's hands grasping at her arms, forcing them down at her sides as a nurse grabbed her jaw harshly and shoved a couple of orange colored pills into her mouth. Soon the memory faded and she turned towards the mirror.   
Her body was a collection of bruises and scrapes from her time in the gauntlet; several bandages covered her left shoulder as she skimmed over her own body with her eyes. Bruises were painted on to her skin, leaving an outline of where she had been slammed, groped, and punched. Some of the bruises were turning yellow and blue, signs they were healing, but as she stripped off her underwear, she saw just above her bikini line, a hand shaped bruise.  
His bruise. The last mark he left on her. She felt his fingers thrusting into her again and shook her head as she wrapped her right arm around her chest. Quin recalled begging the universe to kill her and couldn't comprehend why it didn't answer her plea, as she stepped out of her underwear and stood before the mirror stark naked.   
Her collarbone jutted away from her chest, leaving a sickly looking crevice to mock her. The curves of her body seemed more subdued than before; a lack of food over the last couple of days forced her body to consume some of the excess fat which gave her the curves that tormented her since she began puberty. She removed her socks and felt a cold blast of air hit her back.  
She was back on the freezing bed, spread eagled, and chained just as he wanted her, the cuffs biting into her slender wrists.  
No! Don't go there, get clean and get out of here! Do it for Mike, do it for yourself! She chastised herself as she ran the water in the tub. Several strands of steam rose from the hot water and soon cloaked her in warmth. She tentatively situated herself into the bathtub and eased her body into the hot water. Her skin tingled with delight as the water stopped at her chest. Reaching out with her right hand, she turned off the water and sat in the tub, nude, and for the first time in months felt content without having another person with her.   
Quin regretted her apartment not having a tub, there was a specific kind of magic that a good, solitary soak gave her psyche. She took the small bar of soap and dipped it into the water, and then slowly traced over her body with it, as she let out a satisfied sigh. Setting the bar on the edge of the tub, she then took the wash cloth and scrubbed her legs. Feeling the hot water trickle down her body was invigorating and she almost felt human again as she closed her eyes and let the fantasy in the back of her mind come to the fore front.   
It was a frigid fall evening, her and Mike were resting in a log cabin with a very generous tub, both of them were comfortably laying in it. Naturally, he was the big spoon and his arms were wrapped around her, caressing her as he slowly worked the wash cloth over her body, being mindful to where she needed the extra attention. She could feel his breath on her earlobe as he whispered how perfect the evening had been thus far. Her chest began to heave as she felt his hands stroke her arms, his lips kissing her shoulder and neck.  
The fantasy faded as Quin's hands traced over the hand shaped bruise on her lower abdomen, feeling the tenderness of it healing under her slight pressure.  
If he saw this...he'd die. He'd know that I gave in, that I let Arthur win...Quin felt the shame grab hold of her as her eyes filled with tears which she swiftly brushed away and she finished washing herself, no longer finding solace in the act of cleaning herself or the fantasy. She wrung out the wash cloth and turned her head to the side to get her hair wet without getting the bandages dirty. Quickly she took a pea sized bit of shampoo and worked it through her hair as her right hand scratched at her scalp. It felt good to remove the buildup from the last couple of days. Once she was done washing, she used the wash cloth to rinse her hair again and then rested her head against the bathtub wall.  
Am I ever going to be able to get past this? She thought as the nurse gently knocked on the door.  
“Dear, I heard a bump, everything alright in there?”  
“Yes, I'm fine. I'm almost done.” Quin dutifully called out as she stood up and stepped out of the tub. Her layer of filth floated in the tub and then flowed down the drain as she pulled the plug out.  
Take away the pain...please. She wished as she wrapped the small towel around her body. Her feet found the slippers and she toweled herself off. A cold blast of air hit her body, but instead of snapping back into the shack with Arthur assaulting her, she felt her awareness being snapped back into the fantasy.  
Except, it wasn't the same fantasy. Mike was gone and replaced with Arthur.  
Oh c'mon Quinie...I love it when you're all squeaky clean for me... his sick, twisted laughter filled her ears as she took in a breath and shook her head, causing some of the water in her hair to get her bandage wet.  
“Shit...” she scolded herself as she put on her new clothes, a set of long black sweat pants and a rust colored flannel shirt, along with her sling, and looked in the mirror.  
“He cannot take away Mike from you...stop giving him those moments, those fantasies...now.” she commanded herself as she looked away from her own image in the mirror.   
She was a fraud, thinking she could will away the poison Arthur put into her once more.   
“Now isn't the time for that...focus on getting out of here, Montgomery.” her voice called out as the aide knocked on the door.  
“Dear, do you need me to come in? Are you decent?”  
“Yes, I mean no...yes, come in.” the indecision of catering to her own needs or another bounced about in her reply.  
“Okay, I'm coming in.” the aide cautiously opened the door and looked at her, “Oh, your hair, it's still wet, and this room is so chilly! Here, let me treat you to a new 'do, I so rarely get someone sane enough to let me do it!” the woman's joy with being able to interact with another on a similar intellectual level made Quin smile.  
“Oh...okay.” she softly answered as the woman left the bathroom and then returned with a small personal blow dryer.  
“Oh goodness, your hair is damp!” the aide exclaimed as Quin could feel her taking stock of her body. “Let's get you looking your best. I'll just need to get that step stool.”  
She walked over to the other corner of the room, gathered the step stool and then situated herself on it. With standing on it, she was a good five inches taller than Quin.  
“I'll be gentle with this dear, you have such lovely hair.”   
The blow dryer turned on and Quin closed her eyes as the warm air blew over her ears and the crown of her head. She couldn't recall the last time she had been to a salon, let alone paper herself. Most mornings she simply combed her hair and let it go wild and free, especially the few mornings when Mike had stayed at her place. Quin recalled how he said she mentally and physically turned him on, so why change what was already working? As their intimate moments played out in her mind, she bit her bottom lip softly, but stopped as the aide's tiny hands lifted up her hair and dried her neck.  
“Sorry, I know I have cold hands, but I must say your hair is really soft...” her admiration made Quin blush as the drying finished. The woman got down off of her stool and looked at her, taking in her handy work.  
“I just love when I can give you gals a new 'do. I almost became a hairstylist back in the 60's,, but my dad wouldn't help with school. I still get to indulge in the dream.”  
“It's extremely nice for you to do this, I can't really recall the last time I treated myself.” Quin answered as she tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear and felt the silky texture slide though her fingers as the nurse opened the door and saw two nurses standing right outside of it.  
“Maureen,” the first nurse, the one who called the guards on Quin got out as she stared at the aide, “What in God's name you doin' with this freak? She doesn't need a makeover, she needs a damn bath.” the nurse glared at Quin, “Did you wash yourself?” she inquired as she over enunciated each word in the sentence right in Quin's face.  
“Yes, I did.” Quin followed suit in her reply. The second nurse, a younger woman, chuckled at Quin's parroting.  
“Shut it Allison, you know I sign off on your papers, right?” the first nurse got out.  
“Dang, Tanya...sorry.” Allison answered.  
“I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have taken such a long bath, and she-” Quin looked at Maureen, “She was just trying to cheer me up with a quick little blow dry, that's all.”  
“Look at the way her hair bounces, you can't get that with most hair types.” Maureen beamed as Tanya and Allison looked at her.  
“Ugh, fine, it's pretty, can we please just take her to be evaled? I have actual shit to do besides look at another pretty crazy white girl...” Tanya answered as she took Quin by the left arm and pulled her.  
“Aagh, please don't...” Quin began as the pain returned to her arm.  
“Stop! You're hurting her!” Maureen called out.  
“Sure we are, it's all in your head sweetie...but those cuff marks...what kind of kinky shit they catch you doin' with your man? Oh, you one of those pure types that lets a guy tie you up, and make you do all kinds of crazy stuff to 'em?”  
Quin shoved aside the nasty comments, “Please, it actually hurts...please...” she whimpered as Maureen stepped in between them and pushed Tanya back.  
“Leave her alone! She'll follow you, she isn't stupid you animal!” Maureen shouted.  
Tanya straightened her shirt, “I can't wait until you croak, you would let them run the place-” she spat out.  
“What's going on here?” a man's calm yet stern voice asked. Quin turned her head towards the direction it was coming from and saw slim Asian man standing next to a large guard.  
The man stepped towards them, “I told you that I could wait for ADA Montgomery to get ready, so why is there all this commotion?”  
“ADA, like lawyer ADA?!” the shock in Allison's face made Tanya roll her eyes.  
“Yeah, unlike American dental association.” Maureen sassed back as she rubbed Quin's left forearm through her sling, “You alright, ADA Montgomery?”  
“Maureen, no need for formalities,” Quin said as she looked at him, “Yes, I'm alright.”  
“So you're gonna tell everyone what we did, huh?” Tanya grumbled under her breath.  
“No, but-”  
“I'm Dr. George Huang.” the man shook hands with Quin. She could sense a quiet intensity from him, but yet felt relaxed in his presence.  
“I guess you already know me, but I'm ADA Quin Montgomery, Manhattan sex crimes division.”  
“It's nice to meet you, we'll talk in this free room.” Dr. Huang said as he motioned towards the room next to them and they both walked in. The guard closed the door and Quin could see him standing right outside the door. “Are they treating you alright? This hospital's psych ward is not the finest...”  
“It was a misunderstanding, that's all.” Quin placated him with as she sat down in the larger lounge chair and Dr. Huang made himself at home on the small sofa opposite her. Quin sensed that Dr. Huang was already reading her, but she couldn't hide her relief that she was one step closer to being out of here.  
Perhaps hiding anything isn't the best route to take here, he seems to actually want to listen to me...Carisi did mention that he was a decent guy... she thought as she looked at him. Even sitting down it was apparent she was a few inches taller than he was, but the quiet aura about him gave him an intimidating presence. Her hands rested on her lap haphazardly due to the sling as she took in a calming breath.  
“You okay?” he asked her as his eyes looked directly into hers.  
“About okay as I can be.”  
“ Fair enough, I'm here tot talk to you about a few things, that okay?”  
“Yes, ask away.”  
“How is your recovering going? Your shoulder was shot when you took a bullet to protect sergeant Dodds, right?”  
Quin smiled at his leading question. “Yes doctor, I did. It's okay when a nurse isn't tugging at it,” she sighed, “that isn't fair, she's got to be stressed, she felt stressed...”  
“Felt stressed?” Dr.Huang repeated the last two words of her sentence as a question.  
“I just sensed that the stress of taking care of a whole wing of patients fueled her frustration.”  
Huang nodded, “Do you frequently find yourself feeling what others feel?”  
Quin rubbed her left arm with her right hand out of nerves, “Yes I know it sounds...”  
“...nuts?” Huang chuckled, “I used to work with SVU, you aren't nuts but you've had a long road.”  
Quin felt him getting to the core of his mission.  
He knows about it all, hiding anything at this point would be a fool's game  
“It has.” she granted him the answer he was seeking as she looked away from him.  
“It's okay, I'm not here to judge about what happened to you. I get that your past isn't your guide in this lifetime.”  
She meekly nodded, “I can't change the past but I can envision the future.”  
“Good, that's a healthy attitude to have,” he stated as she began to shiver under her clothing, “are you still comfortable? We can continue this conversation somewhere else.”  
“I'm just cold, the bath wasn't the best idea. It's hard to keep warm...” she trailed off as Huang had the guard go and get a blanket for her. The large man returned and handed the blanket to Huang, who then draped it around Quin's back.  
“These places can get chilly, better?”  
“Thank you.”  
“Quin, may I call you...”  
“Yes, Quin is more than fine. I don't like the formality of my job title.”  
“Why not?”  
She shifted her body as she made herself more comfortable, “Honestly? It divides me.”  
“Divides? It's a very hard title to earn, I would make a case that its more distinguishing.”  
“In a sense yes, but there are instances where I wish that division wasn't simply a road block to figuring it out.”  
“Oh.”  
“For example, when I was younger, I was labeled as gifted and it meant that I always had to be right and buried in books, which to be fair I don't mind, but it would have been nice to go outside and play every once in a while.”  
“Did you ever have an outlet to play?”  
“Rarely, it was always work and study with him.”  
“Him? Arthur Cutlass?”  
Her body shook under the blanket, but she made herself stay as still as possible. Huang's eyes must have caught the determination in her eyes.  
“Yes, I lived in an orphanage. Arthur was the headmaster and a very strict man. He had to have complete control over everything-” she paused as her mind played through all the moments where Arthur tormented her outside of the set. He was stringent, unrelenting, and she felt his voice screeching through her ears.  
“Why did you do this?!”  
“How could you not get a perfect score?!”  
“These answers are wrong, rewrite it!”  
“Quin...Quin?” Huang's gentle tone pulled her out of her mind.  
“I'm sorry, I should be more focused on this evaluation-” she stopped herself.  
“I knew you were aware of it being as such.”  
“I'm...sorry.”  
“No need to apologize, you're observant and perceptive-”  
“You've read my file, haven't you? So you already know about the years of abuse, the things done to me...” she pulled the blanket around herself and felt herself wanting to cry once more.  
“Yes. It's one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you. With the years of abuse you endured, have you been to a therapist?”  
“I sought one out once I legally emancipated myself from Arthur, they helped, but I'll admit I haven't been to one in years, work got in the way.”  
“Did you speak to someone about your abduction?”  
She shook her head, “No, it was so fresh and I went back to London to help put Cutlass away, I just needed the closure, to know that one of them...would pay.”  
“It's only fair that you need closure. If you don't mind me asking, when you left the orphanage, were you able to take an possessions with you?”  
“Some, but not all.”  
“What did you have to leave behind?”  
Quin chuckled, “Besides my innocence? I had a small green journal I'd write in, it was like my escape valve. When I was twelve, he found it...” she saw the set in her mind as his hands groped her in the dark and dank basement. The lights, unforgiving and cruel, the red blinking light on the camera, the missing part of her pants, his growling, crashing voice, her timid one. She felt the way her heart begged to spared and the manner he tore into her. Her mind was overloaded; she closed her eyes and felt a set of tears fall down her face and onto her hands.  
“I...I wish I'd never written, or—or had my IQ tested by them, or ever been here...” she wept. She felt a couple of tissues find their way into her hand.  
“We can stop talking, I didn't mean to push all of this to the forefront of your mind-”  
“-no,” her voice barely louder than a whisper, “--not talking about it is what's been killing me. And then I come back and I find the perfect person to be with and then this happens and I'm so exhausted by the very idea that I have to be perfect, again. I just want to fail and feel the release of not being good enough, but I can't fail at letting it out again...can I?” her blue eyes wet with tears looked at him, Please...  
Huang glanced at watch, “No, you need to talk about it, however, if you choose to do so now, I have to included it in my eval, I can't legally withhold any information that could come up during trial.”  
“I understand, but I've waited two decades to get this all out, it's a now or never kind of situation here.”  
“Okay,” Huang sat back in the sofa, “Begin where ever you wish.” he kindly added as he readied himself to listen to her.  
“He found that journal because I didn't hide it well enough. Usually there was a crack in the floorboard of our bedroom...” she looked away and down, but found the strength to continue her story, “...he forced me to sleep with him...I had a spot I would tuck it, but he found it one morning, right as I was to get on the bus for school- he pulled me out of my seat and read one of the passages aloud...I never felt so ashamed in my entire life. I know now that I needed an outlet, to figure out what he was doing to me, and the journal was that-at the time I couldn't comprehend the way he'd touch me, but I didn't really understand at the time why I'd react the way I did, physically, when it disgusted me so much. I-” she took in a breath and slowly let it out.  
“You were trying to make sense of your world, how he was abusing you, why your body felt what it felt.” Huang recapped to her.  
“Yes, it was so hard to understand that I could do very advanced mathematics at the drop of a hat, but when he touched me, I couldn't think, it's like he shut off my brain and reduced me to a receptacle ..”  
“How long did he abuse you?”  
“What time lines do you want for each form?”  
Huang swallowed the tension choking him, “whatever kind of understanding works for you, this is your time.”  
“Emotional, physical, and sexual...since I was 9 until I got out of there. I don't know if words can capture the destruction of hope that occurred every single day...”  
Huang jotted down a few quick notes and returned to giving her his full attention.  
“What kept you going?”  
Quin smiled and held back another set of tears.  
“Knowing that I'd be free, that I'd be able to help others like me. I came over here to find my parents but there isn't any records of them, it's like they fell of the face of the planet...but if what I endured is the price I had to pay to help others...maybe it's worth-”  
“What happened to you should never, ever happen to anyone. Your desire to help people, respectfully, I need to disagree that it comes from these years of abuse. You naturally display a tendency to aid others, it's an aspect of your personality he,” Huang stopped.  
“He exploited within me.” she wiped the away the tears clinging to her eyelashes.  
“Abusers frequently look for an aspect like that in their victims. It's commonplace for quieter, gentle spoken children to be abused for longer periods of time.”  
Quin began to rock back and forth in her seat, “I...I know...it's just hard to hear everything I knew, deep down inside- if I can ask-”  
“-I'm moving you out of here. I think you being here, along with the similarities to where you were assaulted is triggering, but from what your intake papers said, I'll have to ask that you refrain from seeing anyone who was in the gauntlet with you.”  
“I can't see Mike...” she barely spoke up as she stopped rocking and saw Huang's eyes soften.  
“Quin, there are parts of your mind you need to work on, alone. And to be fair, Mike could be a trigger right now. Some time alone to reflect and recover would be the best-”  
“-for a short term solution, I get that, but he'll think I'm abandoning him, can I at least explain it to him?”  
“It wouldn't be ideal...”  
Her eyes filled with tears again as she saw that Huang was taking zero pleasure in forcing her to stay away from Mike. “I get it, but, can anyone see me?”  
“Yes, family can-or someone who is your medical proxy...who can legally make medical decisions for you. Do you have anyone like that here?”  
“My friend, Ronnie Brooks, he's here in the hospital...”  
“Okay, I can recommend that Ronnie be allowed to see you. Would he be able to stay with you for awhile?”  
“I can ask, but I can't guarantee it.”  
“Thank you...”  
Huang stood up and looked at her, “I'll push for them to get you out of here in a few hours, chances are they'll be willing to work with me on that. There's some paperwork I have to fill out, but I'll just need to speak with the director on duty.  
“Okay...Dr.Huang?”  
“Yes?”  
“Thank you for listening. I know what I've told you isn't easy to listen to, but it's important that I thank you even if those reasons are selfish.”  
“It's the job, but you're welcome...and Quin?”  
Her eyes looked up at him and she saw a serious expression move onto his face. “Yes?”  
“I'll be setting you up with a therapist for you during your recovery. It can't be me, scheduling conflicts, but I will suggest a therapist who has helped women in similar situations like your own. When you are able to leave the hospital, I'll have him reach out and set a schedule for you to visit him.”  
“Okay, I'll go. I promise.” Quin stood up and nodded as he left the room. The guard looked at her.  
“Yes...um?” she sat down the blanket and felt the cold breeze hit her shoulders.  
“You've been through some shit, but...” his hazel eyes softened, “...my cousin's been there, she's a preschool teacher now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...let's get you back to your room.”  
He walked over and linked his arm through Quin's right one and both of them made their way to her room, where he helped her get inside. As he shut the door behind himself, Quin said,   
“I believe you, thanks.”  
The guard nodded and left her alone. She shuffled over to her bed and laid down on it, allowing her body to rest, no longer carrying decades of shame inside herself.

 

Each set of irises exchanged looks with another- the emerald green flashed at the chocolate brown, sparks jutting from them, a stalemate incinerating each other. Benson sat across Ives, whose handcuffed hands were cuffed to the bar that was in the middle of the interrogation table.  
“Where is my embassy person?!” Tomas shouted as strands of her red hair fluttered about her as she struggled against her cuffs.  
“They're on their way, I assure you.” Benson got out as the tension she felt spread across her body.  
“Not freaking fast enough!”  
“That I can't help you with, but with what you're going away for, it won't matter.” the emphatic sound of the sentence exiting her mouth filled Benson with a long forgotten pleasure.   
Ever since her promotion to lieutenant, it seemed the paperwork was an ocean of technicalities and rulings she had to uphold. Gone, at least for a while, was the adrenaline rush of grilling a perp, especially a perp who'd gone and made it personal.  
“It will, at least Britian understands how to treat those who've been wrongly accused of a crime!”  
Benson scoffed, “You aren't wrongly accused Ives, we both know that you kidnapped and hurt all four of them, and then sold them to two scumbags who put them through hell!” she poorly checked her tone, but knew that she wasn't being watched, and stopped chiding herself as the tension grew in her shoulders.  
“You can't prove that! Where's the paperwork, outside witnesses, huh?” the smugness in Tomas's tone grated on Benson's nerves.  
“TARU has evidence on your laptop, and they're combing over the system those men used. They're gonna find the evidence, more of it, so then my ADA can lock you away and throw away the key. We clear?” the bravado in her voice was breaking through her tough woman act.  
I have you, you bitch, and you know it  
“They won't be able to find shit, because shit isn't on there-and those passport papers, they were never mine, those were the men's, not mine!”  
“ENOUGH!” Benson shouted as she walked over to Tomas's side of the table.  
“Ah, time for you to beat me? How 'Merican of you.” Tomas teased as Benson took in a deep breath and began,  
“You kidnapped them, you assaulted not only my second in command-”  
“-that man thing is your second in command?! Oh shit, that's rich! The moment I started to even touch Quin, he was cowering, begging me to stop! Hah, and those other two? Just targets, although, the tall...stupid looking one, you screwed him, right?”  
Benson felt her face blush, but pushed through the invasion, “-but also attacking my colleagues and ADA Montgomery, what were you thinking? How stupid does the head of a terrorist organization have to be?”  
“Not stupid enough to continue this conversation.” Tomas spat at her as she then shut her mouth in a large and dramatic fashion.  
“Fine” Benson hissed, “but once we process you, we'll put you in with the rest of the boys.”  
Tomas's eyes shined with worry as her mouth remained shut.  
“Oh yeah, see, unlike the UK, us yanks still have a lot to catch up on with it comes to transrights. The odds of you being put into a women's maximum security prison are slim to none. And on the inside? They don't care how you identify, once they know, you're fair game.”  
I'm sorry...but getting Arthur and you trumps social niceties right now...Liv's heart ached.  
“You're ruthless...Quin was right about you. The night I had her, she said you relentlessly ride her boytoy's ass, heck, I'm surprised the guy has nuts still.” she laughed as Benson felt herself struck by the words.  
You know it's a lie...  
“I don't believe you, Tomas.”  
“Hah, Fine, but you'd be shocked to know that I have experience fitting in, where ever or how ever I need to.”  
“When did Arthur start touching you, around the same time he started with Quin?”  
“You whore! Leave her out of this! You'll never get what was done to us!” Tomas bellowed  
as a smile came to Benson's face.  
“Ah, so you two were both fair game to him, let me guess, he favored her more than you, because unlike you, she's a real woman...”  
“Fuck off!”  
“So that's it, you needed to teach Quin a lesson about who was his favorite, who should have been with him all along. Did she get to sleep with him, all warm and snuggled up in his bed as he left you alone to shiver at night? I bet other guys got to have fun with you, got to use you however they wanted...” Benson trailed off.  
I'm so, so sorry...Liv thought to herself as she forced herself to keep going.  
“Gah, I put up with him pimping me out to protect her from it! I wanted her to come home with us, like I've said before, and represent the wights. With her mind and my body, we'd be unstoppable! But when I found out that he'd raped her, the first time...I knew I had to find away to protect her my whole life...I...” Tomas stopped and her frame crumpled as Benson felt horrific about her line of questioning.  
Keep going, get the job done, Liv pushed herself.  
“So, why sell her to those men? Why make her go through that?!”  
“Because Arthur knew who the wights were! He was giving our intel to various crime groups on the inside in jail, because if that kept going, we'd die! Five of us had been killed in the last nine months, and if I didn't follow Quin here, he would have dragged her back to the set! Selling her them meant keeping Patrice and I alive okay, it was a selfish fucking move!”  
“The set?!”  
Tomas began to cry, “It's where he raped us and filmed it...when he was busted and finally put away, they found hours of footage. Most of it was me and a few others, but there were some tapes of Quin...she always fought back, she always tried to escape...I wasn't that strong, that smart...I just gave up and let him have his way...if he pulled her back there, she wasn't going to be able to survive it again.”  
“So, you sold her, and the others to save your own ass...” Benson stopped as she collected herself. “...but you knew that he was behind the gauntlet...so why sell her?”  
“I didn't know until after I saw that he ghost wrote the book, the one she wrote as a little kid on that watchdog group site. I rushed every building within a five mile radius of the place we left her at with them...I couldn't find her...and now she's barely alive, why couldn't you just LET ME KILL HIM?!” Tomas's rage flowed freely from her body, saturating Benson in a wave of hurt and self loathing.  
“Because...” the knocking on the door jolted her for a moment, “...death is such an easy fix...prison is a lifetime of agony...why let him get out of that?” She stopped as the door knocked again and then opened. Benson recognized the man. “Buchanan.”  
The heavy set defense attorney smugly smiled at her.  
“I see you've been busy Benson. I'll take a moment alone with my client.” he belted out as Benson glared at Tomas one last time and then made her way out of the room.


	18. And this is where we are...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of Intuitive Connection.
> 
> Don't worry though, I've decided to continue this story in another work, which will be coming in the next few weeks. I want to give SVU the show time to develop this season more and this will allow me to work on some shorter ficlets in the next few days and maybe even a shorter, longer project I've been meaning to write.
> 
> I do want to say that I profoundly appreciate every person who has read this fic, your views have kept me motivated to finish it and it's one of the longer works that I've been able to keep working on until its finished. Thank you, and I hope that you'll come back to read the other book.
> 
> With this last chapter in the first book of the Intuitive Connection mini-saga, we see the round up of various characters in their current situations, because this is where they are
> 
> Feel free to follow me on Tumblr: ladyzootie

Ronnie looked at the shorter man, who had introduced himself as Dr. Huang. Both men were standing outside the psych ward, Dr. Huang had been able to get Ronnie to come after several pages within the hospital.  
“You were her proxy over in the UK? She never mentioned it during our eval...” Huang thought out loud before him.  
“Are you asking that rhetorically?” Ronnie got out and immediately felt guilty about being an ass with Huang, who seemed to actually want to help Quin.  
“My apologies, when I did her eval, she seemed lucid; she could talk about her feelings and understand what I was saying, my comment was in poor taste, I'm sorry” Huang replied as Ronnie saw sincerity in his eyes.  
“Nothing to be sorry about, it my proxy status good to go here?”  
“It should be, I'll speak with the head of the ward. In the mean time, I think going to Quin's apartment and getting a few familiar items and changes of clothes will help center her and allow her to recover faster.”  
“I can do that, did Barba's secretary leave a set of keys here?” Ronnie inquired as he recalled Quin mentioning that Carmen had brought some warmer clothes to her.  
“I believe they should be with her belongings, the staff should have them. Also, Ronnie, I've instructed Quin not to have any contact with the others who were in the gauntlet. I believe they could trigger her, at least for the time being.”  
Ronnie wrinkled his brows together, “I get it, any way I can help, I will. I know that you can't tell me what you two talked about...” he felt the emotions of regret coming out but shoved them back down inside, hoping Huang wouldn't notice, “...she's gonna be okay?”  
He knew the paternal care he held for her was evident yet Huang didn't seem to let it be a thing between them.  
Huang looked up at him, “Yes, but underlying events have to be addressed and only she can work through them. I've set her up with a therapist, a Dr.Lindstrom who will help her with the goal.”  
“Huang, thanks.” Ronnie got out as he felt himself getting a bit teary eyed.  
“Ronnie,” Huang's kind voice reassured him, “you are the best support pillar she's gonna have right now. I'm confident she'll make it.” he rested his hand on Ronnie's and bowed. Huang then turned around and walked away as Ronnie made his way to the information desk. His eyes saw a slender young man leaning over the desk, pleading the overworked nurse typing away at her computer. His slicked back hair and slim fitting suit made Ronnie wonder if he was the Carisi fellow that Quin had mentioned in passing on the phone. She had said, nearly a year ago, that he was a unique yet gentle soul and had been kind to her the whole time after her abduction.  
Ronnie stood next to him and subtly put himself into their back and forth conversation.  
“Excuse me love, detective Ronnie Brooks, medical proxy for ADA Quin Montgomery, I'll need her belongings, wanna get them washed for her.”  
The nurse glared at him over her glasses and said nothing back to him.  
“Ronnie! Hey, hey, you're that Ronnie! Good to finally meet you, Quin's said a lot about you!”  
The energy from the young man was intoxicating and Ronnie shook hands with him.  
“Nice to meet you...?”  
“Oh! Detective Dominick Carisi, but call me Sonny.” the lad's dimples came into view and Ronnie chuckled.  
I wonder why he's never dated Quin?  
“So, here are her things and her keys.” the nurse plainly replied as she handed Quin's belongings back to Ronnie.  
“Do you know when she'll be outta here?” Carisi asked the nurse, as Ronnie saw the young man's baby blue eyes glisten as he tried to charm the nurse.  
The nurse openly rolled her eyes, “I have no idea and only her medical proxy can be told.”  
Carisi whipped his head at Ronnie, who instantly asked the same question.  
“In about a few hours- paperwork processing.” the nurse flatly replied to both men.  
Ronnie tapped the desk and smiled, “Thanks, Love.”  
The nurse raised her eyebrows and Ronnie started to walk away when Carisi came bolting behind him. He wondered how the young man could be so energetic given the circumstances.  
“Hey, Ronnie?”  
“Yes, Detective Carisi?”  
“It's Sonny, but, can I come with you, you know, to help with grabbing a few things for her?”  
Ronnie stopped and realized that he wouldn't have the slightest idea what to grab for her to make her comfortable. “Sure, I don't know where it is even-god how was I supposed to be helpful without knowing where she lives?”  
“I do, I've been over there a few times, late night-” Carisi caught himself but Ronnie interjected into his sentence.  
“No need to brag about-” Ronnie countered as Carisi held his hands up.  
“-study sessions. I'm going to law school, Fordham university, nights.”  
Ronnie eyes grew large, “Sorry, I just figured you two had...you know...at some point.”  
Carisi smiled, “No, she's like my best friend, she just gets me, you know?”  
“I do know, she can get to the core of you without even trying.” Ronnie answered as he felt himself heading back into a memory. It had been late, he was stuck at his desk for some asinine reason and she had meekly walked up to it, practically concealed by case files and from the size of the stack, he recalled, Thorne was still breaking her in.  
“E..ex..excuse me...detective Brooks...um...I'm very sorry for the intrusion, but um...the file for the Braham case...I need-need your deposition, um...for it.” her voice so timid and shaking, it struck him again hearing it in his own mind. Later on he knew why she was carrying the stack, to hide her face, stained with tears from him.  
He stuck it out and she reached for it, but the files flew all over his work station and she was scrambling to collect them. The panicked manner she flailed her limbs, her eyes suppressing disappointment with herself, how could he have not shown her any mercy?  
Soon, after cleaning up the largest paper mess in office history, she was sitting across his desk, drinking tea and listening to him, her mindful nature taking in his ramblings. She didn't leave until he did, but he made sure that a platter of breakfast treats found their way to her desk the following morning. She phoned him and ever so politely thanked him. It was the start to their solid friendship.  
“Ronnie?” Carisi asked as Ronnie shook himself out of the memory.  
“Yeah, you'll know what will help her, thanks detective Carisi.”  
Carisi looked at him with kind eyes, “Call me Sonny, I insist, Ronnie.”

They made their way to Quin's apartment and entered it. The warm, cozy and intimate atmosphere made Ronnie wonder if he really did know who Quin was for a brief moment. She'd always been honest and social with him, but the small trinkets thoughtfully scattered about her place made him ponder if there was another side of her that she hid from him. Her décor spoke to a vivid inner artist he'd never speculate her being. Ronnie shook off the thought as Carisi made his way back to her bedroom.  
“Hey! You can't just go in there! It's an active crime scene, there's tape there.” Ronnie worried.  
So this is where it happened, where the wights took her and let her descend into that hell...bastards!  
Ronnie watched the slim Carisi delicately move about the tape. He looked back at Ronnie and stated, “CSI just cleared it yesterday, they haven't have a chance to try to clean it, I haven't had a chance to clean it...but they have all the evidence they need, those guys can get a bit slackerish when it comes to removing the tape, that's all.”  
“Alright...sorry, I didn't want us jeopardizing her chance to get these guys.”  
“I got you, we're good.” Carisi stepped over the tape and entered her room. Soon Ronnie saw him packing up a weeks worth of clothes like it was nothing. The younger man thought it no big deal to be handling his friend's intimates, but Ronnie felt himself growing in discomfort with the idea.  
“S-Sonny! You can't just go packing up her intimates like it's nothing!” Ronnie's voice wavered as Carisi threw a few brightly colored bras into a suitcase which had other casual and comfy clothing in it.  
“Wha? I have three sisters, and Quin is pretty much the fourth one Ronnie. She can't be feeling comfortable without having the right kind of support and the doctor says she can start wearing normal undergarments again. She gets self conscious about her chest, especially if she's around a lot of people she doesn't know. When my sister Gina had her first son, they wouldn't let her have a proper bra and she's got irreversible damage from it-”  
“That's enough, okay...I get it. I just feel like we're violating her inner sanctuary and it doesn't quite sit right with me...sorry.” Ronnie got out as he cut off Sonny's story about his sister's breast damage. He looked at the other side of her bed and saw a pair of men's dress slacks and a blue tie.  
She was here with Mike the night it happened...she's blossomed in that area too...stop thinking about it Ronnie... he told himself as Carisi flung the suitcase strap over his shoulder.  
“Ok, ready to go!” Carisi cheerfully got out.  
“Sorry about being brash earlier, I do appreciate the help, lad.” Ronnie thanked Carisi as he looked to the left and saw a small silver urn on her dresser. Carisi's eyes followed his and he heard the detective start to explain what happened.  
“She was trying to get away from Declan, he shot her while she was holding him, she could have never left him behind, she loved Lou so much.”  
“Lou?! Oh, yes, poor Quin, Lou her big white cat, looked like a toasted marshmallow...huge lover.”  
Carisi crossed himself, “Yeah, he always walked all over my notes whenever Quin was helping me study for law school. He'd smack me with his tail if I was wrong, I miss him. I'm not a big cat person, but I like them a bit more since hanging out with Lou.”  
Ronnie felt the memory pull him out of reality and into his own mind.  
Five years ago, he was working late when he stopped by Steele's office and by chance had walked by Quin's office, and was granted a vision of the largest, fluffiest cat ever. Quin was cooing at the cat like he was a baby as she draped him on her left arm while petting him with her right. He was purring so loudly that Steele got up and shut his office door out of annoyance.  
“Quin? Love, what's that?” Ronnie recalled asking her. Her blue eyes, sapphire like the cat's shined.  
“I just got the call, tomorrow he's officially mine! He's a rescue ragdoll, from the states, not him but the breed, isn't he just adorable?!” he had never heard her be so excited in the years he knew her, it was a vivid kind of joy that a small child had on Christmas morning moments after opening their perfect gift.  
“I'm glad for you two; between winning your last case and that raise, the cat rounds things out nicely. What's his name?”  
She looked at him and then the cat, “I dunno, to be honest he looked like a toasted marshmallow, so I was thinking about calling him campfire, but for some reason, Lou just sounds like the best name for him.”  
“Lou is a right solid name, strong but laid back.” Ronnie looked at the cat, who was falling asleep on her arm.  
“Oh, ragdolls have all their aggression bred out of them, so he's a perfect flat cat. I'm sorry, here I am babbling about like I'm holding a baby...”  
“Hey, in a way, he's your baby, just of the fur variety. I know you've been looking for a cat and adopting him, that's some good karma coming your way.”  
She blushed, “Thanks for getting it Ronnie, although, Alisha has already said she may have to cat-nap him. I'll have to guard him.”  
“I think he'll be okay, you two are pet and owner alright, congrats.”  
With her smile the memory vanished as Ronnie saw Carisi looking at him again.  
“Ronnie, you alright?” Carisi got out as he waved his hand in front of Ronnie's face.  
“Yes, um, sorry, seeing the urn made me recall when she adopted him.  
Carisi's face expressed his solidarity, “Yeah he was one hell of a cat. Quin said that he bit Declan while she was trying to get away and he survived Declan tossing him across the room...” Carisi made a fist and took in a breath.  
“So, this Declan guy, he's in jail right?” Ronnie asked Carisi as he noticed the younger man's face change.  
“Its complicated...” Carisi began but his cellphone rang, “Detective Carisi, SVU, she's out? Good! We'll be on our way Huang, yes we got some of her stuff like you asked Ronnie to do. Thanks, bye.” he ended the call, “Time to get back over there, per Huang's request they put her back into a non psych ward room.”  
“Good, good, hey Carisi, Mike can't know where she's at...”  
Carisi nodded, “Yeah, nether can Munch or Cassidy.”  
Ronnie looked at him, slightly puzzled, “The older man and the younger one who was shot-”  
“-in the chest, tall one.” Carisi responded as Ronnie sensed he was holding something back, but didn't want to press him right then and there.  
Both men exited her apartment and locked it up, and then made their way back to the hospital.

 

Benson stood in Barba's office looking at him as she crossed her arms in disbelief with his hesitation to believe her recollection of interrogating Tomas.  
“So Tomas openly confessed to you that she and Quin were both,” Barba took a moment to drink his coffee and clear his throat, “ raped over several years by cutlass?”  
“Yes,” Benson began, “Tomas is a victim in this too, I can see Buchanan making a case based on that alone- let along bringing up a dozen of examples of how Tomas was never given a leg up like Quin was.”  
“A leg up?” Barba openly scoffed, “You can see him trying to argue that Quin's intelligence gave her the upper hand in life and that invalidates what Tomas put her through, put all of them through?”  
“Buchanan is taking this one seriously, he's got to be doing it pro bono since Tomas has nothing.”  
“Buchanan can have all the reasons he wants to take this to trial, but please tell me that you and Ives have some kind of rapport?” Barba questioned Benson as she sat down and let out a small sigh.  
“So I'll take it that's a no then? Listen to me, Buchanan has his reasons, none of which are going to be easy to counter-and given the state of transrights- I can see this getting ugly very quickly for the NYPD...”  
“I know where this can go-” Benson got out as an instance of frustration got the better of her.   
“-I'm sure you do, but Liv, hear me, if Cutlass doesn't confess to you, and we can't get Tomas to testify against him, I don't know how this is going to go.”  
“What are you talking about? With Quin's testimony and everything TARU has found so far, how do you not win this? It's an open and shut case!” Benson stood up and walked about his office as she tried to hide her own doubts. “I mean, we have money wiring trail a mile long; Carisi was able to get the London PD to look into his financials over there-”  
“It's all circumstantial at best, and Quin won't be testifying.” Barba calmly answered back.  
“What? How could she not?” Benson glared at him, “You ask hundreds of men, women, and children to do it, why is she different?”  
“Because if I had more coverage on her, Tomas wouldn't have gotten her and Dodds...” Barba looked down at his notepad and began to write notes for his other cases.  
“Barba, that isn't on you, that's on Tomas and Cutlass, put them away.” Benson encouraged him gently as she leaned over his desk and looked at him.  
“I plan on it, but if there is a way to do it without her testimony, I will-”  
“-Barba! He could be extradited back to England and we'd never get to put him away for what he's done here!”  
“I know that, but Liv, what happened to her...Carisi said it's brutal...” Barba stopped to collect himself, Benson could almost see the pain and guilt swirling about in his eyes.  
“It isn't easy, but we both know she's a fighter, let her fight...you tend to hold her back a bit sometimes and it's so hard to see...she's ready to put him away for good, let her help you do it.”  
Barba pinched the top of his nose to stop a couple stray tears from falling down his face, as Benson changed the subject a bit.  
“She's out of the psych ward, Huang texted me a bit ago.”  
“Good, good, it'll let her rest. What about sergeant Dodds?”  
“His father has cleared him for PT and extended leave, which means I'm down to Carisi and Finn.”  
“Rollins still doing okay? Carisi mentioned she was still in the hospital.”  
“Complications with her last week of pregnancy, they're watching over her, but there's no real way to ask this delicately...”  
“I'll keep my hands to myself with Carisi and he can take a break with shadowing me, he should be focusing on SVU.”  
Benson smiled, “Thanks, so I'm going to head over to see Quin while she's up, want to join me?”  
Barba sighed, “No one wants to see their boss after what she's been through, besides, we aren't exactly-”  
Benson understood him, “I'll let her know you say hi, I've got a couple of hours to chat with her, get her statement and let her know that we do care for her.”  
“Liv, I do care, but this job is demanding, she of all people gets that.” Barba added as Benson looked at him and left his office.

 

Quin woke up to a happy Ronnie standing next to her bed, watching her sleep. She sensed he was trying to be supportive and endearing but instead it seemed possessive to her. She had slept a few hours and her ankle felt even better than before; walking was no longer a chore and she did make her way around the floor she was in before she came into her new room.  
“Welcome back to the land of the living, love, how did you sleep?” Ronnie said to her as she sat up and took the large mug of tea from his hand and sipped it. It wasn't the kind of tea she knew he was used to back in London, but she tried her best to enjoy it in front of him, as if it was the best thing since sliced bread.  
“Well I feel better, I think I'll make another couple of laps, it feels good to walk among other people.” she smiled as she sat the mug down on her nightstand.  
“Don't go doing too much at once, please, for me, pace yourself?” Ronnie fretted as Quin stood up and put on her heavy knit cardigan around her shoulders.  
“You need any?-” Ronnie began to ask as she countered,  
“-I've got it Ronnie. In a few days they said I can start taking off the sling for a couple of hours. Can I walk by myself please?”  
He shook his head, “Absolutely not. What happens if they catch you peekin' in at Mike? You know what Huang said, no contact with any of them. I'm not gonna let them put you back into that ward with a bunch of crazies again. My heart can't take it.” Ronnie put both of his hands over his heart as Quin looked at the ground and he knew she was thinking about Mike.  
“You know I like Mike, he's a good man but he's got to understand-”  
“-Ronnie, he could still think that I'm abandoning him, that I've left him here all alone. The gauntlet wasn't easy for him either, he didn't enjoy anything he did to me or to the others.”  
“Quin, he knows what's going on...I may have broken Huang's rule for a good five minutes to fill him in on the situation. Don't go telling Huang that...I saw him before his father got back and he wants you to know that...” Ronnie stopped talking as Quin moved over to him and took his hand.  
“-that he loves me, that he misses me but wants the best for me...I won't jeopardize that Ronnie, I promise you. Please, let me just have time to think over it all.”  
“Ok, I won't keep locked in here, just don't go looking for him...”  
“Thank you Ronnie, I know it hasn't been easier for you and I'm glad you're hear for me.”  
Ronnie gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, which made her laugh, and she made her way out of her room. She forced herself to go in the opposite direction of Mike's room as she made her way down the hallway. Several of the nurses in the wing waved at her and greeted her. It made her feel self conscious about her body, but she was flattered that they no longer through she was crazy. She was about to round the corner and head down the adjoining hallway when the elevator opened and Benson exited it, waving at her.  
“Quin, how are you?” Benson's warm and maternal voice asked as she made her way over to Quin.  
“I'm good, I'm good, how are you doing?” Quin asked as she pulled her cardigan around her body even tighter, trying to hide her frame from the immaculate looking woman.  
“We're hanging in there but I wanted to see how you were doing, which looks great since you're walking again.”  
“I've just been able to without much pain in the last day or so, which means I can go home tonight, and from what I've heard in the proverbial grapevine, Mike will be able to head out next week. The stabilizer on his thigh has been helping the muscle grow back nicely.”  
“Wonderful, have you gotten a chance to talk with Huang?”  
“Yes, and CSI cleared my apartment. Carisi's been nothing short of a saint with helping Ronnie get it back together.”  
“Good, so how are you handling everything, post incident that is? Has Huang found a therapist for you? I only ask because from personal experience, talking it out does help.” Quin saw Benson's eyes waver for a moment, like she was accessing a past trauma to reassure her that therapy was worth while.  
She doesn't have to reach into her own pain to help me with mine...lieutenant, I'm sorry that you feel like you do.  
“Yes, I'll be seeing a Dr. Bill Lindstrom, I think that's his name, Huang personally recommended him...wanna walk and talk? I should be almost back to my room by now, Ronnie will get worried.”  
Both women began to walk down the hallway, side by side. The self conscious nerves Quin had before surged with vengeance as she thought,  
She has a child under three and works non stop yet looks like a knockout all the time...  
Quin looked at Benson and saw her hands reach out and adjust her cardigan, as Benson's eyes took in the stitch work.  
“Nice sweater, where did you get it, if you don't mind me asking?”  
“Not at all..but,” Quin blushed, “I made it a while back when I was in London, I had a lot of down time between helping with the trial and aiding Throne with cases.”  
“It's very well done, have you knitted your entire life?”  
“Nope, just in the last decade or so. It centers me and lets my brain go off and solve cases...don't tell Barba that, he'll flip if he knew how much knitting I did at work...”  
Benson chuckled, “Your secret is safe with me...hey,” Benson stopped walking and Quin felt herself following suite as the older woman continued talking, “we're gonna get this case taken care of, we've got so much evidence to put away Tomas and Cutlass...”  
Quin looked away from her and then down at her feet, “If I'd gotten a harsher sentence put on him, he's still be in there, this wouldn't have happened, he wouldn't-” she caught herself as she clamped her mouth shut.  
He wouldn't have hurt them, touched me, it all would be so different now...  
Benson's hands went to her shoulders and gently turned Quin to look at her, “You cannot beat yourself up over that, that isn't on you. You are a fighter and you're gonna get through-”  
Quin shrugged Benson's hands off, “I know, I know...I should finish my rounds, I don't want the doctor to think I'm lollygagging since I'm going to be discharged today.” she began to walk again, this time by herself.  
“Quin.”  
“Quin, wait!” Benson shouted as Quin stopped and looked at Benson, who quickly walked over to her and held her close, gently. While Benson was a few inches shorter than her, Quin found herself wrapped in an emotion, which was amplified by the physical embrace she was in. It felt so new, and yet, so familiar. Maternal Kindness.  
I've felt this before, a long, long time ago... Quin's psyche called out as fresh tears fell down her face. Is this how all mothers make you feel when you're hurt...did my mom ever do this for me? Did she even want to?  
Those questions swam in her mind as Benson rubbed her back and the moment ended.  
Quin scrambled to wipe the tears off of her face, but Benson saw them and her eyes reflected Quin's sadness back to her.  
“Hey, don't be asham-”  
“-ashamed? Heh, because of me, my actions, the monster from my childhood hurt people I care for, the man I love. I'm a burden on those who care for me and I have no recourse to make it right for them this moment...I just need to be alone right now.” Quin chided herself as she moved past Benson, unwavering in her determination to make things right.

 

Inside the holding cell both Patrice and Tomas were given the silence to contemplate a certain clarity in their situation. Patrice felt freer inside the holding cell than outside of it, as if the metal bars granted her a mental structure she had unknowingly craved for so long. Her focus drew her inward as her internal voice was allowed to speak.  
I could have gotten my GED, maybe gone to trade school I'd be out of here, maybe even with a nice lady...is that still a possibility for me? Her voice mused as she looked out of the holding cell and at the lanky detective, one “Sonny” Carisi, the son of a bitch who slammed her knee into a set of steps, but instead of the sheer hatred taking hold of her, she felt almost a kind of pity for him. He was erratic, his limbs bouncing from one desk to another, in and out at all hours while she was motionless.  
“At least the sarge was organized...” Carisi thanked God above while grabbing the file off of the sergeant's desk, the very same sergeant who had his ass handed to him by Tomas, and then bolted past her and Tomas. He had tried several times to get her to flip on Tomas, and failed miserably, but, maybe if he'd asked her this time-  
-he would have gotten his wish.  
Tomas looked up at her, those green eyes projecting love and hate into her, inflamed with rage.  
“You're gonna be here, it'll be a while for your lawyer to get a deal, if he can get a deal.” Patrice knew her monotone honesty jabbed at Tomas.  
Watch them put us together in the same cell...just because life hasn't been brutal enough to me  
“Oh, he's gonna get us a deal; I've got him working on the plea of a lifetime.” Her red lips spread into a satisfied smile as the holding cell door opened. A heavy set man, barely able to breathe without offending Patrice's senses stood there.  
“Tomas Ives, I think Barba's ready to deal.” the lawyer got out in a few huffs.  
“Wonderful.” Tomas' feminine and silky voice got out as she was shackled by the accompanying officer and taken out of the cell.  
Patrice stood up, “Wait, Tomas!” she called out as Tomas walked over to the interrogation room.  
Tomas kept walking and never looked back.

 

His eyes caught the stacks of 'reading material' his old man had brought him to keep him somewhat entertained, but little if any of it caught his interest since his only options were several world war two novels, full of death and decay, and the latest sports illustrated, naturally the swimsuit edition.  
Mike rolled his eyes as he shut off the television in his room. It was only three in the afternoon, but he wanted to rest his eyes. It made no sense to him to watch reruns of sports games and soap operas, so there was no reason to say awake.  
Images of Quin came to him, the subtle way her eyes smiled even when the rest of her was somber, her cheeks blushing when he had taken her to dinner and actually sat down with her and learned about the mystery woman herself, and the look on her face in the mornings they had spent together, when he'd roll over in her bed and see her there, lying next to him, and snuggle with her.  
He felt alive.  
The intangible enigma of motionless energy she gave him as she looked at him; still in awe that he wanted to be with her, took him to a part of his being he was certain was hidden, even from himself-that he could live with the full capacity of his soul.  
It was marvelous and torturous.  
It would be too long before the sensation would be his again, hers again, theirs again.  
“She can't see you until her therapist thinks she's in a stable place, with what happened to her not only here but also back home.” Ronnie's voice said in his mind as Mike saw their talk earlier in his mind's eye.  
“How is she handling it? How did they treat her?” the worry from those words rippled through him as again he repeated the question. Ronnie's eyes had showcased his own worry,  
“She's tired and a bit on edge, I don't have a whole lot of time, but, she'll be okay, I've got about a year of personal time and my boss will let me use all of it. They all know Quin and want the best for her.”  
“Do you think it'll be a year? That long?”  
“Mike, I don't know, but I'll be here, and i'll try my damnest to keep you in the loop, but-take the time to get better yourself, she's not the only one who was hurt-”  
He could feel his head moving as he recalled looking away from Ronnie.  
“Ronnie, I'm fine, I will be once I get out of here and get through PT...”  
Mike couldn't believe his own statement once he heard it again in his mind.  
“I'm not...”  
“Mike?”  
He opened his eyes and saw Benson standing in the doorway.  
“Lieutenant, sorry, I didn't mean to dooze off.” Mike apologized as he shook his head, sat up in his bed and ran a hand through his hair.  
“It's alright Mike, I wanted to visit you and Quin.” Benson smiled at him as she took a couple of steps closer to his bed. Mike felt himself getting unnerved by it, but hid his tension from her.  
“You don't have to, I know it's got to be busy at the precinct, when I can get back to work I'll-”  
Benson shook her head a bit, “Mike, slow down, get walking again first. With what you two have been through-”  
“-Lieutenant, I-”  
“You remember after the case with the Ryan brothers, with Lily, what I told you?”  
He sighed, laying in bed was torture, having his boss bring up his greatest failure since joining SVU was salt in the wound.  
“Yes, go home, talk about it with-”  
“-someone you care about.”  
he sighed again, “-and I can't see that person...” he caught himself.  
The last thing she wants is for me to go on about Quin...  
Benson sat on the couch next to his bed, “Mike, I'm gonna let you in on another secret, the therapist she'll be seeing, he's very good, uh...he's helped me through some things.”  
Mike saw the minute discomfort with her openness, “I don't want to pry...”  
“You aren't, but, she'll have a fantastic therapist to help her, and I've asked for him to see you too.”  
He laughed; the nerves inside him coming out in tense little pieces of laughter.  
“I don't nee-”  
“-Mike, I thought the same thing, until I went under cover 8 years ago and was nearly assaulted. What you two went through, it was an emotional and physical assault on your persons. I see a lot of the sighs I went though- the stopping mid sentence, pausing as you're forced to feel the memory, I see it in her,” Benson took in a breath, “and I see it in you.”  
He felt himself quiver slightly; the idea that she could see that part of him, that aspect he didn't want to admit was visible, wounded him. He looked at her, “Lieutenant, I'm fine, I'm not experiencing any of that. His focus should be on Quin and helping her. I just need to finish my physical training and I can get back to work, to making SVU an effective force.”  
“Okay, but Mike?”  
“Yes, lieutenant?”  
“Think on it. With your military background; what you've seen and done, along with this, talking to someone isn't a weakness, it's a strength.”  
He let out a breath and calmed himself. She really didn't even know the half of what he'd seen and been expected to do, but yet she came to his room and wanted him to gush about his feelings, his hurt and anguish, his joy and bliss like they were friends.  
What kind of boss is she? This makes no sense, my feelings are my own, not hers to explore  
He let himself savor in the thought as she began to turn around and walk away, yet she added,  
“Before I go, I ran into Quin and she's blaming herself for what happened to all of you, she's carrying the brunt of that hurt all on her own, when you see her-”  
His fists shook under his blanket and he took in a deep breath, “Lieutenant, I'm sorry, I'm just tired, I'm not good company right now, I-” he heard the tension in his voice and knew she did too.  
“Okay, I'll head out. Take care sergeant.” She didn't turn around to say good bye to him, she left his room with little resistance.  
There wasn't a release for the mixture of anger and self loathing he felt within himself. Mike didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, instead he saw all of his failures lined up on either side of him, clashing about his mind as his head went to his hands as he wept for each and every one of them. Alone.

 

Tomas looked up at the smaller Cuban and smiled as her lawyer, Buchanan let out a sigh as he went right back to verbally sparing with the ADA.  
“And that's not gonna work for us, she directly put them in harms way, end of story- 10 years for assault one without a deadly weapon.” Barba got out as he crossed his arms and let out a secret huff.  
“You're joking right?” Buchanan scoffed as Tomas played with a bit of her hair, twisting it around her fingers.  
“I can make this look very, very bad for Tomas,” Barba glared at Buchanan and then her. “Think about it, when people look at you-” he said to Tomas as she felt herself boil into a fit.  
“-are you trying to insult my client's non gender conformity? Really, Rafael, I thought you were better than that, especially since you and-”  
Barba stared at Buchanan, “The issue at hand is that the average new yorker isn't going to see what we think, a woman should be,” he again looked at Tomas, “people will only see someone, you outside of the box- and once they hear what you did to them, and that you selfishly took that money and ran away...”  
“Again, intimidation tactics aside, your TARU has yet to get any-”  
The room door creaked opened as Tomas saw the lanky detective Carisi and the black man from earlier, Finn she thought his name was, enter the room and shut the door.  
“Really, this?!” She growled as Finn looked at her. Those eyes, the kind without any sympathy for her struggle kept their gaze on her, as Carisi leaned towards Barba and whispered for a few moments.  
As the smug satisfactory smile swept over Barba's face, Tomas felt deep within her bones that they had found it.  
She had an external hard drive which at some point she had attached to the laptop, they must have found it.  
Fuck  
Carisi handed her missing hard drive to Barba as he looked at her.  
“So we couldn't find the banking statements because they were deleted from the laptop hard drive, but you'd need tangible proof to collect the bounty that watchdog group put on Cutlass, after they helped him escape London.”  
“No they didn't! I spoke with their leader, Wendy Hapton, you're lying!”  
“Hardly,” Finn broke in, “Interpol just arrested Hapton on tax evasion charges along with charges for creating an organization to hide tax money in- she was using you to give the group a good looking front.”  
Tomas caught out of the corner of her eyes Buchanan's nervous red sweat covered face as he boomed with, “I need more time alone with my client!”  
Carisi gave Finn a grin as Barba answered him.  
“No, we have everything we need to put you away for good.”  
“But not Cutlass! You know it and I know it! You can't find proof that he was financially involved, you..you need me, heh!” Tomas felt herself scramble for a defense since Buchanan was struggling to breath in his suit.  
“Perhaps,” the icy daggers in Barba's grey eyes chilled Tomas's soul, “But I can live with London prosecuting him for lesser charges- chances are I can talk Jacob Thorne into pushing for another year on his sentence, usually it's just a slap on the wrist, mere six months, but we've got you and Quin will be pleased with that.”  
“Wait, you can't extradite him to London but make Tomas take the wrap for what happened here, that's cold, Rafael...” Buchanan finally got out.  
Tomas saw Carisi's eyes flicker with a seething kind of rage in them.  
“I can, and I will, unless...”  
“...I'll testify! I'll get up there and tell 'em every sadistic thing he did to me, and her...I'll take the five years, just...”  
“You do care.” Carisi's blue eyes gave her the look of acceptance she hungered for her entire life, understanding.  
“Yes, my client does, so put away the dimples, detective.” Buchanan got out as he shot Barba a look.  
Barba took in a breath, “You would be willing to plead guilty to assault, kidnapping and human trafficking, for ten years, and then we send you back to London and that's fair game to you?”  
“Yes, but with two conditions.”  
Barba rolled his eyes, “Please tell your client that she isn't royalty solely because she grew a conscience in the last minute.”  
“Look, I want to be but away with other transwomen, if I've go to a men's facility it will be the death of me, I get that you think I deserve that, but...” Tomas paused as she felt decades of shame and self loathing transfix within her into a single emotion, regret.  
I could have done more, done less... “But let me serve this with some kind of dignity, please.” She got out as she looked at Buchanan, who was still sweating and struck speechless.  
“And the other condition, Tomas?” Carisi got out as Barba looked at her.  
“Put him away for good!”  
“Fine, but we need you to really do that, to make that happen.” Barba's tone became soft and somber.  
Tomas ran her hands through her hair, her nerves getting the better of her, “Okay, so you gents need my statement or something?” Even with the nerves she felt relief take hold of her.  
“Here-” Carisi said as he slid a pen and a pad of paper towards her across the table, “-you go.”  
“Are you sure about this?” Buchanan asked  
“Yes, I am.” her own confidence with this choice surprised her more than she thought it would.  
I'm free.

 

Munch stood in the hospital gift shop taking in the gifts for little girls and he couldn't move, let alone think which one would be the best for Rollins' daughter, Jessie. He was elated that Rollins was at peace with her newly minted motherhood, even with the placenta rupture that made for an anxiety inducing birth, but, after Carisi has stopped freaking out, he'd never seen such joy from one co-worker to another.  
Bless that Carisi kid... Munch thought as he saw Finn walk in with a massive grin on his face. Munch turned and looked at Finn who was more elated than any other time in his life.  
“So the great John Munch decided to pull himself away from the joys of semi-retirement to see the cutest kid ever, huh?” Finn teased as his eyes went towards the massive powder pink teddy bear on the back shelf behind the cashwrap.  
“Don't say that around Carisi, we don't need more waterworks...”  
“Hey, he's been worried about Rollins, the-”  
“I know, I kid, I kid...” Munch held his hands up in mock arrest, “She is a cute baby, I wont deny the kiddo that. So do you and this bear have some history I don't know about?” Munch pressed Finn as he looked at him over his glasses.  
“Nope, just though the idea of Carisi carrying a three foot tall teddy bear along with everything else would be hilarious.”   
Both men looked at the massive teddy bear, then at each other and smiled.  
“Miss, how much for that enormous powder pink bear?” Munch inquired.  
“Two hundred and fifty dollars.”  
“Whewww...” Finn let out as Munch reached for his wallet, “John you can't be serious....”  
Munch smiled, “Worth every penny, more so since you're gonna carry it up stairs...” he smiled as the clerk handed the bear to Finn, who begrudgingly took it and carried it out of the shop.  
“I thought we were friends John, how you gonna do me like this?” Finn joked as Munch took out his phone and snapped a picture of Finn visibly struggling to carry the bear.  
“Nice, new phone background, shall we?” Munch asked as he held his arm out and Finn took a few steps, barely able to see over the bear's head.  
“That's cold John, I thought I was your boy.”  
Munch chuckled, “Calm down, you are, and I guess I'm still your Jew, right?”  
Finn laughed as they got on the elevator and took it to the maternity ward.

Both men exited the elevator to a laugh track of people taking the real life sitcom they'd become and made their way past several women in wheelchairs, most either pregnant or new mothers, who smiled at Finn's arduous relationship with the teddy bear.  
“We almost there yet? I can't see a damn thing holding on to-”  
“Is Martha a good bear name?” Munch pondered aloud as Benson flagged them down and they got into Rollins room.  
“What did you do and who is Martha?” Benson teases as she gave Finn a look and hugged Munch.  
“I found the ideal gift for any daughter of an NYPD detective, teddy bear armor. Martha, meet Lieutenant Benson, Liv, this is Martha.”  
Finn walked over to Carisi, whose eyes lit up like a kid on their birthday upon seeing the bear.  
“Yes! That's perfect! Finn, you are a genius!” Carisi beamed as he took the bear from him and sat it in the chair next to Rollins' bed and proceeded to take several pictures of a visibly exhausted Rollins and 'Martha' the bear.  
“Carisi, its a teddy bear, not a Kardashian...” Benson got out as Munch found himself lingering in the background. He heard Carisi's reply of “I know, but look at how huge it is!” as he looked at the scene about his person.  
A few weeks after his own hell on earth and his work family was able to highlight the positives of humanity; innocence, unity, love, joy and compassion. All of these were solely lacking in his own life.  
Even with all the hate, all of the crap they deal with, here we are, welcoming a new human into it all...welcome to the universe Jessie, you've got some serious back up.   
Munch looked at Jessie as Rollins noticed him and smiled.  
“Now I know you aren't that shy Munch, you can hold her if you want to.” Rollins offered as Jessie let out a yawn.  
“I'll try my best, I make no promises.” Munch sasses as he walked over to her bedside and with a care he didn't think he possessed, picked up Jessie and held her.  
It felt like holding a tiny angel who wasn't able to tell him he was going to hell, but even with Jessie's silence and her blue eyes looking at him, the regret of his own life choices began to seep into his conscious mind.  
Never gonna have this; kids, family, at least not in the traditional sense...is it really over, that chapter of my life...just locked away?  
His eyes looked at Jessie as Carisi took a picture of him. “Good luck Jessie,” he glanced around the room, “you've got one hell of a support system...congrats Amanda.” he said as he handed Jessie back to her.  
“Thank you Munch” Rollins smiled at him, “...so if you don't mind me asking, where did you find that bear, and can we rethink the name?”   
Munch and her, along with Benson and Finn laughed as Carisi butted in.  
“Hey now, Martha has a certain dignity to it. Besides, I've already used the name on my tumblr page, so...”  
“You have a tumblr?” Benson said, letting out a laugh.  
“What, doesn't everyone?” Carisi rebutted as he looked at the rest of them.  
“No.” Munch replied for everyone.  
“Oh...”  
“And to answer your question, your partner helped me pick it out.” Munch added as he looked at Finn.  
“Finn, this bear is massive...how am I gonna get it home?” Rollins began to ask.  
“Amanda, I'll help you get it home...no problem.” Carisi smiled as he tucked his phone into his back pocket.  
“Okay...thanks.” Rollins answered as Munch's phone rang. He glanced at the screen, “Sorry, hate to hold your first born and dash, but I have to take this. Again, congrats.”  
Munch left her room and answered the call. “Cassidy? What is it?”  
He heard Cassidy strain as he got up off of his old recliner.  
“You got time to talk?” Cassidy asked as Munch heard a slight waver in his voice and it hit him wrong, his intuition began to prickle.  
Something's off...  
“Yeah, just hang out until I get there, okay?”  
“Yeah...bye.” Cassidy ended the call as Munch rushed to the stairwell and made his way to his car.  
He hated it, when his gut was right.

 

Patrice's body bumped around as she sat in the back of the prison van. The van went over another bump which caused Patrice to slam her body into the side of the van and into the inmate next to her.  
“Watch yourself bitch!” the woman shouted as Patrice scooted her body against the side of the van, but winced as her handcuffs bit into her wrists. She looked out the window and saw the city pass by her. Patrice sighed as she recollected how she's ended up in her seat, in cuffs and without Tomas.  
After Tomas has been taken into interrogation room two, Patrice had waited for her, yet several hours later Tomas and her lawyer finally strolled out of the room, practically beaming as Tomas locked eyes with her and she knew what was happening. Tomas had taken a plea deal, after explicitly saying that they should fight the good fight and she had caved.  
Patrice now knew she was the stronger one, but yet, if Carisi had asked her to confess one last time, she would have. A kind aura emanated from him and Patrice didn't realize that men could possess it too, kindness. The hurt her body endured along with her soul prickled as she heard Tomas' bullshit as she had walked past her in the holding cell, trying to meagerly explain her actions.  
“It means putting Arthur away, please Patrice! It means I'm done with this, I'm-”  
She's done with me.  
Patrice chased Tomas's words with her own answer as her mind saw Tomas being pulled away by two cops and detective Carisi looking at her.  
God that guy, I bet her cries when he sees a stray puppy on the street, captain sensitive over there.  
Carisi's eyes, as she recalled his facial expression, brimmed over with a mixture of sadness and anger, and pity. Pity for her. Her mind when to her arraignment, seven years she'd be in prison for aiding in human trafficking. It wasn't even a crime to her with all the times she'd been sold and passed around, it was a way of life.  
Was the time she spent with Tomas a better way of life?  
I was happy, I loved her, but the moment Quin came into view...I lost her.  
Her thoughts did little to soothe her ache but she dove into them again,  
I could have really stayed with her, done anything for her-made big plans with tiny mistakes, but...she never really, really loved me...so who did?  
As she finished the thought, an SUV crashed into the other side of the transport van, flipping it onto it's side and pinning her under the rude inmate shackled in next to her.  
“What the fuck?!” the other woman wailed as Patrice looked past her head and saw a figure dressed in all black with a black ski mask covering his face heading towards them. The figured opened the van and began to pull the shackled woman off of her.  
“What the fuck you think you doin'?!” she hollered at the figure as a finger towards the mouth part of the mask and made a 'shushing' gesture. The figure's hands reached out and cut her shackles off with bolt cutters.  
“Get gone.” the digitized voice said as Patrice felt the woman shove her way past her and the figure. The van driver and the security guard were unconscious, each with a bleeding head wound.  
“What about them?” Patrice calmly asked the figure  
“I've put in a 911 call- they'll be okay.”  
“Who?!”  
The figure took off the mask and Patrice felt herself smile for the first time in ages.  
Bishop looked at her and cut her handcuffs away from the chain they'd been attached to and helped her get out of the van.  
“Why? When? And how?” she barked at him as he smiled back at her.  
“Later, they'll be here soon, let's go!” Bishop ordered as they sprinted to the SUV and he drove away from the scene. Patrice wiped her head to see the ambulances pull up to the scene, but then Bishop sharply turned into a side street and floored the gas petal. Patrice held on to the door handle as he made three more consecutive sharp turns.  
“I think I lost them, but, here-” he reached for a jacket, “-put this on, that orange suit stands out.”  
Patrice rolled her eyes as the familiar banter between them returned again, “Sorry I didn't realize you were going to be busting me out of a prison van today...I'll bring it up in my exit interview with the warden.”  
Bishop let out a laugh, “Patrice, dare I say it, I've missed you.” he glanced at her as he pulled int a garage attached to a bar. He stopped the care and parked it.  
“So...what's going on?” Patrice flatly questioned.  
“Do you really think i'd let you rot in jail? I need you, someone with your skill set, I know Tomas taught you some stuff, martial arts, etc, but I've got to go to Serbia, hold down a ring there for a few months, but you'd be an asset. I've got a new passport, social security number, all the paperwork you will ever need-” he fished an envelope out of his jacket and handed it to her.  
Patrice felt the weight of its contents and his request, “I wouldn't be doing any kind of trickin'?”  
He looked her square in the eyes, “Never, ever will you have to do that. You'll be my right hand woman, practically my equal.”  
“I see...and how long would we be together, in this partnership?”  
“Three to six months, there are four hundred women we can get out of there, in Serbia, I just need another set of hands to help me, that's all. I know you and Tomas have your-”  
“We're through, she left me out to dry to fulfill her fantasy of redemption. I'll do this, but on my terms.” she handed the packet back to him. “My name, my life will be what these girls know, I won't have them seeing a false version of myself, I can't...”  
“Hide anymore?” Bishop finished her sentence as Patrice simply nodded, feeling years of held back emotions coming up to the surface to breathe.  
“Patrice, you need this cover, I can't even being to entertain trying to get you out of the country on other terms, but when we get them home, they'll know your real name, that I can promise.”  
“o-okay.” Patrice stumbled over her reply as she suppressed the urge to cry.  
“C'mere.” Bishop said as she felt herself crash into his embrace. It was how she wanted her own father to hold her, with a gentle care that she never truly felt from him or nearly any other relative in her life.  
“Thanks...so,” she held up her cuffed wrists, “about these?”  
Bishop cut off the handcuffs and they got out of the care. “The offer?” he asked, as he again handed her the packet.  
“Yes” she replied.  
I'm free

His fist pounded on the door to Cassidy's apartment, but after thirty seconds, Brian had yet to answer, even to shout 'cut it out Munch'  
“Brian, you there?” Munch put his hand on the door handle and pushed the door open.  
Not a good sign...  
“Cassidy, I'm coming in!”  
I swear if you and Liv are here...again... Munch thought as he flashed back to when Amaro and himself has walked in on them ordering takeout. He could recall the look on Liv's face and the shock in both their eyes.  
He took a few tentative steps in and looked at the state of Cassidy's place. While Brian was the stereotypical ladies' man, he wasn't so unkempt as his place looked. Boxes of takeout littered the counter tops, tables and floor. It looked like he'd forgotten to even think about cleaning up after himself. The air hung stagnant and musty around Munch, who made his way past cans of beer and garbage and then made his way over to the hallway. His legs felt heavy; he didn't want his gut to be right, that Cassidy had killed himself with the deep and intense guilt he felt over shooting Quin. Cassidy's volatile emotional state was playing over and over again in his mind as his footsteps clunked towards the bathroom.  
Bits of glass were scattered about Cassidy; his friend's larger frame leaning against the sink, his head resting against the now mirror like medicine cabinet. A gash on Cassidy's head caught Munch's attention, the blood trickling from it very slowly, almost pooling into a drop at the end of his jawline.   
Okay, this happened before I got here Munch reassured himself as Cassidy looked at him.  
“Hey.” Cassidy's attempt to downplay the moment fizzled as Munch took several small steps towards him, trying to avoid the ring of glass around him.  
“Brian, you've gotta talk-”  
Cassidy let out a groan, “I know...Munch, I...I just...”  
Munch felt himself take a nearby wash cloth and pressing it on the gash, but internally, he was standing still, unable to act.  
I should have come back here with him, he has no one... Munch chided himself as he continued to press the washcloth into Cassidy's head out of sheer muscle memory.  
“I keep seeing it, in my head, when I'm awake, when I'm sleeping... it won't stop Munch, and I'm sick of it...” Cassidy's voice seethed with self hatred.  
“Brian, it was a mistake, she forgave you, it's over.”  
Cassidy took over holding the wash cloth and Munch saw his blue eyes focused sharply on him.  
“I'm a monster, no better than Cutlass, than those guys. I bought into their game, I chased her and scared her, I, I...”  
“Cassidy, you were doing everything in your power to keep both of you alive. If you hadn't, Arthur could have killed you, hell, all of us. He tied me to a cross for fucks sakes, he's sadistic!” Munch couldn't contain his anger anymore, the whole incident was a shit show for the current state of the human condition.  
Cassidy's blue eyes brimmed with tears and Munch felt his heart break for his friend, his partner, and how the incident was waging a mental warfare with them both.  
“I think I should talk to someone...I can't do anything, I can't sleep or eat, or nothing. Now I know how Liv felt...after-”  
“Olivia's dealt with that Brian, she's got Noah now, she's a lieutenant, she's in a better place and we both know that you can be too.” Munch answered as he helped his friend get out of the bathroom and onto the couch. Cassidy pulled a blanket around his torso and sat back as his hands ran over his face.  
Munch brought him a drink of water and pulled out his cellphone. There was only one person to call.  
The other end rang as Munch cleared his throat and looked back at Cassidy.  
“Hello?” the other end answered the line.  
“George, it's john, you gotta minute?”

 

The faint sound of clanking chains and iron bar doors running along tracks echoed about him as he regained consciousness. A bandage covered most of his face which only allowed him visibility through his right eye. His mind was fuzzy, the nerves in his mind only able to distant recall of how he got there.  
Bits danced behind his eyes as he pieced them together-the lieutenant interrogating him, her cold dirt brown eyes glaring at him along with the black man and the gay lawyer.  
“Why Arthur, why did you do this?” The black man, a detective Tutuola, who went by Finn with the other two asked him in his memory.  
“Why not? It was her journal, her desires, her wants, her-” his head whipped to the left as he felt Finn smack him and the lieutenant telling him to stop.  
“You got no idea how lucky your punk ass is that she's here!” Finn barked at him as the lieutenant made him leave.  
Stupid whore... He thought as he continued to see her through the summation of memories; her face as he said he was not guilty of his crimes, the smug look on her face as he was processed and deloused, the way she thanked that lawyer, Barba, for pushing for a harder sentence and when she showed that lanky puppy dog eyed man support.  
I will get out of here and I will free myself... Arthur vowed as his eye caught sight of a short woman, barely over four foot ten standing on a stool to examine his face.  
“Arthur Cutlass, how are you feeling?” she clinically asked him, her petite and gloved hands began to take off the bandage, and the moment the air hit his face, he let out a scream.  
“It burns! It burns!” he wailed as the woman, a doctor smiled at him. Through the excruciating pain, he made out her ID badge: Dr. Vivian Westwood. A full toothed grin came to her face as she let out a laugh.  
“Good, it should, you piece of shit.” She gleefully answered as tossed the bandage in his face and watched him suffer.  
“Why...Why are you doing this?!” Arthur bellowed as she continued to watch him endure the pain, with her arms crossed over her chest, her grey hair hanging over her shoulders.  
“You know why I'm doing this Arthur, it's time that the medical community pick up where the legal system falls short.” She turned and adjusted his IV bag, “I knew her, ADA Quin Montgomery, the one you've ruined with your perversions. She studied with my daughter, Gloria, she gave so much of herself to others, and you had to tarnish her!” Dr. Westwood shouted as she took a moment to relish in his suffering. Her eyes lit up as he writhed about in the bed, handcuffed to the metal frame, consumed by the suffering and continued burning on his face.  
“I don't know who that is!” Arthur howled as she put on what looked like a hazmat mask over her face.  
“Ancient essential oils.” She answered him, “That is what's burning you. Little known fact about pure peppermint, it's a hot oil, which means the moment it touches human skin, burns like hell. However, the smell makes it a weak weapon, people know you have it on you the moment you open the vial, yet, mix it with a few other compounds and you get a very lovely torture device with no smell.”   
Out of her doctor's coat, she took an atomizer and sprayed several spritzes in his eyes and face.  
“Aaaagggghhh!” Arthur cried out as he tried to wipe it off of his face with his shoulder. The mixture got into his eyes, but also his nose, throat and mouth, causing all to feel as if he was eating hot boiling wax.  
“That's for all of us you monsters think you can break down, for all of us who close our eyes and see you before we fall asleep and before we wake up. Payback for what you did to her, and to those other children, and I know there were others because a scumbag like you doesn't like limitations, starts now!”  
Arthur bawled at Dr. Westwood pulled back the covers and sprayed the mixture over his groin.  
“AAAGGHH!”  
“And the best part, there isn't a test to detect it anywhere, which means that you and I get to have these chats...” She pocketed the atomizer as she called the guard over, quickly removing her mask and kicking it under his bed.  
“Thanks for letting me have some alone time with Mr. Cutlass, hopefully my one on one sessions with him will help him in his time of need.” Her hand slipped a one hundred dollar bill into the guard's pocket.  
“Anytime, Dr. Westwood.” Reggie cautiously replied as she left the hospital wing.  
As her heels clicked along the cement floor of the wing, she dialed a phone number and put her cellphone to her ear.  
“Hello?”  
“Patrice, it's done. I have it perfected, I just got done with a trial run of it. It was very successful.”  
“Excellent, I'll get it from you when the time is right. Take care.”  
“You too sweetie, tell Bishop hi from me!” she ended the call and continued to walk back to her office, her heels clicking as she chuckled.

 

Quin walked into her apartment for the first time in nearly a month and felt how to her intuition, her space had changed significantly. It was no longer her meager nook to escape the world from, instead it was the center of her current mental disarray. She stepped aside as Ronnie and Carisi brought in her bags. How Carisi knew what clothing she liked, she had no clue, but was eternally grateful that he'd picked out her attire versus Ronnie. She pulled her coat off of her body, slowly and with care to her shoulder, and sat it down on the back of the couch as she looked at Ronnie.  
“Ronnie?”  
“Yeah, love?” his cheery voice made her feel guilty about what she was about to ask of him.  
“Um, could Carisi and I have a moment to talk, alone... I just wanna talk to him about a few things.” she felt her shoulders shiver as a cool breeze blew past them.  
“Of course love, I'll move your things into your bedroom, so you or one of us can unpack them. I can stay in there as long as you like.” he smiled as he toused her hair.  
“Thanks Ronnie.” she softly said as Carisi walked over to her.  
“I don't mind helping your Quin, you've gotta know that by now, right?” his face lit up as she sat down on the sofa and he joined her.  
“I know that you'd do anything for me, which is why...” she stopped as she tried to hold back tears. There weren't words eloquent enough to thank him for what he'd been through. He'd sacrificed hours and weekends he could have spent developing his own relationship with Barba to search for her and the others. The sheer selflessness that radiated from his personality was such a gift to her that she feared she wouldn't have the means to express her gratitude for him.  
“Hey, no need for waterworks, you've cried enough, huh? It's just laughs from here on out-”   
“-Sonny.” she looked at him, “Thank you.” she pressed herself to continue her list of praises she'd generated throughout the ordeal and finalized on their silent car ride home.  
“Thank you for just being nice to me from the first day, to not just see me as some savant child. I appreciate and treasure every moment you were there for me, after the abduction, to the car ride, to shadowing me on the sullivan trial, to-” she stopped as tears flowed from her eyes and his, his own emotions reflecting his gratefulness that she thanked him so intimately.  
“Aw...Quin, it's no biggie, you'd do the same for me...you'd” he choked up as she got up and hugged him.  
“Shush, I mean that, you're one of my best friends Sonny, you know that, right?” she tried to laugh to break up the intensity but Sonny pulled her closer.  
“Yeah, I know, heh...I know...” he said through soft sobs as he held her close to him.   
The bond they shared would never be romantic or sexual; which was a profound relief to her, she wanted a sibling and a friend, both of which she got with him.  
“So...am I sister number four or what?” Quin teased as he looked at her, his blue eyes filed with a somber respect for her.  
“You are my sister, from another mister for life Montgomery, like, if I'm not your bride guy in your wedding-”  
Quin laughed and rolled her eyes out of amusement, but he continued, “Hey, I mean it, I do! Mike's gonna marry you and your gonna give me the strongest and smartest nephews and nieces- however they self identify- and I'm gonna love them, because they're gonna be the best of both of you, okay?”  
“Mike and I can't really see each other at the moment, so reproducing is off the table, besides, I wouldn't have grandparents to give them, and I'm not good at mom stuff Sonny...”  
Carisi wiped his face, “You sell yourself too short, but okay, no kids even, I just want you and the sarge to be happy, to get better, and to try to be as cool as Barba and I, okay?” He laughed, its infectious nature causing her to laugh, and for her frazzled intuition to feel that her apartment was hers again, hers to retreat in, to love in, to laugh in.  
“Okay,” Quin wiped her face as well, “so...when do the sarge and I get to meet this handsome ADA who has whisked you off your feet?” she jokingly asked, looking over at him, “Is he a good man to you?” She looked at him with a stern, maternal expression.  
“Yes ma! He's so good to me...” he looked back at her with the same expression, but his long arms on his hips, a sassy smile on his lips. Both of them burst into laughter as Ronnie opened her bedroom door.  
“Everything alright?” he asked, making his way over to them.  
“Yes Ronnie, we're okay, so you two want dinner? For the first time in a while I'm actually hungry for real food.”  
“I'll make something,” Sonny answered as he got up and walked over to Quin's kitchen. She could hear him opening the fridge and cabinets, but after a few moments, letting out a sigh.  
“Okay, revision to my earlier statement, I would make us something if I'd had the foresight to actually get food, how are you gonna feed yourself?” his mother hen tone coming back into play.  
“Look, Sonny, it's kinda late, how about we let Quin get in a nap before supper and we make a take out run, huh?” Ronnie suggested. Quin saw Sonny look at him and then at her.  
“You gonna be alright by yourself?”  
“Yes, I'll be fine, I was by myself in the hospital, I'll be okay here.” his blue eyes shined with a protective look.  
“You sure, I mean, it happened here...this is still a fresh spot for memories...”  
“It is, sure, but Huang said that being in the place where it happened and the initial shock will go away with time...I'm okay, I'll take a nap and here..” she grabbed her wallet and was met with balking from both of them.  
“Oh no! We're not having it love!” Ronnie shooed her wallet away as Sonny agreed with him.  
“Alright, make a woman feel like a gilded princess why don't you...” Quin sassed as she saw Carisi break out in a smile.  
“What are you hankering for Quin?” her friend asked as he pulled out his mini notebook and readied himself to jot down her request.  
“Really? Some sushi would hit the spot. I've missed it since everything happened...”  
“Right, we'll grab some, along with some normal people food and meet you back here.” Ronnie teased as both men left her place.   
Quin got up and locked the door behind them and then went to her room. She hadn't been in her room since the night Tomas took them, but it had been cleaned and fixed up. The windows no longer had crime scene tape on them and her bed was made like she usually had it.  
Oh Sonny, I'm sorry if you had to see Mike's things...on the floor... she thought as she sat down on her bed. Her mind rippled back to Mike holding her after their moments of intimacy and she laid back on the bed as her eyes closed. She could see his smile, his nose, all the minute details of his person, and she let out a sigh.  
Mike, I'm going to do this, for me and you...I know that even without being able to see you that somewhere out there, you can feel this...this promise. I promise you I'll see me again...I love you and I miss you...  
Sleep took over her as she vowed to survive.  
To thrive.

 

The crescendo of the violin track they were listening to, as they spooned in Barba's bed brought its own ease into their intimacy. For nearly two months, Carisi and Barba has stolen tiny bits of intimacy to solidify their relationship, but now, with the criminals behind bars and his friends resting, Carisi finally felt like could pamper himself and Rafael.   
Dinner had been thoughtfully planned while he and Ronnie had found Quin dinner, and returned to her apartment to drop off a 50 piece sushi boat, and he'd had ample time to woo his beloved with a three course meal before an evening of passion and delights.  
He loved the word, beloved, and knew that what he felt with Rafael was what Quin felt with the sarge. A smile came to him as he snuggled Rafael closer to his body, causing the older man to finally awake from marathon love making session.  
“Mmm...Sonny?” a sleepy Barba asked as Carisi pulled him even closer, his own face resting on Rafael's head , the brown grey strands of hair tickling his nose.  
“Yeah, babe?” Sonny sighed as the violin track ended and was replaced with an ambient sleep track he knew Rafael had been using to sleep during their nights apart.  
“Babe? That's your nickname for me?” Rafael asked as he turned his head and looked up at Sonny.  
“Wha? Babe is classic, iconic, it's you, Rafi.” Sonny grinned as Rafael reached up with his right hand and 'booped' his nose along with making the accompanying 'boop' sound effect.  
“It is, but it makes me feel like a 90's pinup...that's more your speed.” Rafael delivered his counter thought as Sonny shifted on to his stomach, lying next to his lover.  
“Rafi, I'm a child of the 90's, I can't help it, I always wanted to call someone 'babe'.”  
Rafael laughed, “So you're telling me that the pouty sexiness of your mouth never let you get with someone worthy enough to be called babe? I can't buy it,” Rafael incredulous stated as he let out a sigh.  
Sonny knew Rafael was envisioning him as a total babe, when he'd actually been a complete nerd.  
“I wasn't a-”  
Rafael playfully rolled his eyes, “-Sonny you were a band geek or hung out with the science club, you're a dork, but-” Rafael stopped his thought as he rolled on top of him, illiciting another grin from Sonny, “but you're my dork now.”  
Sonny raised an eyebrow, “ I dunno if I'm down with this possessive Cuban goodness you're throwin' at me.”  
Rafael sighed, “Oh please, I'll possess you all I want.” he paused as Sonny's dimples appeared, “with your consent of course.”  
“Gladly given, counselor.” Sonny kissed him and felt Rafael's member harden against him, “Round two then?” he joked as Rafael looked at him.  
“Can I be honest?” the serious expression came over his lover's face.  
“Yes, I mean, I can wait a while...”  
“No, not that...but, Liv and I have been going over the bullet analysis and we still can't figure out if Arthur shot Quin or not.”  
Sonny let out a mental sigh of relief for a fraction of a second, it was okay that Rafael was bringing up work to him, he always learned something, but this was not the line of questioning he wanted to field at this moment, not with his hidden knowledge of the truth.  
I haven't even told Benson about it...Rafi...just let it go...please. He thought as Rafael continued his line of thought.  
“Warner hasn't been able to get any CSI types to piece the bullet fragments together, Arthur just flung them about when taking them out of Quin, so did she mention anything about it to you, on the ambulance ride to the hospital?”  
Sonny felt his chest seize up; the burning desire to come clean about Cassidy shooting Quin was at a near boil. He could feel his own body tremble as Rafael's eyes skimmed him over.  
“Raf- look, wouldn't chief Dodds be a better person to ask-?”  
“We did ask him, he says that Quin was already shot when he saved her, and that the bullets that killed the two bastards that had them were the same to the one Dodds used to shoot Munch-” his lover's eyes sparked with the bright realization that Sonny had only seen in the courtroom, milliseconds before Rafael eviscerated the defense, “-son of a bitch...he's covering for his son, we couldn't see it because of the feed going black...Mike shot Quin! He did it in some moment of insanity, and then left her to deal with Cutlass...he drove her to this hell!” Rafael ended his epiphany by scrambling to his phone, but Sonny stopped him.  
“Rafi, it wasn't Mike! It couldn't have been!-”  
Rafael continued to dial his phone, almost connecting a call with Benson when Sonny belted out the rest of the secret,   
“Cassidy shot her! Okay?!”  
Rafael's thumb ended the call and he looked at Sonny, who could see him wrap the comforter around his waist. “How do you know that?”  
Sonny looked away as he answered, “She...” he sighed, “she told me he shot her, look- Rafi she was exhausted and almost dying, saving her was the priority...it's more important than putting Cassidy away.”  
Rafael stood up and took in one of his trademark sharp breaths, “Why in the hell didn't Dodds take the bullet for her?!” he seethed with a bubbling rage, “All this time she's been with him, she's put up with my crap for her dating him and working with him, and he doesn't even have the courage to take a hit for her...I...”he growled the words at Sonny, who pulled the sheets up to his chest.  
“Rafi...she took it for him...” Sonny saw Rafael's grey irises expand, “when Cassidy thought that Munch was gone, because Dodds shot him, but not for why you think, he did it to counteract the stuff they injected Munch with, Cassidy lost it, he-”  
“He shot her in cold blood, he didn't even think to hold back Sonny...”  
“She's not angry with him, she forgave Cassidy in the hospital...Rafi, she doesn't want to ruin his career, it doesn't matter-”  
Rafael fumed, “Doesn't matter?! Doesn't matter?! Sonny, I have to prosecute Cassidy, he shot an ADA!”  
“In an extreme set of circumstances, and he meant to shoot the sarge-”  
“Oh, even better! The second in command of Manhattan's SVU?! Even fucking better!” Rafael finished as he stormed off into the bathroom, trailing the comforter behind him. Sonny shuffled behind him, without any clothing on.  
“Rafi, please! She forgave Cassidy, don't put her through this! Please! It isn't what she wants!” Sonny banged on the bathroom door as Rafael huffed inside and then opened the door, and then flung the comforter at Sonny's face.  
It took Sonny a few moments to liberate himself from the comforter, he noticed Rafael was dressed in his boxers, which were a size or two small for the shorter man.  
“Sonny,” Rafael tried to self soothe himself with reason, “it doesn't matter what she wants, if I keep this from Liv and chief Doods and the defense gets wind of it, I'm screwed! This isn't an option that I'm even going to entertain...”  
Quin, I'm sorry, but it was Cassidy or Dodds..I- Sonny apologized to her as Rafael briskly walked past him.  
“Sonny...I have to call Liv, you should go to the living room...”  
Sonny picked up his pants and shirt, quickly dressing as Barba let out a sigh and kissed him on the cheek.  
“Sonny...I love you, I could have really just used this earlier on...”  
Sonny felt himself take in his lover's remorse with being furious, “Rafi- she really forgave him...and he's sorry about it, I know he is...” he pulled on his pants and zipped them.  
“I know, but Sonny, I have to have him arrested, you know that...”  
“Yeah, I know, Rafi?”  
“Yes?” Rafael asked as his eyes softened, letting Sonny know that their moment of feuding was over.  
“Sometimes it feels like we aren't going to get actual justice.”  
“Welcome to my world...babe.” Rafael replied as Sonny felt his hand cupping his face and then his warm lips kissing him.  
Sonny would have held him all night if it meant keeping him happy, if it mean that his friend's life wasn't going to be twisted and turned upside down more than it already had been.  
Rafael ended the kiss and made his way to his bed. Sonny could hear his lover calling his boss and his heart sank.  
“Liv, Barba-you aren't going to like this...” Rafael's voice echoed around him as Sonny thought, He chose the job.  
Sonny's body hit the couch as he rested his head back against it, staring upwards at the blank ceiling. The booming silence of his space mocked him and all he felt was one thing-  
Regret.


End file.
